Guide You Home
by LyricalRiot
Summary: A modern AU Reylo story. Rey has been raised by Mando the bounty hunter, and now she thinks she wants to be a bounty hunter too - but first she has to prove herself by bringing in a mark all by herself. She's tasked with arresting notorious bail skipper Han Solo. Rey manages to track him down and is ready to make her move, when she's intercepted by Han's son, Ben.
1. Chapter 1

Hey friends! Welcome to my new fic! This story is inspired from an idea from #ReyloPrompts. I meant to write it in-universe, but it begged to be a modern AU instead and, I admit, I'd been really fun to write. It's a collision of Mandalorian and the ST, if Rey had been raised by Mando instead of alone. So some of it is about that dynamic, but don't worry, it is still a Reylo story at its core so the main focus will be Rey and Ben.

Anyway, hope you have as much fun with it as I do. I promise quick updates!

First chapter is from Mando's point of view, but the rest (except for one more from Mando later on down the line) is from Rey's.

* * *

GUIDE YOU HOME

**.a modern au reylo fic.**

* * *

chapter one: it's not much, but it's the closest thing they have

* * *

"There's still time, bro. Please."

The guy in the backseat speaks his urgent words into the glass of the window, pressing his face to it, looking at the dingy streets of lower downtown. Panic making his shoulders tense up around his neck.

Mando ignores him.

"C'mon, buddy, whatever they're paying you for taking me in, I'll match it. I'll pay more, even. How much?"

His wild-eyed gaze flicks to the review mirror, and Mando meets it coolly.

"Most people aren't this talkative after getting tased - twice," he says without empathy.

The man starts to swear, stringing a lace of colorful words so long they could fill a textbook. Mando tunes him out. He's used to this. It's part of the job. He navigates traffic with the boredom of someone who is too comfortable in their own town. Might be time to move on soon. He usually needs a new scene when it starts to feel this apathetic, but it's complicated this time. Roots have grown where he didn't want to plant them, and pulling up and out will be harder than before.

He smoothly sweeps into a parallel parking spot in front of the police station.

The perp brings a foot up to kick against the cage separating him from Mando. It rattles, but doesn't give.

"Dammit don't do this! I can't go to jail!"

Again, Mando says nothing. He's heard all this before. Some skips come quietly, and some come kicking and screaming. This one is definitely being a crybaby about it. Every time Mando brings someone in, there's some amount of bargaining or pleading, and it's honestly getting old. He's not as young as he once was, and he feels it in the ache of his muscles after wrestling this loser to the ground. He's not in the mood for this protest today, so he forgoes the part where he calmly reminds the skip about missing trial dates and making better life choices.

Most of them never do. He does a lot of re-arresting the previously re-arrested.

He gets out of the car and goes around to the other side, hand coming to rest on his taser at his side before he opens the door. "No funny business or you'll get it again. You want it again?"

The man shakes his head and issues a soft wail of despair.

Mando drags him out of the car and wrenches him to his feet.

Some officers are already coming down the steps to meet him, so he lets them do the work of hauling the groaning, protesting, cuffed man up and in. They give him a nod. They know him and they know what this is about. They'll save him the paperwork, which is one of the few nice things about staying in a place for this long. He nods back and returns to his car, a weary breath escaping him. His ribs hurt where the perp headbutted him, but otherwise he escaped this encounter unscathed.

It doesn't always go that way.

He heads down a single block and parks in an alleyway adjacent to a dingy little shop reading NEVARRO BAIL BONDS. A bell tinkles overhead when he walks inside.

Griff looks up from the computer, his brow ticking up in surprise. "You're back early. Couldn't find him?"

Mando eases himself into a chair on the other side of the desk — that rib hurts a little more than he thought. Might be bruised to the bone. At least he knows it isn't broken. He's had plenty of broken ribs before, and this isn't like that.

"I found him."

A slow grin spreads over Griff's brown face. "He's in?"

"He's in."

He claps his hands together and then raises them to the sky in an act of praise. "Mando, you've done it again. All these years together and I'm still surprised. You're worth every penny of your exorbitant fee. I probably shouldn't tell you that, though, or you'll charge me double. Well, don't even try it. No agent is worth that much."

"Yeah, yeah." Mando is tired. He isn't interested in the praise or the reproach. Griff doesn't like giving him twenty-five percent when other agents only get ten, but he doesn't have much of a choice. And Griff resents him for it. Mando kicks his feet up onto the desk. "The kid'll be in tomorrow. You find something like we discussed?"

Griff nods, wheeling his office chair away from his computer and over to a large filing cabinet. He pulls a thick file and brings it back to the desk. "I got the perfect one. Non-violent, according to what we know, but incredibly difficult. He's got warrants out everywhere. I might not be the only one after him."

Mando lifts a skeptical brow. "A skip with multiple warrants but who is non-violent?"

"Well," Griff hedges, giving him an innocent smile, "let's just say he hasn't _killed_ anyone, at least."

Mando doesn't like that. "You couldn't find some mellowed out toker who just forgot to show up for his trial?"

"Sure, I got plenty of those, but that would be easy. I thought you said you didn't want easy." He flips the file folder open and motions to the first page. "Take a look and see if you're comfortable."

Mando sighs. He doesn't really like _any_ of this. He flips the folder closed and pushes it back towards Griff. "I don't need to take a look now. She knows what she can handle. Besides, she'll let me come along tomorrow to hear the rundown, and you can tell me about it then."

"She will?" Now it's Griff's turn to look skeptical.

"Or she won't. Her decision." He stands again, leaning on the desk and staring down into the older face of his employer. "Either way, you're _sure_ she'll have trouble with this one?"

"Sure. Well, I mean, it's not the most dangerous, not that kind of trouble, but I thought you said —"

"I said most difficult, not most dangerous."

"Right, that's what this is." He taps on the thick file folder. "Trust me, she won't be able to catch him. But you haven't really explained why you want her to fail. I'd rather give her something easy to start her off, like that toker. Is this some religious thing with you again? Don't be like that, Mando. You trained her, give her the chance to be as good as you. Or is that why? You're afraid she will be. You know I'll replace you with her if she charges me less but can do the same thing."

"You won't replace me," Mando said patiently. He straightens again. "This doesn't have to do with religion. I mean, she thinks it does, and I guess in a way it does, but I need her to see a different future for herself. This life isn't for her, though she doesn't know it yet. I need her to find that out."

Griff shrugs. "Suit yourself. It's your call. I just think it's a shame to kill the kid's confidence like that."

"She can handle it." He turns to head out the door, pausing to toss over his shoulder, "It's still twenty-five, Griff. Make the deposit."

Griff swears at him, the jingling of the bell above the door drowning him out as Mando returns to the dusk.

* * *

…

* * *

He leaves downtown, heading out towards the highway which leads commuters and travelers to the mountains. It's a short drive, away from the city and into the country, turning down a dirt road, taking him to an isolated trailer community. Technically it's a commercial RV park, and it does fill up during the summer camping season — with the proximity to the mountains and the spectacular night views of the city, it's a popular site for weekenders.

But it's just a little too far away from the mountains for the ski crowd, meaning in the fall and winter, it's practically a graveyard.

Mando's RV is one of three permanents. There is a retired couple in a sleek airstream cylinder with a little gated hexagon for their two small dogs and a garden gnome sitting beside their step. The other is a former police officer in a crusty old Winnebago. Mando's is somewhere in the middle, a modest Class C Super Diesel with enough room for him, the kid, and the baby, and virtually nobody else.

He pulls up and watches them out the window for a moment. They both must have heard him, but neither reacts.

The kid is tangled around an old motorcycle, grease-stained and hard at work with a socket wrench. The baby is digging in the dirt a few feet away from her, scooping it up and dumping it into his shoes, which are off and already overflowing. They're both suitably filthy.

She's not really a kid anymore, and the baby isn't really a baby either, and the confirmation of this makes Mando momentarily wistful. He's become painfully aware of the ephemeral nature of this little arrangement they've all got, especially in the last few weeks.

He gets out of the car and locks it, checking on the younger one first.

"Hey, buddy," he greets.

The five year old glances up at him and grins. "Hi, Papa."

Mando ruffles his hair. "Making a mess?"

"Yep."

He nods, not bothering to think about the logistics of cleaning up that mess. He doesn't bother trying to correct the familial name either. He can't get Dyn to stop calling him Papa, so he's given in. Second child syndrome, he jokes with himself. The name is stuck

He heads over to the motorcycle.

"Rey," he says.

She slides to her feet and stands, setting her tools on the seat of the bike and wiping her brow. This smears a smudge of grease across it, completing her look. The day is a cool one, autumn turning to winter, but she's still sweaty along her hairline.

"Hey Mando." She glances over at the younger child and starts in alarm. "Dyn! Stop! Your shoes are already filthy!"

The child looks at Mando for confirmation that he should indeed stop, and Mando can hear her little breathe of annoyance. He waves at Dyn to forget the command and turns back to the girl.

"It's fine," he tells Rey.

She presses her lips into a thin line. "You gonna be the one to clean him up then?"

"Sure."

"Right." She folds her arms and regards him without the affection a daughter would have for her father. But then, they aren't really father and daughter, and he's never allowed her to pretend otherwise. It's his own fault that she has that look in her face.

She's changed so much from when he found her nine years ago, but he can't stop seeing the scrawny little ten-year old she was, scrabbling around a tiny town in the desert of Arizona, starving and feral and completely alone. Now she's a grown woman, still skinny but no longer emaciated, grease-stained instead of dusty, independent instead of wild. He shouldn't feel a flicker of regret at this, shouldn't mourn her growing up the way a father would - as he has constantly reminded her, and himself, every day since he found her hiding in the back of his RV, two hundred miles away from where she was supposed to be, he is _not_ her father. But he does feel it.

"So what did Griff say? Am I still good for tomorrow?"

Mando drags himself out of the memory at her question, and he sighs heavily again. "Yes, he has something for you. Listen, kid, you sure you want to do this?"

Her jaw sets, her eyes flashing with flint again. "I'm sure."

They've been over this conversation before, but he intends to make her go through it again.

"This isn't a good life for you, Rey."

"It's good enough for you," she fires back.

"It's dangerous. I've almost died. I have been seriously hurt."

"So have I, helping you."

"You've gotten lucky. We've never run into really dangerous trouble. At least, not when you've been with me. "

"That's kind of the point. I know what I'm getting myself into. Besides, it's always a lot less dangerous for you when I'm there. You aren't supposed to do this job alone. You need a partner. You don't run into as much trouble when I'm with you."

It is true, though Mando will not acknowledge this to her. He's always worked alone, but having this kid tag along everywhere meant that sometimes she jumped in and helped out, until eventually he just gave in and trained her. She is scrappy and tough and he can count on her in a tight spot. And she is good with people. She can get crazed skips to calm down with just a few soothing words. It feels like witchcraft sometimes, and scares the hell out of Mando, but he can't deny it is extremely useful.

The problem is that her skills with people come from a well of deep kindness, and Mando knows that this life will slowly chip away at that kindness until she is as jaded and careworn as he is.

Her light is too bright to give to this sorry profession of hunting down bail skippers and criminals.

"This isn't about me being better at my job, Rey. This is about what you're going to do with your life."

"This is what I choose to do."

"You've really given up on the auto shop then?"

It's a necessary part of this dance, reminding her of the other thing she is scary good at — machines.

Rey throws her hands up in exasperation. "I quit two weeks ago, which you already know, and asking me about it again won't make me go running back."

"You could make more money doing that than doing what I do," he explains. Again.

And it wouldn't be as dangerous, though he doesn't add this because for as long as he's known her, Rey has demonstrated a worrying disregard for danger.

"I'm going inside if you keep talking about this," she warns.

Mando relents, knowing full well that she will shut herself into a silent box of isolation if he keeps pushing. She's good at that. Being alone.

She was good at that before he found her, and she's had to be good at it since. It's not like he's great company.

"Papa, I'm hungry," Dyn declares. "Can we go catch frogs by the river for dinner?"

Rey makes a face. "No frogs."

Mando can't help it, he grins at the little kid. "You just like catching them, you don't actually like eating them."

"I _love_ to catch them," Dyn agrees.

Mando rubs the stubble on his chin and considers. "I did just bring in a big one today. What if we got pizza?"

Rey's face lights up, like he knew it would. Dyn jumps up too, pumping his little fists in the air. Dust flies from his every movement like a cloud.

"Pizza!" he cries. "Pepperoni! Please can we get pepperoni?"

Rey goes over and takes his hand. "You're too dirty to eat anything. Come on. While Mando goes to get the pizza, we'll clean up. You go first."

Dyn's face scrunches up in protest. "I don't want to take a shower."

"I'm not filling up the bin tonight, that just makes extra work. You'll just take a quick shower. It'll be fine." She waves Mando off.

He turns with a peculiar feeling in the pit of his stomach and goes back to his car. Delivery doesn't come way out here, he'll have to go pick something up. But that isn't really what's bothering him. Tomorrow, Rey will take her first steps into independence and adulthood. And he wants that for her. Part of him has been wanting to be free of her since he found her. But he has grown fond of having her around, and not just because she's good with Dyn. She's been his tagalong companion for nine years. It's been so long, he doesn't really remember life before she came into it.

But as much as he doesn't want this household dynamic he has now to change, he doesn't want her stagnating in his pond either. So no matter what happens tomorrow, whether she succeeds or fails and realizes she's destined for more, Mando knows he will feel melancholy at the end of it. He didn't want fatherhood, and yet two little foundlings came into his life, and now he is having trouble with one of them getting ready to make her own life.

He shakes his head and pulls out of the RV park. If Rey succeeds, which Mando has fixed so she won't, she will try to become his partner in fugitive recovery. And he probably won't tell her no, because he is getting tired of it and having someone younger take the helm, who could calm angry criminals down, would be a mercy.

But she won't, and he'll encourage her to go back to the auto shop, and eventually she'll find a life outside him and Dyn. And he will be pleased, but it will also mean the end of an era.

So he will get this pizza tonight and they will enjoy it, and then tomorrow they will face what future lies ahead.


	2. Chapter 2

chapter two: she can handle it

* * *

Rey wakes early the next morning, before Mando and Dyn are up. She listens to the quiet of the RV for a minute, Dyn's steady, rhythmic breaths on the bunk beneath her and Mando's low, growly snores further away. These are sounds she's grown used to, and they bring her a measure of comfort. But her mind is already racing and she can't stay here listening to it for long. Something restless needs to be set free. So she slips quietly off her bunk in the back of the RV and puts on some leggings, a moisture-wicking tee, and an oversized sweater and then heads out into the frosty morning.

Dawn is still pale and new on the horizon. The rolling fields between the RV park and the city look like they're made of twinkling glass, each blade delicate and white. Rey breathes in biting, sharp morning air and centers her mind.

She had trouble sleeping last night, but that's nothing new. She has never been a great sleeper. She is often plagued by this hollow, gnawing feeling in the pit of her stomach. Like she is still in the desert of Arizona, waiting. Waiting for something.

Maybe today that waiting would finally end. She's ready to take this step into adulthood and prove herself as a bounty hunter.

—_Fugitive recovery agent_, she corrects herself wryly. Mando gets annoyed when she uses the more colorful job description.

He doesn't want her to do this, which only makes her want to do it more. Their relationship has always been complicated like that. She tells him she wants to become a bounty hunter because it's the life she knows, he set the example, and she wants to become his partner, but the truth is that it's more than that. Her reasons for wanting to do this run so much deeper.

She starts to jog, away from the RV park and down a bike path that leads into the fields.

Rey has always needed so much more from Mando than he has been willing to give. She needed a father, but he refused to let her place him in that role. She needed affection from him, but he kept her at arm's length, this weird little barnacle he can't get rid of. She knows he cares, in his own awkward way — probably why he's so determined that she _not_ follow in his footsteps, but she still hungers for more. She can admit to herself that she's chasing his approval by following his footsteps, even if he says he doesn't want her to do it.

Rey's breath ghosts in front of her in the cold morning air, coming harder now as her lungs start to burn.

Mando is different with Dyn. Maybe because Dyn came to them three years ago as this tiny little baby, meaning Mando has well and truly raised him, or maybe because he has learned something from Rey, or maybe because Dyn seems to draw love out of everyone he meets. Rey doesn't know the reason, but she knows that Mando is so much more fatherly to the kid than he has ever been with Rey.

She doesn't resent Dyn for that. He can't help it, and she's happy he'll get more from Mando than she ever did. But kriff, it hurts.

Sometimes she watches them together and has the peculiar sensation that she is the outsider, and this was the family they were supposed to be.

She runs faster, trying to outpace that twist of pain in her chest.

It's why today is so important. She has to become a bounty hunter — _fugitive recovery agent, Rey!_ — and insist he take her on as a partner, or else she'll have to find something else to do with her life, and they'll eventually move on without her.

That can't happen.

Through her mind flickers the image of the psychic she helped Mando track down a few weeks ago. Mama Maz, they called her. She failed to appear in court on a minor misdemeanor charge, so they were tasked with bringing her in. But Mama Maz was docile and calm, one of the more dignified fugitives they'd ever tracked down. While Rey waited with her in the car, Mando had to subdue a couple big bikers who were trying to keep him from taking her. Mama Maz looked and Rey and said she could see Rey's pain. She told Rey she wouldn't find belonging behind her, but that it yet lay ahead.

Rey thought it was a bunch of nonsense at the time, and she still does. But right now the words keep echoing around her head and she resents them. She doesn't want the assurance that one day she'll find people to whom she can belong. She wants that already. She wants to belong here, with Mando and Dyn.

She runs until her lungs and legs are on fire, until her mind is finally clear and she is ready. Then she turns and uses the jog back to cool down.

By the time she gets there, Mando is awake, pouring Dyn some cereal. He doesn't say anything to her as she enters the trailer and heads for the bathroom. He's still waiting for her to change her mind. She knows this - can feel it the way she can feel the right words people need to calm down. Well, he can wait forever as far as she is concerned. She's not changing her mind about this.

She showers and changes into practical, tactically appropriate attire. She wears tan cargo pants with thermals beneath, loading the pockets with rubber rounds, taser cartridges, pepper pellets, and both steel and zip cuffs. She hasn't needed to use these often, but she intends to have them on hand just in case. On top she wears a white thermal long sleeve under a light sand-colored tee. It hugs her close, which is important. She can't afford to have much slack for some angry skip or his defensive family to grab onto. She throws her hair up into a bun and assesses herself in the mirror. Yes, this would do.

She comes out and gives Dyn a kiss on the top of his head. "You gonna miss me today, pal?"

He turns his enormous green eyes on her in dismay, talking through a mouthful of cereal and milk. "Where are you going?"

She snags a paper towels to catch the drips running off his chin. "I'm going to work."

"But you said you were done with work." He frowns.

"Rey is going to go to my work today," Mando says, sliding onto the bench across from the kid. "We're going with her, then we'll come back and it'll be you and me."

Dyn's face lights up. "You're staying home?"

Mando nods. He glances at Rey. "Take a second and eat something. It could be a long day."

She fries herself an egg and makes a piece of toast. Her stomach is tight and nervous, she doesn't know that she really wants to eat, but as usually happens when a trace of food comes near her mouth, she wolfs it down with all the desperation of her days starving in the desert. She feels better after.

* * *

…

* * *

Rey drives her own car to Nevarro Bail Bonds. She already installed the cage between the front and passenger seats, put bars on her windows, and her trunk is stocked with supplies she snagged from Mando's stockpile. She is nervous, but determined and ready.

Mando and Dyn park behind her. They follow her into the office.

The owner is there, a middle-aged black man with a thin mustache and short-cropped hair. He stands up when she walks in, his gaze flicking from her to Mando behind them.

"Right on time, Djarin clan," he says, giving Rey a significant look. "Have a seat, darling. Hey, tiny man."

Dyn grins and gives Griff a fist-bump as Rey sinks into the seat on the customer side of the desk. She's been through this routine enough times with Mando, so she is ready when Griff pulls out a thick file folder.

"Mando, explain to me _again_ why she has to do this alone?" Griff asks as he shuffled through the papers inside. "I'm not comfortable sending a little girl like her out into the field by herself. If she runs into multiple hostiles, they could ambush her and take her down easy."

"I know how to take care of myself," Rey assures him. She is cool composure. "And I have to do my first one alone."

"But why?" Griff presses.

Mando speaks from behind her. "This is the way."

Rey stifles the impulse to roll her eyes. Griff does it for her instead, expressing as much exasperation for Mando's superstitions as she feels too. He purses his lips and returns his attention back to Rey.

"Are you really choosing to follow his mumbo jumbo religion?"

"No," replies Rey. "But I will honor this one last custom, so he has to recognize me as an adult."

Mando says nothing, and Rey knows it's because there is nothing he can say. His religion dictates that all who seek to earn privileges and come of age must pass a test of their fortitude and character, unassisted. He's never made her participate in his practices, but she has chosen to follow this one. The advantages outweigh the nuisance. This first solo bounty will be her test.

Griff is incredulous. He looks at Mando. "Is this about dating? Will you not let her date until she proves she can kick some ass?"

Mando laughs, soft and low. "She can already do that, and no. It doesn't have to do with dating. She can do that whenever she wants."

He's never talked to her about boys, or girls for that matter, and Rey has never asked. In high school a couple guys tried to cozy up to her, but she wasn't interested. They both thought she'd be easy, being a girl without parents and a disinterested guardian. She wasn't. Whatever social rituals people usually went through in high school, Rey had skipped them. She wasn't able to connect meaningfully to any of the kids at the mostly affluent, nuclear family-oriented school and so she preferred to be the loner nobody paid attention to, disappearing during lunch to work on her machines. After high school things didn't really change in that regard. A few creeps had tried to hit on her at the auto shop, and she was pretty certain by now that guys really had nothing interesting to offer.

Rey taps her fingers impatiently on the table. "I just want the job, okay?"

Griff shakes his head. "I'm gonna need you to sign a whole bunch of indemnity waivers, kiddo. This is a bad idea, but if you're determined to do it, I can't be help responsible."

"I wouldn't do that to you," Rey says.

He slides the paperwork over anyway, and she signs everything he wants her to. When she's done, he trades her for the file folder.

She flips it open to see a mugshot clipped to the first leaf of paper. It's a middle-aged white man with hazel eyes, a scruffy beard and admittedly great hair, thoroughly salted and peppered now. He's wearing a kind of smirk.

Griff explains. "This is Han Solo. He's a smuggler, specializing in trafficked electronics, foods, and sometimes exotic animals. He has warrants out in several states. He was arrested for possession of stolen goods here a few months ago. We conducted our business, got him out, but his trial is finally coming up. He's not a skip — yet, but we know he will. He's got that reputation. Don't worry, he's non-violent, but he won't be easy to catch. The guy is slippery."

Rey studies in the face in the picture. His cocky grin tells her he doesn't mind getting his mugshot taken. There is confidence in that face, the confidence of someone who knows he isn't going to jail.

"Family?"

"That one's been tricky to pin down," Griff acknowledges. "We have some evidence to suggest he was married once, but the records are confusing, some of them are redacted or the information has been restricted. Either way, it seems he hasn't been in communication with his ex in a few years. He was believed to be out of the country until he turned up here earlier this year."

"Do we have a last known location?" Rey rifles through the paperwork, glancing over his priors. Some minor assault charges, but nothing alarming. She suspects she could probably talk this guy out of trying to lash back violently, but if that foxy grin tells her anything, it's that he won't submit to arrest quietly.

Griff leans back in his chair. "My skiptracers have him in Seattle."

"Seattle?" Mando chokes.

"Seattle?" Rey echoes, brows flying up in surprise.

Seattle is far. It's at least a 24 hour drive. She glances back at Mando and Dyn. So much for trying to stay close to them so they don't settle into life without her. She'd have to make this quick.

Dyn is playing on Mando's phone, drawing with his finger in luminous green lines. Mando is squinting at Griff, his brows low and mouth thin.

"Seattle, yeah," Griff confirms. "That's why we're revoking his bail and bringing him in. He's not showing up for his trial if he's in Washington, is he?"

Rey quickly flits through the states where bounty hunting is outlawed, and doesn't think she remembers Washington among them. Oregon, yes, but she's fairly certain anything in Seattle would be fair game.

"Okay," she decides. "I can do it."

"Rey," Mando starts, but she cuts him off with a little glare.

"I can _do it_," she insists.

She isn't sure if his protest comes from his underlying reluctance to let her join him in his profession or if he actually cares that she has to go so far, but either way, she doesn't want it.

Griff gives Mando a look, lifting his brow. "Are you still determined she has to do it alone? If she gets into trouble way out there, she'll be too far away for a rescue."

Mando's jaw tightens repeatedly, like he's chewing back the words he wants to say. Finally, he shrugs. "If the kid thinks she can do it, we have to let her try."

Griff curses softly under his breath and throws up his hands. "Fine. Fine. You're both absolutely crazy. But if you can pull this off —" he points a finger in Rey's face, his brows lifting to lend impact to his next words, "If you can pull this off, you'll be my new go-to, got it? You'll replace this old hack as my favorite. You get the best jobs, you get the highest cut."

Rey grins. "You'd better mean that, because I'll expect you to fulfill that promise."

Griff nods, pulling his finger back to fold his arms over his chest. "I mean it."

He glances up at Mando as if expecting a protest. He doesn't get one.

Rey snags the file folder and pulls it into her messenger bag. "Can I borrow a vest?"

"In the back." Griff throws his head to the door behind him.

She stands and goes to it, ignoring whatever murmured exchange he is trying to initiate with Mando while she digs through Griff's supply closet, hauling out a bullet-proof vest labeled FUGITIVE RECOVERY on the front and back. She doesn't put it on yet, though. She won't need to for another 24 hours at least, maybe more, depending on how difficult this Han Solo guy is to track down.

Back in the office again, she signs whatever other formalities Griff needs from her and then marches back out to her car. Mando and Dyn trail behind.

She throws the things in the trunk, and gets in, heading off back to the RV park. She didn't plan to be gone for multiple days when she packed this morning, and she has to go that way to get on the road to Seattle anyway. She doesn't see if Mando and Dyn are following, she knows they'll be along shortly.

They arrive just after she's finished loading up a small backpack with a few necessary items. She doesn't have much, but she doesn't anticipate needing much. She puts the bag in her car.

Mando and Dyn have just gotten out of his. He comes over to her and leans against her door, clicking it shut again.

"In a hurry?"

"Yeah, you could say that. The sooner I get going, the sooner I nab this guy and get back."

"So you're just gonna take off without saying goodbye?"

She twirls her key ring around one finger, raising a single eyebrow at him. "You want me to?"

This catches him off guard, and he frowns. "I mean, nobody's forcing you, kid."

Dyn tugs on her sleeve. "Rey, when are you coming back from work?"

She crouches down next to him, ruffling his hair. "Not for a few days, buddy. But I will be back, don't worry."

He wraps his little arms tight around her neck, and she can feel his little heartbeat fluttering through his whole body. For as long as she's known him, Rey has resisted thinking of him as her little brother. Mando didn't want them to get too comfortable thinking they were a family — he always made that painfully clear — and so she tried not to fall into that trap. But Dyn is irresistible, and she couldn't help herself. He is the closest thing to a sibling she will ever have, and she loves him.

"Don't forget me," she pleads, a soft whisper into his hair.

Even if Mando likes Dyn better than he likes her, Dyn at least loves her. She knows this. And even if he and Mando make a more natural family than the three of them, he at least will miss her.

Eventually she makes him let go, kissing the top of his head and standing to face the man who has raised her since she was ten.

He is watching her with a hard look. An unreadable look. Even after all this time, he is something of a mystery to her. She's too tired of trying to figure him out to guess what's behind that expression now.

"Good luck," he says. "Be careful."

"I will."

"I mean it, Rey. Don't cut corners. Don't put yourself in risky circumstances. Be vigilant and cautious, and if it looks like the situation is going south, leave it. Come back and we'll find another way."

He's giving her an out. She doesn't want it.

"Don't think I can do it, huh?" she asks, more acid in her voice than she intends.

He sighs. "As it so happens I've gotten kind of used to having you around, so forgive me if I'm a little interested in your safe return."

She blinks, surprised by this. It's the closest thing to saying he cares that she's ever heard. She softens a little. "I promise to be safe."

He nods and opens her car door for her. "Call me if you need anything."

They both know she won't.

She tells them goodbye one more time and climbs in, shutting the door behind her. They don't wait to watch her go, walking back to the RV to no doubt have second breakfast. Rey sucks in a deep breath as she pulls out onto the road and starts heading for the highway. Time to see what this destiny business is all about.


	3. Chapter 3

chapter three: how to make a friend

* * *

Rey is comfortable being alone.

This long road trip doesn't phase her.

She can't remember how she ended up in that tiny Arizona town, exactly, but she remembers a maternal voice telling her she'd be right back — and then she never was. Somehow Rey's birth certificate ended up in state custody, and she was placed into the foster system when she was five. She doesn't remember much about that time, and it's probably a deliberate amnesia. Dark feelings swirl inside her when she thinks about those years. She does remember running away from her foster home when she was eight, and spent the next two years surviving by herself on stolen food and hiding in a junkyard.

Mando reminds her all the time that there's no logical way she should have survived those circumstances. She can't really explain it. She was driven by a savage, rebellious need to stay alive — so she did. She doesn't know what would have happened if a certain bounty hunter hadn't rolled into town in his warm, comfortable, well-stocked RV. Sneaking onto it was easy peasy. She stayed hidden for hours and hours, until eventually he discovered her long after they'd left Arizona.

But even after she'd planted herself in Mando's life, she'd mostly been alone. He wouldn't take her on his pickups every day, so she'd putter around his trailer, tinkering with things, messing with the engine. He didn't appreciate that very much, even though she always managed to put it back the way she found it. She knew how to entertain herself, to endure hours and hours of no one to talk to, to having nothing but her own thoughts and whatever her hands could do.

So Rey isn't bothered by the silence, even when she drives out of cell range and her music tries in vain to buffer the next song, only the noise of the road beneath her tires keeping her company.

And she _loves_ driving, so that part isn't hard either. The scenery is alternately boring and then interesting, so she occupies herself with imagining how the take-down of Han Solo might go. He's probably a crafty fellow to have eluded capture this long. It amuses her to think how she might outwit him.

Eventually she stops at her halfway point somewhere in Idaho, finding a cheap little motel where she can crash for the night. The room they give her is dingy and she'd never want to see a UV light inspection of the place, but it'll do. Rey isn't squeamish about these things. She's gotten herself to fall asleep in less sanitary conditions than this.

She strips the comforter off the one of the two queen beds and discards it, stretching out on the (hopefully) clean sheets, propping her arms up under her and digging out her phone. Cell reception is spotty out here. She tries to load a paid search site to see what else she can learn about Solo, but her loading bar never budgets past three-quarters and eventually it gives her a network error message. She lets the phone fall and flops her head down, sighing.

Her stomach aches. It's a combination of bad road snacks and genuine hunger. She saw a 24-hour trucker diner next to the motel when she pulled in. Maybe she should find some real food and then crash so she's well-rested for tomorrow.

She double checks that her room is indeed locked before she leaves, walking the short distance over to the diner.

It's almost midnight, so there are very few patrons. A couple truckers and a young family with overly tired children grouching about the food.

Rey snags a table by the window, leaning her head into it to gaze out into the opaque country darkness. She can't shake this feeling creeping over her skin that there is more to this gig than she expects. She's had feelings like this before — and a more superstitious person might call them premonitions. Mama Maz had been full of observations about Rey while they were waiting for Mando. She said Rey had _The Sight_, a rare and powerful gift that allows her to see glimpses of the future, and glimpses of a person's soul. Rey laughed it off at the time, and she still thinks its a bunch of hogwash. She _does_ get these tingly feelings sometimes, or strong suspicions, or insight into people she shouldn't have, but these things are easily dismissed. She only believes in what she can work on with her hands.

She tells herself this, but the feeling remains. The sense that everything in her life is about to change.

The waitress is heading her way when Rey spots movement outside. A woman has gotten out of the passenger side of a big rig stopped for fuel. The driver yells at her from the pump. She waves at him, pulling a duffel bag out of the cab, and heads towards the diner. The driver jams the nozzle into his gas tank and starts striding after her. His body language is aggressive. The girl notices his pursuit and breaks into a run.

Rey is on her feet before she is quite aware she's done it, anticipating as the woman wrenches the diner door open and stumbles in. The driver is already hard on her heels, barreling in after her.

"Where do you think you're going?" he snarls, trying to grab for her wrist.

She flits away from him, looking around wildly.

The waitress has gotten to Rey's table by now, but Rey isn't paying attention to her. She waves at the girl and conjures a huge smile.

"Hey!"

The other woman waves back and hurries over. The truck driver frowns at them.

Rey catches the woman in an embrace. "I was starting to worry you wouldn't make it. It's so late! Saved you a seat, though. Who's your friend?"

The woman is trembling, but she manages to fake a big smile when she pulls back from Rey. "Ah, not a friend, just a helpful stranger." She turns to the trucker. "Thanks again for the ride. I -really appreciate it."

The driver's frown hasn't faded, though he clearly looks more confused than suspicious. "Thought you said you were headed to Tacoma?"

"I am. My friend—"

"I'm Rey," Rey interrupts, extending her hand to the man cheerfully.

He ignores it.

The woman adapts quickly. "My friend _Rey_ texted me saying she was on her way home too, and when you said we needed to stop for gas I figured I'd find out how far along she was. We just got lucky, I guess, that our paths were crossing at the same place. I figured I'd save you the trouble and ride the rest of the way with her."

"Thanks again," Rey adds brightly. "You really saved the day."

The driver looks angry now, like maybe he knows he's being played, or maybe he's just furious his quarry got away. His fists ball at his side.

The waitress lifts her brow in his direction. "Are you staying to eat? Can I get you a table?"

"No," the driver snaps. He throws one more silent glare at the other woman before turning to head back out the door.

The three of them watch him stomp across the station back to his truck where he dumps the handle back on the pump and gets back in his rig.

The woman releases a huge breath of air, pushing her fingers against her temples and closing her eyes for a minute. "Thank you, God," she says so softly Rey almost misses it. Then her eyes open again and she gives Rey another hug. "And thank you so much. You might have saved my life."

Rey disentangles herself from the other woman's arms and motions to the seat across from her at the table. "You're welcome. I can recognize a bad situation when I see one. Sit with me, I'll buy you some dinner."

The waitress slides another menu down onto the table and leaves to give them some time to look it over, promising to bring some water in the meantime.

"I'm Jannah, by the way," the woman says shakily.

She looks to be in the mid-twenties, only a little older than Rey herself, with beautiful smooth umber skin and a sweet little gap between her two front teeth. Her hair clouds around her head, held back by a bandana. She's wearing big hoop earrings and a boho sweater which both belie her stressed-out expression.

"Nice to meet you, Jannah," says Rey, giving her a more genuine smile now.

"I'm sorry to involve you, I just had to get away from him."

"Hitchhiking is a risky business." Rey knows the dangers are not as rampant as people believe they are, but assholes still drive the roads, same as nice folks, and apparently Jannah found her way into the cab of one.

"I know, I know," Jannah laments. She swipes her eyes with the back of a hand. "I was desperate, and he was nice at first. He only started to get creepy and handsy there towards the end. I knew I had to get the hell out of there."

"Lucky he had to stop for gas, then."

Jannah nods. "I didn't have a plan. I don't know what would have happened if you hadn't intervened."

The waitress brings back some water and Jannah seizes hers, guzzling it like she hasn't had a drink for days.

Rey orders two hot chocolates for them as well. Chocolate is good for the soul, she knows, and it's way too late for coffee.

Jannah swipes a hand over her eyes and blinks back some sudden emotion. "Are you alone here?"

Rey nods. "On my way to Seattle, just taking a break for the night."

"Seattle, huh? I've heard it's gloomy because it rains so much."

Rey shrugs. "Sunny places can be gloomy too, depending on your circumstances."

Jannah agrees with that by the wide-eyed nod she gives, her gaze turning to study the pattern on the chipped laminate tabletop. "I know that all too well. Hey — listen — I know this is really forward and you only just finished helping me out, but do you think I could ride with you tomorrow? You don't have to take me as far as Seattle if you don't want to, just any big town or city will do."

Rey considers. She hadn't planned on company, but it isn't like this disrupts her routine. Besides, she isn't about to leave this other woman stranded here at this highway pitstop, not even really big enough to be a town. So she smiles again and nods.

"Sure, you can ride with me. I can take you to Seattle if you want. I don't plan on going by Tacoma, though."

"Oh, that's fine," Jannah hurries to explain. "I'm not going to Tacoma, really. I just said the same place the truck driver was going."

After that they order some food and fall easily into conversation. It's natural, like they've been friends before. Neither of them have family, really. Rey barely touches on Mando and Dyn, explaining them only as some guy who took her in when she was young, and another orphan. Jannah is a foster kid too, shuffled around the system over and over again until she finally aged out.

"So what are you running from now?" Rey asks, even though she knows it's definitely not her business.

But they've talked so easily this far, and Jannah doesn't flinch at the intrusive question. She looks at her plate and swirls her fork around the under-seasoned mashed potatoes.

"An abusive relationship," she says tiredly.

Rey waits, brow creasing in concern. The woman before her is beautiful, the sculpture of her arms suggests strength, and this brief conversation has revealed someone highly intelligent and kind. How does someone like that end up in an abusive relationship?

"I've been with her since I left my last foster home," Jannah explains. "She was completely strong and confident and ruthlessly ambitious, all the things I wanted to be, and I felt more powerful when I was with her. At first. I didn't see how disturbed she was because I was just lovesick and kind of high off finally taking charge of my own life. But I didn't really, I just let her take charge of it. Over time I started to see how incredibly controlling she was. I couldn't _do_ anything without consulting with her first. I couldn't make friends because she would get jealous of everyone. Everyone. I couldn't have female friends or male friends, friends my age or even old people at work. She isolated me so that nobody else could influence my life. Phas— that's what she wanted everyone to call her - she would gaslight me if I ever started to bring up objections to her treatment. And then it started getting worse."

Rey's stomach turns. "Physical?"

Jannah nodded. "I don't know, Rey, I think she's got some undiagnosed issues. Real, legitimate issues. She would never go to therapy and would fly into a rage if I ever suggested it, but she had a rough childhood too and I think it really messed her up. She didn't used to be like that, but there at the end...she threatened to kill me and herself if I ever left."

"But you left anyway," Rey observes. She has had to endure a lot of things in her life, but nothing like that, and she can't imagine the strength of will it takes to extricate oneself from such a web. She is in awe of the woman before her.

"I had to leave. When she said that...things had already escalated so much, I knew it would never get better again after a threat like that. So I'm going into hiding. I'll disappear. She's terrible with technology so I don't think she'll be able to track me down. Besides, I'm off social media forever anyway."

Rey knows it is easier to find people than Jannah believes, but it requires skiptracer skills that it sounded like this Phas person does not have.

"What will you do in Seattle?"

"I just finished a degree in social work," Jannah explains. "One of the few good things she gave me was helping me pay for school. I don't have any loan debt. I cant start fresh. I just want to help kids like us. A kind and understanding case worker might have made all the different for me growing up."

"That's the best goal I've ever heard," Rey says sincerely.

Jannah smiles at her plate. Rey smiles too, warm soft feelings for this girl nursed to life by this conversation. She's never really had a friend before, so this is new and different, but she likes the sensation.

"Come on," she says when the waitress brings the check back for Rey to sign and tip. "The room they gave me has two beds. You take the other and we'll leave when we wake up."

"Deal!" Jannah grins, and Rey decides that her gap gives that grin an adorable effect.

"What about you?" She asks as they walk back to the room. "We've thoroughly exhausted my life story. Why are you going to Seattle?"

"It's...well, it's not complicated, but it's an unusual answer," Rey says hesitantly, and then laughs. "You're probably gonna think I'm lying."

"Try me."

"I'm looking for someone. To arrest them."

Jannah's eyes widen and she pauses in her step. "Wait, you're a cop?"

"No, no. Not a cop. I'm a...well, it's called a _fugitive recovery agent_. Essentially, a bounty hunter."

Jannah _does_ laugh then, a surprised howl that makes Rey laugh too. "Nah, you're lying. That's not a real thing."

"It is," Rey insists. "We're hired by bail bond companies to track down people who skip bail."

They are back at the room now, so Rey lets them in and flicks on the light. Jannah sets down her bag, excuses herself, and heads straight for the bathroom. Rey kicks off her shoes and goes to the bed she already stripped down, letting herself fall onto it, momentarily closing her eyes. She didn't feel it before, but now the weariness of her travel is catching up to her.

Jannah emerges after a minute, wiping her hands on a towel. "Listen, I'm not done hearing about this bounty hunting nonsense you're trying to make up - oh, you're tired. You're not off the hook, but we can resume the conversation in the morning."

Rey waves gratefully at her. She rolls over and crawls up to the pillows. "Make yourself comfortable. Excuse me if I pass out. I either can't sleep at all or I sleep like the dead. Right now it looks like it'll be the latter."

Jannah nods. "Get your rest, it's still a long drive tomorrow. Will it bother you if I get ready for bed?"

"Definitely not. Do what you need to do." Rey yawns and clicks off the light nearest her bed. She vaguely listens to the sounds of Jannah winding down for the night — putting her hair up in a silky wrap, changing her clothes, brushing her teeth. Right. Teeth. Rey forgot. She's so tired, she can't summon the strength to do it now.

The noises are comforting, soothing that part of Rey's heart that hungers for people. It's nice to hear someone else living in the same space. As she drifts out, she pretends it's Mando getting ready for bed long after she and Dyn have already gone to sleep.

* * *

**A/N:** Don't worry, our favorite boi Ben will be coming in soon, we just have to set the stage for him.


	4. Chapter 4

chapter four: smugglers in the city

* * *

The rest of the drive is easy and quick. The hours fly by with someone to talk to. Jannah wants to know all about bounty hunting, and Rey explains it all to her. About bail skippers and their often defensive, highly aggressive family or friends trying to protect them from going back to jail. About the truly wild cases she's seen while accompanying Mando — like one girl who tried to pretend to be having a psychotic break and ran around buck naked. Jannah laughs for a long time at that one.

Jannah talks about her foster homes, about meeting Phas, about her hopes and dreams for the future. She is surprisingly resilient, Rey decides, for someone who has been through such a harrowing situation. Her optimism is contagious.

The friendship between them glows like a warmth in Rey's chest, natural and good and easy.

When they finally pull into the city, they head to the historic district and find a (relatively) cheap hotel where they book a room for the night. Nothing is actually that cheap this deep into the city, but Rey wants to be in the heart of things until she figures out where to locate Solo. Mando's RV would have made for a less expensive landing pad, but of course that isn't really an option this time. Maybe someday she'll get one of her own, if she finds a reason to leave Mando and Dyn. She likes the mobility - but this thought gives her a little flicker of uncertainty. Does she really want to keep doing this impermanence thing for the rest of her life?

"I need to go to the library," Jannah says after they're settled. "Can I borrow your phone to find the nearest one?"

Rey hands it over. Jannah ditched her own smart phone before she started this journey, using only a pre-paid burner for now to reduce the chance that Phas will find her. She says she doesn't really have a lot of others who might want to keep in contact with her anyway.

In the meantime Rey showers and puts her one set of clean clothes on. She washes the dirty ones in the sink and hangs them over the shower to dry. She doesn't plan on being here long enough to need more than the few items she brought, but the one item she must secure quickly is a waterproof coat. The rain drizzles lazily from a heavy gray sky, and it isn't _so_ bad — certainly warmer than the Colorado winter she's braced for — but the jacket she brought will quickly get damp and make her cold. Just walking from the car to their room was chilly enough, the wind blowing in off the Sound it set her teeth chattering.

When she emerges fromt he bathroom, Jannah gives her back her phone and reports that there is a library within walking distance.

"I can meet you there," Rey says. "I need to do a bit of research too. But first I need to find a better jacket."

Jannah looks out their window and nods in agreement. "Yeah. I should probably get one too. Maybe an umbrella as well."

They stop at a small, boho-themed thrift shop squeezed between a Nepalese restaurant and a convenience store. Jannah is in love, scouring the cramped racks for beautiful clothes while Rey wanders around in search of a jacket. She finds one eventually, a very long dark green one with a huge floppy cowl-style hood and deep pockets. The arms are fitted and the rest is big and flowy, which she appreciates because it will disguise her bulletproof vest when she's ready to make her move. The fabric seems water resistant enough. She likes the color. It reminds her of the forest. Nearly ten years since escaping the Arizona desert and she still can't get over how much she loves lush green trees. Mando teases her about it a lot. She doesn't mind.

Jannah has picked out a couple things for herself and a couple things she thinks would look good on Rey. They spend way too much time there, but Rey loves every second of it. She's never had this before. She's never gone shopping with another girl before. If she needed clothes, Mando gave her a little cash and dropped her off at a giant discount store. This is a whole different experience, trying on bold new things and letting her imagination run wild. Jannah's enthusiasm is catching, and she has a great sense of style. Everything she suggests looks amazing.

In the end they each buy a few too many things, new jackets and one umbrella included, and then they keep making their way towards the library. Rey knows it probably wasn't wise, her funds aren't limitless, but she feels too happy to care much about money just now.

Seattle is a much bigger city than Denver, and Rey is momentarily swept away in the enchantment of this cool urban vibe. The skyscrapers tower above her, the commuters and residents and tourists sweep around her, and once in a while she catches a glimpse of a post alley market teeming with activity. Excitement courses through her veins, electric and invigorating. That sense of anticipation she felt earlier grows, like anything could happen now and it wouldn't surprise her. The uncommitted rain mists against her face and makes her feel wildly alive.

She loves the rain.

The library is mostly empty when they enter, so they're careful not to exchange too many words and break the stillness of the place. They each obtain an access pass for the computers and settle down to their tasks. Jannah means to find a job, and Rey means to find Han Solo.

Mando has a laptop for these kinds of things, and someday Rey will be able to buy her own. Before now she hasn't really made it a priority. She saved up to buy her own car, and that gets her where she needs to go. Her phone is an adequate enough access to the internet for most of her needs. But if she's serious about being a full-fledged bounty hunter, she should probably get a laptop. Maybe she will with part of the bounty she gets from bringing in Solo.

Mando has the Tor browser for when he needs to conduct deep dive investigations to find someone, and Rey wishes she had access to that now. The dark web would certainly be able to point her in the direction of illegal goods being distributed in Seattle. But she can't get there from a public computer, so she has to settle for cruder methods.

Something in the file said Solo had been known to traffic in bootlegged electronics, so she starts there. For the next several hours she searches, waving Jannah goodbye when she announces she's off to try to secure a same-day interview and promising to meet back up at the hotel in the evening. Rey's body becomes stiff and sore sitting there so long, and twice she has to go back for a new access pass when hers expires, but eventually she makes some headway.

She needs to find a business called Millennium Motors. It claims to be a restoration and salvage garage, but from her research, Rey thinks it might be a shell business, owned by Han's closest friend and accomplice, Jesus Bacca. Rey figures that if Solo is anywhere in the city, he'll likely turn up there.

Fortunately it's not too far away — within a couple miles, so a walkable distance. Rey puts the address into her phone and heads out. She stops by the hotel room to put her vest on, tie her hair up into a messy bun, and load her pockets again. She's not planning on taking Solo in today, she merely wants to observe his routine, but if the opportunity arises, she won't miss it.

She hides it all under her huge new coat and draws the delightfully big hood up over her head.

Then she makes her way down to the waterfront, threading the clumps of tourists trying to find Pike's, and takes herself into the less congested areas of private, small-scale shipping. Here there are no kitschy restaurants on the wharf, just industrial workshops and boat repair slips.

Millenium Motors is here, and Rey pauses to briefly admire the view the two men have secured here with their waterfront shop. The Sound sprawls on the other side of the street, deep and wide, trafficked with ferries and commercial ships and private boats. Rey takes a moment of self-indulgence, standing there, leaning against the short fence preventing clumsy pedestrians from falling into the water. She closes her eyes and breathes deeply.

The first time she saw the ocean was when she was ten. Mando took them to California for a few years. She still remembers the overwhelming awe she felt, standing on the beach for the first time, her feet buried in warm sand while cold waves broke against themselves and spread thin out on the shore, almost kissing her skin with foam. The water went on and on, unbroken all the way to the horizon. She felt small next to such an expanse — and vulnerable too. But it wasn't the daunting kind of vulnerability that the desert had given her. This was a thrill of excitement, of breathless wonder.

This isn't the exact same feeling now, but it's close. The Sound doesn't run all the way to the horizon. It's a narrow corridor of ocean water, bracketed on both sides by thickly forested hills and mist-shrouded mountains. And there are islands in the Sound too, interrupting the view. Still, the smell of the salty water and the cry of seagulls takes her back, and her heart swells.

Rey is certain that she could never be tired of being near water.

A noise behind her draws her attention, and she turns to see an old 60's era VW Westfalia bus roll-up in front of Millennium Motors, engine cutting just before a man jumps out of the driver's seat.

Her brow ticks up and she blinks in surprise.

It's Han Solo himself. He dusts off his pants and strides confidently into the office, not even bothering to lock up his van behind him. Rey props an elbow on one of the posts behind her and watches, waiting for him to emerge again. She appraises the vehicle curiously in the meantime. It is not in the best shape, which is a shame because that split-window model is highly collectible and extremely valuable. Rust collects around the wheel wells and in the crevice of that iconic V-nose. The paint, once blue, it would seem, is faded into a sort of non-color in most spots, only retaining some hue in the places that don't often see sun.

Still, the engine sounded good, and if he and his partner own a chop shop they must know _something_ about cars.

Her fingers itch at the idea of getting her hands on a nice machine like that. She'd make it into something beautiful.

All is quiet for long enough that Rey decides to go over and investigate closer. She peeks into the windows. The car is cluttered, but not gross. It's less food trash and more _things_. Boxes of auto parts, a bag of charging cables, random odds and ends scatted over the seats and on the floor. There is a large taped up box on the passenger side of the front seat.

She hears shouting and skitters backwards quickly, taking refuge behind one of the dead husks of a car sitting in their lot, waiting to be scraped for parts.

Han emerges from the shop again, yelling at the man who comes out behind him.

"That's not what they said! And anyway, I can talk our way out of it, stop worrying so much, Chuy."

The second man is _enormous_. He must be almost seven feet tall, and built like a tank. He has a thick dark brown, almost black, beard and shaggy dark brown hair, beefy hairy arms and a broad chest. His skin is warm terra-cotta underneath all that hair.

Rey assumes this is Jesus Bacca. Mando is Latino too, and she's familiar with how these nicknames work. He also had an associate named Jesus, who he also called Chuy. They partnered together on jobs in California, before Rey was allowed to accompany him.

This giant Chuy grumbles something Rey doesn't catch.

"It'll be _fine_," Han insists, holding out his hands as if to prove his how unconcerned he is. "Just get the box, will you?"

Rey watches Chuy as he goes to the van and hauls out the taped box. He grunts at Han, who turns and starts to head around the side of the building. Rey follows at a discrete distance. They deposit the box on a trolly of other similarly sized parcels. Then Han fixes a cable company hat on his head and shrugs on a jacket with the same brand. He hands a set over to Chuy, who does the same.

Chuy takes hold of the trolly by the handle and pushes it out to the road. Han follows. And Rey follows too, further back so they don't detect her, tailing them as they make their way down the street and turn to go up the hill. It's a steep grade, but Chuy doesn't even break a sweat as he pushes the cart up the incline. A couple people who pass them don't even given them a second glance. They're blue collar maintenance workers. Nobody notices people like that, even when they're giant and imposing like Chuy.

They stop three fourths of the way up the hill, and Han fishes for keys in his pocket. There is a small door beside them, on the basement level of a building normally accessed at the top of the hill.

"I mean, he's twelve years old," Han is saying, his words echoing off the wall of the building now that he's facing the door, sliding the key into the handle. "Get him a video game or something."

Chuy's again mumbles, and this time Rey again fails to catch it.

"Yeah well, that's different. He was kind of a weird kid. He liked art, not video games," Han snorts.

They finally get the door open and go inside. Rey catches a fleeting glimpse of a — a tunnel? — before the door closes. It didn't look like a basement. It had that hemmed in, earth-and-brick look of an old tunnel with a string of lights running along the ceiling.

She waits for several seconds before going to test the door. It locked behind them, as she suspected.

There is a lot to consider here. She backs off and finishes climbing the hill, locating a little cafe where she orders a hot chocolate and munches on a croissant to help her think, keeping an eye on the street below from an advantageous window in case they should emerge.

She wants to get into the tunnel somehow, even though she can already see Mando's disapproving frown in her mind's eye if she were to tell him about it. He'd tell her it isn't smart. She doesn't know what is down there, how many accomplices they have, or all the entry and exit points. It isn't a good place to apprehend Solo, so she really should just forget it. Too many unknowns.

But she pulls up her phone anyway and googles _tunnels under Seattle._

The results astonish her. Apparently this underground system is a veritable labyrinth. She immediately books a tour for that evening with a company that offers tourists a chance to visit the buried city Seattle is built on top of. It won't lead her to Han's stash, or whatever he's doing in there, but maybe it would give her a better idea of what to expect.

The other, more important matter to consider is his partner.

Chuy is enormous. She'll be lucky enough if she can take down Han, should he decide to resist arrest, but there's no way in hell she can subdue that tank of a man. If he decides to defend his friend — and they almost always do — she's going to have trouble. A taser might take him down, but somehow she doubts it. A rubber bullet pistol probably won't phase him either. He strikes her as the kind of beefcake that can take quite a number of hits and keep on going. Maybe she can talk him down, but it's a risk she's not excited to take.

She's gonna have to get Han alone.

An hour later, he and Chuy emerge from the tunnel and push a now-empty cart back down to their shop. Rey tails them again, and for the rest of the day, until Han eventually hops in his Westfalia and heads off somewhere. Chuy closes up the shop and rides off on his Harley. Rey might have followed Han, but she left her car at the hotel.

She walks to the storefront of the tour business, and an hour later takes that tour of the underground. She learns a great deal, mostly confirming her suspicions that she should _not_ try to catch Han down there. Still, she has to kind of admire his audacity, using tunnels for the same purpose the gangsters of the 20's used them. Han's is an old profession, and he's sticking to the tradition of his craft. Well, bounty hunting is an old profession too, and Rey might be newer at hers than Han is, but she's determined to meet him on even footing.

She heads back to the hotel that night to find an excited Jannah.

"I did it!" She cries, her face exultant. "I can't believe it!"

"You got an interview?"

"I got the _job_!"

Rey's eyes widen. "The whole job?"

"I went down there and handed them my resume, said I was new to the city and asked if I could speak to the department chair about their goals. They gave me an interview on the spot and I walked out with the job! They must really be desperate!" Jannah laughs, bubbly and light.

"Or you must really be that great," Rey says with a huge grin. "Congratulations!"

"I have other news too." Jannah is practically effervescent with excitement. She bounces on her toes and grabs Rey's hands. "I think I found somewhere for us to live!"

"What?"

"I mean, I know you're here only temporarily, but they said that was fine!"

"Who is they?" Rey shakes her head, dizzied by this turn of events.

"After my interview I went to a sandwich shop to celebrate and get some lunch. I met this guy, we started talking. He was super nice. You know those people you just get a really good feeling about?"

"Yeah," says Rey.

"Well, he was one of those. Incredibly nice. Like, totally sweet. Before I knew it, we were telling each other our whole life stories."

Maybe Jannah just has that affect on people, Rey wonders. The same thing had happened the night before, with the two of them. Still, she's intrigued and keeps listening.

"He's from New York, no family either, like us. He lives with this married couple in this huge apartment — both the husband and the wife are totally loaded, apparently. They have a few rooms to spare. Finn, that's the guy's same, he is best buds with the husband, so they let him rent a room. He took me to meet them. Rey, they're _so_ nice."

Rey is laughing before Jannah even finishes. Except for the trucker, has Jannah meant anyone who isn't nice since she left her abusive ex?

"So they're gonna rent us the room?" she concludes from this story.

Jannah nods. "Yeah, they said I could rent it on a six month contract basis with the option to extend at the end, if we all still like each other, and you're welcome to stay there as long as you like."

Rey slides her hand around the back of her neck, wondering if she should listen to that inner voice of Mando telling her to run a background check on these people, make sure they know what they were getting into here. No, she decides. People are inherently good. She believes that. Bad apples exist, like that truck driver, but more good apples exist than the bad.

"Will you come with me tomorrow so I can introduce you?" Jannah asks.

"Sure," says Rey. "When are they off work?"

"They work remotely a lot, apparently," says Jannah. "Finn said they'd be there in the morning."

Rey nods. "Okay, we'll go first thing in the morning."

* * *

**A/N:** You guys are super kind. I love your reviews, they make me really excited to keep going.  
I may post the next chapter up later today if I can get it edited after work. We'll meet Ben in that one so I'm really impatient to get it posted for you folks. Plus this one is a lil' shorty chapter, so you deserve a little extra love. Watch for that one :D


	5. Chapter 5

chapter five: beware the stranger in the dark

* * *

Jannah is right. Poe and Zorri _are_ nice. They're charismatic and charming, and both so incredibly beautiful that Rey half-wonders if they're movie stars. Poe has dark curls and olive skin, a strong masculine profile. Zorri is elegant and feminine, with soft dark-gold curls and eyes that seem to know a secret before anyone else does. Their apartment certainly adds to the perception that they're famous. It's an airy, light-filled penthouse at the top of one of Seattle's newest complexes. It has five bedrooms, theirs, Finn's, the one they're renting out to Jannah and Rey, and two others they use as their offices.

"Isn't it beautiful?" Jannah says softly to Rey as they take a tour.

Rey nods wordlessly, trying to take everything it at once. She's never been anywhere as nice as this. It renders her intimidated and speechless that real people live this way.

Poe and Zorri breeze around like it's no big deal. Like living in a virtual palace in the sky isn't the most mind-boggling way to exist.

Jannah turns to them. "Is it rude of me to ask what you guys do to afford a place like this?"

Poe explains that they run an extremely successful outdoor outfitting company, competing with top brands like NorthFace and Patagonia. Zorri laughs and says they weren't always this _aboveboard_, and they used to be into sketchy stuff, but ever since they went legit they've been raking in the money.

"We don't usually take in complete strangers," she adds, "But Finn said he got a good vibe from you yesterday, and he told us a little about your situation. We'd love to help you out."

Poe nods. "It's a crazy brave thing you did, Jannah. If we can help you get back on your feet, we'd consider it an honor."

Jannah is grateful and a little emotional at this, and Rey takes over the conversation for a bit while her friend recovers.

Someone else arrives a half hour into their visit, and he and Poe greet each other with a hug and enthusiastic back-pats.

"Rey, this is Finn," Poe introduces. "Jannah, you already know him."

"Hi again," Jannah says warmly.

Finn grins a big, boyish grin. "Good to see you again. Glad you made it."

His skin is a shade deeper than Jannah's, his hair faded expertly on the side and his eyes bright with friendliness. He greets Rey with a grin that is just as big.

"Hi Rey, it's good to meet you too."

She shakes his hand, his smile coaxing one of her own. "This is a beautiful place."

"Yeah," his eyes widen. "Isn't it? Poe and Zorri have got good taste."

"Finn here is like my brother," Poe says. "He saved me from a bad situation and we've been best friends ever since."

Zorri shakes her head and rolls her green eyes good-naturedly. "They're like children together, these two. But you'll get used to them."

Rey smiles. She gets good vibes from all of them. She approves of Jannah's taste in people.

They drift over to the couch where they talk a little about Jannah's new job and what it will entail. She has to be there soon, they don't have a lot of time to hang around the apartment this morning. Poe says they will figure out furniture for her room, since they know she doesn't have any.

"So Jannah told me yesterday that you're a bounty hunter," Finn says conversationally to Rey when there is a lull in the conversation. "That's kind of badass."

"Except it sounds like she could use backup, because I think she's in over her head here," Jannah jumps in, referencing their conversation last night before they'd gone to sleep.

Rey had explained what she'd found out that day, and the existence of Chuy made Jannah get all nervous, telling Rey she should call it off, it's too risky, she can't mess around with a giant bodyguard like that. Rey didn't let it get to her. She reassured Jannah that she would be safe, it was all fine.

As she does now. "It's okay, I know what I'm doing."

Finn leans forward eagerly. "Do you need backup? I was at the police academy back home before I dropped out and moved here. I still know some things. I could totally be your backup."

Rey laughs. "No, thanks. I'm good. Why did you quit, though, if you're so eager?"

He makes a dismissive sound, sitting back in his seat. "We were gonna have to fill arrest and ticket quotas. That's not for me. I got into the University of Washington instead."

"What are you going to study?" Rey asks.

He shrugs. "I don't know yet. Hey, you're probably packing some heat, huh? What you got?"

His grin is mischievous. Rey grins. "Just rubbers. I'm not looking to kill anyone."

"Lame," sighs Finn.

"Smart," cuts in Zorri. "Friend of mine knows this lady who sued some bail bond agents for hurting her husband during recovery."

Rey nods. "It can happen. We prefer to use force as a last resort for that reason."

Poe sinks into a leather armchair, and Zorri perches herself on the arm of it. His hand slides around her waist. "So who are you here hunting?"

"He's a smuggler. I can't tell you his name in case you know him and warn him," she replies easily.

"I don't know any smugglers," Zorri says in a playful tone that indicates she plainly _does_ know smugglers. She glances at her husband. "Do you?"

Poe grins and shakes his head. "We don't affiliate with those types...anymore."

Jannah motions to Rey, who gives her a nod. She stands up with an apologetic look. "We really gotta run if I'm gonna make it to work on time."

"We can bring our things over later today," Rey adds.

Poe nods. "I'll draw up a contract for you, Jannah. Rey, just don't be a butthole and we won't make you sign anything, since you'll only be here for a few days."

Rey laughs. "Deal."

"Are you gonna try to catch your guy today?" Finn asks.

Jannah looks at her, brow creasing with worry.

Rey shrugs. "Probably not, but I always watch for an opening."

"Don't be offended, but I hope you don't, because I still have all kinds of questions," he says.

She grins. "I'll tell you whatever you want to know if I come back empty-handed. Actually, if I'm not empty-handed I won't come back at all, I'll just hit the road, in which case, it was nice meeting all of you."

Zorri smiles and gives her a light handshake. "It was nice meeting you too. I hope we'll see you again tonight."

Poe and Finn wave from their seats. They say goodbye to Jannah next and then the two women are out the door. They go back by the hotel and check out, putting their things in Rey's car. Then she drives Jannah to work. Jannah hesitates getting out right away, though. She gives Rey a pained look.

"You promise to be careful, right? Because you may not think it's a big deal but you're my first friend in this new life and I'm kind of invested in your wellbeing now, got it?"

Rey nods, giving her a reassuring smile. "You be careful too. I remember what some of those foster home situations are like."

"Yeah," Jannah says gravely. "Me too. I'll be safe, and you'll be safe, and we'll see each other tonight, yeah?"

"Yeah," Rey promises.

Finally assuaged, Jannah gets out and heads into work.

It's nice to have someone care about her wellbeing, Rey muses as she pulls away. Nice, but also complicated.

Time for a little more information-gathering. Back to the chop-shop then. She manages to snag a parking spot on the curb only a block away and is grateful she doesn't have to pay for a parking structure. Besides, if she does manage to nab Solo today, she needs to be able to access her car quickly.

She monitors Chuy and Han from a distance for several hours, watching their comings and goings, noting how they go everywhere together. Late in the evening, just before she knows they will leave for the night, she decides to investigate closer. They're both inside the garage, so she isn't shy about approaching the Westfalia. She pokes around, investigating the rust on the wheel well, rubbing her thumb against the dingy little VW badge on the nose. It's a really cute car, she can't deny. Her imagination starts to run away with her, on how convenient it would be to have a van like this to turn into her own miniature camper. Then she wouldn't have to get hotel rooms if she had to chase a skip across state lines. But then, how would she transport them? She wouldn't want any angry fugitive banging around her living space.

She's amusing herself with the idea of a jailed trailer to pull behind this imaginary van when the door to the shop opens and Han Solo himself steps out. She can feel his gaze watching her, but it doesn't interrupt her examination of his van. She's not trying to hide today.

"Pretty little car, isn't she?" he remarks, leaning against the wall of the shop and folding his arms. He looks supremely comfortable.

Rey glances at him, shrugging. "I mean, she could be, if she had a better owner."

Han expelled a short, gruff laugh. "Don't kid yourself, kid, she's too much machine for you to handle."

"Doubt it," Rey retorts, inspecting the rust on the joins where the mirrors meet the body. "What'd you do, put a new Soob engine in her?"

A beat, and then Han's brow furrows. "Lucky guess."

Rey laughs. "Luck has nothing to do with it, old timer. That's just standard now for anyone looking to give these buses a little more juice."

"Hey, who you calling old, kiddo?" Han growls, but there is amusement in it. He finally comes down the steps and stuffs his hands in his pockets, giving her a chin thrust. "And anyway how do you know about these ancient relics? You some kinda hipster, or whatever they're called these days? Those kids who are ironically into old things."

Rey grins. "Definitely not a hipster. I'm a mechanic with a fine appreciation for the classics."

Hearing it aloud, her own answer gives her pause. She's not really a mechanic. She quit the auto shop. And she isn't supposed to lie about her purpose — she's supposed to identify herself as fugitive recovery and tell Han what this visit is about. But she's not ready to arrest him yet. Chuy is right inside, she can hear him belting along to some Juanes song over the sound of a table saw. He's so loud and distracted she might be able to snatch Han without his notice, but the thought still makes her uneasy.

Han smirks, leaning against his car. "Fine appreciation for the classics. Uh-huh. What do you drive?"

"Nothing exciting," she laments. "It's a Daihatsu Rocky."

Han visibly winces. "Oof. Are those things still street legal?"

Something in Rey's chest warms at this interaction, and she finds her grin growing. "It's a piece of work, for sure, but it's all I could afford. I keep it running. Someday I'll get myself something with a real story."

Han's eyes glitter with amusement. "You know, somehow I believe you."

"You're not selling this one, are you?" She cocks her head at the Westfalia.

Han laughs. "Not for all the money in the world."

"Then you really should take better care of her. The rust alone is gonna be the killing blow."

Han pats the car affectionately. "Ah, don't worry about her. She's a tough old bird." He considers her for a second, then stands up straighter. "Hey, c'mere for a second."

He motions for her to follow, and she does. They hop up the steps and enter the garage. Chuy is still singing, even though his saw is off and he's currently testing different sized screws to see which one he wants. Han shuts off the radio and Chuy's deep voice boldly delivers half of a refrain which cuts off the moment he realizes he's singing alone. He looks up, a deep frown settling in his lush beard.

"What did you do?" He demands of Han. "And why did you do it?"

Han motions to Rey. "We have a guest, I didn't think it would be polite to subject her to your warbling."

Chuy straightens, wiping his greasy hands on a greasy cloth. He comes over and bends down to take a look at her. "This the kid poking around your van yesterday?"

"Yeah. Turns out she's an admirer."

"Of us?"

"Of the bird," Han laughs.

Rey extends her hand, giving Chuy a sunny smile. "Hi, I'm Rey."

He takes it. His entire hand engulfs hers as if she were a small child. "It is nice to meet you, Rey. My friends call me Chuy."

"And I'm Han," says Han. "Sorry I didn't introduce myself already. Sometimes my manners are a little rusty."

"Like your van," Rey teases.

Han laughs, Chewie laughs, and the room feels like its bathed in sunlight. There's something in Han's grin that makes Rey feel excited and childlike inside, like she's been waiting all her life to get that same smile from Mando, and never has.

It's probably not a good thought to dwell on, given her actual purpose in contacting Han. She shouldn't try to make more of him than what he is — a bounty to be hunted.

"Rey here is a mechanic," Han explains to Chuy. "She seems to know her stuff."

Chuy motions around at the metal clutter filling the shop. "Did you come to apply for a job?"

Warmth rises Rey's cheeks and she shakes her head. "No. I — I already have a job. I just liked the bus and needed to come back to take a closer look."

"Too bad," says Han. "We could use the help."

"You don't even know me. Why would you hire me?"

"I got a hunch about you." Han shrugs. "If you can appreciate my van, you're our kind of person."

This makes Rey's stomach drop with guilt even as something else inside her clings to the words like water in the desert. She should go before either of them is any nicer to her. She is lying to them both, and the disappointment he'll feel at the reveal of her betrayal will be her fault. She backs up towards the door.

"I wish I could work here. You don't know how bad. But…like I said, I have a job. And…I gotta follow through. You know?" She's stumbling over her excuse, surprised at how a tone of apology tries to crowd the words as she finds them. "Anyway, I should go."

Han gives her a crooked half-smile. "Sure, kiddo, don't worry about it. Come by whenever you want to take a look at the bird. Who knows, maybe one of these days I'll let you take her for a test drive."

Rey's eyes light up momentarily, but she immediately tamps down that flare of hope. There won't be _one of those_ days. Because Han will be in jail. Because Rey is going to arrest him.

She musters a smile and gives Chuy a little wave. "It was great to meet you, Chuy. And you, Han. Thanks for letting me take a look. I'll be back, I promise."

Han nods and Chuy waves back, and Rey escapes out the door once again. Outside she starts sucking air like it's the antidote to whatever spell they put her under.

She starts to walk, her mind clearing. Han exudes paternal affection, that is the problem. Everything about him is the warm glow of what she imagines having a father would feel like. It is intoxicating. Something she has hungered for all her life. Han's energy drew her in and bewitched her. She'd have to be careful, she warns herself. Griff said he was charismatic and wiley. He might be able to use that very same fatherly charm to persuade her into letting him go.

And Chuy, though extremely friendly, did not at all strike her as a harmless giant today. He looked like he could tear someone's arms off.

Rey has walked back to the entrance of the tunnel they visited yesterday. She checks behind her — no one is there. She doesn't know if Han and Chuy will be coming this way at all, so she needs to be quick. She examines the building and the door, and tests it again.

This time, it isn't locked.

This time, it swings open.

Rey stares, heart accelerating a little faster. The tunnel is an access point to one of Seattle's old city streets and one-time underground market. From the tour she took, she knows there are many of these tunnels, and that bootleggers and mobsters in the 20's found ways to connect some of these tunnels during prohibition. She shouldn't go in — it's dangerous and stupid. She could get lost, or trapped, or worse, found out.

But she can't help herself.

She steps into the dimly lit gloom of the tunnel.

Possibly this is the dumbest thing she's ever done. Actually, she's certain it is. But Rey has this tingling feeling in her fingers the she's onto something here. It's like a little bird is fluttering around her chest, the same way it felt when she snuck into Mando's RV and waited for him to take them far away from that little town. Like this decision, however risky, is the right one.

The tunnel opens into an older, wider passageway. This one is crossed with heavy I-beams and old wooden supports. A cracked wooden walkway composes the floor. There are archways and bricked off thresholds, the vestiges of an old market long forgotten. She wanders deeper into it, following the least dusty trail, until eventually she comes to a room stuffed with boxes like the ones Han and Chuy brought the day before.

She runs to one of them and pulls it open. New electronics, still in their packaging, still bundled together in cellophane. There are Empire branded devices and SI branded devices alike. All the latest, shiniest gadgets. She goes to another box to see what's inside it when a sudden chill sweeps over her and her hands freeze over the cardboard. Everything inside her stills.

She isn't alone here.

In a flash she has her taser drawn, whirling and pointing it directly at the person who had materialized behind her.

Her breath catches in her throat.

It isn't Han, or Chuy. It's a much younger man - tall, but not lanky. The black rain coat he is wearing seems to disguise the broad, built frame of his chest, but his presence in this passage is so imposing that Rey doesn't mistake how strong he looks. His thick black hair is wavy and well-groomed, if a little long for the professional business-man vibe he's got going on with his nice pants and nicer shoes. He is gorgeous, and absolutely terrifying.

His pitch-dark eyes reflect the weak yellow light of the incandescent bulbs strewn through the tunnel, and they hold nothing but malice for her.

"Don't—" she starts, her voice catching on the word before she finds the commanding presence she needs. "Don't take another step or I'll tase you, I swear to God."

The man's eyes narrow. "Who are you?"

"My name is Rey," she answers carefully and clearly. "Who are you?"

"What are you doing here?"

"What are _you_ doing here?" she demands.

"I followed you."

Damn it. Rey doesn't have time to kick herself now, she'll have to do it later. She hasn't been as careful as she thought. But then, she wasn't watching for young men in fancy raincoats, she was watching for Han or Chuy. What did this creep want with her?

"Why?" she asks sharply.

He takes another step towards her, and his presence looms even larger. Her hand tightens around her taser but she doesn't fire yet, and she can't explain it.

"You've been following my father since yesterday," he says coolly. "What are you, some kind of P.I.?"

"How do you—" she catches herself, surprise launching another realization in the midst of her question. "Your father?"

He steps towards her again. Her back bumps up against the wall, but still she doesn't fire the damn taser. Why doesn't she light him up already? He's close enough now that one reach with those long arms of his and he could get to her. She's in real danger, but she is frozen. Or mesmerized. Or...something.

"My father, yes. Han Solo," he confirms. "I can't have you tailing him."

"How did you know I was—"

"Because I've been tailing him too. Keeping tabs. You followed him around yesterday and you were at his shop again today. But you still haven't answer my question. What do you want from him?"

"Stop," Rey snaps as he advances closer again. "Stop moving."

"Or what? You'll use this?" Before she can blink he snatches the taser right out of her hand.

She gasps, her mouth immediately desert-dry. But he doesn't turn it on her, letting it drop to the ground instead and nudging it away with his foot.

"You don't need that."

Her hand twitches, trying to remember if she put her pepper spray on the left or the right.

"Don't be afraid. I'm not going to hurt you," he says, soft and low, and she absolutely does not believe him. "I just need to know what you want with him."

"I—" Rey can't remember how to speak. The danger she's in has paralyzed her. She hates herself for it, but she doesn't know how to break this spell. Her heart is beating _so_ hard in her chest, and she feels trapped by those inky dark eyes glaring daggers at her.

In another flash of movement so quick she almost misses it, his hand flicks out and slides the buttons of her jacket through their loops, smooth as butter. Her jacket falls open to reveal the bulletproof vest underneath. He nods, as if confirming his suspicion, his eyes narrowing as he read the words.

Finally he takes a step back, and there is more ice in his voice than before. "Fugitive recovery. So, he's skipped bail again, has he?"

"Yes," Rey fires back, finally finding her footing again at the reminder of who she was. She's not some inexperienced child in the face of a predator. She has taken out thugs before - she can do it again now. She straightens, trying to be as imposing as possible herself. "Or, at least, he's about to. His bail has been revoked. I'm taking him with me back to Colorado."

The man lifts a single skeptical brow, dry amusement playing with his full lips. "You?"

"Yes, me." A flare of petulance makes Rey hiss the words.

"You're tiny."

"People underestimate me," she says, and her confidence surges. "It's always their downfall."

She steps towards him this time.

He smirks, and she can see it — that glimpse of his father. She couldn't find any resemblance between them before, but its unmistakable in that expression. "No. I don't think so. You can't be very good at your job."

"I am."

This a bit of a generous assessment, perhaps, considering this is her first real assignment where she's not tailing Mando. But it doesn't matter.

"You need to forget this job," he says icily. "My father is a criminal, yes, but I won't let you take him."

"You know I can arrest you for that, right?" She doesn't look at it directly, but locates the taser out of the corner of her eye. If she moves quickly enough, she could get to it and get him on the ground before he has a chance to react. A few prongs in the chest and he'll be wetting himself like everyone else.

"You could try," he says, and there's so much arrogance in it she wants to punch him in that distracting mouth.

"I've taken out perps bigger than you, string bean," she growls.

That smirk again. "I doubt it."

Okay, so he called her bluff. She hasn't. She's talked down bigger skips than him, but Mando is the one to actually fell them if they get aggressive. But this only fuels her annoyance.

"You could be charged with aiding and abetting."

"I have very good attorneys. I'm not afraid of a scrawny little bounty hunter."

Ugh. Attorneys. Rey needs to proceed carefully now, irritating as it is. Many a bail bond agent's whole life has been ruined by an angry family member with lawyers.

"Look, I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt here. I'm sure you're just a dutiful son looking out for his great father," she says, "But I'm not just gonna let him skip bail because some asshole corners me in a tunnel and gets handsy."

Something about what she says catches the man off guard. She sees a flicker in his face — something wavering there. He frowns and his eyes are still hard, but for once he seem to have an immediate reply.

She snatches her taser back up again and points it at him. This time she will not hesitate to use it.

Maybe he knows it too because he doesn't make a move towards her, even as she carefully edges her way back in the direction she came from.

He watches her, and before she can leave he says quietly, "He isn't, you know."

And even though it's stupid to linger even a single second longer than she has to, Rey pauses. "He isn't what?"

"He isn't a great father. He's not even a good father."

There are ringing notes of bitterness in those words and Rey feels them reverberate down into the very heart of her. They ring with accusation, and Mando's memory is caught in the flare.

She turns and gets out of there as quickly as she can.

* * *

She is admittedly rattled that evening when she makes her way back to Poe and Zorri's apartment, her head in a daze. She was in such a dangerous situation, and she'd never felt so powerless. Not ever. Not even when she was starving, because then at least she could control her own actions in the face of certain death.

But that...that encounter. She froze. She could only stare into those onyx eyes and feel his imposing presence all around her. When had she become so weak?

And who the hell is he?

And why did that tiny flash of vulnerability in his face burrow so very deep into her psyche?

Ugh. She needs to figure this out. Han's file didn't mention a son, but she's going to find out who he is anyway, because she _will_ be fulfilling her mandate, especially now after that menacing confrontation.

Zorri and Jannah are home when Rey arrives. Jannah greets her with enormous relief.

"Is it selfish that I'm happy you didn't succeed today? Because I am," says Jannah.

Despite the lingering feelings of fear coursing through her veins, Rey manages to produce a convincing laugh. "I didn't even almost succeed. I talked to him, though, and his partner. Also apparently he had a son."

Zorri is perched like a bird on one of the barstools at her kitchen island. She cocks her head and looks at Rey curiously. "You're gonna take a dad away from his little dude, and that's okay with you?"

"No, no, no. He is not little," Rey replies, thinking of his broad chest and huge, scary-nimble hands. "He's probably in his late twenties. And anyway, I'm not taking him away, he's the one who keeps insisting on jumping bail wherever he goes."

Zorri turns now, fully interested. "Oh, okay! Go back to the part about the son. Is he part of his dad's business?"

"I don't know." It's a good question. He knew about the tunnel, but he'd also admitted his father is a criminal. "I...don't think so."

"You talked to this guy?" Jannah asks.

Rey nods. "He uh...yeah. I ran into him after I left his dad's business. He figured out what I am. Sounds like he's pretty familiar with his dad getting in trouble. It wasn't a surprise to him."

She's not about to tell them that she was cornered in an underground smuggler's den by this frightening stranger who seemed to wield some otherworldly hold over her.

Jannah's eyes widen. "He figured you out? What did he do? Did he get mad?"

"Not — not mad, really, but he did tell me to go home and forget him. He also said he didn't think I could do it, physically. Like I was too small to actually gain an advantage over H-his dad."

Zorri makes a scoffing sound from her perch. "Well now you gotta follow through, or else you'll let that arrogant prick think he's won."

This draws a small grin from Rey, who nods once. "My thoughts exactly."

Jannah frowns. "Except now you know that your mark has got _two_ people looking out for him."

"I can handle it," Rey assures her. She smiles and grabs Jannah's hand. "Tell me about your first day."

There isn't much to tell, Jannah admits. She had to go in to fill out a bunch of paperwork and authorize a background check.

Still, she finds things to talk about and the tightness in Rey's chest that has been a vice around her lungs since she got out of that tunnel finally begins to ease.

Poe and Finn return that night with two twin beds to put in the room Jannah and Rey will be using. Rey helps Finn build them while they others make dinner. They all sit around and talk late into the night, and when everyone finally goes to bed, Rey has a moment to run a search.

Han Solo has a son.

There's only one other Solo in the Seattle area — it's not a common last name, she's surprised to discover. There is a listing for a _Ben Solo_, aged twenty-nine. That seems about right. She checks and doesn't find any social media presence for him, until she discovers a LinkedIn hit and sees the face of the man who accosted her in the tunnel staring back at her from his profile picture.

She sets her phone down for a minute, blinking at the wall a few times to clear the image from her mind, and then checks it again.

Yep, he is beautiful.

His angular face, his lush dark waves, his plump lips and cosmic dark eyes. He is way less scary in his profile picture than he was in the tunnel. On the surface, this picture is neutral and professional. He isn't smiling, though, and there's a tension in his brow, a firmness to his mouth that Rey interprets as someone either deeply serious, or deeply unhappy.

Tearing her eyes away from the picture, she checks his info. He works for Empire Analytics, and this surprises her. Empire is one of the biggest tech giants in the entire world. They produce cellphones and computers and wearable personal tech, hugely popular and hugely profitable. They've faced a lot of public backlash for exploiting privacy loopholes, overworking their employees, and selling user data, but they continue to dominate despite the bad public image.

Ben Solo is listed as top level management, just under executive status, which seems so bizarre to Rey. How did the son of a smuggler end up all the way at the top of one of the biggest tech companies in the world? And did he know his dad was smuggling Empire's own products?

There's not much more she can find out about Ben at the moment, and it yields absolutely no information about his family, so she stops trying.

Griff said Han was married, but there are no other Solo's she can find, and Ben doesn't have any family associates on LinkedIn, so she can't immediately discover the identity of his mother.

But at least the has a name to put to the creature in the tunnel. Ben Solo.

She tests out the syllables, silently shaping them on the dark so as not to disturb Jannah. She says them and envisions the promise she makes as she names him, the promise that she _will_ follow through with her mandate, and nothing he can do will scare her off.


	6. Chapter 6

chapter six: duplicity in double

* * *

Rey should probably figure out where Han lives.

She decides this a few days later as she sits on a pier kitty-corner from Millennium Motor and watches Han arrive again late in the morning. Chuy is again already there. They never arrive together or leave together, so Rey doesn't believe they are roommates. They take different directions when they leave, too. If he's not rooming with Chuy, Rey can't find any evidence that Han has anyone else meaningful in his life. If he's estranged from his family, he almost certainly lives alone.

Unless he has a girlfriend, but Rey doubts it. He is charismatic enough, certainly, but after only a few days observing him she doesn't know when he'd have time to devote to a partner. He is busy, running from the shop to the smuggling tunnel, sometimes to a little boat in an obscure industrial marina, to a Chinese restaurant, and to just about every random place a person can think of. Rey gets a lot of walking and driving in trying to tail him.

She's always too worn out to follow him when he leaves for the night, which is probably a huge mistake on her part. He would be easiest to catch alone at home when he's least expecting a confrontation. So today she won't run herself ragged following him everywhere. She'll sit and watch the shop and when he's ready to leave for the night, that's when she'll move.

A seagull perches next to her, eyeing the bagel she's mostly eaten. She shoos it away, but it floats back down beside her again the moment her attention is back on the shop.

She's about to really get after it, wave her arms and yell like a lunatic, when something catches her eye instead.

A sleek black sedan is sitting surreptitiously at an empty pier a block down the road, an unmistakable trident badge on its mean grill. She can't _exactly_ make out the driver at this distance, only that there is one, but she has a pretty good guess of who it is anyway. Someone is watching her watch the chop shop.

Seizing the opportunity at her distraction, the seagull roughly plucks the rest of the bagel out of her hands and bursts off in a flurry of feathers. She watches it go but doesn't really comprehend it, too busy thinking instead about the wraith in the tunnel and how he said he couldn't _let her _arrest his father.

Petulance flares in her chest, white hot and defiant, and she stands, shoving the remaining trash from her now-stolen food into one of her pockets. She fully faces the car, giving it a little wave before turning and marching directly to Millennium Motors.

She _wants_ Ben to see her interacting with his father. She wants him to be very nervous.

The door to the shop is propped open with a rock. Rey pulls it the rest of the way open and strides comfortably inside.

Neither of the business partners are at the front desk, but she can see them a couple yards away in the garage, busy taking the nose off an old Buick with an acetylene torch. Both their faces are obscured in welding masks and the roar of the torch drowns out any sound.

Rey skims past the desk and enters the garage. She finds a work table and hoists herself onto it, sitting comfortably, legs swinging, while she waits for them to finish. She finds a nut and bolt to play with, swirling it around the threads, imagining what Ben's reaction might be right now.

Eventually, Chuy notices her and shouts something to Han above the noise. Then the torch goes silent and Han lifts his mask long enough to shout.

"Heya, kiddo. Wanna give us a hand?"

Rey hops off the table and joins them. Chuy hands her a welder's mask and some gloves, then turns back to the car. He's cutting through the roof supports while Han works on the other side and slices through the floor. Rey goes to Han's side. He hands her the torch to finish while he inserts some supports under the part of the car that's about to separate.

Rey flicks on the flame, a roaring jet of fire shooting from the thin metal nozzle. She directs it to the glowing line Han was carving through the steel floor of the car and continues tracing it to the opposite edge. On the other side above her, sparks shower from Chuy's work, bathing everyone in a blinding glow.

A moment later and the car separates, Chuy pushing the roof and cab backwards and away while Han stabilizes the nose and dashboard area.

When it's over, they all take off their masks and Han is grinning.

"Thanks for stepping in. Made things a whole lot easier. You change your mind about coming to work for us?"

"No," Rey says, relishing the smell of burning steel and the feeling of using her hands for something useful again. "I came to take care of your Westie. I haven't been able to sleep well or focus on my job, thinking about her rusting away. You got a wire brush around here? I'll treat her ugly spots and get her glowing again."

Han chuckles. "Hey, Chuy, looks like I got my own personal grease monkey here."

Chuy's laugh is a booming thing, almost more animal than human. It makes Rey laugh too, delighted and genuine.

Han walks over to a giant tower of drawers, pulling one out, rifling around in disorganized hardware, and emerging with a wire brush. He put it into Rey's hand.

"Alright then. Go to town, if you want."

She grins and practically flies back outside, surprised at her own eagerness. This was just supposed to be an excuse for getting close to Han again, and mostly to annoy the bejeezus out of his son, but she's actually looking forward to the work.

Outside, she checks to see if the black sedan is still here. It is.

Crouching down next to the van, she turns her attention to the wheel well and lets her fingers run along the spots of rust. Luckily it's just scale, at least in this section, so there is something she can do about it.

She settles on the ground and sets to her task, scrubbing the area, grinding away the oxidation.

After some fifteen minutes, or maybe half an hour, she isn't sure, Han comes outside to watch her. He's chewing on a long piece of red licorice, amusement twinkling in those eyes of his.

"Settle a bet between me and Chuy, Rey. Where are you from in England? Your accent is kinda different, and we can't agree on how it got that way."

She pauses in her work, her gaze flicking to him briefly before she looks away again. "I uh...I don't actually know where I'm from."

"What does that mean? How do you not know?"

"I was put into the foster system in Arizona when I was pretty young," she says, allowing him this grain of truth. "Maybe my parents were from England. Somehow I got this accent, but I have no idea. My — the guardian that I ended up with, we moved around a lot for his job. So I'm kind of from everywhere, I guess."

Han works his licorice and studies her. She starts scrubbing the rust again, unsure what else she should say about it.

"Yeah," Han finally says. "I get that."

Rey looks at him again, observing the lines around his eyes. She decides to hazard a bolder question. "What about you? Do you have a family? Or just Chuy?"

A soft, gruff, grunt of a laugh escapes him. "That's a long story, kiddo, but yeah. I got a family."

"Kids?" She lets her eyes widen curiously, even though she knows the answer — or at least, part of the answer.

Han nods. "One kid. A son. His name is Ben. He's..." he shakes his head. "He's nothing like you and me."

_He isn't a great father. He isn't even a good father._

Ben's words surface in her mind, soft and damning. What is it? What is this thing she can sense lurking under the words Han isn't saying, and under the accusation Ben made? What it the dynamic here between father and son? Rey feels like she has glimpsed a few lines from a thick book, and she itches to know more.

"Where is he now?" She asks.

"Working for a big deal company. Real important. He's got degrees — a couple of them. I guess you could say he made something of his life, a lot more than I ever did."

"You don't sound proud of that," she observes.

Han shrugs and pulls off another bite of licorice. "The work he's doing now isn't really something to be proud of. And I oughta know, my own work isn't always something to be proud of. Least not to most people."

Rey tingles with understanding, with that strange insight that often comes when she's speaking to others, giving her a glimpse of knowledge she shouldn't have. And she speaks it, knowing even as she forms the words that it is true.

"You haven't heard from him in years."

Han rubs the back of his neck and the stubble around his chin. "Yeah well...I've been out of the country off and on...but yeah. It's been a long time."

Rey glimpses shame there. Han feels responsibility in his estrangement from his son. This she does not observe out loud. Some things, she suspects, are too personal to be made public by some weird girl who likes his van.

"Does he at least talk to his mother?" She asks instead, trying to keep her voice light and conversational, instead of desperately interested. "Or is this guy just a big asshole to everyone?"

That makes Han laugh. "You're not too far off, actually. And as far as I know, he doesn't talk to her either."

Possibly this is the right opening for her to ask if Han lives alone, since he has admitted to having limited contact with his ex. But Rey hesitates. She stares at the body of the car and and scrubs orange dust away and wonders why she's dragging this out.

Chuy yells something from inside. Han heads back in to help him out, and Rey is again left to her own thoughts. She glances behind her, down the street. The black sedan is gone.

She spends the entire afternoon at the auto shop, working on the Westfalia. She buffs down most of the rusty spots — one of the sections by the back bumper will need to be replaced completely, the rust has eaten all the way through, but by early evening she is satisfied with her work. Her insides feel all glowy and happy, both from good company and good progress. Her head is faraway from her troubles, instead full of imagined possibilities for how this van might look all fixed up.

"You got primer?" She asks Han when he comes out to check on her again.

He shakes his head. "Nope. Not really what we do here."

"Get some primer and I'll come back on my next free day to apply it," she says, handing him the wire brush and dusting off her hands. "Thanks for letting me hang out again."

"Any time," he says. Then he gives her a smirk. "Hey, has anyone told you you're kind of a weird kid?"

She smiles slowly. There is mischief, not insult in his face. "What could you possibly mean?"

"I mean, don't get me wrong, it's a good weird. But you choose to spend your day off from your work as a mechanic to be here, working?"

"This is a labor of love," she says, patting the car. "If you took better care of her, I wouldn't have to."

Han chuckles. "Touché."

She knows he'll be heading out soon, and she still needs to tail him to find out where he lives, so she has to get far enough away that he thinks she's gone for good. "Well then, see you tomorrow."

He waves and is heading back into the shop when another car pulls up and a man around Han's own age gets out. Han wanders over to greet his visitor. Rey pauses for just a moment to take in the strangeness of a Tesla in the parking lot of a chop shop, but then Han's other activities are probably the reason for this particular visit.

She makes her way down the block, towards where she has hidden her car. She probably shouldn't have told Han what she drives, she realizes. Her Rocky is old and bright blue and doesn't blend well with all the other nondescripts on the road. She'll have to keep a generous distance between them. Luckily his own vehicle doesn't easily blend in either.

Before she can reach it, however, a figure steps out of an alley between two warehouses and cuts off her path.

She grabs instinctively for her pepper spray — if she can't bring herself to tase his beautiful face, she will at least give him something to cry about.

But his hand leaps out and intercepts hers with a touch that isn't as aggressive as she expects. He's holding her wrist, but not tightly. His hand is so large it wraps halfway down her forearm. It is hot against her skin. And damn, he is fast. Once again, she didn't even see it coming. This is a pattern she doesn't like, this never anticipating what he's about to do until he's done it already. It has to change.

"Don't," he says, his voice hard. "I'm not going to hurt you."

He said that before, and she didn't believe him. This time, for some reason, she does. She yanks out of his grasp, but doesn't go for the spray again.

"Isn't your job something important?" she asks, taking a step back from him. "Too important to spend your time stalking me all afternoon, surely."

His eyes narrow. "Why are you getting close to him? Why haven't you just arrested him already?"

"Why haven't you told him who I am yet?" she fires back. Her brow lifts tauntingly. "Or would that require you actually speak to the man?"

His jaw tightens and a hint of annoyance flashes over his features. "I see."

"What do you see?"

"You think you do, but you don't know anything about my family."

"You're right, but I don't need to know much to see that it really isn't much of a family anymore, is it?"

Just like the tunnel, something flickers beneath the surface here that disarms her. His defenses momentarily drop, and he's looking at her like she just ripped off his scab. Like its a betrayal somehow, and he's both angry and a little stung. "No, it isn't. It never was"

She doesn't want that. She doesn't want him to show this hint of vulnerability.

As if he can sense this, his face closes off again and he regards her with scrutiny. "What's a person like you doing as a bail bond agent anyway?"

"A person like me?"

"People attracted to your profession are usually white trash gun humpers with a hard-on for law enforcement. Big burly ex-military men, and girls with bleached blond hair, too much makeup, and a predisposition to defer to her male partner as the dominant voice."

Rey knows exactly the type of people he's talking about because some of Griff's other agents fit that description exactly. Still, she bristles. "I'm not any of those things."

Amusement briefly flickers at the edges of his expression. "I know. Which is why this -" he motions vaguely to her "doesn't make sense. How did you get into this work?"

"My — " She stops herself, outraged that he almost so effortlessly drew out her secrets. She scowls. "I don't owe you my life story."

"I'm guessing a family member," he muses. His gaze flicks behind her and in a flash he grabs for her again, this time taking her hand again, pulling her into the concealment of an alley and crowding her back against the wall to minimize her chance of bolting away. This irritates her, but again, she she doesn't go for the pepper spray. As annoying as he's being, she still doesn't get any impression that he means her real harm.

"So who is it? A brother?" He ventures, leaning over slightly so his fathom-deep dark eyes can search hers. "A father?"

Rey yanks out of his grasp again. "Neither."

"A boyfriend?" he asks, an eyebrow arching.

"No!"

He hums in thought, then gives himself a little nod of confirmation. "But there is someone. Someone important to you does this work. You're trying to emulate them instead of being your own person."

Mando always got incredibly spooked when Rey pointed out truths in others that she had no way of knowing, and now she understands why. Chills break out over her skin at his deadly accurate assessment.

"What about you?" she snaps, turning the table on him. "You have all these fancy degrees and work for a mega corporation, but you don't even have a relationship with your own parents. Parents who probably helped you get those fancy degrees. Parents who probably love you."

"You think just because you spent a couple afternoons with him that you know what kind of man he is?" Ben taunts.

"Yeah, actually I think I do. And you do too, which is why you're trying to protect him."

To this, Ben says nothing. The curiosity is gone from his gaze now, replaced by coldness and anger. It sends a winter wind sweeping through her, and she shivers. Still, she won't let herself be intimidated.

"You've never looked in the boxes, have you?" she says softly and the knowledge dawns in her mind. "You don't want to know what's in them."

"I know he's a criminal and a smuggler," Ben says, and the way he says it puts distance between himself and the words. "Any specifics I know just make me an accessory."

Rey nods. "Sure, that's what you tell yourself. But you suspect what he's smuggling anyway, and you don't want the confirmation forcing your hand. Because even though he thinks you're embarrassed and ashamed of him, we both know you do still care."

Surprisingly, Ben doesn't deny it. His frown deepens, but when he speaks, it's to flatly confirm her assessment. "I wish I didn't, but I do. That's why I can't let you arrest him. He deserves to be locked up, but for my own weakness I can't let it happen."

"I don't think that's weakness," she replies, thinking of Mando and Dyn with a surge of wistfulness. "I think it's love."

"Call it whatever you want, I don't want it," says Ben, but the steel has gone out of his voice.

Twilight has crept in between them now, and Rey only notices because Ben's eyes don't have the glow of sunset in them like they did before. They're dark, like spent coals. She startles and shoves him away, dashing out of the alley and looking down the street towards Millennium Motors. The Westfalia is gone. Chuy's chopper is gone too.

"You bastard," Rey cries, turning on Ben with dismay. "You distracted me so he could get away, and I couldn't follow!"

He smirks briefly, and she could seriously punch him in that gorgeous mouth of his. "I told you, I won't let it happen. When you didn't arrest him this afternoon, I realized you weren't going to do it with Chuy around. That meant you needed to get him alone, which was only going to happen after he left."

Rey growls in her frustration, stalking away from Ben to visually sweep the streets again. But it's no use. Han is long gone.

"Where does he live?" she demands. Her voice snaps like a whip.

He gives her an incredulous look. "You've lost your mind if you think I'm going to tell you that."

"Damnit, where does he live?" she repeats again, striding over to him, trying to get in his face, trying to cow him with the rage pouring off her.

It doesn't even almost work. He looks down at her without an ounce of intimidation.

"Give up," Ben says, and there is a firm command in the way he says it. "Go home."

"No." Rey shoots him a glare. "I'm not leaving this city without him."

"Then you're stuck here. Because you won't win."

"I will."

The air is charged between them, both of them angry and determined. It's like a magnetic field keeping them tethered in this tense proximity. With a shudder, Rey retreats from it, her heart beating way too hard, blood rushing in her ears as she fights down a feeling of…what?

A few cooling steps back now, she snatches the handcuffs out of her back pocket and shows them to Ben. "If you interfere again, I'm going to arrest you."

And the anger in his countenance breaks, just for a moment, in favor of something…else. A slight curl at the corner of his mouth, a flash in his eyes. She quickly puts the cuffs away, and feels heat bloom in her cheeks.

"I look forward to it," he says, soft and low, giving her one final smirk before he abruptly turns and strides back up through the alley.

Rey contemplates running after him, but then questions her own sanity. She shakes her head and heads back to her car instead. God, what _is it_ with him?

She sits in her car without moving it for a long time, processing, trying to figure out her next move. By day, Han has his giant companion for protection, and by night, apparently his confusingly compelling and obnoxious son is keeping an eye. Rey is now reasonably certain she could take him out if she needed to. In fact, she's sure of it. He's big and intimidating and hauntingly beautiful, but there's something about him which tells her that she'd be an even match in a contest of strength. Still, there's this pesky problem of her failing to treat him as she would any other threat the moment she's in his presence.

She has never had this problem before, and she has no idea what to make of it.

Before she's quite aware she is doing it, Rey finds herself scrolling through her very short list of contacts and taping on Mando's name. She considers hanging up as it starts ringing, but he answers too quickly.

"Rey? Are you alright?"

His voice, coarse and sandy, is familiar and surprisingly comforting. She exhales softly into the reassurance of hearing it. "I'm fine."

There's a silence, and she tries to remember why exactly she called him.

"Okay," he says awkwardly. "How's Seattle?"

"Fine," she says. "I - I just called to get your advice."

"The job not working out like you thought?"

Her eyes narrow at the subtle notes of hope coming through his otherwise neutral voice. He still doubts that she'll succeed. Why? Why is he so invested in her failure?

"It's working out just fine," she replies testily. But then, that isn't entirely true. "Or almost. I mean, I found him easily enough."

"So what's the problem?"

"I'm not sure how to extract him. He's got this _huge_ guy as his business partner and friend. They spend all day together. I feel like he could take a round of rubber bullets, get hit with smoke _and_ get tased and none of it would phase him. And then he's also got this…he's got a son who isn't about to let me get near him. Well, I mean, I can do that on my own, but every time I think I'm about to find a way to Solo, his son blocks me. He keeps interfering. It's infuriating."

"So arrest him and haul him down to the local precinct." Mando says it so easily, like it's not an obvious thing she's already thought of.

She sighs. "He's got a big fancy job with big fancy lawyers."

"Shit," Mando says, because he knows what a pain in the ass lawyers are.

"Yeah." Rey traces her finger along the steering wheel. "So it's taking longer than I thought."

"You don't have to rush this, Rey. Take your time. Wait for your opportunity."

She swallows, trying to tamp down the flare of fear that he's encouraging her to stay away longer because they're doing just fine without her. She takes a moment and then quietly asks, "How's Dyn?"

"He misses you," Mando says.

That's a comfort at least. "Tell him I'll be home soon."

"I will."

"So…um…back to the job...it's physically painful for me to admit I don't know what to do here, but, I don't know what to do. What strategy would you use to get this guy out?"

There's another long silence, and then finally Rey can hear a long, slow release of air on Mando's end. When he speaks, it's with reluctance. "Look, I'm sorry, I can't help you on this one, kid. You gotta figure this out on your own."

"Why can't you just point me in the right direction?" she demands, all the emotions of her recent interaction sending her frustration immediately to a razor sharp edge.

"This is the way."

"It's not _my_ way!" she bursts, her hand tightening around the phone. "I'm not asking you as Mando the Beskarian, I'm asking you as my mentor and guardian and the closest thing to a parent I've got. Just tell me what I should do!"

"I'm sorry," he says, but she doesn't think he really sounds all that sorry.

"Great. Well. Thanks for nothing," she snaps, and immediately hangs up. She tosses the phone onto the seat next to her, hands rubbing her face, fingertips pressing into her eyes.

Loneliness sweeps over her, familiar and unwelcome.

Time. Mando said to take her time.

She'll go back to her new friends and let them distract her and give herself time to figure this out. She doesn't have to know right now. Drawing a deep breath, she accepts this tentative plan for herself and turns the engine on.


	7. Chapter 7

chapter seven: ridesharing with the enemy

* * *

"A job?" Finn asks her over breakfast in the morning, a brow lifting skeptically. "Don't you _have_ a job? Isn't that why you're here?"

"I need a cover," she explains. "I thought this would be a smash and grab situation, but it looks as if it's shaping up to be a more delicate procedure, requiring some careful planning. I need to make my cover story verifiable, and it would help to have a little more cash that what I initially planned for. So — you know any?"

"I mean," Finn shakes his head, baffled. "I don't even own a car, how would I know of any mechanics?"

Poe lifts his head from the other side of the kitchen where he's been working on his laptop. "Isn't that girl you've been talking to at school a mechanic?"

Finn startles, pointing a finger at Rey as his eyes widen. "Oh man, he's totally right. Wow, what a convenient coincidence. Yeah, she works down at this auto shop by the waterfront. I'll text her and ask her what the name is."

"Hey, you got her number?" Poe asks, eyebrows waggling suggestively. "When did that development happen?"

"Oh, uh…" Finn fumbles around his phone, tapping out the message, clearing his throat. "We ended up on this group project together for Civ, so…that's how I got it."

"Boring," declares Poe, attention returning to whatever work he had on his screen. "I thought you might've made a move for once in your life."

Rey picks at a pomegranate, waiting for Finn to hear back from his friend. She regards him curiously. "So you like this girl?"

"I mean." Finn avoids eye contact, picking the crust off the sandwich he's made. "She's cool, and funny. She's fun to hang out with. I don't know if I have a major romantic interest in her yet or not. Jannah's kind of cute too."

"Jannah doesn't play for your team," Poe reminds him.

"She told Zorri she's open to new experiences," Finn fires back.

"That might not mean you, pal."

"You don't know that it doesn't!"

Poe sighs dramatically. "You need to focus."

"The field is wide," defends Finn. "I'm just exploring my options."

"You're too busy exploring, you never actually ask anyone out!"

Rey snickers, but doesn't jump in. Finn's phone buzzes, but he's too busy arguing with Poe to notice. She surreptitiously turns it towards her and looks at the message on the screen.

**Rose:** _Lol of course I remember you, dummy. It's called Niima Auto and Tire. You don't have a car though, why do you ask? _

Rey searches for the name on her phone and finds it. It's definitely too far to walk, and not really in the direction of Han and her search parameters, but it doesn't matter. She finds a bus route to take here there, since it looks like parking might be tricky. She nudges Finn.

"Ask her if she's working today."

He glances at her and then down at the phone. "Oh. Well, I have class with her this morning, so probably not."

"So ask if she's working after."

While he taps out his reply, Rey throws away the husk of her fruit and washes her hands. If Rose won't be at work for a while, maybe she'll go watch the chop shop until she is.

Poe waves her over to ask her opinion about a new color option for one of their winter coats. She likes it, though it makes her think of traffic cones. He laughs. It's surprisingly easy to be here, in Poe and Zorri's home, with the couple and Finn and Jannah as company. It feels natural, like no relationships in her life ever have. She wonders vaguely why she wasn't able to find this sort of effortless friendship before, and part of her is waiting for them to declare that the jig is up and they're tired of her. But still. She isn't sorry that she's decided to take a longer time catching Han. It means she can linger here with them a little longer.

"Yeah, she goes in at one," Finn tells her. "Want me to tell her you're coming by?"

"Sure," says Rey.

"If you have any hope of asking this girl out at all, buddy, tell her she's your cousin or something," Poe advises.

And then they're at it again, debating the merits of making a girl jealous or making her feel like she's the only interesting person in the world, even if she isn't. Rey slips away to get ready for the day.

* * *

Niima Auto is a dingy little hole in the wall auto shop, smashed between two warehouses, a small lot out front absolutely packed with cars, a long narrow workshop with two bays comprising the rest of the property. There are several workers on site, working on cars as quickly as they can, a classic rock station blaring Zeppelin from an unseen radio somewhere.

Rey walks into one of the bays and asks for Rose. A guy cleaning off his hands points her over to a minivan up on a lift, all four tires off. A short Asian girl is busy replacing a break pad, her hair pulled back in a tiny bobbing ponytail.

Rey makes her way over. "Are you Rose?" she asks.

The girl turns around and gives her a quick look before a friendly grin breaks out over her face. "You must be Rey, Finn's cousin?"

Rey laughs. "Uh, yeah, I'm Rey, nice to meet you."

She offers her hand and Rose shakes it, despite the grease.

"So you think you want to work here?"

"I need something temporary. I'm good with my hands and I have years of experience."

"I mean, I would _love_ to have another female here to associate with." Rose glances towards the office. "But Mr. Plutt is kind of an ass. I don't know if he'll want to hire you for temp work."

Rey follows her gaze to the office, a hint of mischief playing at the corner of her mouth. "I had an idea about that. Don't worry, I know how to deal with his type."

It doesn't take long to emerge the victor in that first encounter with the boss. She walks into Plutt's room in the office and immediately starts barking at the man, who looks like he's made out of melted strawberry ice cream, about how it's been a whole week since he hired her and she's _still_ not on the schedule and so why did he even bother if he wasn't going to put her to work? Plutt tries to argue that he doesn't remember her, but Rey just gets angrier and louder. Bewildered and annoyed, Plutt directs Rose to pull her file and make sure she starts working immediately.

Rose takes Rey to the front part of the office and gets Rey the paperwork, they fill it out and backdate it, and immediately put it in a new personnel file. Twenty minutes later, they both return to the minivan where a newly hired Rey begins to help Rose with the rest of the break pads.

Rose is in awe.

"I've never seen anything like that," she says. "You're my new hero."

Rey laughs. "That's basically how I got my first job at an auto shop like this. Nobody wanted to hire a sixteen year old girl, so I just bluffed my way in."

Rose shakes her head in amazement. "I can't believe it worked. Plutt is a total cheapskate. I'd have thought he'd keep meticulous records about who he has to pay, and who he doesn't."

"I'll make sure to stay out of his way."

Rose agrees this is a wise decision. After the break pads, they put a new set of tires on.

"So you go to school with Finn?" Rey asks conversationally as she hefts a tire.

Rose nods, coming up beside her to drill on the lug nuts. "I'm studying engineering. I like doing this, though. It pays the bills and it keeps what I'm learning practical instead of all theoretical."

"I like it," Rey says approvingly.

"What about you? What are you studying?"

"Oh I — I'm not. I don't go to any school." Rey has never really thought about getting a university degree. She was a good student in high school, but she was already so busy working with her hands and making comfortable money that it never occurred to her to pursue something higher. She doesn't need a degree for bounty hunting either, so it has never come up. Thinking about it now, she's pretty sure that experience can teach her at least as much as a doctor of philosphy in a classroom can.

Rose's brow ticks up in surprise. "You just want to be a mechanic?"

"I guess so, yeah. I haven't given it a whole lot of thought."

"That's cool." But the way Rose says it carries a strange caveat laces into her cheerful demeanor.

Rey waits for her to say whatever it is she's not saying.

Finally Rose laughs a little and says, "You seem like you're way too smart to be wasted doing just blue collar work though."

Rey shoots her a wary glance. "What does that mean, exactly?"

"You know. Like…" Rose shrugs. "There's no shame in doing that sort of thing, of course. But also there's more you can do with it. You can take what you love here and do really cool things, like design bigger machines. That's what I love. And there's kind of a stigma that comes with tradesmen. It's totally unfair, of course, but I guess I just kind of got caught up in the stereotype since that's what surrounds me all day here, and you don't seem like…"

"Trash?" Rey suggests.

Rose blushes. "I wouldn't have said trash. It's horrible. I'm sorry."

"Funny enough, you're the second person to tell me that in as many days," Rey says, and she isn't quite sure what to make of it.

"I'm sorry," Rose says again. "It's cool that you know what you want to do with your life."

Rey hums thoughtfully, returning to her work while trying not to let that final remark sink too deep into her brain. She _does_ know what she wants to do with her life, even if it comes with a stigma of making her low class trash. Is she, in fact, what both Rose and Ben think she isn't? She _was_ living in a literal junkyard before sneaking onto Mando's RV, and she has lived her entire adolescent life in a trailer on the road. Mando makes a living, a decent one, but he's frugal and they aren't wealthy by any means. Rey didn't go shopping with the other girls in high school, she didn't get dolled up and go hunting for boyfriends, she doesn't have the latest gadgets or sneakers or even a laptop of her own. She doesn't have all the trappings of a normal middle-class life, and she isn't pursing a degree like everyone else her age seems to be. Instead she chooses to spend her time tinkering with engines and chasing criminals. What does that say about her?

The rest of the afternoon passes swiftly. Rose is chatty and bubbly, and her joyful attitude is infectious. Rey likes her a lot. By the time their shift ends at six, Rose has decided that they are definitely friends.

"What are you doing now?" she asks. "Want to go grab a bite?"

Rey motions to her phone. "My roommates are going to get drinks. Come with us."

Rose's expression lights up. "Sure! I'll tell my sister I'll be home late tonight."

Rey knows she should dump the social invitations and go follow Han to see if she can find where he lives, but she needs a break from that tonight. She just wants to enjoy her new friends and forget about Han and his son. She _really_ doesn't want to risk running into him again right now.

She sends a quick message to Jannah asking if Rose can come.

"Finn will be there too," she informs Rose. "You should know that he isn't really my cousin."

Rose blinks, surprised. "Oh! Why did he say that, then?"

"Advice from a friend," Rey says with a smirk. "He didn't want you to think I was a romantic interest of his. It's not like that with us. I'm just temporarily staying at the apartment he rents."

A pinkish glow blooms in Rose's cheeks. "I definitely would have assumed you were. He wanted me to know you weren't? Does he have expectations? I didn't really think of him like that. He's just this nice guy in my class."

"I don't know." Rey is in unfamiliar territory here. She laughs. "He says he's considering his options."

"Wow." Rose laughs too, and it is effervescent. Rey's smile grows.

"I have a car but I didn't bring it," she explains a few minutes later when Jannah's text comes back confirming Rose and giving the location of the speakeasy they're meeting at. "Are you okay to drive?"

"Oh, I don't have a car," says Rose, cleaning up. "Sold it to pay for school. I walk or take public transportation everywhere."

"Cool, that works too." Rey taps the address into her maps and looks at the public transportation options. "There's a Lite Link station four blocks away. It'll take us almost right to the place."

"Sounds like we better get walking." Rose hoists a messenger bag over her head and clicks off the last light in the bay. "You got any siblings?"

"No — well, sorta," Rey replies as they head out into the night. "My guardian took in another foster kid a few years ago. Dyn. He's five."

"So like a _really_ little brother," says Rose.

Rey smiles. "Something like that. You said you have a sister?"

"Paige, yeah. She's a couple years older than me. We live together here. There's no _way_ my parents were gonna let me come to school by myself. They're kind of overprotective like that. But it's cool, I like living with Paige. We get along."

Rey wonders vaguely what it would be like to have a sister. Her female companionship department has been sorely lacking. Maybe that's why she enjoys the easy company of Rose and Jannah and Zorri so much.

Maybe that's why she's dilly-dallying on the Han situation. Procrastinating the inevitable goodbye.

A couple blocks before the Lite Link station, Rey catches sight of an eerily familiar black Maserati sedan stopped at a light. They cross the street in front of it. She can't see past the headlights but she tingles with recognition anyway. Her hand tightens on the collar of her jacket and she avoids looking at it, trying to decide if the sudden knot in her stomach is of dread or anticipation. Hopefully he didn't recognize her.

But just as she fears, as soon as the light changes, the black car turns right and pulls over next to them. The window rolls down.

Rose notices and stops, probably expecting some lost driver asking for directions. Rey doesn't look over, staring deliberately ahead instead.

"You're in the wrong neighborhood," he says, and his voice somehow carries directly to her without needing to shout.

Rose stops her approach to the window abruptly. "Excuse me? We are? Or you are?"

He ignores her, addressing Rey again. "He doesn't live here."

Rey finally glances at him, and immediately meets those coal-dark eyes. "Good to know."

She wants the interaction to end before it gets intense again, because everything gets so damn weird when he shows up and she forgets how to behave normally, but then he's getting out of his car and coming around the other side.

"Where are you going?" he asks.

He's getting wet. The light drizzle is deceptively effective at soaking everything within minutes. Rey allows herself a brief moment to wonder what that great hair looks like after being in the rain — does it get frizzy?

"Uh, I'm sorry," Rose says in a way that clearly conveys her confusion. "Who are you?"

Ben barely glances at her. "Ask Rey."

"He's no one," Rey says quickly. Too quickly. "And it isn't any of your business where we're going."

"Actually it completely is my business, since you made it my business." His words are hostile, but his tone isn't. "I need to know if I should be worried."

"You can relax, I'm off duty tonight," she sighs in exasperation. "If you must know, I'm meeting some friends at a speakeasy called Hos."

A single brow lifts. "I know that place. It's pretty far from here."

"Right." Rey waits. Surely that can't be the extent of his observation.

"Where's your ugly little car?"

She prickles, frowning at this small insult. "I didn't bring it."

"So how are you getting there?"

"Why am I getting the third degree?" Rey demands. "What's it to you?"

He glances from her to Rose and then up at the street sign. His face contorts into disgust. "Tell me you're not taking the train."

"What's wrong with that?" Rose asks, clearly offended now.

He sighs. "Congratulations, your Uber has arrived. Get in."

"What? No." Rey cannot figure out why he's interested in their transportation choices this evening, but she's sure as hell not getting in his car. His beautiful, clean, expensive car. He likes to corner her in awkward spaces, and this feels like another attempt to repeat the performance of their last two encounters.

"It's raining, it's rush hour, the train will be crowded this time of night, and you're not as well-defended as you usually are," he observes, his eyes roaming to take in her less tactical, more comfortable grease-stained jeans with small female pockets clearly not stuffed with pepper bombs and taser cartridges. His raking gaze draws warmth to her cheeks and she desperately hopes the gloom and her hood hides it.

"I can take care of myself without all those things," she says acidly. "And anyway, why the hell do you care if something happens? Wouldn't that solve your problem?"

He starts walking back to the driver's seat. "Just get in the car."

Rey waits, debating, her heart beating way too fast for this simple, stupid situation. She doesn't know why she doesn't just walk away, but like every time it happens with him, she feels trapped by his presence. It's not an unpleasant kind of trapped, though.

Finally she inexplicably but begrudgingly goes to the car. Rose follows her.

"Really?" she asks, and there are so many questions behind that one word. She lets only one follow. "We're getting a ride from this rude dude?"

Rey can't really come up with an answer, so she just opens the door and gets in the front seat. Rose waits only a moment, then shrugs, bewildered, and gets in the back.

The car smells amazing. Like new leather and a faint hint of expensive cologne. The seat is buttery soft and perfectly contoured, and the console controls glow in a muted, welcoming light. It is, as she suspected, impeccably clean.

"We just came from work," she says in a clipped tone. "So, sorry if we get your car dirty."

Ben barely glances at her. "I can smell the motor oil. Just don't touch anything you don't have to."

He pulls out into traffic once more, apparently not needing directions.

"Buckle," he says firmly after neither of them remember to do it. Rey hears Rose's click into place a second before she clips her own.

Nobody speaks at first. Rey peeks back at Rose, who gives her wide-eyed look and a small shake of the head. She turns back around and slumps down a little in the seat.

"Why exactly are you working as a grease monkey instead of being a nuisance?" Ben ventures after another minute of awkward silence.

Rey bristles automatically, though there's nothing inherently confrontational about the question. He says it almost conversationally. She watches the rain on the windshield, observing the streaks that form commuting lanes the drops use to get down the glass.

"Girl's gotta eat."

"You were running out of funds?" He says this like it amuses him.

"Well someone is making my life complicated," she explains, throwing him a resentful side-eye. "It's taking longer than I planned for."

He gives a brief, satisfied nod. "Good."

Rose is still silent, but Rey is keenly aware of her. The two interactions with Ben have been intense and strange and somehow always uncomfortably personal, so she doesn't really know how to feel about having someone witness this third one.

Ben seems aware of her too. He glances at her through the mirror. "You didn't introduce me to your friend, Rey."

"Ben this is Rose, Rose this is Ben," Rey replies in an impatient rush.

Rose clears her throat and speaks carefully. "Nice to meet you Ben, I think. How exactly do you two know each other?"

They've stopped at a light. Ben turns and gives Rey a look of mild surprise, and then his expression is wickedly entertained. He's caught the thread of something fun to play with. He again looks at Rose through the mirror as he addresses her. "Oh, she didn't tell you? Rey, don't you want you new friend knowing what you do?"

"I was getting to it," Rey snaps. "It's not something that usually comes up in the first couple hours of knowing a person."

"On the contrary," Ben says and there is way too much enjoyment in his voice, "I think it's exactly the kind of thing that would naturally come up."

"She's a mechanic," says Rose, but a little uncertainly.

"Yeah," agrees Rey. "I am."

Ben smirks. "Oh, but that's not the whole truth, is it?"

She hadn't been exactly hiding the truth today, but she was hoping it wouldn't come up because the more people who know, the more complicated it is. And besides, she went after this job partly as a distraction from the Han situation, so she doesn't see why the two needed to intersect, or why anyone at Niima would need to know about it. But with how quickly friendship developed between them, Rey knew she'd probably tell Rose at some point, maybe even tonight at the bar. Instead, Ben grabbed it and dragged it around like a dirty little secret to be revealed, and made it weird.

She sighs and hurries to explain, turning in her seat to look at Rose. "I'm a fugitive recovery agent. A bounty hunter, basically. I'm trying to catch his father. That's how we know each other."

Rose's eyes widen into huge discs. "You're what?"

Ben catches Rey's resentful glare. His sable eyes glitter with delight. The light changes and they start moving again. Rey grimaces as she addresses Rose once more.

"I swear I wasn't trying to hide it."

"How in the world are you friends, though?" Rose's bafflement grows with each word. "Why are we in this car right now? What is going on?"

"We're not friends," Rey says firmly. "And...I don't know the answers to the rest."

Ben is silent. Rose looks out the window and shakes her head, eyes still wide. Rey can't guess what's going through the other girl's head right now.

She turns back around and slumps further down in her seat. "Where's the book that tells you how much or how little you tell new friends when you first meet them?" she grumbles to herself. "I'm not familiar with the whole _friends_ thing."

Ben glances at her. He says nothing.

A silent minute later, her phone buzzes in her lap. Before she can pick it up, Ben's hand darts out to grab it. They're at another light, so he risks a glance. "Jannah says they are there," he informs her.

She snatches it back with a furious glower. "You have to stop that."

"Stop what?"

"That thing where you just grab whatever you want with your sneaky fast hands," she grouches. "It's driving me crazy."

Once again his glance flashes to hers, and it's like that moment with the handcuffs, like her words carried a meaning they didn't intend and he is laughing at her, though no sound passes his full lips. The hint of a grin toys there, and Rey is hot with embarrassment all over again. She closes her mouth with a click and turns her head to stare out the window, determined not to say anything else for the rest of the ride.

Rose clears her throat a little, but offers no commentary about the exchange.

The rest of the ride is awkward.

He pulls up in front of the bar and Rey breathes a sigh of relief. She is eager to get out.

"Why did you pick a bar so far away from your new work?" Ben asks as Rose bolts out of the back seat.

"It's where my - my friends wanted to eat." Why is she still bothering to answer his questions? Rey moves to open the door, but catches a glimpse of his face, and it makes her pause.

His expression is strange. He looks at her, his mouth pulling at the corner and his brow low and furrowed, as if confused...or maybe misunderstanding. "How long have you been in this city?"

"A few days."

His gaze travels beyond her, and she glances over her shoulder to see Finn giving Rose a hug. Jannah, Poe, and Zorri are coming up behind him.

When Rey looks back there is a brief flicker of something else in his face before he turns to face the front again.

"I'm sure this isn't the last time I'll annoy you," he says, dismissive now. "See you around."

She opens the door, frowning just a little. "Yeah…" she's slow to get out of the car, trying to figure out what it is she wants to say. "See you…"

As soon as she closes the door, he drives off in a low hum of a fine engine. She puzzles over the feeling lingering inside her, trying to decipher that look he'd worn for just a second before he masked himself again. Was it…wistful? Jealous? What _was_ that?

"Rey!" cries Jannah, pouncing on her. She sweeps her into a tight hug. "I had the craziest day at work! I can't wait to tell you about it. But tell me about you! I assume you got the job?"

Rey laughs, the tightness in her chest dissolving. Thoughts of Ben fade to the background as she turns to her friends. "Yeah, I took a page from your book and demanded the universe grant me a same-day offer of employment, or something like it."

"Love that," declares Jannah. "Let's go inside to celebrate!"

* * *

**A/N:**  
Your reviews are feeding my muse :D I love them. Also, Hartmannclan - Your PM's are disabled but I wanted to let you know that I have planned a fix-it for that sad one-off story of Rey in mourning. An idea came to me a few days ago. So don't worry, I have some chapters outlined for a happily-ever-after! I'll probably finish this one up before I write it, but it is coming!


	8. Chapter 8

chapter eight: but he doesn't have the face for it

* * *

"What do you mean you didn't know she was a bounty hunter?" Finn is cackling with laughter and Rose is grinning big.

"Seriously! She just neglected to mention it during our _whole_ getting-to-know-you conversation for hours today."

Rose doesn't sound upset, so Rey stops feeling bad about that awkward reveal. They're two rounds into their drinks now and everybody is loosening up. Rose seems to fit in well with the group. They like her.

"Wait, wait, then how did you find out?" Finn presses.

"I had to hear about it from some asshole whose father she is hunting," Rose replies, and Finn's cackles burst into a howl of incredulity.

Jannah leans against Rey and picks at the wings they ordered, her fingers sticky. At this news, however, she stiffens and looks at Rey.

"Wait, you saw him again?"

Rey clears her throat. "Oh, uh, yeah. Twice, actually. He's really protective of his dad, I guess. But it's fine. I've got the situation under control."

Rose scoffs. "Right. By under control you mean you two have this bizarre dynamic where you're angry and rude to each other but also you do each other favors you didn't actually ask for?"

Jannah looks like her head is going to explode. Her expression is wild, vacillating between disbelief and horror. "You're _associating_ with this guy? Like, casually hanging out? Rey, isn't that dangerous?"

"No," Rey protests, shooting Rose a begrudging look. "It's not dangerous. Okay, okay it definitely has had the potential to be dangerous, but it doesn't matter, we're not hanging out. I'm not associating with him if I can help it. He gave us a ride here, yeah, but that was a one-time thing. I guess he was feeling nice or something. But please stop worrying, it's fine. I'm a professional, I can handle it. He knows that if he interferes too much, I'll just arrest him for harboring a fugitive."

"Why haven't you done that already?" Zorri asks curiously. Poe is absently playing with her hair and watching a football game on a screen at the bar, only half-paying attention.

"He hasn't actually _done_ anything yet," Rey admits. "And he's rich and has a bunch of lawyers. So I have to be careful. Griff would _not_ appreciate a lawsuit."

"He's rich?" Finn's eyes widen.

Rose nods. "He drives a Maserati Ghibli."

Finn whistles. "Holy smokes. Loaded."

"Look, can't we find something else to talk about?" Rey pleads. "It's just part of the job I'm trying to navigate, nothing more." She bumps her shoulder into Jannah's "Tell me about something else. Tell me about one of your cases. Rose, Janah is a social worker. Just started."

Rose picked out a wing and leaned her elbows on the table, face illuminating with interest. "Really? That's gotta be a hard gig, dealing with taking kids from families and stuff. How do you compartmentalize?"

"Well, first of all I'm really new at it, so I haven't had time to get emotionally bogged down yet," Jannah explains. "But also I don't work for DCFS, so I don't deal with that side of things. I work with the foster system, so it's more about helping kids get out of harmful situations and finding better ones for them. I really want to be that rock they can lean on. But mostly it's just a ridiculous amount of paperwork so far, so that's not very emotional."

Rose grinned. "Paperwork is about as far away from emotional as you can get."

After a few more minutes of benign conversation about foster kids (as benign as talking about that can be) Rey gets up to fetch herself and Jannah another drink, since they are both running low. Satisfied that the others are latched on to another topic now, she feels like she can relax again.

She has decided what that look on Ben's face wast, and has also decided she doesn't really want them talking about him. There seems to be more under the surface than she initially thought, and it makes the subject of him an uneasy one for her. The expression he'd worn is one she knows well, now that she's finally recognized it. It is one she's worn herself, in her moments of quiet ache. It is loneliness.

Rey orders more drinks and leans against the bar while she waits for them.

A man seated a couple stools away keeps looking over at her, and she pretends to ignore him at first — she's definitely not interested in the usual conversation that happens at bars — but his staring eventually grates on her nerves and she throws him a sharp look.

"Do I know you?"

The man is probably in his fifties, sandy hair mostly gray, a close-cropped beard and the wrinkle lines of someone chronically stressed. His blue eyes are clear and sharp, though.

"I don't know. Do you?" he asks. "You look awfully familiar."

"Doubt it. I'm not from here. And you don't look familiar to me."

He cocks his head to the side, studying her face carefully. "No…I saw you recently."

She has absolutely zero recollection of him, of that she's certain, and her interactions in the city have been limited. She shrugs, unable to help him find the answer.

He snaps his fingers and points, eyes widening when he has it. "You were leaving my brother-in-law's car shop the other day."

Rey stiffens in surprise. "Is your brother in law Han or Chuy?"

"Han." He peers at her curiously. "What's a kid like you doing mixed up with those two criminals?"

A brother-in-law! A trickle of excitement runs down her spine.

"I just like his car," she replies a little distractedly as she glances back at her friends.

The man makes a scoffing grunt. "That car. What do you like about it? It's ancient, unreliable, and ugly."

Rey just thought she was coming out tonight to relax, but fate has thrown her a bizarre opportunity here. An opportunity to learn the most elusive pieces of Han's story, and she is suddenly keenly interested in pursuing it. She is ready to abandon her other plan for this new one.

"I'll tell you, and we can talk because I'm so curious about this, but can you excuse me for just one second, though? I just gotta run this back to my table. Please don't go anywhere."

He bobs his head once and waves her off. "I'm not done with my drink yet. I'll be here."

She hurries Jannah's cup back over to her and leans over to whisper urgently, "I might have a break in the case. I'll be right back."

Jannah makes a noise of surprise, but Rey is already flitting away again, feeling the attention of the others following her as she makes her way back over to the bar. She slides onto a stool next to the stranger and offers her hand.

"Time for proper introductions. I'm Rey."

"Luke," he says, shaking it. "How old are you? No offense, Rey, but you seem too young to be hanging out with old crusty hacks like Han and Chuy."

"I'm nineteen. And we share a mutual appreciation for that ugly hunk of junk you don't like." She says this lightly, throwing him an easy grin. "I don't see what age has got to do with it."

He barks a grunting laugh and taking another swig.

Rey wants to know _everything_, but she decides to proceed slowly. "So Han is your brother-in-law, huh? He never mentioned you. Are you married to his sister?"

"He's married to mine," says Luke. "Han doesn't have any family except us."

"Oh. He's still married? I asked him about his family once and he said it was complicated, so I assumed that meant divorced."

"Nah, not officially. Just separated. They're going through a long rough patch." He sets down his glass and gives her a hard look. "Listen, Rey, he's not a good influence. I love the guy, but he's bad news. You really shouldn't hang around just because you like his car."

"He's nice," she replies, shrugging one shoulder. "He offered me a job there."

Luke's eyes widen in bafflement. "Why?"

"I'm a mechanic. I've been helping him fix up the van, and I guess he likes my work."

"That's a terrible idea."

"Well, I didn't take it. I already have a job."

"Good." Luke nurses his drink and looks like he's thinking about something that irritates him. "That shop is no place for a nice kid. And to be honest, I don't even know why he's back here. Han's got a checkered past. I bet he hasn't told you that, has he?"

Rey shakes her head.

Luke grunts yet again. "He got out of the country to get away from some legal trouble, but now he's back and we're all worried about him."

"Why are you telling me this?"

Luke pauses, as if he hasn't considered this. He glances at her. "I don't know."

Rey studies him, trying to decide how to play this so he keeps talking without it seeming like she's prying into their personal lives. "I mean, I won't lie to you, Luke, I like being around him. I don't really care if he's in legal trouble. Unless you're telling me he's some kind of pervert, I don't mind a criminal record."

"No, the trouble he gets into has nothing to do with that." Still, Luke frowns. "But you wouldn't want to be caught as an associate of his if the law finds him."

Rey can't help herself. She grins just a little, knowing she is the law, and she has found him. "I don't think it'll be a problem."

Luke takes another generous swig. "You got a dad?"

This question surprises her. The grin fades from her face. "Uh…not exactly."

"A mom?"

"No."

Luke sighs heavily. "That's why you like being around him. Han's got this dad vibe, and you're trying to find a father."

Rey laughs at this assessment. "Why do you think that?"

"He's got a soft spot for —" he waves his hand vaguely in her direction.

She lifts a single brow. "For what?"

"Pity cases."

"What's that supposed to mean?" She doesn't try to keep the offense out of her voice. Rey hungers for more family than what she has, yes, but she's never wanted anyone to feel sorry for her and she does _not_ like the idea of being a pity case.

"Kids who remind him of himself," Luke clarifies. "A person without people."

Rey considers this. "But he has people, doesn't he? He told me he has a son, at least. And if you say he's married — and he has you?"

"A son." Luke laughs at that, harsh and mocking. "As if Ben has ever done Han any good."

Rey lets her surprise manifest plainly, especially at the contempt dripping from his nephew's name. "What do you mean?"

Luke throws her an irritated look, though she knows instinctively that she is not the source of his agitation. "That kid is bad for everyone. He doesn't care at all about his parents or the opportunities they've given him. Han would cut off his own hand to have a relationship with his son, but Ben doesn't care."

"That's…awful," Rey says with some difficulty. She weighs this revelation against the specter from the tunnel, threatening her to stay away from his father, and against the man in the car, looking at her group of friends with wistful envy. It's a strange shade to add to her sketchy understanding of him. "Why is he like that? What happened?"

Luke shook his head. "Some people go rotten along the way. I don't know where it went wrong with him, but when he graduated high school, his parents had him come intern with me. They thought it would be good to give him some focus, maybe help him meet some people. Ben had a few friends in high school, but somehow he just never quite fit in. I tried to help him, and he was a hard worker, I'll admit. But…"

"But what?" Rey pressed.

"I don't know, he had this resentment building inside or something. One day he announced he'd gotten a job at our biggest competitor, and he was gone. He took some of our ideas in development and gave them over to his new employers. He just kind of turned his back on the family. He hasn't spoken to either of his parents in years. It's a big reason why Han and Leia have such a strained relationship now. I think they blame each other, or maybe they blame themselves but they just take it out on each other. His actions have pretty much destroyed our family, and almost destroyed our business."

Rey makes a mental note of Han's wife's name and takes a long draught from her drink, trying to drown out the story, trying to forget that she just heard about a boy who had _everything_ she wanted and threw it away. A boy who now drives around a ridiculously expensive car and makes life exceedingly difficult for her just because he doesn't want her to arrest the father he doesn't even have a relationship with.

_He's not a great father. He's not even a good father._

She shakes her head to clear the echo of his words, wincing against the burn in her throat. "I don't understand."

"Me neither." Luke stares straight ahead with the expression of a man who is defeated. "I can't say I'm blameless, if I'm being honest with you. We…argued. Big time. Right before he got the new job. I said a lot of things I shouldn't have. Maybe I pushed him over the edge."

"It still seems like a childish reaction to go running to your family's competitor with trade secrets," Rey says, and there is a sinking feeling in her stomach that she will probably run into Ben again before this is all over, and now she has all this knowledge sitting there like a rock inside her. How will she address him? Would he give her answers if she demanded them? She has no right to know, of course, but this ugly little picture Luke has painted for her hits a little too close to home and she feels a desperate need to understand.

Luke glances at her, lifting a brow. "You're easy to talk to, Rey. Suspiciously easy. Did someone put you up to this?"

"No," she says honestly. "I don't think I know anyone who knows any of you."

"Are you sure we don't? That you haven't met my family before?"

"I'm positive," she says. "Unless any of you have lived in Arizona, California, Oregon, or Colorado in the last ten years."

Luke shakes his head. "We've been right here. Then what brings you to Seattle?"

"I…" she falters for an excuse. There's no way she's telling him her real purpose. Not now. "I came here to help my friend move. I liked it, so I'm staying for a little while."

Luke signals the bartender to bring his bill. "And somehow you managed to find a bad influence like Han to hang out with."

"His car is a classic," she says, playfully defensive. "They're worth so much, and his is in such bad shape. I can't stand it. I want to help him fix it up."

Luke gives her another skeptical look. "You're wasting your time."

"Maybe, but even if the car is ultimately a loss, which I don't think it is, I still like talking to him."

He rolls his eyes. "That's a dangerous game to play, Rey. Don't go looking for a father in Han. He's a bad influence and he's too soft to make you stay away for your own good."

"I'll take that advice into consideration," she says.

When the bartender brings Luke's card back, he motions to Rey. "I'll pick up her tab too, when she's done. Just charge it again."

Rey blinks in surprise. "Thank you, but you don't have to do that."

"It's really nothing." Luke stands and puts on his raincoat. "It was interesting to meet you Rey. I trust you're not offended if I say I hope I don't see you again."

She smiles. "I can't promise you won't, but I'm not offended."

He nods. He doesn't smile back but there is a twinkle of mischief in his careworn blue eyes. He flicks his fingers in a casual little salute and then heads out the door.

The very moment he's gone, Rey's friends rush over and surround her, everyone talking at once. Their faces are wreathed in astonishment. She holds up her hands, laughing, begging them to stop and go one at a time.

"What did he say?" Zorri demands.

"I can't believe you just struck up a conversation with him!" says Finn in absolute awe. "The guts on you, girl!"

"What does _he_ have to do with your fugitive?" asks Jannah. "Of all people!"

"You're either insane or crazy brave. And he talked to you forever!" Rose gushes.

Poe tilts his head and considers her. "Wait…you don't know, do you?"

Rey shrugs helplessly. "Know what?"

The others gasp in unison, and it makes her laugh all over again.

Poe grins. "She just talked to one of the most important men in the city — the whole world, arguably, and she doesn't even know who he is."

"What? What are you talking about? Who is he?" Rey looks between them all, bewildered now, and overwhelmed.

Rose grabs her hand and pulls her attention, her eyes wide and full of significance. "Rey, that was _Luke Skywalker_. Of Skywalker Institute?"

Okay that...that wasn't at all the answer she was expecting. Rey stares in dumfounded silence. She doesn't know how to process this nonsensical information, but she has the distinct sensation that the world has just dropped out under her feet.

Ben works for Empire Analytics. Empire's main competitor in the tech industry is the innovative development group who calls themselves the Skywalker Institute. They churn out new technological advances as fast as Empire, but they preach a commitment to ethical sourcing and fair trade. It makes them slightly more expensive and therefore less popular than Empire, yet there is no denying they're on the very cutting edge of technology.

"Oh," Rey breathes. The impact of her conversation with Luke Skywalker lands like an atomic bomb in her brain. Ben is a Skywalker. The family he betrayed, the company he abandoned, is one of the biggest in the entire world. And somehow, by just agreeing to bring in a lowly smuggler about to skip bail, Rey has gotten herself mixed up in all of it.

* * *

She decides to take the next day off from bounty hunting again. She needs to process the information she learned and figure out how that fits into her job. A job which feels somehow much more complicated than it did the day before. She has stepped into the middle of a story here, and she does not belong in it. She has no place in it, yet she's been tasked with removing one of the key players of that very drama.

In the morning Jannah peppers her with questions over breakfast, more about what Luke said, about what Rey is going to do with Han, about this son he has and whether or not Rey should be trying to get some backup.

"I'll be your backup!" Jannah says. "I don't know anything about it, but put a taser in my hand and I'll have your back!"

Rey laughs at this. She has no doubt her fierce and brave friend would provide excellent backup, but there's no need for that. So instead she pulls Jannah in for a quick hug. "I can't tell you how good it feels to have someone worry about me."

"Aw, I'm sure your guardian guy, is worried about your too! And your little brother."

"I don't know if they are or not," Rey says honestly. "But I'm grateful to know you are, at least."

Jannah strokes her back in soothing motions for just a second and then gently pushes her away. "I have to go to work, and so do you, though I'd really prefer it if you went to your new job instead of after the guy _Luke Skywalker_ told you to stay away from."

Rey grins. "Don't worry, I need a day to figure out what he told me. I _am_ just going to the new job."

"Good." Jannah says.

And Rey does. She goes to Niima Auto and works a half day. Rose is there, a little hungover but still excitable, and ready to talk about the night before.

"My sister works for SI," she tells Rey. "I told her about you talking to Skywalker himself and she almost fell over. She's never even seen him. I guess he's not often at the office. His sister is though. She the visible head of the company. So your low-time smuggler was married to _her_?"

"I guess." Rey is still reeling from all this information. She feels tired just thinking about it.

"And that guy who gave us a ride last night is the son of Leia Organa?"

"Is that her last name?" Rey makes a mental note of it as well.

"Yeah. Everyone thinks it's Skywalker, like her brother, but I guess that's her married name."

"No." Rey doesn't tell Rose what Han's last name actually is, but it does does dredge up a weary sort of curiosity about where the name came from.

Rose doesn't seem to share this interest. She moves on easily. "I'm hoping to get hired at SI after I graduate. They're always looking for people with new ideas, so I gotta come up with something good to entice them."

"I bet you come up with something great."

"Maybe _we_ can, and then we can both get in."

Rey grins, because the idea is fun, and she chooses not to remind Rose that she won't actually be staying in Seattle long enough to make any of that happen.

The rest of the morning and early afternoon pass quickly. Plutt shows up once to bully people about not working hard enough, and Rey decides he looks rather like a blobfish. He disappears back into his office soon enough though, and she appreciates the chance to work with a great deal of autonomy.

Later, Rose takes off to go do homework while Rey decides to wander and explore the city while she brainstorms ideas for how to extract Han without disrupting this little circle of people who care deeply about him. It's a puzzle without a nice pretty conclusion. Either way, she's going to spread unhappiness in her wake.

She ends up at Pikes, which she supposes is fitting since she should probably see it at least once before she goes back to home. It's the off-season and it's a weekday before the after-work crowd, so it's not as packed with people as she expected. She wanders through the labyrinth of the shops below street-level, charmed by the small Nepalese and Tibetan shops most of all. She buys a little pendant with a talisman that supposedly brings greater insight, because even if she doesn't _really_ believe, what could it hurt?

After that she wanders up top and peruses the wonderful array of fresh fruits and vegetables and homemade jams on display. She tries yellow watermelon and some fruit that sort of looks like a strawberry, except the skin is actually a hard shell enveloping a squishy white fruit inside, suspiciously like an eyeball. It has a nice flavor though. She doesn't remember the name of it two minutes later.

She's enjoying herself, feeling at ease and unworried for a blessed few minutes. She wanders over to a booth featuring a spread of sample honey pots with little dipsticks to taste with. Her hand is hovering over one of these, trying to decide which she wants to try first, when a familiar chill spreads goosebumps over her skin and she looks up sharply.

Ben.

Is here.

He's at the same booth, buying a large jar of honey. He doesn't notice her immediately, and Rey wonders if she can slip away into the crowd before he does, but then all at once it's too late and he's turning. His eyes meet hers. There is a pause, a spark of the faintest surprise, and then a single eyebrow lifts.

"I can't seem to escape you," he says dryly.

"That tends to happen when you're monitoring someone's activities," she snaps back, reflex more than anything.

"Would you believe me if I said I wasn't actually stalking you?"

"No."

"Then I won't waste my breath."

He looks less formal than he has any of the other times she's seen him. No business attire today, only a pair of perfectly fitted dark-wash jeans, a black raincoat and a green scarf. His expression is more mild than she's ever seen it, not guarded or suspicious or even entertained in that sharp way he was last night. He just looks relaxed. His eyes take her in, deep inscrutable wells that reveal nothing of what they think of her. And there is that tiny upturn at the corner of his lips, like this is not the most disagreeable thing to happen to him today.

She stares at him, floundering for anything further to say, until her gaze drops to the jar of honey in his hands.

He follows her attention, giving the glass a little shake. "Local. Made from bees who pollinate blackberry bushes. It's a subtle difference from wildflower honey, but one I enjoy. They have a sample there if you want to try."

He points. Rey glances at it, her brow furrowing. Even his tone is different. Like all the hostility that has been between them is forgotten. He picks up a sample stick and dips it into the jar, handing it to her laden with golden dew.

"But the purple one says it's blackberry..." she says slowly.

"That one is flavored with the fruit afterwards. It's overpowering, too sweet, and I don't care for it."

She takes the stick, still unsettled and suspicious, and far too aware of the moment when her fingers brush against his. She flushes hot as he watches her slide the sample stick into her mouth.

"It just tastes like honey," she concludes, shrugging. "Sorry."

"Unacceptable," he decides, and quickly grabs three more sticks, scooping up three more daubs, each from a different pot. "Maybe if you compare, you'll be able to tell the difference. First try this one. It's the one you think is blackberry."

She rolls her eyes, mostly for the show of it because she's too bewildered to actually be annoyed, and takes the stick with the purple honey on the end. Again he watches her with strange intensity as she tastes it. She winces at the flavor.

"Okay, that definitely just tastes like berries. I don't like that."

He nods, a brief look of vindication, and then he hands her another. "This one is wildflower. This is what you're used to."

It's a neutral honey flavor, familiar and recognizable. "Yeah, it tastes like the first one."

"No, it doesn't." He presses the final one into her hand, holding it there, his fingers enveloping her whole hand when she tries to pull it away. "This is the first one again. You still have the taste of wildflower?"

"Yes."

"Okay." He lets go and she takes a step back from him, unsettled at the warmth of his contact. She obliges this interest of his one more time, setting the drop of nectar onto her tongue, throwing the stick in the trash as she works the flavor around. Strong familiar tones accented by a darker shade, subtle notes of something a little less pure, a little more shadowed.

"Oh," she says softly, her eyes flying to his in surprise.

The faintest of smiles ghosts across his lips and he nods. "See?"

The woman behind the counter has been watching them, apparently, because she chimes in with a soft whistle. "Well that was the sexiest way I've ever seen anyone sample my products."

Rey clears her throat and throws the woman a quick, embarrassed look. The woman gives her a wink and a grin, and waggles her eyebrows in Ben's direction. His normally pale face is unexpectedly tinged with color. He recovers quickly, though, ignoring the comment and giving Rey a nod.

"If you decide to take any piece of Seattle home with you when you leave, I recommend a jar."

"Thanks..." she says. He looks like he might go, and she could simply chalk this up as another inexplicably weird encounter with him and go about her day. But she doesn't want to do that yet. There are too many questions, and he is too strange a riddle to leave unsolved. So she says quickly, before he can turn away, "I met your uncle yesterday."

He tucks his new jar into a green crochet marked bag slung on his shoulder. "That can't have been a pleasant experience."

His response is so unperturbed that she doesn't know what to make of it. "The story he told certainly wasn't."

"Hm, no doubt. I could tell a worse one, though."

Yes, that's what she wants. She wants him to tell her his version, because she cannot understand Luke's. But she plays it cool instead of immediately demanding an explanation. "Could you?"

"Do you like seafood?" he asks abruptly.

This catches her off guard. "I uh…I like all food."

"Come." He turns abruptly and starts weaving around the other shoppers, heading in a direction she'd already been through.

She scrambles after him, far too puzzled and intrigued to second-guess herself.

"Are you going to tell me your worse story?" she asks as she tries to keep up with his long strides.

"No," he says.

She wrinkles her nose. "Then why even bring it up?"

"I didn't. You did."

"I didn't! I just said Luke told me some unpleasant things."

"Luke is an unpleasant person," Ben replies. "I try not to go around spreading joyless tales of family discord to relative strangers."

"Are we really even strangers at this point?" she mutters, a little resentfully because no matter how much she wishes to avoid him, he keeps turning up. They seemed destined for acquaintance. Or if destiny doesn't have a hand in it, Ben certainly does because he's the one who always insists on turning these encounters into more than a casual run-in.

He smirks, but doesn't offer further commentary. A moment later, they stop walking. They arrive at a little tiny restaurant tucked in a remote corner of the market — so far out of the way that there are no other shoppers here at all.

The restaurant has two tables crammed into a narrow space between an exterior window and the ordering counter. Tantalizing smells emanate from the kitchen, only hidden from view by a basic partition. The whole thing is half the size of Mando's trailer.

Ben sets his market bag down on one of the tables and goes to the counter.

A tiny woman of unknown ethnic origin comes out from behind the patrician and gives Ben a huge grin. Her face is lined with with endless wrinkles. "Welcome back, Mister Solo. You want the same as always?"

"Two of them this time, Mai. Thank you."

The woman's gaze flits to Rey and her smile grows. "Two. Yes."

She vanishes into the back.

Ben grabs two water bottles out of the little cooler beside the register and returns to the table. He sits, and after a moment of hesitation, Rey does too. She keeps asking herself why she's here with him, asking herself if this is what Jannah —or Mando for that matter — would consider risky behavior. They're more or less isolated here, though he's cornered her in worse situations and done her no real harm. Like last night, she isn't at all prepared to deal with him if he changes his mind about that. But also like last night, she doesn't get the feeling that he's a threat. At least not until she's actually arresting Han.

His behavior is so chill today. Has he picked up on her decision to take her time arresting Han? Or has she somehow convinced him that she isn't interested in that anymore?

Except she still is. Isn't she?

"This is my favorite place at the market," he says. "They're not in a great spot, admittedly, so they suffer a bit in the winter months when it's the off-season. I like to give them my business as often as I can."

Rey studies his face and tries to see the portrait of a man who could callously turn his back on parents who loved him. She can't see it, and it baffles her.

He glances at her, perhaps expecting some kind of response, so she drags her attention away from him to flit around the tiny restaurant.

"What do you like about it?"

He settles his elbows on the table, leaning into it comfortably. "I like that it isn't crowded. And Mai makes the best swai fish."

"Swai?" Rey wrinkles her nose. "Never heard of it."

"It's sometimes called Basa," he says. He's doing the same thing to her as she was doing to him a moment ago, studying her like a question he's trying to answer.

She shrugs a single shoulder. "Honestly, my experience with fish is kind of limited. Mostly to the stuff that comes in cans."

This amuses him. He doesn't laugh, but it plays at the corner of his mouth, distracting and charming. "This is a good introduction, then."

She taps the honey jar in his bag. "You some kind of foodie, then? You seem to like showing off your favorite flavors."

"Not a foodie," he says, but thoughtfully, like he hasn't considered this. To her other point, he says nothing. For a moment she thinks he might, but he works it between his teeth and lets the words die unsaid.

Instead, he switches topics. "How's your mechanic gig working out?"

This puts her suddenly on edge. She gives him a sideways look. "I'm not abandoning my contract with the bail bond company, if that's what you're asking."

"It isn't, but that's good to know."

Ben is clearly relaxed, so Rey tries to relax too. It's almost impossible, with him sitting there like a live wire, making her nerves buzz with electricity. Kriff, why can't she just react to him like a normal person? Being with him sets her teeth on edge, and she doesn't know if she wants to tase him and run away or drag him to her and...and...and what?

She sits back in her seat and addresses him without the suspicion. "The shop gig is good. I enjoy the work. The boss is an imbecile, but that just works in my favor."

"How do you mean?"

"He mostly stays in his office, only coming out to grouch at everyone once in a while. I value my autonomy, so I like that he's not micromanaging everything all the time."

"Interesting," Ben says, and strangely, Rey actually believes he _is_ interested. Like this is a topic that intrigues him, instead of being banal chit-chat. "You'd probably do well with your own place, I imagine."

"My own shop?" This thought has never occurred to her. She tastes the flavor of it and smiles a little. "Now that would be paradise. I could focus on the kinds of things I love most, like restoring classics."

"Specialize in restoration." Ben nods, and that little half-smile is back. "I can see why you get along with my father."

"But if he has such a love for the classics, why did he let his Westie get into that kind of shape?"

Ben huffs a sardonic laugh. "A question you could ask about many things in Han's life."

Rey cocks her head and peers at him, wondering if he will perhaps expound on that comment so clearly laced with meaning. He doesn't.

Mai brings out two small steaming plates of delicate white fillets surrounded by bell peppers and onions. The fish fillet is sprinkled with a myriad of spices, and the smell makes Rey's mouth water.

"Thank you," Ben tells her.

She gives him a wink and heads back to the kitchen.

He stands and gets them some plastic utensils and napkins from the counter. He slides her across the table to her before settling in to his own plate. "And Rose is your coworker and this shop?"

"At Niima Auto, yeah." Rey applies her knife to the fish, and it separates under the lightest touch, buttery smooth. "She's fun to work with. I like her a lot."

"You seem to be able to make friends easily."

Ben eats all prim and proper, and Rey feels ridiculously intimidated. He holds his plastic utensils like they're made of silver and when he lifts a bit to his mouth, everything is so tidily arranged not a single drip escapes into his lap. Rey glances at her own fork and grimaces. How is she supposed to take even a single bite when he's watching? She knows too well that she turns into a desperate animal at the first taste of food. Mando has always teased her for how she attacks her meals like someone is about to take it away. He does it gently, knowing her history. She's not embarrassed to eat around him. But Ben is very, very different.

"I have never been able to make friends like this before," she says honestly, using the conversation as a distraction to keep from having to take that first bite. "High school was rough."

"Lonely," he guesses with deadly accuracy.

She nods. "Very."

He takes another perfect bite, and after swallowing says offhand, "Me too."

"But you're — _oh my God._" She cuts herself off with that ardent whisper, having managed to sneak a taste when he reached for his water. The flavors of the meal overwhelm her. The fish is not the least bit fishy, but instead imbued with all the artful symphony of spices and peppers, garlic and onion, so perfectly balanced as to be the very definition of gourmet.

Ben regards this reaction with an expression that is hard to read, but satisfaction glitters in his space-dark eyes and a small smile settles at that favorite corner of his mouth. "You approve, then?"

"I definitely approve," she gasps, immediately indulging in a second, much more generous bite, and then a third. If she isn't careful, she's going to have this whole plate clean in thirty seconds and then he'll know she's a garbage urchin after all. She forces herself to slow down long enough to finish what she tried to say a moment ago. "You're from a famous family. How could you possibly have been lonely in high school?"

"I would argue it's precisely because of that fame that I was." His satisfaction is giving way to entertainment as he watches her overly careful movements. "But I don't particularly want to talk about that. Tell me about your friends."

"Tell me about your job," she counters.

His gaze sharpens, caution in them now, fully aware of the deflection. "I imagine you already know where I work."

"Yeah, of course. I'd be bad at my job if I didn't try to find whatever information I could about you."

"Did you find much?"

"Not much, no."

"Good."

"But what do you _do_ at Empire? You don't strike me as the nerdy tech type who develops or programs new products."

He smirks. "Not a tech type, but maybe more of a nerd than you'd think."

"Liar. There's no way. And anyway, you didn't answer the question."

"And you didn't answer mine."

She frowns. He smirks. There is a brief standoff, and then he relents, taking a moment to savor another bite and a swig of water. Then he inhales deeply and gives her an honest answer.

"I'm basically the bulldog of the Director of Operations. My official title is Operational Administrator, but what it means is that whatever the director needs done, I make sure it happens."

"Like an assistant?" Rey doesn't think Ben looks like the coffee-fetching type.

"No. Like, if a department is failing to meet deadlines or quotas, I'm the one who brings the pain. I'm the enforcer."

She winces. "Yikes. That can't be a fun job."

"You'd be surprised. Intimidation is surprisingly intoxicating."

"Yeah, but nobody likes you. That means you're lonely at work now too."

His gaze lifts from his food to stare at her.

She clears her throat and qualifies her statement. "I mean, maybe you're not. Maybe it feels good. I just think it's gotta be draining after a while to have everyone hate you."

He says nothing for a long time, and Rey wonders if she's offended him. She doesn't want to see the confirmation of it, so she focuses on finishing her food in the same deliberate way she began. She's still done way before him.

"It is," he finally says. "It is draining."

She wants to ask him about Skywalker Institute and why he left, but she can feel in her bones that it's not the right time. This encounter has been…surprisingly pleasant. She doesn't want to make things awkward and tense again.

"Bounty hunting is kind of like that," she admits, giving him this peace offering. "Nobody is glad to see you except the bail bondsman who sent you out in the first place."

"Why do you do it, then?" Now he's the one searching her face, and the scrutiny makes her feel unusually flushed again.

"Well, someone has to."

"Why do _you_ do it, though? Some people don't care about being hated. I suspect you do."

She bristles at this observation — what arrogance has allowed him to make these kind of assumptions about her? But then, that isn't really fair. She's making all kinds of observations and assumptions about him too. Less guesswork and more intuition. Besides, he's not wrong. Rey hasn't been willing to admit it to herself before, but any time she's accompanied Mando, she experiences a stab of rejection when she sees the anger in people's eyes the moment they show up. It's not a feeling that is compatible with the job, so she ignores it. But it's there. Ben has pinpointed it and made her uncomfortable, that's the only reason she doesn't like it.

"I have to do this," she says after a second.

"Why?" The question is gentle, but pressing.

She doesn't want to answer it. "I just have to, okay?"

"I was right before, about someone you love does this, wasn't I?"

The warmth in her chest grows cold and she throws him a resentful look. "Drop it. It doesn't matter."

"It matters to me," he says, and now there is a little bit of steel infiltrating his tone too. "It's the reason you are trying to take my father."

"If you need someone to blame for that, blame him," she fires back. "He's the one smuggling illegal goods and skipping bail. If it weren't me here to grab him, it would just be someone else."

"I do blame him," Ben says, frowning. "But isn't someone else here, it's you."

She is getting flustered, and the desire to flee wells up in her with sudden urgency. "How much do I owe you for lunch?"

"Nothing."

"I insist—"

"Why do you feel you have to do this job, Rey?" He presses, leaning forward.

Rey leans forward to, the bite in her voice growing sharper — she can feel him backing her into a corner again, and she doesn't like it. "Why did you betray your family and go to Empire?"

A curtain falls over his features now, the mildness and relaxation gone in favor of the hard, angry man she's seen before. "You think you know something about that because of what _Luke_ told you?"

Rey doesn't flinch from his fiery glare, but meets it with equal venom. "You think you know something about my life just because I've answered a few of your questions?"

The truth settles over the table and empty plates, chilly and unyielding. Whatever this strange afternoon has meant, they are clearly _not_ going to be friends.

Rey gets up, giving him a stiff nod. "Thanks for lunch. If you feel like stalking me again, I'll be at your father's shop, fixing his car. Don't worry — he's safe," she gave him a steely smirk, "as long as Chuy is there."

Ben's jaw tightens but he says nothing.

Rey doesn't wait to see what might happen if they let that silence grow. Instead she walks away.

* * *

**A/N:** phew, long chapter, folks! I considered splitting it, but nah, we'll just leave it as one behemoth instead. This fic is a bit of a slow burn, if you haven't already figured that out, but I promise steady progress :)

Your reviews are very much appreciated, keep them coming!


	9. Chapter 9

chapter nine: catalyst in broken glass

* * *

"You are mega-distracted today," Rose says, picking up the hose clamp Rey has been hunting the last ten minutes.

Rey takes it gratefully. "Thanks. I know. I'm sorry."

"Problems with the roomies?"

"No. They're never a problem." Rey leans into the open hood of the Subaru where she's replacing a melted heater hose.

"Is it…" Rose lowers her voice and looks around conspiratorially, "Is it related to your _other_ job?"

"Yeah," Rey sighs. "It is."

Hunting Han has become a huge problem. And it's entirely because she no longer wants to arrest him. She has gotten _way_ too involved, ignoring Luke's advice to stay away completely. Every day for the last three days since her bizarre lunch with Ben, she's been at Han's shop, working on the Westfalia, talking to him about cars and motorcycles and engines of all kinds, talking about life — always without personal details — and about music and even about smuggling. He's relaxed enough to tell her that he sometimes steals portions of Empire or even Skywalker shipments and sells the pricy electronics at penny value to low-income communities, especially immigrant communities. He says he does other stuff too, but she doesn't need to know the details.

All Rey can feel when she's with him is this overwhelming sense that _this_ is everything she's been wanting in a father. Mando would sometimes talk to her like this, but those moments were rare. Where Han is gregarious and outgoing, Mando is introverted and accustomed to long silences.

Luke told her not to look for a father in Han, but she can't help it. He's likable, and his soul has a familiar feeling. Rey soaks up his approbation like water in the desert. And Chuy is great too — he's aloof but genial, and he enjoys making her laugh when he can. She's become as fond of him as she has Han.

"Is it always this complicated?" Rose asks her.

Rey pulls herself back out of the hood, grabbing a screw driver before diving back in. "No, it's not. I'm making it way harder than it has to be. Usually you'd have a partner. If I did, we'd have grabbed him already because I'd have help dealing with the big guy acting as his bodyguard."

"Ohhh, I see. So because you're solo, you have to proceed in a different way," says Rose. Rey has told her about Mando and his strange religion and their test of adulthood.

"I've made a lot of mistakes with this case," Rey admits into the engine block, carefully setting aside a flare of longing when Rose uses that word which is also a name. "I don't really know if I'm gonna pass this test."

"If you can't do it, would you go home without him?"

"Definitely not. I have to figure out a way to get this done. There's no other option."

Which is maybe why she feels so miserable. At some point, she just has to grit her teeth and put this man she's come to admire into custody.

From the other bay, the other mechanics - most of them boys in their late teens, early twenties - start whistling and shouting loudly to each other. Rey is too far buried in the nose of this car to see what the big deal is, but she doesn't really care. They're like a pack of puppies, she's come to learn, excitable and hyper, getting worked up over everything.

"What are they howling about now?" Rose says in exasperation, moving away to go figure it out.

Rey doesn't stop working until she hears Rose's exclamation of disbelief. She pauses, and then her Rose is at her side again. "Rey, you're not gonna believe what just pulled up."

She extricates herself from the Soob and wipes her hands on a rag, coming around the other side of the car to see what all the fuss is about. And then she sees it. And her heart stutters, almost stopping cold in her chest when she takes in the menacing, glossy black Maserati sitting there outside the open bay like some kind of crouched predator. Its windshield has a large, shattered impact point and big cracks spreading from it in lacy spiderwebbing patterns.

Clearly she can see the problem, but why on earth is he here?

_And who did he piss off now?_ She wonders wryly as Ben gets out of the car and heads straight towards her. He looks like he's just come from work. As always, he is extremely well put together.

"What are you doing here?" she demands.

"And what happened to your gorgeous car?" Rose chimes in.

Ben is stiff and awkward as he glances between them. "A coworker."

"A coworker did this?" Rey glances back at the shattered window, and part of her feels smug that she guessed correctly, but another part of her is annoyed that someone would take out their anger towards him on such a beautiful machine.

He nods once, his mouth hard and unhappy. "Can you fix it?"

"How did you figure out where I work?" Rey deflects, giving him a scrutinizing glare. She still has a lot of complicated feelings about that impromptu lunch from a few days ago — a lunch which Jannah, Finn, and Poe all insist was _most definitely_ _a date_, but which Zorri cooly says doesn't need a label. Rey isn't that eager to see him again. "And secondly, don't you have a specialized mechanic who handles your luxury car needs? Probably the dealership is a better option than this scuzhole."

He exhales a long, exasperated breath. "You said the name of this place last time we talked. I happened to be listening, believe it or not, and remembered. Secondly, the dealership is half an hour away. I can't see very well to drive, and this place was much closer. It was the safer option. So can you do it or not?"

By now Plutt has heard the commotion and is lumbering out of his office, a walking pile of goo crammed into a jumpsuit, a few wisps of wiry hair still clinging to his pink scalp. His face is always flushed like he's run a marathon, and it flushes even brighter at the sight of Ben's car.

"What's going on here?" he demands, giving Rose and Rey the stink-eye.

"I have a cracked windshield," Ben explains coolly, looking Plutt up and down with unveiled disdain. Rey might bristle at his imperial attitude if she didn't actually feel the same way about her boss. "I need it replaced."

"Right away, Sir, of course," says Plutt in sticky-sweet tones of accommodation. "It'll cost a pretty penny, both for the parts and labor. My boys are good. Their work isn't cheap. But I suspect you know the value of paying for quality, with a fine automobile like that."

Rose clears her throat and turns her head away from Plutt, saying softly under her breath, "Watch out, he'll rob you. He always overcharges by a mile."

Ben doesn't glance at her, but Rey knows he's heard it. His eyes narrow on Plutt.

"I'm well aware of what it should cost."

Plutt's tiny eyes get even tinier when he tries, and fails, to smile pleasantly. "Well I will _personally_ oversee the work so I can guarantee no mistakes are made."

"No, that isn't necessary." The authority in Ben's voice is unmistakeable. It's both intimidating and, for Rey, a little thrilling. He gestures towards Rey and Rose. "In fact, I insist no one touch my car but these two."

The saggy face of their employer turns towards the two women, his non-existent eyebrows arching skeptically. "Them? Why them?"

"We've - we've worked together before," Rey says quickly.

Ben nods once. "I trust her work. If you can't guarantee that no other hand will be laid on my car, I'll take my business elsewhere."

"No, no, no, no," Plutt says hastily, lifting two meaty hands in surrender. "No need for that. You can have the girls. Means nothing to me, so long as you pay your bill at the end of it and I don't get sued."

"I bet it's a fetish thing," one of the teenage boys whispers to the other. "I bet they roleplay this scenario in the bedroom."

"Gross." His friend shoves him.

"Why else would he want just the girls to work on it?"

"I don't care what it is, I'm just sad we don't get to touch it," a third whispers back.

Rey shoots them an icy look and they all quiet down. Rose is busy assuring Plutt that she can handle the paperwork and the billing, that he doesn't need to worry about anything. Ben is paying attention to them, and hopefully has not heard the immature pack of children over there.

Rey tunes back into the actual adults doing business here. "Look up the part number too, Rose. We definitely don't have it in stock. We'll have to send someone to go get it from the dealership."

"I will!" says one of the boys eagerly. "I'll go right now! Mister Plutt, I'm taking the truck. Rose, text me with the part number."

Plutt growls something under his breath and shakes his head. He seems to have given up on all of them, because in short order he's lumbering back to his office. Rey breathes a sigh of relief. Ben glances at her. Rose runs off to the computer to look up the part number and start the paperwork, so Rey turns and faces him fully.

"So I guess you got what you wanted. We're doing this."

He is studying her again, curious and perceptive. The bladed edge of authority is gone now, softened into fascinated observation. "You don't hate it."

"Ben, you car is ridiculously nice. I don't get to work on machines like that very often. Of course I don't hate it."

"It seemed like you wanted to say no." His deep voice carries no reproach, only genuine interest. And it makes her want to throttle him because how can she properly mount a defense against him when he talks to her like that?

"Good," she says a little testily. "Don't want you thinking I'm always going to be a willing participant in your little games."

"I'm not playing games with you, Rey," he says. His gaze drifts over their surroundings and she gauges his reaction to it. Does he judge her for finding meaning and purpose in a little grease pit like this? Does he see something shabby and shameful? Like Rose, does he think she's operating beneath her potential? Why can't she read him? And for that matter, why does she care at all what he thinks?

"The repair will take a couple hours," she says warily.

"That's fine."

"Rose will have you leave your number. We'll call you when it's ready."

His attention returns to her. "Oh. No need. I'm not leaving."

Rey makes a soft scoffing sound, giving him an incredulous look. "You want to wait here for two hours? We don't have a customer lounge. There's nothing but a couple stools in the bays. It's not comfortable."

"It's fine." He smirks.

"You just told Plutt you trusted me to take care of your car. You don't need to stay to supervise."

His expression grows, and she glimpses too easily how much he enjoys making her squirm like this. His delivery is mild when he says, "I don't have any reason to trust you, but from what you told me before I definitely don't want _him_ anywhere near this."

Rey rolls her eyes to the sky. _This man_. She turns away before he can read anything of what she might be thinking.

"You two, finish the heater hose on the Subaru," she commands the other two boys. To Ben, she says, "I'll need the keys."

He pulls them out of his pocket and drops them into her hand. There is only one key on his keyring besides the car fob. House key, no doubt. Very utilitarian. No key rings, no tassels. They're nothing like Rey's own, which are a jangling mess of mementos and curiosities.

Her glance flicks back to him, and he is watching her in that studious way he wore at their _definitely-not-a-date_ lunch. She flits away with his key and happily climbs into the seat of that glorious car. It's just as nice the second time around - nicer even, with her hands on the steering wheel. She turns the key and it snarls to life, as if it wants revenge for whoever maimed it. Rey shivers with pleasure. This is a good car.

She guides it deftly into the open bay, regretting how brief her chance to drive it was, and hesitating just a moment before getting out. But there's work to be done and Rose is already on her way back for the paperwork for Ben. So Rey climbs out and puts the keys into her own pocket.

"Wanna tell me how it happened?" she asks when Ben wanders into the bay after her.

"Not particularly." He locates a stool and wheels it over, not so close to be in the way. He settles in for the long wait.

Rose presents him the documents allowing them to work on his car, and he signs them. She gives him a knowing grin. "So was it a boss or a subordinate?"

"Neither," says Ben. "We don't work in the same department, but we report to the same director. He is aggressively irritating."

Rey takes a paper from Rose and begins a careful inspection of his car, ready to jot down any previous damage she can find. Her initial walk-around shows nothing, so next she uses her hands, running her fingers over surfaces, feeling for imperfections, careful and probing, worshipful in her ardor, gliding over that sleek glossy finish. She can feel Ben watching her closely, but she doesn't dare turn to him because if she sees the look she knows instinctually that he must be wearing, she's going to blush and he will know that she is indeed thinking of the same thing he is.

"So how did he get your windshield without damaging anything else?" she asks instead, to get them both to think about other things.

"I believe he threw something," Ben says.

"Believe?" Rose laughs. "You weren't there when it happened?"

"I was," Ben admits begrudgingly. "He did throw something."

"Good thing." Rose is cheerful, and Rey is grateful for her. "If he'd gotten to it without you, he might not have just stopped at your windshield."

Ben makes a low sound of agreement.

"Lovely co-workers you have," Rey remarks dryly, straightening and giving the car one last admiring glance. Not a single imperfection to be found, except for the window, of course. "Okay, Rose. I think we can get started."

Rose grins. "Ready, doctor."

"Your coworkers are gems too," Ben observes.

Both women look over to see that the boys in the other bay are not working on the Subaru at all. They're perched around it, ready to pretend they've been working if Plutt comes out again. They're watching the work on the Maserati with eager eyes and bated breath.

"What are you doing?" Rose demands, and they all jump and scatter like birds chased out of a parking lot.

Rey laughs as Rose gives her a wide-eyed glance and shakes her head. They get to work, and it isn't all that exciting at first. Rey gently removes the windshield wipers and sets them aside. She pops the hood so that she can Rose can carefully remove the cowl and other plastic pieces around the windshield. The work slowly and methodically, unwilling to rush, careful not to force anything that does not easily give.

After everything is removed that can be, they each get inside the car and use twin power tools, a sort of blade on the end of a jig, to delicately separate the glass from the frame. They do this even more slowly and carefully. The loud whine of the tools fills the cab of the car and spills out into the bay, but it sounds more alarming than it is. The price of carelessness is enormous, so both women conduct themselves with extreme caution during this tricky part.

When that is done, they carefully, carefully lift the big swath of broken window away.

Throughout it all, Rey can feel Ben watching them. She is hyper aware of his presence, as if every cell of her body not needed for the car keeps reminding her that he is there.

It is easier to talk after the glass is off, so she decides to address her nerves by trying to talk to him.

"Do you even like your job?" she asks as she and Rose begin to strip the old urethane off the pinch weld.

He'd admitted it was draining last time she talked to him, and she got the feeling, with that same mysterious knowing she sometimes had, that he despised his work. But she knew if she called him out on it directly, he'd resist. She'd do the same thing, if the roles were reversed.

"Why wouldn't I?" he asks, watching them scrub the pinch weld clean.

"The company you work for is highly corrupt and universally hated. You're someone else's lapdog," she lists, "and this terrifying enforcer who nobody likes. Also your coworkers annoy you and willfully destroy your property without repercussions. Are you having a good time there at all?"

Ben's mouth draws a hard line but he doesn't reply. Rose glances between them, wisely keeping her thoughts to herself for the moment. Rey is fine to let Ben ruminate on his answer while they finish preparing for the new glass.

The runner returns just in time. All the boys jump in to help him offload it from the truck, and Rey nearly has a heart attack watching them do it. But eventually the new windshield is in the bay and Rose makes everyone leave again so she and Rey can focus. They inspect the new windshield for flaws and then set to pulling off the stickers and washing it clean.

"You enjoy this work a lot," Ben observes.

Rey doesn't look over at him. "Yeah, I do."

"More than the other job."

He doesn't ask the next part, but Rey can feel it unsaid anyway. She is prepared to snap back if he says it aloud, because she's already feeling conflicted enough about her assigned job over the one she enjoys a lot more. If he chooses to poke at that wound again, she will bite.

But he doesn't.

The next hour passes in relative quiet as they apply the new urethane to the pinch weld and attach enormous suction cups to the new glass. When everything is at last ready, the two women lift it and place it on the car, pressing the edges in tight to make sure it bonds well. They remove the cups and apply strong tape to the edges.

"Poor thing," Rose says, stepping back to admire their work. "All bandaged up like that. Kind of takes away some of its menacing aesthetic."

Ben stands up to assess the work. He gives Rose a nod. "She is compromised, yes. But repaired. She looks better than she did when we arrived."

A phone call interrupts them, and Ben glances at his screen. His mouth pulls into a frown and he excuses himself, striding out into the parking lot as he lifts the phone to his ear.

"We did good here," Rose concludes.

"Yeah," Rey agrees. They start re-installing the pieces they took off initially, but Rey goes more slowly than she needs to, glancing out at Ben now and then, trying and failing to not be curious about the phone call.

His body language has completely changed. He's pacing around the lot, his movements stiff and full of barely repressed rage. His face has become a mask of anger, and while she can't hear what he's saying, she can hear that he is shouting, arguing with whoever is on the other end. It sends a shiver down her spine, this evidence of how scary he could have been in that tunnel if he really had meant her harm.

Rose busies herself cleaning up after they finish, but she keeps glancing out at Ben too. "You know, this isn't really how I thought this day would go."

"Me neither," Rey admits. "But that's starting to be the theme whenever he turns up."

A minute later, Ben returns. His fine face is wreathed in wrath, and Rey can almost believe she sees steam sizzling from him in his anger.

"Work?" she guesses.

He nods once, his jaw tightening.

"Looks like it was a pleasant conversation," she assesses wryly.

"The best," he says, glaring at nothing in particular, his voice cruel with sarcasm. She doesn't feel the sting of it, though. It isn't meant for her.

"Well," she ventures a little more gently, closing the hood of his car. "The good news is that we're done here. I'll just make the last inspection to document that we didn't damage the car at all, and then you can take it."

Ben affirms this, but Rey isn't sure it's really paying attention. There is clearly a lot on his mind. While he broods, she moves over the car again, repeating her earlier performance of inspecting it carefully again. When the exterior is finished, she pops inside the make sure they didn't damage anything on the interior. Nope. It is still in perfect condition.

Fishing the key out of her pocket again, she once more gets behind the wheel and deftly maneuvers it out of the bay while Rose settles the bill with Ben. She gets back out, and he joins her outside. She puts the keys back in his hand.

"Leave the tape on for two days," she instructs, "and if you have secured covered parking - which you better with valuable equipment like this - leave the windows down about an inch so the urethane cures quicker."

Ben nods. His anger is cooling now, and Rey can see that what it leaves behind is undeniable unhappiness. He doesn't immediately move to get in his car and drive away, so Rey summons her courage and gently touches his hand.

"Hey," she says softly.

His gaze darts to her touch, and then to her face.

She searches his dark eyes, trying to find the comfortable man she met at the fish market. He isn't there. The person in those inky wells is caged and hurting. "Life is too short to be miserable all the time. You don't _have_ to submit yourself to a career you hate just because it offers a lot of money."

His brow furrows and his plump lips pull into a frown. "It's complicated."

"So uncomplicate it. What would you rather be doing with your life?"

His look is so intense, so stormy and uncertain and hungry, that Rey almost takes a step back from him. But she doesn't. She knows instinctually that he needs someone to pull him out of his cage.

"I don't know," he finally admits. "I've never asked myself that question before."

"Well..." Rey thinks, and then says with a small grin, "I'm guessing you have a comfortable investment portfolio, if you can have an animal like this car in your menagerie. If that's the case, why don't you quit Empire and take some time to figure yourself out? Chase happiness, whatever that looks like for you."

"Why do you care?" he asks. It isn't confrontational, but it isn't exactly charming either. "I've been nothing but a nuisance to you. Why the sudden interest if I'm happy in my job or not?"

"Why do _you_ care that I like working on cars more than I do hunting down fugitives?" she returns.

"The obvious answer is that I'd rather you shifted your focus to this instead of hunting my father." But the way he says it makes her think the obvious answer isn't the only answer.

So she takes a moment to ask herself the same question. Why it is they've become interested in seeing each other find better paths to walk in life. As annoying as he has been, as frustrating at his meddling has become, she can't bring herself to wish bad things for him. There's some kind of connection here that she doesn't understand, and she thinks that maybe if he is able to heal the rifts in him, she can heal the ones in hers.

"Everyone deserves a chance at a fulfilling life," she says eventually. "Even if we don't get it right the first time, we always have the opportunity to make new choices."

He studies her for a long time. Then, unexpectedly, he says, "You're right."

"I am?" This startles her. She fully expected him to get all broody and mysterious and leave without ever letting her know if her words had meant anything at all to him.

"I'm not living a fulfilling life. Empire is a hellhole. I should leave it."

"Yes," she says, excitement illuminating her whole being. Her eyes widen. "You absolutely should."

He grimaces. "I say that, but I don't know if I can actually do it."

"Why not? Are your bosses really so scary?"

"More like...persuasive." He frowns. "They're going to make it difficult. Because of who I am, my...family connections, I'm a big asset. They won't like me trying to quit."

"Do you need help? I'll help you." She doesn't know why she offers, but the moment it's out of her mouth, it feels right. She touches his hand again. "You could call me, and I could be in your ear on bluetooth or something. Moral support. Or I could come with you and wait in the lobby. Then you won't be alone."

He draws a shaky, unstable breath and shifts his attention beyond her, out at the city and the bustle of commerce. Looking at him like this, she sees that spark of loneliness she recognizes so well, and suddenly she knows why she offered to help him.

Beneath the carefully constructed mask of imperviousness, she recognizes his vulnerability. His insecurity. And a profound, unidentifiable emotion rolls over his features as he glances down at her again.

"Come with me."

"Okay," she says immediately, and follows it with a little smile.

"Tomorrow."

"Give me the address, and I'll be there."

He extends his hand. "No, I'll pick you up. Give me your phone."

She does, unlocking it and placing it in his hand. Warmth pinks her cheeks as she watches him add his contact information.

"Text me where you want to meet," he says, and hands his over to her so she can do the same.

She taps her number in and creates the new contact, feeling a little flushed at this unexpected exchange.

When she gives him back his phone, his expression is calmer. A little grin even plays there in subtly. "If you're planning on still being in town tomorrow, does that mean I don't have to monitor your activities when you inevitably go hang out with my father?"

Rey laughs. "Take the night off. Your father is safe for now."

That small grin almost grows into a smile. Almost. Instead he nods and pulls his car door open to finally leave. "Thank you for your help."

"See you tomorrow," she says brightly.

Rey steps back as his mean-but-not-so-scary car growls to life and he pulls away. She turns and heads back into the shop.

Rose pounces on her immediately. "What was that?"

"What was what?"

"You guys talking — it looked like you were actually being _nice_ to each other. And you touched his hand! Twice!"

Rey laughs and turns away so Rose can't see the secret pleasure hidden in her smile right now. But she does admit quietly, "He was so unhappy. I couldn't help it."

Rose grins a cheeky, Cheshire-Cat grin. "Careful now, Rey. He's handsome and very rich and has a weird fascination with you. That's a recipe for catching feelings if I've ever seen one."

Rey laughs again. "Don't worry, it's exceptionally hard for me to catch feelings like that. Besides, I thought you said he was rude?"

"He is. Or was," Rose says, eyes wide. "But when he's not being rude, he's really hot."

Rey laughs this off too, and they finish up the rest of their shift working on decidedly less exciting cars. When she's done, she stops by Millennium Auto to see if the paint they ordered as come in yet, but Han isn't there. Chuy gives her an enthusiastic greeting, explaining that Han had some other business going on and he'd be back tomorrow. Rey promises to stop by again.

She goes back to Poe and Zorri's. Finn and Jannah are getting home from work about the same time. Jannah is a little drained from a difficult day, so Zorri cajoles her into helping her and Poe prepare dinner. Rey jumps in too, and soon the apartment is full of goofy antics and a lot of laughter.

That night, when Rey finally climbs into bed, her heart is almost full. It's only missing two people. If they were here, everything else would be perfect.

She sends a quick text to Mando.

_Hey, how's Dyn?_

She gets an immediate reply.

_**MANDO: **Good. Misses you._

Rey thinks of his infectious little grin and smiles. It isn't surprising that Mando doesn't follow up his text with a question about how the assignment is going. He probably doesn't want to know. But she feels too good to begrudge him for that right now, so she replies:

_I miss him too._

Then, pausing, she adds another.

—_I miss both of you._

She exits out of that message and scrolls through her contacts, looking for her newest addition. She taps **Ben Solo** and composes a brief message:

I_'m not going to either work tomorrow, so I'm free whatever time works for you._

She includes the address of Poe and Zorri's at the bottom of the text and sends it away.

A few minutes later she gets a reply:

**BEN:** _I'll be there at nine._

Rey rolls over and sets her phone on the nightstand, grinning into her pillow as she settles in. So the boy wants to get an early jump on his new life, does he? Well, she can appreciate that. Didn't she too immediately set off for Seattle the moment she got her assignment?

Jannah is already deep asleep, her light, faint snores the only sound in the otherwise silent room — until Rey's phone buzzes loudly against the nightstand. She snatches it up lightning fast, something inside her leaping in anticipation that it might be a follow-up text from Ben. But it isn't.

**Mando:** _I m__iss you too, kid._

* * *

**Author's** **Notes: **A long chapter ahead! :D And to my guest commenter asking about their perceptions: it's a little of both. They are both deeply intuitive, which means sometimes they can get insights they shouldn't otherwise have, but mostly they connect on this shared sense of loneliness in worlds they shouldn't actually be lonely in. So I'd say it's still a mix.


	10. Chapter 10

chapter ten: i guess i'll hold you tight

* * *

Rey wakes by 6:00 the next morning. Nervous energy courses through her veins, driving her out of bed before anyone else is awake. She goes for a run on the treadmill Zorri keeps in her office, hoping this will burn off some of her anticipation. It doesn't. Maybe if she could jog the familiar walking trail outside the trailer park like she always did when something was on her mind...but there are no open fields where she can leave her buzzy feelings here. Only buildings and sidewalks and business people off to work.

She showers and spends more time getting ready than usual, trying to tell herself that the extra effort is only because she's not going to be getting herself messy at the shop or bugging out in tactical gear and staking out Han again. That's all it is. She leaves her hair down instead of putting it up like normal, and applies a little mascara where she usually doesn't wear any.

It's silly, and she knows it. But she doesn't wash it off.

Zorri is up a few minutes after Rey sits herself at the counter with a bowl of yogurt and granola. She takes one look at Rey and grins.

"Hey there, pretty girl. Whatcha got going on today?"

Rey clears her throat and focuses intently on her food. "'Not much. Just meeting with someone."

"A handsome someone?" Zorri teases.

Yes. But Rey shoots her friend a sideways glance anyway and hedges, "A professional someone."

Zorri's eyebrows raise in intrigue. She pours herself a cup of coffee. "Oh! Does this have to do with your little chat with Luke Skywalker?"

"Sort of, I guess. But it doesn't have to do with his company. It has to do with Empire."

Zorri grimaces into her cup. "Horrible brand. Why are you messing with them? Stay as far away as you can. They love to exploit people."

Rey doesn't take this opportunity to tell her that she's planning on walking right into the heart of the operation today. Instead, she pushes her food around with her spoon and says casually, "I'm not messing with them. I'm helping someone get out of there."

"Good luck to them, then. I used to work there a long time ago. They make it difficult to just walk away. But I hope this friend of yours can do it." Zorri appraises Rey's look again, smirks knowingly and adds, "Whoever he is."

She drifts off to do whatever it is she's gotten up to do, and Rey tries to focus on her breakfast, instead of the knot of anticipation curling in her stomach.

The others are up a while later. Finn races around like a madman, bellowing about being late for class before he barrels out the door. Jannah is distracted, texting back and forth with someone while she gets ready for work. Poe guzzles a protein shake and goes to work out. Nobody harasses Rey more about her unusual appearance. Just before Jannah leaves, she glances up and gives Rey a tiny smile.

"I think I might have a date tonight."

"Really?" Rey is pulling a few things together of her own. "You ready for that?"

"Not ready for it to go anywhere, no." Jannah shrugs, but there's still that little smile on her face. "But I am ready to have some fun and explore a bit. I've never dated anyone but Phas."

"So who is this person?"

"A coworker," says Jannah. "I know, I know, bad idea. But like I said, it's just casual fun."

Rey grins. "Well, enjoy yourself."

"You too." Jannah finally seems to notice Rey's altered look and her brows arch. "Wherever you're off to today."

After Jannah leaves, Rey checks the time and decides to head downstairs. It isn't raining today — at least not for now. It's one of Seattle's rare glorious autumn days, the sun bathing everything and everyone in golden light. Rey forgoes the rain jacket. She wants to feel every drop of that sunshine. She finds a decorative boulder outside the apartment complex and perches atop it, tilting her face to the sun and closing her eyes to its comforting warmth.

When she and Mando lived in California, she had sun all the time. She didn't appreciate it as much then as she does right now. Back she had just come from Arizona, and she was sunsick. All she craved was rain, and it pretty much never rained the whole time they lived there. One day it did, though, and the whole city of Fullerton went bananas, like it was the end of the world. She laughs a little to herself at the memory, observing the rain-hardy denizens of Seattle shedding their layers to bask like cats in the autumn sun. Funny how life works like that, she muses, closing her eyes once more and drinking in the light.

The sun is in a friendlier mood here than in Arizona, where it glares ferociously down on a baked landscape and turnes sidewalks into hot skillets. In Colorado it is a fickle thing, at times fierce and unforgiving, ready to inflict burns on skiers and hikers or just those caught off guard by the altitude, and at others, sweet and mild, like when it gives them 60-degree days in January.

Here it kisses her in fond affection, gentle in its greeting.

Rey only opens her eyes again when the aggressive rumble of an engine disrupts her peaceful rumination, cutting off directly in front of her. It isn't the deep-throated hum of the Maserati, though. It sounds like a motorcycle. She opens her eyes to glare mildly at at the intruder.

It _is_ a motorcycle. She takes in the smooth black lines with red accents, the crouching, waspish frame and the Beemer badge on its nose. She nods a little, suitably impressed. That is an expensive bike. The rider pulls off his helmet, and it's Ben, which doesn't surprise her. What does, though, is the way his lush hair doesn't seem at all affected by dreaded helmet head.

Hopping down off her rock, she makes her way over to him. "I like your other ride better, but this one is pretty nice too."

"The forecast called for something a little more open," he explains, and there is a hint of some kind of grin playing over his mouth. "Besides, yesterday's procedure left me feeling less comfortable driving around in the Maz today."

The way he says it conjures up in Rey's mind the image of the tiny psychic in handcuffs, and she smiles in private amusement. "The repair did that? The incident with your buddy should have been a big red flag way before I ever put the tape on," she says. "That's a pretty flashy car to be your daily driver. Your insurance must be insane."

He shrugs. "I don't mind. I like the car."

"Yeah, of course you do." She rolls her eyes good-naturedly. "Everyone likes that car."

He motions to the bike. "Have you ridden one of these before?"

"Nothing this fancy," she says, "But yeah. I'm comfortable on a bike."

"Have you been a passenger though?" He qualifies this carefully. "It's different than being a driver."

"Yes, I have," she sighs with impatience. He's being overly cautious, which is weird, and a little exasperating. But then, he doesn't know her history, how she made money in high school before working at the auto shop by buying broken motorcycles, fixing them, and selling them for a profit. She is extremely comfortable around bikes.

Come to think of it, though, she doesn't know his history either. She gives him a side-glance. "Okay, if we're doing safety checks — my turn. How much experience do you have on these things?"

Ben smirks. "I've been riding since I was a teenager."

"Have you ever driven with a passenger before? It's different than riding alone."

He nods. "I know. I have."

"Okay," she bobs her head once in satisfaction, drawing in a big breath. "Then I don't see us having a problem here."

He hands her a spare helmet — full mask, like his, but white, unlike his, which is black like everything else he owns, apparently.

"Intuitive choice of hairstyle," he says as she takes it from him, his perceptive glance taking in her appearance, and it sounds like a complement even though he just means it'll be more comfortable than jamming a bun into the helmet.

She slides it on. It fits exactly right. She lifts the visor. "Good?"

Another reserved suggestion of a smile curls at the corner of his lips. "Good. Before we go, I should warn you that I want to make a few stops before we end up at Empire. Is that alright with you?"

Her eyes narrow. Is this all a ploy to get her away from his dad's shop? To get her to spend time with him?

And if it is, does she actually mind?

After a moment of consideration, she nods. "Okay. Yes. I don't have anything else going on today. Whatever you want to do."

He puts his own helmet on, but not before she catches sight of an undeniable flash of pleasure in those sable eyes of his. He plants his feet to steady the bike and signals that he's ready.

She climbs on behind him, and that's when things get abruptly awkward. This is…close. It's really close. The second seat on the bike is small, requiring a lot more body contact than she anticipated. And she has to — _hold_ him. At the waist. Hold onto this relative stranger who first introduced himself by cornering her in a smuggling tunnel. Who may or may not be a terrible person willing to throw his family away like garbage. But who is undeniably beautiful and mysteriously compelling in a way she can't put her finger on. Someone she responds to in such a confusing, infuriatingly powerful manner. This is the person she has to embrace around the middle and cling to with her whole body while they hurtle through the air.

She sucks in a sharp breath. This isn't exactly what imagined would happen today.

Still, she grits her teeth and puts her arms around his waist, discovering that his jacket has convenient hand-holds ready made for a passenger. Jeez, how many times has he done this to need a riding jacket like that? She puts her feet up on the pegs, settling her thighs against his hips, and tries not to lean into him too much — but that will become a moot point the first time he breaks.

She's never felt this awkward being passenger on a bike before. But then, she's really only ridden behind Mando, and there's nothing weird about that. In fact, she used to cuddle up behind Mando and savor those rides as the closest thing she really got to a hug.

This … this is not like a hug.

Ben turns his head, and she gives him a nod that she's ready. The bike bursts to life beneath her, and then they are off.

* * *

Riding with Ben is _fun_.

He is skillful and smooth, the machine responding to his movements like it knows him, and they glide along the streets of downtown effortlessly. He takes the corners well, enough to give her a thrill from her toes to her fingertips, but not enough to make her think he's trying to give them road rash. His body is relaxed under her grip, and she finds herself sinking comfortably into him. He's not afraid of speed, but he's deft in his acceleration and his breaking so neither is a jarring experience. Their helmets only bump a couple times when Rey gets distracted trying to see over his shoulder at the speedometer and forgets to brace herself properly. Despite his speed, she can feel that this bike wants to go even faster than he's allowing. She wonders what it can do on an open salt flat.

And maybe it's good they can't talk. Then neither of them can say anything to provoke the other, and they can just enjoy this moment.

But it doesn't last. Soon he is pulling in to a line of cars and snaking his way over to a toll booth at the far left of all the lanes. He pays the fee, then edges past the other cars to line up behind the bicycles. Once planted, he cuts the engine and pulls off his helmet.

Rey lets go of him and takes hers off too, looking around. The cars and the bikes are waiting at the edge of a pier.

"A ferry?" she guesses.

Ben nods. "We're going to get coffee at my favorite place. It's over on Bainbridge."

Rey considers this curiously. The last time he took her to one of his favorite places, her friends had said it was _definitely_ a date. He's doing it again. And she has to wonder why. Why does he want to show her these places that are important to him? Why that flutter in stomach when she realizes she wants to see them?

"Is that alright?" he asks, turning his body so he can see her better.

Oh. She realizes she hasn't actually said anything, so quickly reassures him. "Yeah, it's good. Like I said, I'm up for anything."

"Hmm," he rumbles. "You may regret giving me that kind of liberty."

"Why?"

She sort of regrets asking it the moment the question leaves her, certain he's going to get that cheeky look on his face again, like she's suggested something, or made an innuendo she didn't intend, and then she's going to be annoyed and embarrassed.

But he doesn't. He just slides her an almost playful glance.

"This is a big place, and you've never been here before. We could waste the whole day, end up not going to Empire at all, and then I'll have bought my father another day."

"Ohhhh," she says in feigned epiphany, and no small degree of relief. "_That's_ what this is about. You don't actually intend to quit, you're just trying to distract me from my real purpose here."

"Guilty," he says, and she can almost, _almost_ hear a laugh behind the words. She marvels.

The ferry arrives and docks, the vehicles and passengers from the other side pouring out in a big gush of humanity. There are way more arriving than there are lined up to go. Commuters, Rey guesses.

They don't bother putting on the helmets for the short drive into the belly of the ferry. When they're parked, Ben takes the key out of his bike and drops it into his pocket. He locks the helmets onto the bike and then signals for her to follow. She does. He leads her up a flight of stairs, and then another, up and up to the topmost deck for a better view.

Rey gasps when they come through the door to the stairwell and the whole skyline of the city sprawls out on the shore before her. There is a big Ferris wheel one one of the nearby piers, and the skyscrapers rise by degrees up the steep Seattle streets. The sun paints everything in a sweet, nostalgic glow. The city shines. It doesn't look real.

"Wow," she says quietly. "It's so beautiful."

Probably Ben has seen this view a hundred times and no longer finds it fascinating, because he's not even looking at the skyline. He's watching her. Still, he nods. "I think so too."

The ferry starts to move and Rey watches the city slowly fall behind them for a few minutes, until eventually she turns to her companion.

"This is probably old hat to you, isn't it?"

He smirks. "Not today, it isn't."

"You really go to all this trouble for a cup of coffee?"

"It's really good coffee," he says smoothly, his gaze flashing with mischief.

Rey squints at him, but he turns around to survey the mostly-empty deck. There are a few other passengers taking in the view. One guy puts on his headphones and starts power-walking laps. The various areas for sitting are completely vacant.

He nods at them. "Shall we find a seat?"

They do, picking a bench with a nice view but that's out of the wind starting to wash in off the prow. Rey curls her legs up under her criss-cross, turning her body to face him and propping her elbow up on the back of the bench. She makes herself comfortable. He sits stiffly, as if he doesn't know what to do with his own body.

"You were kind of joking about not ending up at Empire, right? You _do_ want you quit, or don't you?" she asks, trying to read him and gauge his reaction.

He nods once."I do, yeah. Empire is a dead-end for me. I'm not fulfilled there, it's a terrible environment that makes me angry all the time. It's like you said, life's too short for that."

"What will you do after?"

Ben shrugs, his gaze leaping away from hers, towards a couple other passengers wandering the deck, taking in the view. "You were right when you guessed that I have assets that could support me. I don't have to come up with a plan right away." He pauses, and then adds carefully, "But to be honest, I'm not sure which direction to go in. I've never considered a life outside this industry. It's all I've ever known."

Rey is surprised at his candor. He's not being guarded and prickly. This is possibly the right time to ask him about his family, but Rey isn't going to do that right now. They're trapped on a boat on their way to an island, and the only way off is to get back on the boat — that's way too much time to be stuck with him if her prying leads to an argument.

So instead she asks lightly, "Well, what do you love?"

This gives him pause. He frowns, dark eyes darting in the search for an answer.

Rey doesn't know him well enough to supply any suggestions, except the only thing he's told her explicitly that he likes. "Except for hole-in-the-wall restaurants with little old ladies who make Swai fish, and fancy cars."

This coaxes a brief smile and a snort. "You got me. I do love those things."

Rey grins with triumph at having won that tiniest of concessions.

He glances at her, amused. "What about you? Do you _love_ bounty hunting? Is that why you do it?"

Ugh, damn him. He wants to talk about that again. Every time she manages to peel back a piece of his enigma, he pins her down and tries to do the same thing. She does not want to defend her career choice to him yet again. But she can't afford to get testy about it here. So rather than defend her vulnerable center with snark, she retreats.

She unfolds from the bench, wandering away from him and approaching the railing once again. It feels like the ferry moves slowly, but they're already good distance away from the city now, and into open water. She looks down at the waves and swells, deep indigo swirled with white foam. A stiff, cool wind sweeps around her, making her shiver.

After a minute, Ben comes up beside her. He leans his forearms on the railing and looks out at the Sound stretching far beyond them. He doesn't say anything.

They are two difficult, armored creatures trying to pry each other open. Trying to understand. This time, though, he isn't forcing the issue, and her defenses feel shaky at best.

Rey sucks in a deep breath. Time to be vulnerable. "You were right," she tells him.

"I usually am," he says, giving her a mischievous look. "What about?"

She rolls her eyes, but smiles a little despite herself. "Your theory that I want to be a bounty hunter because I want to emulate someone important to me. You were right."

His expression softens. He does not gloat in his victory, but watches her and waits for her to continue. She appreciates this. Feeling a little emboldened, she gives him the pieces of her puzzle he's been seeking.

"It's my…well, he's my guardian. Mando. He's been a bounty hunter for most of his life, and for as long as I've been with him, since I was ten. He doesn't want me to follow him, but I have to. I'm afraid…" she trails off.

Kriff. This is really hard. Her heart trips a little faster, nervous like she's stripping naked in front of him. This is so desperately personal.

"What are you afraid of?" Ben asks gently.

She looks up at him. The wind toys with his dark hair behind him, mussing it the way Rey's fingers itch to. His face his intent, listening as if she's telling him the most important thing in the world. His dark eyes are soft, full of genuine interest, like he really cares.

"I'm afraid that if I don't, if I don't make myself his partner, he'll move on without me. I'll fade out of his life, and Dyn's life. And I'll be alone again."

It hurts so much to say it out loud. A sharp lancing pain cuts through her chest at the admission. But when it's finally out of her heart and into the air, some of the tension inside her releases. She exhales slowly, willing the wind to dry up the unspilled water that has pooled in her eyes. Her next blink sends a single tear escaping down her cheek anyway.

Before she can wipe it away, Ben does it for her, his thumb gentle and his pressure feather-light as he wicks it off. She looks up at him and he pulls his hand back, looking away self-consciously.

"Sorry."

She doesn't say anything else, and for a minute, neither does he. Then he finds a way to drag his gaze back to hers and says with more intensity than she's ever heard, "That won't happen. You're not alone."

She still doesn't know the story of why he left SI or his family, she still doesn't really know as much about him as she should, but even so, his words land with powerful impact. He understands. Somehow, he understands exactly. She doesn't know how, but she can see it clearly: their pain is the same. And neither one wants the other to hurt like this.

Her gaze drops to his lips, and then away, her breath shaky. She swallows. "I don't want to arrest your father, Ben. I've broken the rules and gotten too close to him. But I must. I have to see this through to the end. For my…family."

She's not supposed to use that word.

But it's the only word she wants to use.

Ben's brow comes together a little in the middle, and he doesn't reply. She can't tell what he's thinking right now, he has become suddenly opaque in the last few seconds, and she wonders if he's angry that this moment she's given him doesn't change her trajectory.

But before she can get too far down this uneasy speculation, the ferry horn blasts, a shockwave of sound so close, so sudden, and so loud, it makes them both jump clean out of their skins and snatch at the railing. Their hands end up overlapped, Ben's fingers tight against her own, which they quickly flinch from as soon as the sound dissipates.

The sudden scare has broken the tension, at least.

"I guess that means we're here," Rey laughs, her heart still racing.

Ben passes a hand over his face, shaking his head as he tries to recover — and then the second blast sounds. It's so loud it feels like it's going to rattle their bones into a thousand pieces. Ben grabs for her and together they run for cover, dashing through the door and descending the steps into the second level cabin area where most of the other passengers are. The sound is muted and distant down here, and they can breath again. They aren't there for more than a second though when an announcement comes on, asking drivers to return to their vehicles, and then they descend again.

Rey can't stop laughing, and when they get back to the motorcycle, she sees that Ben is grinning too.

They don their helmets and Ben mounts first, steadying it so she can get on next. This time she doesn't feel quite as awkward about sliding her arms around his waist. In fact, if she's completely honest with herself, she kind of likes it.

* * *

They park in front of the coffee shop. It's a tiny little thing that would definitely miss the notice of anyone casually driving, or even walking by it. It's the kind of place you have to know to look for. It has a little sign above the door with no words on it at all, but a logo of a book open to a page of a steaming mug of coffee. It doesn't _look_ like a coffee shop from the outside. It looks like somebody's private book collection crammed into the window of an old house.

Ben opens the door for Rey to go in first.

Inside is pretty much the same as the outside. It doesn't look like a coffee shop at all. There are two plush couches and two plush armchairs arranged separately around two little coffee tables, and everything else is books. Shelves full of books, stacks of books piled in random places here and there, books sitting on a ladder you could use to to get to higher books, books under the chairs and couches, books everywhere.

A positively ancient little man comes out from one of the free-standing shelves, and Rey realizes it's disguising the door to another room. He smiles when he sees them.

"Welcome back, sir." He pulls a couple pieces of laminated paper off a shelf and shuffles over to them.

Ben gently brushes his hand against Rey's lower back, indicating they should sit. She picks one of the couches, and he sits on the other side of it, ample space between them. The old man hands them each a paper.

Ben hands his right back without glancing at it. "I'll have my usual."

Rey browses the menu briefly. "Can I get a peppermint hot chocolate?"

The old man smiles and nods. He shuffles away again.

Ben gives her an amused look. "Hot chocolate? Are you a child?"

She rearranges herself on the couch, curling up again and leaning her back against the armrest, throwing him a little glare without any venom. "I don't really love coffee, okay? It's bitter. I have to put in a ridiculous amount of sugar to make it bearable."

A cat jumps down from somewhere, startling Rey. It's a black-and-white tuxedo, a little pudgy, lamplight eyes yellow-green, its fur sleek and glossy. It rubs up against Ben's calf. He reaches down to scratch it.

"Actually, I don't know why I'm surprised," he says. "That seems to fit your personality."

"That I don't like coffee?"

He nods. The cat climbs into his lap and presses its forehead into his chest. Ben scrubs his fingers behind its ears and along its cheeks like he knows exactly what it wants. They seem like old friends.

"How do you find these tiny places?" Rey asks, tearing her attention away from this giant man and this little cat, taking in the books and the warm smell of old binding glue and paper. It's ridiculously cozy and charming.

"I pay attention," he says. "I like to try the places most people don't notice."

"You don't like crowds," she guesses.

He huffs a soft little laugh. "Yeah, I hate them."

Rey grins.

The cat settles down on Ben's lap, tucking its legs under it, making itself into a loaf.

"Besides," Ben says softly, swiping a finger between its ears one last time, "I enjoy supporting these little businesses. They usually haven't compromised any pieces of their authenticity in pursuit of profit. At least, not yet. They're still whole. I like that."

There is a sweet little ember glowing in Rey's chest, observing him speak so fondly of these hidden treasures of his, surrounded by books and a happy feline and the faint smell of roasted coffee beans. The warmth of this ember radiates throughout her chest, making her feel soft and comfortable and perfectly at ease. She could have never guessed when she woke up this morning that they'd end up sitting here like this, like the whole world could turn outside and nothing would disturb them in here.

"So do you come over here a lot? To Bainbridge?" Rey asks after a minute, her gaze flitting away before he can see the wonder and pleasure radiating through her face. He's too perceptive. He'll know that she likes this, and that will just feed his ego, probably.

The old man returns with their drinks and sets them on coasters on the table.

Ben glances at his coffee, then at the cat, who has now become a miniature motor, purring steadily. He doesn't move. "I used to live here, at Luke's house."

"Oh?" Rey leans over and grabs his mug for him, along with one of the napkins the old man set down. She hands it to him carefully so nothing spills. "I didn't know you lived with Luke."

He nods gratefully, his glance flashing up to her. "He didn't mention that?"

"No. He just said you intern'd with him at SI."

Ben's eyebrows lift, but in a look that is not surprise, closer to cynical expectation. He sips at his coffee. "Interesting that he left that out. My mother sent me to live with him when I was finishing high school. She thought he'd be a good influence on me."

"And was he?"

"No." He seems amused by the question.

Rey's hot chocolate tastes like a melted, creamy Andes mint. She curls into the coziness of it, her whole body relaxing. "This is really good."

Pleasure warms Ben's features. "He does well enough in the summer months with all the tourists here, but I think they're missing out. The cold of autumn and winter really bring out the best in his drinks."

Rey nods. "They come at the wrong time. This is perfect."

They each fall silent as they nurse their drinks, only the sound of cat's rhythmic purring between them. Rey is completely happy — and not just because of the chocolate, or the couch, or the books. She is comfortable with Ben. It's such a change as to be almost dizzying. Telling him the truth about why she's pursing this job was the most vulnerable she's ever let herself be with someone, and his response was exactly right. It has put her at ease in a way she didn't know was possible.

When he isn't looking, she lets herself assess this strange conundrum of a man, difficult but compassionate, intimidating and magnetic. He looks so harmless right now, so natural, as if he's exactly in his element. But she remembers him in the tunnel, and in the alleyway. How imposing he'd been. How dominant. How angry.

"Who is Dyn?" Ben asks, glancing back at her.

She blinks, surprised out of her musings. "What?"

"You mentioned him on the ferry."

"Oh. He's — he's Mando's other orphan. He's five. I love him like my little brother."

This intrigues Ben. He shifts a little and the cat peeps in protest. He settles again, but now he's leaning forward, ready to hear more about her life. "He's five? How long have you had him?"

"Mando found him as a baby," Rey says. "We were out searching for this skip, and Mando was pursuing on foot, when he found this tiny baby crawling around the woods. He was a year old, barely able to take a few steps unassisted. The skip got away, and we took the baby to the hospital to get checked out. He was malnourished, but otherwise fine. They said they were going to take him into the foster system until they could locate his parents. Mando was already a foster parent, because of me, so he offered to just keep the baby until then. They never did find his parents."

Ben's brow lifts in mild surprise. "Your guardian sounds like he takes orphans in pretty easily."

"Easily," Rey repeats, more bitterly than she intends. "Kicking and screaming would be more accurate. At least, with me. With Dyn he just…he just accepted it."

The little old man comes out again, interrupting their conversation with a plate of freshly baked lemon blueberry muffins. He sees the cat and makes a disapproving tsk'ing sound, lifting the animal off Ben's lap.

"That's rude, Taps. They're eating," he scolds.

"It's alright," Ben assures him, but the man is already depositing the cat gently onto a bookshelf. It sits, tail twitching in mild irritation, before eventually stretching out on top of the books and dozing off again.

"I promise he isn't allowed into the kitchen," the man says, giving Rey a worried look.

Rey shakes her head. "It's alright. I like him."

Reassured, he toddles off to do whatever it is he's doing. Probably reading.

The rest of their time at the little shop is mild and pleasant. Ben eases off trying to ask her about her family dynamic, and instead switches to asking her about books she likes to read. It's safe conversation that dredges up no wrenching emotions from either of them, and it reveals a little something more about Ben:

He is an _avid_ reader. He has read so many things across such a wide genre, it makes Rey's head spin. She has a healthy appetite for it herself, since reading was her main escape from reality from the time she figured out how. It's how she learned most of what she knows about cars, which she freely admits to Ben. She doesn't tell him that she started reading car manual's she'd find still shoved into the glove compartments of wrecked cars at the junkyard where she lived and hid.

Ben likes talking about books, and when he finishes his drink, he gets up and drifts around the little shop, pulling beautifully illuminated antique books to show her, clearly at home among the old man's collection. He has an affinity for calligraphy, Rey learns. And when she questions him about it, he admits that yes, he took classes and can do it himself. This delights her.

Bit by bit, her perception of him shifts, morphing into a more rounded understanding of him. There are still big pieces missing, but the more they talk, the more certain she feels that he will eventually tell her about it. About his family.

When she's done, he pays the old man and they head out the door.

"What's next?" she asks him expectantly.

However she thought this day would go, she's now thrown all of it out the window. This is better.

He gives her a smirk. "How do you feel about hiking?"

"Yeah," she says in surprise, her grin growing. "I like hiking."

He nods. "Good, because this is the part where I get you isolated in the woods for whatever nefarious plans I have to keep you from following through on your plan to arrest my dad."

Once, after their first meeting, probably, she would have believed that was indeed his exact plan. Now, however, she laughs. "Ah, well, if you must. Just don't make my grave too shallow, please."

"Can't really fit a shovel on a motorcycle," he says apologetically.

They climb on and helmet up, and Rey scoots in close, asking herself where the turn happened when she actually began to like him instead of despise him. Because she does, and it's starting to feel like maybe that regard is putting down roots deep into her where they'll be hard to dig out again. She doesn't know what it means yet, and probably she'll regret everything about this day later, but right now she doesn't let herself examine it too closely. She's just going to let herself be pulled along this current and figure it out later.

"Ready?" Ben says, voice muffled through his helmet.

Rey nods. "Ready."

* * *

**A/N:**

More bonding time ahead for our little emotional intercourse virgins, and an unexpected intruder on this sneaky date which Ben has tricked her into. Also, oh yeah, they still gotta go to Ben's work so he can quit! Hopefully I'll have the second half up by Friday.


	11. Chapter 11

chapter eleven: i'll show you mine if you show me yours

* * *

Riding with Ben here is even better than in the city, because there are fewer lights and the winding roads through the island allow him to open up the engine. They sail smoothly through neighborhoods and rolling hills. Rey is enchanted by what she sees. It's a strange, charming mix of suburban and rural living, both clustered neighborhoods and sprawling homesteads crammed together in a dense forest. Rey wonders where Luke lives in all this, and what it was like for Ben to spend his late high school and college years here with him.

After a while, they come to a strange little parking lot tucked into a particularly sharp bend in the road. A private drive disappears into the trees on one side of the parking lot, and beyond that there is a little path with a trailhead sign posted beside it. Ben pulls into this lot and parks. Rey climbs off, handing him her helmet, and drifts over to the trailhead sign. There are the expected notices about dogs and cleaning up after them, a warning about being in bear country, and a trail map. She studies this curiously. It's a two mile loop plunging deep into the thick temperate rainforest that tries to creep into every ungroomed piece of land on this island. There are forks branching away from it which lead to other, longer trails. These run off the map, so she has no idea where they lead.

She turns back around to ask Ben about it. He is still at the motorcycle, taking off his light pullover sweater. The day has warmed rapidly, and probably he anticipates the hike warming him further. Whatever the reason, Rey appreciates it. Pulling it up and over his head drags his shirt underneath with it, up to his chest, and she catches a glimpse of a well-toned body beneath, not grotesquely chiseled but defined and very fine. She bites her lip and looks away, stifling the little laugh that bubbles in her chest.

He stows the sweater in the small storage compartment and locks it again, then moseys on over to her, either unaware or unconcerned with the eyeful she got.

"So does the trail look like it's your speed?" he asks.

Right. The trail. She observes the map again, then nods. "Looks easy."

"Good," he says, brushing past her. "Then let's go."

She heels after him, grinning a little to herself. The reddish-brown soil of the trail is littered with damp, mostly decomposed leaves, muffling their footsteps. It doesn't take long for the forest to swallow them up, and Rey can no longer see sign of civilization anywhere. Her whole soul expands under the sun-dappled gloom of the trail. Gnarled trees laced with curtains of moss surround her, and covering the ground between them are endless depths of wide leafy ferns. The pleasant, earthy scent of old trees and damp leaf litter quickens Rey's mind and her blood.

She starts to feel almost giddy, lost in these positively ancient-feeling woods. The forest is so thick it drowns out all other noise. She can't hear the road anymore, or anything at all but the echoing trill of birdsong.

"Ben, this place is straight out of a fairy tale," she says in awe after several minutes of walking together in silence. The way the sunlight filters through the trees sets the hanging moss aglow, and makes her feel like some fae queen is about to appear, or maybe a gnarled old bog witch.

Ben hums a wordless reply, lifting his head from the trail to glance around.

"Did you come here a lot?" she asks. "When you lived with Luke?"

He glances at her. "Sometimes. Luke has his own hiking trails on his property, though, so mostly I'd use those."

"You're kind of pale for an outdoorsman," she says with a grin, "I didn't have you pegged as a hiker."

"I don't live in the sunniest state, in case you've forgotten. And I'm not really an outdoorsman. I just like being where other people aren't."

Rey snorts derisively. "You and Mando would get along, i think. You both have an aversion to other humans. You'll both survive the next plague well."

"You won't. You like people," he says, and there's altogether too much knowing in that observation.

She shrugs. "I do. I mean, I know how to be alone. I'm comfortable being alone. It's like a second language to me. But to be honest, it's actually unbearable. Too much solitude can start to drag you into sadness and hopelessness. Everybody needs a meaningful connection to someone."

He pauses in his step, his mouth pulling down into a tiny frown. But then he shakes his head and resumes walking. After another minute of silence, he says, "So your guardian and I are alike?"

"Not really," she replies automatically, then considers. "I mean, neither of you like people, and you've both got this prickly exterior like you don't want anyone getting close. But that's about as far as the similarities go. You're easier to talk to, for one."

Ben's brows furrow skeptically, but he keeps his attention on the trail. "I'm positive I could never take in orphans, for another."

"He didn't think so either, until I refused to go away," Rey says with amusement.

Ben completely stops then, and Rey gets a pace ahead of him before she realizes it. She turns around and he's staring at her.

"What?" she demands.

"I just — those comments you keep making. About being alone. About refusing to go away. Are you willing to talk about that? Because if you are, I'd like to hear about it."

She blinks at him. "You want my whole life story?"

He nods once. "If you're willing."

"Oh..." she says, casting her eyes about the forest for some kind of rescue. Then her glance darts back to him and she squints. "Why are you asking so nicely?"

He smirks and takes a step towards her. "Would you rather I interrogate you the way we usually do it?"

That sneaky fast hand of his jumps out and closes around her upper arm, the huge wide breadth of it enveloping her bicep. It's a subtle reminder of how easily he maneuvered her around those first few encounters while pinning her with unrelenting investigation, probing her with questions. But even when he wasn't physically manhandling her, he knew how to be incredibly annoying in his curiosity. She remembered how pushy he was in the restaurant when she didn't want to talk about bounty hunting.

She bats him away, and his hand falls from her arm easily.

"No," she says, "I wouldn't."

He nods, and his smirk softens and disappears. "We're moving past that now. If you don't want to talk, I won't make you."

Rey frowns, regarding this perplexing person she has followed into the deep woods. He isn't as relaxed and content as he was in the coffee shop, but he isn't tense and guarded either. It's like he's holding himself back from something, and watching her for cues. He genuinely wants to know everything about her sad sorry story, and much to her own surprise, she discovers that she really does want to tell him.

So finally, she nods. "Okay. I'll tell you — but I expect a fair trade. I get to know about your life, everything you're willing to talk about. And you can't get mad at anything I ask."

Amusement flickers across his face again. "I accept those terms."

So they begin walking again, and Rey begins to tell him. She draws open the curtains she's kept closed around those painful early memories, talking about her abandonment by parents she couldn't recall, her misery in those foster homes she's blocked out, and her years running around the small town as a homeless ghost child, filthy and starving. She tells him about surviving on stolen or scavenged food, about hiding in old cars in the junkyard, stealing things to keep warm and bathing in sprinkler systems at night. She talks about the day a certain fugitive recovery agent showed up into town and parked his beautiful RV in the parking lot of the local grocery store. He spent a few days there, contracting out to a bail bond company, making a quick buck. Rey watched him until she felt brave enough to talk to him. He was nice. She started following him around every day until he inevitably chased her off. Sometimes she stole food from his trailer while he was out. It wasn't hard to get in from the vents up top. She liked his trailer a lot. It was comfy.

"But then one day when I was following him around,' she explains after they consult another trail marker to make sure they haven't strayed off the path, "I heard him tell someone he was leaving town again. I didn't want him to go. I can't explain it, but I felt like he was my person. Like we belonged to each other somehow. So I snuck onto his trailer and hid myself in a cupboard. I stayed in there for hours. Mostly I just slept. Eventually he found me, but by then it was too late and too many hundreds of miles to turn back around."

Ben throws her a concerned look. "That was such a stupid thing to do. What if he'd been some kind of predator?"

Rey bristles. "I was ten years old, my judgement wasn't exactly adult-level. Besides, I didn't get that vibe from him."

'Vibe," Ben says, scoffing softly.

"Yes, vibe," she snaps back. "I'm pretty good at reading people. But more important than that, I was starving to death and desperate."

The air between them is momentarily thrumming with irritation on both sides, but Ben backs down from it almost immediately. He clears his throat, and when he speaks again, there is an air of apology gently woven through his tone. "I cannot fathom what it is like to go through what you have endured. Your survival alone is remarkable. You are not easily defeated, I can see."

"No," she agrees. "I am not."

When he looks at her again, there is a glint of amusement in his eye. "You were never going to back down from my threats, were you? I pitted myself against a formidable opponent from the first breath."

Rey laughs, and her defensiveness fizzles away. "You finally understand."

"So why did he keep you, this bounty hunter of yours?" he asks, prompting her to resume her story.

She shrugs. "At first he just said I would only stay until he found a way to get me back to Arizona. But that got to be complicated, and then one of his religious leaders — he's part of this really old and really intense religion, some holdout from pre-colonial Latin America — told him it was destiny, that I was his foundling and he had a responsibility to me. So he registered as a foster parent and got all the legal stuff worked out, and so I got to stay."

Ben's eyes widen incredulously. "That's a ridiculous amount of obedience to one's faith."

Rey snorts. "You have no idea."

"Forgive me if you find this insulting, but that's a shit reason to take responsibility for a child. You deserved someone who would love you, not someone who endured you for the sake of obligation." There's an iron edge to Ben's words. Rey glances at him, and there is real anger written into his beautiful features. She thinks of Han. Is this how Ben sees his own father? Someone who stuck around merely out of obligation?

Still...she is touched that he would get so worked up on her behalf.

"I think he does care, sort of," she adds quietly. "In his own way. But you're right. I wish he could have been someone who genuinely loved me. I think Dyn is the only person who does."

Ben's hands ball into fists at his side, but he doesn't say anything else.

The trail dips down into a little gully where the trees are more densely tangled. Less sunlight gets through the thick canopy, and so there is less undergrowth. Old mossy trees stand sentinel over a dim cathedral of deep brown earth, lightly littered with leaf detritus and mushrooms. It's so beautiful that Rey leaves the trail, drifting out into the natural temple, her breath catching in her throat.

Behind her, she can hear that Ben has stopped too, no doubt wondering what she's doing.

She touches one of the tree trunks, rubbing her thumb against some of the fuzzy green moss patches growing on the bark. This forest feels content. As if it is at peace with its cohabitating humans.

Eventually Ben draws near, following her offtrail, watching her explore the deep, magic place. He doesn't ask what it's about. Rey doesn't really know herself, only that she wants to melt into these woods and become part of it. These trees are at peace. They don't wonder if they're loved, or if they matter. They sleep and dream deep, slow dreams of sunlight and water.

"I feel like I could stay here forever," she breathes.

A low hum of thought vibrates through him and he glances around. "You haven't been here when it's raining."

She laughs lightly. "Would you believe that I like the rain?"

"You would." He smirks, just a little.

"When I was in Arizona," she says softly, "I would look at pictures in books in the library, or paintings on the walls of buildings, of green places. Of forests. I wondered if they were real. What they smelled like. What it felt like to be there. I never dreamed it would feel like this."

Ben sucks a sharp breath between his teeth and stares at her with a difficult expression. His muscles tense, his hand twitching towards her, but he yanks it back and looks away. Rey wonders what he was going to do. She wonders what she was hoping he'd do. Her pain seems to evoke strong reactions in him, and his reactions make her want to draw him in closer.

He passes a hand over his face and turns away, moving deeper into the trees, towards a little picnic table tucked into the shadows of a close cluster of trees. Clearly he isn't inclined to rush her through this moment of exploration, so Rey takes her time bathing in her soothing surroundings and wondering about this boy who is so soft and so angry and so strangely connected to her own traumas.

He presses his hand to the table to check for moisture. Apparently satisfied, he sits on the tabletop, putting his feet on the bench, and waits for her to be ready.

"Do you like Colorado?'" he asks her after several minutes.

"Some," she says thoughtfully. "I like the mountains, but I'm not a big fan of the snow."

"Too bad," he hums. "I like snow. It makes staying indoors nicer."

She pictures him in a little winter cabin, heaps of fresh powder piled up to the windows, a fireplace glowing merrily, a cat on his lap and a book in his hands. The image comes so easily and with such a strong pulse of longing in her that she has to turn away quickly before he wonder why she's blushing. She's wondering it herself.

"So you're a cat person," she says, changing the topic to rid herself of the cozy image. "That cat back there at the shop really liked you."

He nods. "Taps. He's a friend. I like animals, though. They're easier to understand."

"Do you have any pets?"

"No."

"Me neither," she sighs. "Unless you can count a five year old."

Ben chuckles, and the sound makes Rey want to melt. She drifts closer to the table like a moth to a flame.

"I haven't had any opportunity to be around children, so I have no idea," he says.

"It's probably similar," she laughs.

He regards her curiously. "Does caring for Dyn make you resentful? Like you've been relegated to the role of nanny?"

"No," she says, easing up onto the table beside him. "I don't feel so lonely when I'm taking care of him. He's funny, and good company. It's nice to be needed. Even nicer to be loved. And it's...it's fulfilling somehow. I don't know. Yeah, he can be a real pain the ass sometimes, and it's not always fun, but on some deep level it just feels good. I imagine it'll feel even better when I'm caring for my own baby. Someday."

Ben's brow lifts in surprise, and Rey instantly flushes white-hot, her face burning. She bites her lip and pretends to stare off into the trees, like they're suddenly fascinating. She has never, ever voiced that thought out loud. She's never even articulated it privately, in her own mind.

Ben is silent. He doesn't say anything for so long that she finally risks glancing at him again, only to find that he's watching her with that expression she recognizes so well. Like she's trying to figure something out. Trying to read her — or perhaps successfully doing so.

A nervous laugh escapes her. "Anyway, let's keep going. We've still got more trail to cover."

She tries to jump up, but he grabs her hand and gently tugs her back down.

"Rey," he says gently. "You don't need to be embarrassed about what you hope for. Why do you feel awkward?"

She looks at her hand in his and then away again, unable to meet his gaze. "It's awkward because it's silly and ridiculous and I've never talked about it before with anyone."

"You just expressed your desire to be a mother. That isn't silly, and it isn't ridiculous."

Her cheeks feel hot as embers and she pulls her hand away, wishing he'd just stop talking about it because it's stripping naked her absolute most intimate secrets. Secrets so deeply buried, she didn't even let herself think about them, let alone share them with another person. A trembling breath escapes her.

Ben's voice drops. Where it was gentle before, it's positively tender now. "You want a real family. One who loves you. A family who can't leave you. Trust me, I understand that longing."

She manages to bring herself to look at him, and his gaze is fixed on her, full of heat and compassion. He _does_ understand. In his face is a kind of hunger she well recognizes. The realization leaves her shaken. She has never let these thoughts of a family of her own crystallize before, fearful of the ridicule — even from herself — that _she_, the unwanted junkyard stray, the barnacle on Mando's life, should ever dream of something so impossible. But now there it sits, thrown out into the open, and there is no ridicule. Not from herself, and not from him.

Here was someone who gently held her feelings in one hand, and showed her his own in the other. They matched.

She lifts her hand tentatively. His gaze holds steady on hers, flicking down to her mouth just briefly. She touches his face, brushing hair back from his forehead in a gesture that is far too intimate. But she can't help it. He shudders.

Now is the right moment to invite him into this vulnerable place with her. To pull out his secrets as he has pulled out hers. Still, Rey hesitates. He promised to tell her, but what if he isn't ready? What if he reacts more defensively to the deliberate extraction of his heart than she did? The moment will be ruined, and she doesn't want that.

Ben's hand finds her wrist and lowers it back to her own lap. He gives her a small nod. "Ask your questions, Rey. Say what you want to know."

Tingles scatter over her skin at being so easily read. She inhales a steadying breath.

"What happened with your parents, Ben? How is it that you understand me so well? What happened with your uncle, and why did you leave your family's company?"

"Luke told you I betrayed my family," he says. It isn't a question. He already knows.

"Yes."

He nods in resignation. "I did."

"Why?" She is careful to not allow any amount of confrontation to color the question, only cautious curiosity.

"I felt like I'd already betrayed them long before ever going to Empire. It didn't seem like a big leap."

"But what does that mean?"

"My family is very..." he sighs, his whole body tensing. "They're very driven. And very committed to their causes. My mother and uncle to their father's company, and my own father to his self-directed enterprises. I was not exactly the son they expected to have. Not the kind of progeny who could fit their ambitions."

Rey remembers overhearing Han try to counsel Chuy on what to get his son. _He was a weird kid_, Han had said of his own boy. "You liked art, and they didn't?"

Ben stares at her, first in surprise and then unveiled fascination. "How could you possibly know that?"

"Your father."

It takes him a moment to process this, and then he slowly nods. "He's right, I guess. It wasn't that they didn't like art — my mother certain enjoys collecting pieces that evoke some specific emotion in her — but it's more the idea of that sentiment. They didn't understand me. My mother and uncle have many, many social obligations. Fancy parties, strategic social affairs, political and international functions, everything you would expect from a company as big and influential as Skywalker. Luke has since faded out of these public events over the years, but my mother has not. I hated them. They expected me to be there, to represent the family well as the fresh-faced rising future of SI."

"But you don't like people," Rey realizes.

"Exactly. I was quiet and introverted, where they were both extroverted. I liked art, reading, writing, music. Anything I could enjoy by myself. I've always had an appreciation for things that are —" he glances at her, but quickly looks away again, "—things that are beautiful. They say my grandmother was that way too, but she was also an outgoing, charismatic politician and everyone loved her. I definitely felt like the outsider of my family. I couldn't relate to anyone. My mother was gone most of the time, busy running the company my grandfather left to her and Luke. She hired me the best tutors and caretakers, but I was awkward and shy when she hoped to rely on me, and I knew I wasn't the son she always dreamed of. I hated the public eye. I hated that we couldn't be normal. She pushed me hard academically, expecting me to attend the best universities and get the best degrees so that I could come to SI with her. The older I grew, the less my mother and I had in common, and the less she seemed to know that to do with me except push this future she wanted for us. We became strangers living in the same house."

Rey doesn't dare breathe. She didn't expect him to open up this much. It's like he's been waiting to tell someone — to tell anyone — his side of the story for so long, it comes spilling out like water from a dam. He probably needs therapy, honestly, but then who doesn't? And Rey isn't about to ruin it by pointing this out. She wants him to keep going. To purge everything bottled up inside him.

Besides, this song has familiar notes, even if the melody sounds different.

But Ben falls silent. His face is stormy, wreathed in echoes of grief and anger, and Rey is struck with a powerful urge to soothe him. Heart beating nervously in her chest, she touches his hand, sliding her fingers over the back of it, wrapping them around his clenched fist.

"It's alright, Ben," she says softly when he looks down at her touch. "You're allowed to feel hurt by that. It's okay."

He draws in a deep, shuddering breath and turns his hand over, opening his palm so that her fingers slide into the spaces between his. He rubs a thumb over her skin, his lower lip trembling just a little. "I _am_ hurt. She didn't see me. She didn't even try."

Rey could picture him, young and alone in a world of wealth he would happily trade away for a meaningful relationship with his mother. Surrounded by the empty semblance of a family. Her heart squeezes painfully in her chest. Her desert town and his rainy city were the same kind of lonely.

"I see you," she whispers.

His hand in hers tightens. He doesn't look up at her, but just keeps staring at their intertwined fingers as he pushes himself through the story she's asked him for.

"My father was even more distant than she was. Like me, he didn't fit in with her world at all, but he at least had the option to escape it. He always had his side hustle with Chuy. And he wasn't the sort of suave, polished arm candy she could trot out at social functions, so she let him get out of them. When I was little, he was around more to help out. We even liked each other then. We'd do all kinds of things together. But then the warrants started and his criminal activities began to catch up with him, and then he was leaving all the time to escape US jurisdiction. Eventually he stopped coming around altogether. Like he just forgot about me. I might have been willing to help him, but he never gave me the chance. My mother would never have allowed me to go into his particular trade, so he kept me away from it. Not that he wanted me as a partner anyway. For as much as my mother failed to understand me, I think my father was even more baffled. I was too soft for him. Not like you."

His gaze finally meets hers and Rey steels herself for his resentment, but it doesn't come. His dark eyes hold no reproach.

"He likes you. It's clear that you're a natural fit. You belong in his world. I didn't. I still don't."

Rey hasn't really felt like she belongs in anybody's world, so this assessment sends her emotions into an absolute tailspin. But she keeps herself together, lest they both end up a pile of sad goo on this forest floor. Han himself had said the same thing to her the first time she asked him about Ben. he'd said his son wasn't like the two of them.

"Ben," Rey says softly.

He grits his teeth and looks at with with a tormented look. "Rey, I — I want to —" he darts a look at her lips and then shudders again.

"What do you want?" she asks, trying to draw him back.

But he pulls his hand away from hers and gets down off the table. His body is stiff, his jaw tight. He motions back to the trail. "Come on."

She rises and follows. Maybe this is as far as he wants to take his story. Maybe he's done. He already told her that they sent him to live with Luke, and she knows how well that worked out. Maybe it's too scary to keep being this candid with her, and he needs to close off again to feel safe. Or maybe he's scared of whatever it is he wanted. She's a little scared too, if she's being honest with herself. But she wants to run towards it, whatever it is.

He clears his throat after a minute and continues, much to her surprise. "I lived with Luke while I did my undergraduate degree and accepted an internship with him — their idea, of course. While I was completing my master's, however, I was approached by the Director of Operations at Empire. Simeon Snoke is his name. I knew at the time that he only came after me because of what I meant to the Skywalkers, but I didn't care. He offered me a way out, an escape from this stifling life my family had designed for me. Luke and I were arguing all the time at that point. He kept lecturing me on my duty to my mother, because I was starting to make noises about not wanting to go into the _family business_."

He snorts and his voice is suddenly full of acid. "Duty to a woman who fulfilled only the barest minimum of hers to me."

They're walking side by side now, despite the narrowness of the trail, and their arms keep brushing. Rey doesn't try to avoid it. She wants the contact. She wants more than that too — has the most overwhelming urge to take his hand again, but she can sense clearly that he doesn't want that, so she balls her fists up to keep from doing it on impulse.

"Snoke could give me the power and respect at Empire that I was never going to achieve at Skywalker. Still, however resentful I was, I didn't think I could do that to them. Until Luke."

"What did Luke do?" she asks softly.

"We had a big argument. Bigger than any before. He discovered I'd been corresponding with Snoke, and it sent him into a rage. He told me that Empire had destroyed my grandfather — had driven him to an early grave. They've always been after our business, and they're willing to stoop to any means, however illegal, to acquire our secrets and run us out of the industry. He said the mere fact that I was talking to Snoke meant I'd already turned my back on the family. I was their disappointment." He swallowed. "Their shame."

Rey gasps, a shaft of pain driven into her own heart on his behalf. To say something so cruel to someone who struggled to belong! Ben hears her sound and turns his head towards her. She lets him plainly see the anger and hurt she feels for him and his lonely, rejected life. Is this how he felt earlier when he got angry about Mando on her behalf? Because she gets it now. She feels like she would physically fight anyone who tried to hurt Ben any further.

"Maybe it was petty of me," he says after a minute observing her. "I knew that if I'd never be worthy of them, at least I could have worth somewhere else. So I took Snoke's offer. And I went. I didn't take any company secrets with me, though I know Luke refuses to belief that."

"But now you're miserable," she says. "Do you really feel you are worth something at Empire?'

"Only because of who my family is," he admits.

They've looped almost back to the parking lot by now, and she can start to make out glimpses of the motorcycle through the trees. He draws in a deep breath, as if clearing himself of these painful memories.

"Besides," he says, "That's what today is about, isn't it? Getting out. Being free."

"Yes," she says, smiling, letting some of the earlier excitement creep back in like effervescent sunlight. "Forging your own path. Your own destiny."

"Destiny," he says with amusement. "As if there is any such cosmic plan for our lives."

"You don't know that there isn't," she says, and is surprised to hear herself say it. She's never believed any of that before. "Look at us, for example. Who's to say the universe didn't intend for us to be friends? I certainly wasn't planning on it. Were you?"

"No," he says definitively. "Is that what we are?"

Friends is what she easily applies to Rose, Jannah, Zorri, Poe, and Finn. It doesn't seem to fit Ben very well. But she doesn't know what else to call this, so she just shrugs.

Maybe Mama Maz was onto something after all, when she told Rey her answers lay ahead. Certainly there does seem to be something puzzling and strange about this whole scenario, where she's become a sideline participant in this family drama when she was only supposed to be here to catch a fugitive.

They leave their heavy talk of families and half-families in the woods. Rey feels impossibly closer to him now, and when she gets back on the bike she has no trouble at all with the physical contact.

* * *

After their hike they behave a little differently towards one another. They're less guarded, for one, but a sort of…playfulness has arisen now. Not completely, of course. They're both still too keenly aware of the unspoken obstacle between them, so they aren't given over to giggles and carelessness. But still, there is a kind of teasing between them now. The venom has gone out of their jibes and it is replaced with an intimacy that flares up whenever their eyes meet.

Ben takes her down to the main shopping district and they spend the next hour wandering around, poking into shops — particularly the small ones, and trying to compete for who can make the most unusual discovery.

Rey sees him fully smile for the first time during this little game, when she finds a hat with a two-headed stuffed duck sewn onto it. She puts it on and asks him if she wore it, would people think she had quacked?

It's a brilliant thing, his smile. It makes her stomach flip and her heart skip a beat and she marvels.

After that, it's her personal quest to provoke more of those moments and win his smiles like trophies.

It's so easy to be with him now. The tension of their previous interactions fades, and even though neither of them dare brush up against that intense emotional ordeal they just left behind in the woods, the afterglow stays with them. Rey has never been with someone who can relate to her struggle with belonging as much as he has, and there is a kind of freedom in being in his company because of it.

Ben keeps finding reasons to touch her — brushing against her, putting a hand to her back to draw her attention to something, even fully taking her hand again at one moment to pull her up the steps of a tiny ice cream parlor he spots in their wandering. Her fingers fit so perfectly into his. She doesn't want him to let go.

She likes these touches. He does it with the same deftness he used on her before, in the tunnel and the alleyway, but this time it doesn't annoy her. It has the opposite effect.

Possibly all of this is a terrible idea and will come back to hurt her when she inevitably has to leave to go back home, but she doesn't let herself think about any of that just now. Not even about Han, and her mission. She just chases Ben's hard-won smiles and revels in the feeling of _rightness_ that glows happily in her heart and feels good to know that he is experiencing the same carelessness. And all of it is perfect.

—Until they run into Luke.

* * *

**A/N**:

* * *

Well this chapter kind of got away from me. Haha sorry, hopefully you don't mind. These two don't want to rush into anything they're not emotionally ready for, so they gotta work through the tangles. (Also I've scoured this for any weird quotation marks, but in case you get a random apostrophe where there should be quote, forgive me. My shift key isn't working well today.)

Also, I wasn't planning on leaving it at a cliffhanger, but what comes next was better suited to the next chapter. I'm planning Monday or Tuesday for the next update.

Comment replies:

Hartmannclan: Heehee, banter is the best. Thanks for your always lovely reviews!

Guest 1: Thank you so much! Cozy is definitely what that mood wanted to be.

Guest 2: Thank you, thank you! That means so much to me.

Phicurious: My dad had motorcycles when I was a teenager. It has been a while, but I'm happy my memories still served. And as for who, that question will be answered in later chapters

Guest 3: Ben's POV! I've been making myself to stick to single viewpoint character with this fic, mostly as a personal challenge. Usually I like to switch back and forth. But I may have to include some bonus scenes from his POV eventually. That's far too tempting.

fireelfmaiden1: Thank you so much! ️️


	12. Chapter 12

chapter twelve: the fever dream breaks

* * *

They're leaving the ice cream parlor when it happens.

Ben sucks a drop of blackberry off the side of his hand while Rey savors the taste of dulce de leche still sweet on her tongue. She's still laughing over the ridiculous story he told about the incompetence of his nemesis at work. Her mind is a beautifully blank canvas of happiness and a vague curiosity of what it would taste like if they happened to mix the flavors clinging to their lips.

So she isn't much paying attention to anything that isn't Ben when she practically runs into someone stepping out of another shop. Ben deftly pulls her away before she can collide with the stranger. When she looks up to apologize, she finds herself looking directly into the startled blue eyes of Luke Skywalker.

She sucks in a sharp breath.

It takes him half a beat, but then recognition flashes over his face like lightning and his eyes widen. "You again!"

"Luke!" She stammers. And then, because she didn't know how important he was last time, she corrects herself, "I — I mean, Mister Skywalker!"

"What are you doing here?" he asks, and then his glance flicks to Ben behind her. A shadow falls over his face and his mouth settles into a deep frown within his groomed beard. "Ben."

Ben lets go of Rey's arm and takes a step back. His dark eyes glitter with malice. "Uncle," he says coldly.

Rey edges in front of him, putting herself between the two men. She makes her voice light and easy, like she's not aware of how _tense_ everyone has suddenly gotten.

"It's good to see you again!" she lies. "I'm sorry I didn't know who you were at the bar. I really made a fool of myself. My friends told me after and I was so embarrassed. That was really nice of you to talk to me, though."

Luke's attention doesn't waver from Ben, his eyes like two chips of ice for all the warmth they hold for his nephew. He addresses Rey. "If you recall, I talked to you to give you some advice."

"Yeah," Rey acknowledges, still trying to keep it light. "I didn't really take it, I guess."

"Clearly." Finally Luke looks at her. Irritation pulls at his beard. "As if Han wasn't a bad enough influence, you're now hanging out with his son? Did you hear absolutely nothing of what I said to you?"

"About Ben?" Rey remembers their conversation extremely well. She knows now how he mischaracterized Ben and the events surrounding Ben's split from the family. "I heard you. But I also know there are two sides to every story. And your advice about Han is probably still wise, but I really like hanging out with him. I told you that at the bar."

Luke's eyes narrow with sudden mistrust. "Who are you?"

"What do you mean? I'm Rey, I told you before—"

"No, _Rey_, I mean who are you to us? Why do I keep finding you buzzing around disaffected members of my family? Are you a reporter?"

Her eyes widen. "No, definitely not."

"A stalker?"

"No!" Well — possibly what she's doing to Han could fall under that category, but for that matter what Ben is doing to her could as well.

"Then what is this about?" he demands.

"It's not about anything!" She feels defensive now, and it doesn't help that Ben has become a living radiator of hostility behind her, which she can feel even without looking back at him for confirmation. "I just started talking to Han because of his car, and it's all kind of spiraled from there."

Luke isn't convinced. He throws his suspicious glare onto Ben. "Is she your spy, _nephew_? Have you sent her to cozy up to your father with the hopes that he'll reveal some sort of information you can take back to Snoke?"

Ben makes some kind of sound, and Rey can't tell if it's a laugh of incredulity or a growl of irritation.

As for herself, she gives Luke a confused sort of stare. "That would be a terrible way to get information. Han never talks about any of you."

Luke seems momentarily taken aback by that, but he recovers quickly and gives her a hard look. "So I'm just supposed to believe that you're nobody, just a kid with a penchant for associating with the worst people?"

"I've associated with you," she says, "so what answer does that give?"

Luke blinks at her, and then a moment later he barks a gruff but genuine laugh. "Okay, I walked into that one. So the answer is a resounding yes."

Rey grins a little. She glances back at Ben, who does not give even the barest hint of a smile at this joke. He looks stiff and irritated and when he meets her glance, she can feel his unvocalized request for them to leave.

But Luke isn't finished with them yet. He turns on his nephew, and his humor is gone. "What are you doing here with her, Ben? Trying to seduce someone young and gullible?"

"Whoa," Rey says, holding up a hand. "First of all, I'm really not that gullible. And second of all, I can take care of myself."

"He's preying on you," Luke says with certainty. "You just can't see it."

Ben lets out a low hiss and turns away. Rey looks at him again, nervous at the anger coiling in his muscles. She whirls back to Luke.

"Why would you accuse him of something like that?"

"I don't know what lies he's told you, Rey, but you shouldn't trust his intentions. He doesn't have much sense of honor left."

"Okay," she replies, her blood running hot now. "You're being extremely rude. You mind stepping aside for a private word?"

Luke lifts a brow, his gaze following her quick motion to the end of the strip mall. Still, he gives her a stiff nod, stalking off in the indicated direction. Rey is a little surprised. She didn't think he would go for it. She's about to follow him when Ben catches her arm.

"Don't," he says, his face hard, his mouth pulled down into anger and concern. "Nothing good can come of anything you have to say to him."

She gives him a reassuring smile. "Probably not, but he can't really do anything to me. Just wait here. I'll be right back. He shouldn't get away with his childishness. I don't want him to hurt you anymore."

Ben's hand loosens. He doesn't like it, but he isn't going to put up a fight. She trots off after Luke, keenly aware of Ben's intense gaze on her. None of this is her business, she knows, but if she has even the slightest chance of doing some good here, she'll take it. After what Ben told her in the woods, she doesn't want him to live with this terrible rift in his family anymore.

She stops at the end of the row of shops to address this grumpy old man with a huge grudge against his own blood.

"So do you you ever want to mend things with your nephew, or are you determined to keep up this family feud forever?" she demands.

Luke's lip curls. "What do you know about it?"

"I know what you've told me, the very little I've been able to get out of Han, and what Ben has told me."

"And you believed Ben," Luke scoffs. "Because he's young and tragic and you've fallen for a pair of pretty eyes."

"That's condescending," Rey snaps, her temper flaring. It doesn't matter how famous Luke Skywalker is, right now he's being an ass. "And it's misogynistic, and neither of those are a good look on you."

Luke scowls, but he doesn't argue.

Rey pulls back a little of her fire back and says deliberately, "Ben told me about going to Empire. He told me about your argument, and what you said. Tell me it's a lie, if you want me to believe your side of the story. Tell me that you didn't call him the shame of the family."

Luke's anger falters. His eyes flicker and drop away from her. "He was talking to the competition."

Rey knows it sounds lame even to Luke himself by the grimace me makes. He doesn't seem to believe his own feeble justification.

"And that crime demanded the annihilation of your relationship?" Rey asks skeptically. "You told me Ben destroyed your whole family with his actions. Did he? Because he said he couldn't bring himself to accept Snoke's offers until your argument pushed him."

Luke glances back at her, and she can see and sense his pride wrestling with his heart.

She pushes a little further. "Did any of you stop to ask him what _he_ wanted to do with his life? Even once? Or did you just throw all your expectations upon him and tell him he wouldn't be good enough to live up to them?"

He flinches from this accusation, but to his credit does not mount a defense. Instead, he gives her a mildly irritated look. "You're overly informed for a corporate espionage agent."

"I'm not a spy, Luke. The only person Ben is spying on his father. And he's only doing that because he knows that Han coming back here means people will start looking for him."

Luke is startled. "He's watching Han? Are you someone he hired to watch Han for him?"

"No. That's just how he found me. He's been keeping an eye, but he got nervous when I started hanging around. And don't accuse him of trying to steal information — whatever Han means to you and your sister, it's completely clear that he has nothing at all to do with your business."

Luke grunts in acknowledgement of this.

"Ben is watching because he still cares. He can't help himself," Rey says. She glances back at Ben, who is staring into a shop window, arms folded, trying and failing to act like he isn't at all interested. She smiles fleetingly.

Luke exhales heavily. "It doesn't matter. How it all happened, my fault, his fault, his parents, it doesn't matter. It's ruined anyway."

"What's broken can't be fixed in a single conversation," Rey acknowledges, "but he is ready for some healing, I think. He's leaving Empire today."

Luke lifts a single eyebrow. He doesn't believe her at all.

"It's true," she says. "He's ready to make something of his own. That's why I'm with him right now — he needed someone to support his decision. It's a big first step."

"He's lying to you," Luke says, unimpressed. "He's not going to quit."

"He is," Rey insists. "I know he is. And this might be the right time for the people who love him to try to show him that love. In the way he needs to receive it."

Because even though Luke is incredibly hostile towards Ben, Rey has to believe that somewhere inside him he still lives his nephew. She has to believe Ben's family aches for him as he aches for them.

If this broken family can be fixed, maybe there is hope for her and Mando and Dyn to make something real out of their own too.

Luke stuffs his hands into his jacket pockets and considers her skeptically. "Is that why you were sent here? To fix us?"

"Sent by whom?"

He shrugs. "The universe. Fate. The Earth Mother. God. Whatever you want to believe in."

"Do _you_ believe in that stuff?" she asks, genuinely surprised. He seems far too cynical for something like that.

But a look of mischief comes into his face and the tension between them dissolves. "More than you know. I have a healthy respect for the metaphysical. You should too, if you know what's good for you."

Rey laughs. "I think I'm more open to it than I was a few days ago. But I don't think my job here is to fix your family. That's your own job. I'm just here to—" arrest Han, she remembers abruptly. Swallowing, she searches for an alternative answer. Any other role. "—just...be supportive, I guess."

It's a lame conclusion, and it leaves her feeling dissatisfied.

Still, Luke sighs. "Alright then. Go be supportive and let's see if he actually does what he told you he would. If you're right, I'll think about what you said."

She nods. "Thank you."

"But Rey, seriously, stay away from Han unless you want to get caught up in his legal trouble."

She grins. "I understand the risks."

"You don't, but okay, do whatever you want," Luke says, shaking his head. He gives her a nod of parting. "See you around."

"See you."

She watches him walk away, trying to figure out how a man who can be so cold to his own flesh and blood, who can be so dogmatic and unyielding, can still leave her with the distinct impression that he is a good person.

Eventually Ben comes up behind her. She turns to face him.

"I chastised him," she says, smiling small, shy smile. "He took it well, I think."

Ben nods, giving her a vaguely amused half-grin, but there is no energy in it. He looks resigned.

"Come on," he says softly. "We should catch the next ferry."

The magic of the day has gone out now. Rey can feel the difference, and it makes her a little sad. The Ben that has eagerly shown her his treasured places all day has deflated, leaving behind someone quiet and withdrawn. Their quick drive over to the ferry doesn't have the same kinetic energy crackling between them as before.

Once on board they head to the top deck again. There are fewer people up there, just like before. Just the way he prefers.

Ben goes to the back — no, now this is the front — of the boat and leans on the railing, brows low over his dark eyes, distant storm clouds in his countenance.

"What are you thinking about?" Rey asks gently, sliding up beside him.

He gives her a side glance, his expression clearing for just a moment as he asks with some amusement, "Are you going to tell your friends that you scolded Luke Skywalker today?"

She laughs. "They wouldn't believe me."

He snorts lightly and returns his attention to the distant skyline of the city. "I admit, it's kind of nice to talk to someone who is oblivious to my family's fame."

"I'm not exactly in touch with —" she waves her hands helplessly, "the rich and famous. Not really my thing."

He nods. "Lucky for me."

She bumps her shoulder into his. "Hey. What are you _really_ thinking about? Because that look on your face there isn't from thinking about my knowledge of current affairs."

Ben gives her a long look, as if deciding something. Finally he says, "Lukes hates me. And I hate him. And that bothers you."

"Me? I don't have anything to do with this. It doesn't matter what I think."

"You find it intolerable that my family should be so rent asunder when you are desperately trying to keep your own taped together." He isn't speculating. He says this like he knows it.

Rey stares at him, wanting to argue, to tell him he's wrong, but failing to think of any rebuttal. She can't, because he's right. Her lips come together in a hard line. His attention transfers to them, and then falls away altogether.

"Some things can't be salvaged," he concludes. "Some wrecks are total losses. Mine. Yours. It's better if we just let go of ideas of repairing them and try to make something new instead."

"I don't know if I can," she says honestly.

"You aren't convinced you want to yet. But you could do it, if you were."

Let go of trying to make Mando love her like a daughter? Just...move on? Her whole soul quails at the thought. She doesn't know how to make something new when she doesn't have a good blueprint to follow originally. And she isn't sure what that even means.

"Ben," she ventures softly, "I'm sorry we ran into Luke today. Maybe if I hadn't gone off trail—"

"Don't," he says, cutting her off. "He lives there, and he avoids going into the city unless he has to. The likelihood of running into him was high. Don't take the blame."

"But seeing him hurt you," she protested. "You are wounded. If our timing had been different—"

"I'm the one who brought you here. I took the risk. It's my fault, not yours." His voice is firm.

Rey frowns. She doesn't like the turn this has taken. Maybe she should have told Luke to buzz off instead of pulling him aside, but she suspected that wouldn't have helped either. Just seeing his uncle had made Ben angry. Perhaps if they had lingered in that forest a little longer...had tested the strength of their emotional intimacy and see where it led...

After a moment she offers him a tentative smile and says, "I had a really great time though, before that. I loved everything. I'm really happy we came."

He glances at her, at her smile, and when their eyes meet, they catch and linger. His are searching, full of want. She is again struck with the powerful urge to comfort him, but she isn't sure where the boundary is, or what he'll deem inappropriate. So she puts her hand on his, because she knows this is at least a safe gesture, and leans into his side. Like before, when she did it in the woods, he responds by turning his palm beneath her, this time toying with her fingers against his own. What shudders between them is powerful. Rey wants more than just his hand in hers. She wants...a lot more.

The realization makes her stomach ache and her heart skip nervously.

"I had a good time too," Ben murmurs, his anger fizzling away.

Rey looks up to see that he is studying her. With his free hand, he tucks some of her hair behind her ear, letting his fingertips graze briefly along her jaw.

She inhales a steadying breath, because the touch is threatening all her self control, sending a thrill straight to her toes.

"Rey," Ben says softly, and then stops, swallowing. He looks uncertain and vulnerable. "I...like you. It scares me."

Her breath hitches and her heart stutters. "I feel it too," she whispers.

Then all at once he steps back, pulling his hand out of hers and straightening. "When we get to Empire, you will come with me to my office. I'll have you wait there while I speak to Snoke and hand in my resignation."

Reeling from the abrupt shift, Rey tries to reorient herself. The little bubble of half-spoken things around them pops and suddenly its back to business. She nods. "Okay."

Then, recovering her footing, she offers a bright smile and adds, "I'll pack your things while you're gone!"

A brief, amused grin flickers over his tempting lips. "There really isn't much. But sure, whatever you can find."

"Are you going to make it a dramatic exit?" she asks, her own smile growing. "You going to tell everyone what you really think of them on your way out? Or are you going to try to slink off quietly so nobody knows what happened and they all gossip about it for weeks?"

"Not sure," he replies. "My pride wants the first option. I don't want to give them the satisfaction of thinking I was fired."

"Burning bridges it is, then," she laughs.

It's good to see him relaxing again. Rey feels like she can breathe a little easier, even if she does regret whatever moment has just slipped through their fingers unexplored. And Ben isn't quite as carefree as he was earlier, but at least he isn't angry anymore. Besides, she has to admit, she's excited to see what happens next. What kind of mood might seize him when he's finally free of his miserable job.

If the only good thing she does here before arresting Han and going home is to help Ben find a path to a happier life, she'll leave satisfied.

Probably.

But leaving at all has become something of a sore spot and she'd rather not think of it now. Because of her friends.

Because of Ben.

* * *

**A/N:** I know it's a shorty-short chapter and you were expecting it yesterday, but don't worry! The next chapter is ready, I'm just touching it up now and you will have it TODAY! Double-chapter day to beg your forgiveness for the delayed update :D It'll be up in a couple hours after I go get a haircut.


	13. Chapter 13

chapter thirteen: cold water

* * *

When the ferry docks, they again mount up and then Ben is threading his way through the city once more, passing the historic district, passing the industrial zones, moving away from downtown and further inland.

Rey isn't sure what to expect from Empire Analytics headquarters except some hazy notion of a tall office building. She is absolutely astonished at what it really turns out to be.

They've ascended a massive hill, and at the top sprawls the Empire campus. Rey sucks in a sharp breath, her hands tightening around the loops on Ben's jacket. They approaching a vast complex of black buildings jutting up out of the city like angular obsidian shards. None of them bear the name of the company, only big red renderings of the Empire logo — a six spoked wheel hemming in a sun with six rays.

A lot of people think the logo has ties to some secret supergroup like the Illuminati. Rey has heard this speculation before, but she never believed it. Now, however, she wonders. The emblem looks like a watchful eye glaring down at the city from every building.

They pull up to a guard tower where Ben shows an ID badge. A crossbar lifts and tire spikes sink into the ground, allowing them to enter the vast complex.

Inside is almost like a small city unto itself. There are people _everywhere_. On the ground floor of all the buildings there are public spaces, like restaurants and cafes, laundromats and libraries and convenience stores. There are even apparel shops selling business attire. A trolly runs the circuit of this city, taking pedestrians between the huge edifices. There are tables and chairs and various other places for people to sit outside.

Despite this, it does not have a welcoming feel. In fact, Rey has the distinct sensation that she has just been caught in a huge spider web. She knows instinctively that every movement echoes to the spider sitting at the center. It's an eerie feeling.

The employees have apparently been restricted to a very limiting palette of approved apparel colors. They are all dressed in greys, blacks, or the occassional white blouse or blazer. They move about with specific purpose, and Rey is struck by how odd it is to not see any of them stopping to socialize beyond a clipped, curt exchange of words. There is no laughter. No friendliness. No watercooler talk. They act like rigid pieces of some stern military group.

Ben's bike zips past everyone with an air of routine disinterest. He pulls into a parking garage attached to the central-most building and tallest tower. The center of the web. He doesn't bother locking up the helmets this time. Rey wonders if this is altogether a good idea. He seems confident in the security of the garage, but then this _was_ the same place where a coworker threw a rock at his car.

He gives her a reassuring glance before they walk together out of the garage and into the building.

Rey feels completely conspicuous in her pale green shirt and light sand-colored pants. Clearly she is an outsider. She follows Ben, sticking close to his side lest someone stop her and demand to know what a gutter gremlin like her is doing in this sharp, crisp, coldly clean atmosphere. It works, because anyone who glances at her immediately looks next to Ben, and every time — every single time — they flinch away in fear and hurry off before attracting his notice.

Ben is a figure of terror for them, she realizes.

He _did_ tell her that he was an enforcer for the second-highest ranking executive. But still. Seeing their reactions confirm her suspicions that this job must be extremely isolating. It would be impossible to make friends with people literally running away in fear.

And it makes sense now, she muses, why he'd impulsively accepted her offer to come with him. He has no allies here. He would have no one to buoy him up should his resolve weaken, and no kind face to greet him with triumph after he's committed career suicide. She can feel the hostility of this place, can see the way everyone keeps their head down, and knows that Zorri was right. This web does not easily let go of its prey once snared.

Ben takes her to an elevator. The two male employees in dark gray suits who had been waiting for it suddenly remember other tasks they need to do and skitter away, leaving them to wait alone.

"Real warm place you got here," Rey remarks.

Ben huffs derisively, but doesn't reply.

In the elevator he depresses the button for the fifty-ninth floor. There are sixty, so she could guess his importance by his proximity to the top even if she didn't already know it.

Feeling a little more confident since his confession on the ferry, Rey reaches out and catches his hand. He laces his fingers through hers and she gives him a squeeze, reassuring. They don't need to speak to feel what passes between them. His back straightens and his chin lifts. When the doors finally open again, his hand drops away from her and he sweeps forward.

Rey falls in step with him.

The floor is big and open, a bullpen of people working comprises the center of the room, while private offices run the length of two sides. The third is all windows, looking out on the complex, the city far below, and the Sound glittering beyond.

A secretary sitting at a big desk near the elevator lifts her head, her gaze darting from Ben to Rey and registering only the smallest hint of surprise.

"Good afternoon—" she starts, but cuts off sharply when Ben strides past without even a glance.

Her eyes meet Rey's, the curiosity finally breaking through. Rey gives her a tentative smile which isn't returned.

More heads lift from their computers throughout the bullpen. A man in a fitted black suit with neatly cropped fire-red hair is stepping out of one of the offices when Ben and Rey breeze past him. He stiffens in surprise.

"Excuse me," he says sourly, heeling after them.

Ben stops so abruptly Rey almost crashes into him. He spins around. "What do you want?"

"You aren't allowed to bring visitors up here," says the red-haired man. His face is cold and full of loathing.

This must be the coworker, then, Rey guesses. Ben's particular nemesis. She shifts out of the way of the two of them, glancing out at the bullpen where the other employees are focusing back on their work with an air of exasperation. These two butt heads often, she guesses.

"Are you going to report me?" Ben taunts. "Go ahead. Or do we need to revisit the hierarchy to know who's in charge?"

The man's eyes narrow. "You haven't even been here all day. You can't possibly have head."

"Heard what?" Ben demands.

"Nevermind." The man lifts a calculating brow. Then, his attention snapping to Rey, he adds with distaste, "Your visitor doesn't have a guest clearance badge. Get her out."

"You might want to go to the bathroom and check for that stick, Hux," Ben sighs, "I think it's migrating further up there."

He turns sharply on his heel once more and continues on his way. Rey follows, glancing behind her to see the red-haired man glowering after them.

"He seems fun," she decides.

"The life of the party, for sure."

They finally stop at the corner office. Ben opens the door and motions her in. Clicking it shut behind them, he immediately goes to all the interior windows and shuts the blinds, cutting off the dozens of curious eyes watching them.

It's a fine office, with big exterior windows and a huge desk with a dark glass surface. A sleek Empire-branded computer squats there, modern and minimalist in its familiar black design. There's an expensive chair, a sideboard with a printer sitting on top, and an abstract series of reclaimed wood pieces making a polygonal shape on the one window-less wall. Also a coat rack behind the door.

"Hmm," she remarks softly, looking around. "You're right. Not much here that gives it a personal touch, is there?"

"I told you," Ben says.

She trots over to his chair and sinks down into it, giving it a spin. "It's nice, though. Fancy."

"I guess." He watches her, a grin toying at the corner of his mouth. "Nicer now though."

She shoots him a little side-eye, but he's already walking towards her. He leans over her, bringing his computer to life and tapping in a password.

"Do you want me to move?" she asks, watching his fingers fly over the keys. "I didn't mean to be in your way—"

"No," he says.

His face is very close to hers. Heat floods through her, and she wonders what would happen if she just leaned up and brushed her lips to his cheek. The thought makes her feel wild, and a little silly, because she's never really had these kinds of feelings before and she isn't really sure what to do with them. It's confusing enough that they should be budding to life for _him_, of all people. And for his own part, Ben seems nervous about whatever feelings he has towards her. No, not nervous. He said scared.

Ben accesses a cloud file entitled _resignation letter_ and sends it to the printer. Then he straightens and moves towards the door again, taking off his jacket to hang it on the coat hanger. He adjusts his shirt, tousles and then smooths his hair, and turns to Rey for assessment.

Since he's giving her the opportunity, Rey takes a generous moment to appraise him. She admires his hard lines and sharp edges, softened by a paradoxical boyish charm lurking beneath the well-formed man. A hot ember glows to life deep in her belly, and she draws in a slow, deep breath to steady herself. Then she flits her gaze back to his and gives him an appreciative smile.

"Yep. Good."

He nods, apparently satisfied, and goes to grab his letter off the printer. "If I'd known my office could feel like somewhere I actually _wanted_ to be I'd have dragged you here a long time ago."

She laughs. "I'm not sure I'd have liked that. This place is creepy."

"It is," he admits. "It doesn't suit you."

He looks around as if searching for something else. Rey leans forward, propping her elbows on his desk.

"Hurry," she urges gently. "I'd like to get out of here and find some way to celebrate."

Ben's eyes flash with a hungry gleam and the corner of his mouth curls into a little grin. "It won't take long."

With that, he turns and heads out the door, closing it behind him with a soft click.

Rey is alone.

She doesn't let herself relax yet. Doesn't let the day wash over her in a tide of swirled emotions. There will be time for that later, when she's back in bed at Poe and Zorri's and everything that has happened replays through her mind. She doesn't know what she'll tell her friends about this day. They won't understand why her vexing obstacle has become something more than a friend. It will be too hard to explain it to them too, because she doesn't really understand it herself.

Maybe she won't tell them anything.

Right now it doesn't matter. She's in an unfamiliar place, possibly a very dangerous one, and she's far too curious to just sit idly and wait. So she stands up and pokes around his office, opening the cupboards and drawers of the sideboard and the desk, putting together a tiny collection of his knick-knacks. A blue pocket knife with _Starfighter_ inscribed on it. A fancy fountain pen and modest assortment of ink vials. And a single stress relief ball. Everything else is branded Empire stuff or standard office supply.

It's just as well, she decides, surveying her findings and tucking them into her pockets. Ben only has a motorcycle. Not much room for a big box of belongings.

She examines the reclaimed wood on the walls and decides, after some deliberation, that it's meant to be a book shelf. But there isn't a single book on it. She considers the implications of this, that bookworm Ben who prefers to drink coffee in a veritable literary hoard, won't bring any to work. Not even boring business books. He doesn't even bring any decor to put on the shelves and make his own.

The minutes tick away, and idleness starts to make her restless. She checks her phone. Rose has sent her a selfie with a beaten up old Buick asking if Rey is jealous she's not at work today. It makes her chuckle. Finn has sent her a gif of a cat dozing off over its own food bowl.

Eventually she wanders over and puts on Ben's jacket just to amuse herself. It smells good. Like fresh air and new leather and the faint trace of cologne. It fits her poorly. She laughs at how ridiculously large it is. She grabs the handholds at what should be the waist and wonders what it would feel like if the roles were reversed and Ben were the one holding onto her while she piloted them through the city. He'd dwarf her. If she took a corner too tightly and threw him, he'd drag her off with no effort at all.

What would really be fun, she thinks, would be to race him. A remote country road, him on a bike, her on her own, and nothing but open asphalt ahead of them. She'd skunk him, she's pretty sure. But the exhilaration of flying through the air with him — that would be a different kind of thrill. If she had to show him her world, it might not have quiet little coffee shops or mystical woods.

She puts the jacket back. As she's hanging it up, though, she notices a purchase tag still attached the inside collar. She blinks, surprised. Is Ben in the habit of leaving his tags on this clothes?

Not sure what to make of it, she shrugs it off and goes back to his desk. Nudging the mouse brings the computer up, timed out and back to the login screen. She taps in the password she watched Ben put in earlier and starts snooping.

There aren't many files saved onto the computer itself. His cloud storage is pretty spartan too, everything neatly organized into folders within folders. She doesn't find much interesting. A lot of business stuff she doesn't care about, an email exchange with an angry Hux blaming him for the most recent litigations some big wig has brought against the company. There is a list of department heads and their most devastating secrets. This one entertains her briefly.

Buried deep in some folders she finds an app entitled HawkEye. Mostly bored and a little curious, she opens it up. An innocuous box pops up on the screen asking her which file name she'd like to open. She chooses a random one, and a live camera feed opens up on the screen. It's an external view, outside Empire itself, on some public street.

"Sneaky," Rey says softly.

Because she has spent enough time on this particular street to recognize it immediately. The Westfalia is even sitting in the lot, waiting for her to come finish it. Han hasn't left for the day yet.

So _that's_ how Ben has been keeping tabs on his father without missing endless days of work. And also how he noticed her coming around, she realizes.

But is he only watching the shop? There are other file names. She opens another and the camera feed shows a marina. A third opens to — yep. A short, single-level apartment building, shabby and aging. _Chandrillan Gardens_ it says in overly ornate cursive letters wrought in iron on the pale brick side of one of the apartments. Rey quickly takes out her phone again, this time to type the name into a search. It pulls up with an address.

This is probably where Han lives.

At first, she is triumphant. Ben tried to prevent her from finding this information, but inadvertently led her to it himself. The version of her that is still facing off against him in that tunnel, frustrated and powerless, gloats with the subversion. But her better self, the one that has spent all day showing him pieces of her heart and being given pieces of his own in return, churns in dread.

She closes out of the surveillance app and swivels the chair to look out at the world now fading to twilight.

Before she had this piece of information, she could defer her responsibility, putting it off with the excuse that she couldn't catch Han yet. But now she can. She knows she can. Ben is comfortable. He might even drop her off tonight and just go home, not thinking twice about following her to make sure she stays away from his old man. Because what kind of heartless monster could still take his father away after the kind of day they've had?

But if she could be the heartless monster, she could put an end to this tonight. She could go to Han's home and surprise him. She could put him in her car and drive all the way back to Colorado. Back to Griff, with his big payout and big promises. Back to Mando and Dyn, which is where, even now, her heart aches to be.

It would mean leaving her friends.

And worse, it would mean hurting Ben.

Rey shudders. She wishes she'd never messed with his computer, never acquired this knowledge. She could simply tell Ben she found it. She could tell him and admit her dilemma and then the choice would be taken away from her and she wouldn't have to make it because he'd make it for her. Because however close they've gotten this afternoon, she knows he isn't capable of just rolling over and letting her take his father. He is still a little kid clinging to the hope that if his dad is back, it means they have a chance to reforge the relationship.

The door jostles and Rey springs out of the chair in alarm.

Ben comes through, cheeks flushed, eyes bright with exhilaration.

"Ben," Rey says, blinking in surprise. "That took longer than I thought."

She comes around to the other side of the desk. He meets her, swallowing the distance between them in two quick strides. His huge hands find her waist and he gently pushes her backwards until she bumps up against the desktop and sits down onto it.

"Rey," he breathes, and she can feel he is trembling.

Wow, quitting has really gotten him all worked up, hasn't it? Not that she minds — his hands feel _really_ good on her, and the way his gaze drops feverishly to her lips makes her flush white-hot.

"Um," she says, trying to drag her mind back into focus. "Does this mean —" she has to suck in a deep breath. He is so close and so full of intensity that it makes her head spin. "Does this mean it went well?"

Somehow Ben has gotten himself between her knees, and his eyes are practically glowing with a victorious gleam. He looks so _alive_. But she has to lean back a little on her hands to give herself some breathing room because this sudden fire in him is heating her by its sheer proximity.

"Yes, it went well. Rey, he's gone."

Her nose wrinkles, brow drawing together in confusion. "Who?"

"Snoke."

"Your boss?"

"Yes. The CEO fired him right there in front of me."

"Okay..." she waits for the rest of the information. Clearly he wants some kind of reaction from her, some congratulations or elation, but she honestly doesn't know what to make of this news. "So...you can just walk away without any strings attached?"

He shakes his head. "No, I'm not leaving."

"What?" she chokes.

"Apparently there has been a big shakeup happening all day. A lot of people have been fired. Department heads are being shifted around. When I got there to resign, the CEO was already furious with Snoke, and my letter made it worse. He fired Snoke and promoted me to his position. Director of Operations. I'd be directly beneath the CEO himself. This is the opportunity of a lifetime."

He's so excited, and Rey wants to be excited for him, but there is a sinking feeling inside her and her skin crawls. "But...I thought you hated it here?"

"That doesn't matter," he says, shaking his head.

"So your boss was the problem and things will be better without him? Because I thought you were tired of being so isolated here. Will that change now?"

Ben realizes she isn't celebrating with him, and his hands fall away from her. He takes a step back, lips pulling into a frown. "Rey, this is the greatest moment of my career."

"A career...you don't want..." she says slowly, easing herself off the desk, trying to understand. Has she merely made the same mistake his family did? Had she prescribed a future for him without asking if that's what he wanted? She tries to remember back to the day before, at the auto shop, talking by his car. He _had_ said he was miserable here, hadn't he? And today too, right?

"Maybe I do want it," he says, almost defensive now. The feverish light in his eyes is cooling, disappointed by her lack of enthusiasm. "I've been trained my whole life for a career in this field. It's finally paying off."

Rey cannot wrap her head around what is happening. Empire is one of the biggest companies in the entire world, and Ben could be at the veritable helm of it, a powerful force for good and ill. It _is_ a once-in-a-lifetime chance, and certainly the capstone of any career. But Rey chafes at the thought of it. She feels sick inside. Like she's watching him reach for a prize just beyond his grasp on the other side of a huge chasm. She wants to save him before he falls in, but she doesn't know how. Not if this is what he wants.

"Rey," he says, making another desperate attempt to get her on board. "This might be the answer."

"What answer?"

"For — for us. Forget my father, and your bounty hunter. Forget the auto shop. Forget everything you've been using to figure out who you're supposed to be. This is it. It's here before us. You don't have to do any of those things. Come work with me here. I can put you in any position you want. We need someone with your talents on our R&D team. Stay here in Seattle and make a new life for yourself."

Rey winces, flinching away from this idea with every fiber of her soul. "That's ridiculous, Ben, you know that. I don't have any qualifications for employment here. I don't have a degree if anything. Your employees would riot to have someone so poorly prepared for the position dumped on them."

"We can pay for your education," he says offhandedly. "You aren't poorly prepared for anything."

"No. I can't work for you." She shakes her head. "That's...a power dynamic I can't get into with you."

This thing where they are both adversaries and allies, diametrically opposed in the business of his father but inexorably drawn together in shared trauma and the hunger for family — that dynamic is complicated enough. Now these new budding feelings, whatever they are, have salted the mixture. She cannot put herself into a situation where he has professional power over her like that. She knows, instinctively, it will ruin everything.

Besides, the sad truth of it is that Ben is only a recent fascination in her life — even if he is an unusually powerfully one — and Mando and Dyn have been her heart's yearning for much longer. She cannot abandon them to move here permanently. To work for a company she morals objects to on every level. Just to be near a man who is the same kind of messed up that she is?

"This is the biggest moment of my life," he says. "I want you here to be part of it."

"I can't," Rey says again, helpless and miserable.

"I have these feelings." Ben's voice drops to something more gentle now. He shakes his head. "For you. I don't know what it means, or why it is. I shouldn't. But I feel better when I'm with you, and I don't want that to go away. I want you to have a future that is worthy of you. A job that is worthy of your talents. People who deserve your selfless love. I think that can happen here. Please, Rey. Let go of the wreckage. Build something new, with me."

A shudder works through her, an instinct inside her screaming to reassure him. That she feels the same way. That he isn't alone. That she isn't going anywhere, even if she doesn't support his mad notion of bringing her to work for him. But she can't do any of that. Instead she bites her lip and squeezes back a stab of pain, saying with all the ache inside her:

"If this promotion what you want, and if this is what will bring you happiness, then I am happy for you. But I can't stay here, Ben. Not here in this company, and not here in this city. I have to honor the contract I accepted. I won't go back on my word. This...this is the way."

Shock and dismay transform him into a young boy momentarily, and then betrayal turns him back into a man at once. "You're still going to arrest my father?"

"Ben..." she pleads. She needs him to understand.

He backs away from her further, and vanished is the person she spent the day with. In his place is the wraith from the tunnel, the icy figure of a person who looks at her with coldness. "Clearly we have misunderstood each other."

Rey's throat hurts and her head pounds. She wants to get away from this place.

"I have to go..." she whispers, soft and sad. "Can you take me home?"

"I'd rather not," he says stiffly. "I'll have my secretary call you a cab."

Without another word, he turns sharply and sweeps out of the office.

Silence engulfs her. Rey wipes at her eyes, embarrassed to find them wet with unspilled tears. She tries to compose herself, but the throbbing, painful sensation inside her is growing and her whole body is shaking. She has to get out of here quickly before she breaks down in front of all these strangers.

Outside Ben's office, the bullpen employees pretend to be working, but she can see their still curious glances flashing up to her as she hurries across to the secretary's desk.

The woman gives Rey a plastic smile. "I was instructed to secure you transportation. It is already done. You may wait downstairs in the lobby. Your town car should be arriving in a few minutes."

Rey nods, unable to risk a trembling voice to thank her. She enters the elevator instead. A couple floors down, a trio of people get on. They ignore her, whispering softly and conspiratorially to each other the gossip of Snoke's firing and massive restructuring at the top. They don't speak flatteringly of Ben. It only hurts Rey more to hear them, knowing that she is abandoning him to his lonely throne, feared and hated instead of loved.

The CEO, the big fat spider at the center of this web, has certainly spun his careful snare for Ben, and caught himself the one who would get away.

Down in the lobby, Rey chews her lip and tries to think of anything that will save her from tears — car parts, outrageous fugitive recovery situations, whatever bits of politics she knows of, Finn's latest romantic interest, anything.

It barely works, and she manages to hang on until a sleek black car pulls up and the driver announces that he is there to take her home. She gets in the back seat, and only there, leaning her head against the doorframe, does she let her heart break.

* * *

**A/N:**

I'M SORRY! Don't hate me. Many of you saw it coming, and you were right. But remember, I promise, I promise a happy resolution to this little bit of angst now!

Thank you so, so, so much for your reviews. They make my whole day. I will get to some comment replies on the next chapter, I'm just impatient to put this one up now since it's already taken me so long.


	14. Chapter 14

chapter fourteen: how much for a favor?

* * *

It is the sharpness of the pain that surprises her most.

Ben's life is his own. His decision about what to do with it is his own. Rey has no emotional investment in that — or at least, she has no reason to be emotionally invested. From the outside the situation seems pitiable at best. A person with normal feelings might be mildly disappointed that he'd chosen to remain in a career that made him unhappy, just because of the power or fame or money...or whatever it was. But Rey can't have normal feelings about this. She isn't disappointed. She's absolutely devastated.

She thought she'd seen someone deeper than that superficial ambition. She thought he understood, as she does, that all his career decisions thus far have been driven by his family, either directly or indirectly through his need to escape them. He'd acted like he was ready to finally examine himself for his own desires and goals, ready to take on his own life. And she wants that for him.

If Ben could drag his own destiny out of the gnarled mess of trauma, maybe she could too.

But he can't.

And she can't either.

It's a truth she must acknowledge in her moments of most bitter honesty.

That is why he is disappointed in her too. Hadn't he asked the same thing? For her to step away, onto her own path, and she said no? Her need for Mando and Dyn and the family they couldn't be is too powerful to escape. His need for validation and acceptance from an institution which echoes his own family's is too powerful for him, too.

They are both of them trapped.

That night after the town car dropped her off at the apartment, Rey went in with a stomach full of ice because she didn't know how she would explain her crushed mood to her friends. Fortunately, no one was there. So she locked herself in the bathroom, got into the shower, and let go of all the sobs trapped inside her, letting the water wash away the sorrow.

When her friends got home, she rallied and pretended everything was fine. They said she seemed tired. She went with that theory, since it allowed her to sit among them in a subdued, numb state. Jannah needed to go to bed to get up for an early morning case assignment, so Rey went with her and curled into a ball beneath her covers and tried not to think about anything else that had happened that day. Not the ferry or the coffee shop or the woods or Luke or Ben's touch or Ben himself. She failed miserably, but eventually exhaustion took her away.

Now it is morning.

And it is a dull morning.

Rey can hear the sound of tires on wet pavement below, and judging by the muted gray light filtering in through the window, she knows it must be raining again. It's unbearably cliché, and she wants to scream at the sky that this isn't some movie where the weather magically mirrors her mood. She hates that Seattle's sunny, warm day had to coincide with the brightest, loveliest experience she'd ever had, and that now when her heart feels like it has been tossed out to see without a life raft, the rain returns.

"Are you alright?" Jannah asks as she gets ready. Her face is etched with mild concern.

Rey has been staring up at the ceiling, still in bed, thinking about the stupid rain. She glances at her roommate now.

When she doesn't reply, Jannah prods. "You're not bouncing out of bed with your usual vigor. Did everything go alright yesterday?"

"No," Rey says, sitting up slowly. "I've been an idiot."

"What do you mean?" asks Jannah, surprised but gentle. She sits down on the side of Rey's bed while she slips some socks on.

Rey looks at her hands. "I've let myself pretend that I belong here. I've gotten involved. Let myself care."

"About us?"

She nods. "I'm not supposed to stay here. And now...I have to go."

Jannah's eyes widen. "Today?"

"Soon. Very soon. Maybe today, maybe tomorrow. Within the next couple. I've gotten distracted but I still have a job to do, and all I've managed so far is to make attachments that will hurt when I leave."

Because more than anything, Rey has concluded from yesterday's disaster that if she can't escape her future, she will fling herself headlong into it. She will leave this place and turn in Han and accept all the jobs Griff will give her. She will remain a stubborn burr in Mando's life until he finally admits that they are, in fact, a family. Until he agrees that she is not disposable.

Her roommate sighs in soft regret. "I guess I forgot about that part too. You leaving."

"Yeah," Rey says.

It is easier to pretend, for Jannah's sake and her own, that her malaise comes from knowing she will shortly say goodbye to her new friends, her only friends. Jannah tries to comfort her with reassurances that she can come back after her assignment, or that they will come visit her in Colorado, but by the time she leaves for work, both women are simply left with the hollow knowledge that neither of those things are likely.

Rey showers and gets ready for the day, even though she doesn't know what exactly she wants to do. Zorri saves her the choice by inviting her to go grocery shopping at the farmer's market. There, Zorri is all casual friendliness, easy and refreshing to be with. She talks of nothing very serious, but is always interesting, telling Rey about her business and the big decisions ahead of them. She takes them to get lunch and boba tea afterwards. Rey feels better at the end of their outing. Zorri isn't like Jannah or Rose, who are warm and intimate. She is like a cool breeze on a hot day, fleeting and aloof but desperately needed.

After that, she goes to work at Niima for a few hours. Rose isn't there, which is just as well. Rey doesn't need the kind of questions Rose, in her innocence, would ask.

The one she most wants to talk to, besides Ben, is Mando. She wants to spill everything, to tell him all about her hurts. But she doesn't try to call him again. He made it clear last time they spoke that he is determined to make her do this on her own. Besides, she knows he won't understand. The only person she's seen Mando ever care about, after Dyn, is his friend Cara. But they just circle each other endlessly like twin suns in orbit, never actually colliding, each content to live their own lives. Mando would never be heartbroken over Cara's career decisions. And Rey can't explain why Ben means so much to her without getting into the whole deeper issue of her longing for family.

So she doesn't call him.

Instead, when she finishes at Niima, she looks up the address of the _Chandrillan Gardens_ apartments again and goes there to stake it out. She parks a couple blocks away, lest Han recognize her car on his way home. She strolls the block at a leisurely pace, drawing the hood of her jacket up to get her out of the persistent rain and also to obscure her face from the camera she knows must be around here somewhere. She doesn't look for it, though. If by chance Ben is watching, he will certainly notice her looking around. She has to play it cool.

She finds a utility box half-hidden behind a tree across the street from the apartments' designated parking lot, and there she sits to wait.

The apartments are shabby holdouts from the 70's, clearly owned by someone who doesn't care to update them. The people who come and go are familiar to Rey. This is definitely the kind of place she and Mando would come to in pursuit of a skip. In fact, it wouldn't surprise her at all if more than one tenant here is lying low on the wrong side of the law.

She watches the neighbors and thinks about the absurdity of Han living in a place like this, when his family has the wealth, power, and influence that it does. If he were on better terms with his wife, or even his son, he could be in much nicer digs. Then again, maybe Han prefers it this way. Ben did say his father was uncomfortable in his mother's world.

And as if thinking his name had conjured him, Rey becomes acutely aware of Ben's car appearing at the end of the block. It's too nice for this neighborhood. It will stick out like a sore thumb. But he parks it in the darkening gloom of another large tree and manages to more or less blend in. He doesn't get out of his car, and Rey is fairly certain he can't see her.

But her heart starts to race anyway.

Her fists clench and she has to steady herself lest she either burst into tears or go running to his car and demand they fix this misunderstanding right now. Except it isn't a misunderstanding. It's a fundamental impass.

Oh god. But he is so close. And it's only been 24 hours since Empire, but it's already been a miserable lifetime she has lived knowing they are again at odds. How easy it would be to sweep it away.

No, it wouldn't be easy. It wouldn't be easy at all.

As Rey's mind spins in upset circles, Han's Westfalia comes around the corner at the opposite end of the street from Ben and turns into the parking lot.

Rey feels sick. Nausea churns in her stomach. She dares not intercept Han now — not with Ben here. She doesn't want another confrontation with him. She _can't _have another confrontation with him. And if she has to endure his disappointment or hurt again, she will shatter.

So she watches Han unlock and enter his apartment, and then she scrambles off her utility box and flees as quickly and surreptitiously as she can. When she makes it back to her car, her hands are shaking.

"Ben," she groans, dropping her forehead against the top of the steering wheel and closing her eyes.

Her phone buzzes against her thighs. Immediately her heart is in her throat. is it him? Did he see her?

**Jannah:** _Are you home tonight?_

Rey's teeth clench as she bites back a stab of disappointment that her sweet friend does not deserve. She quickly taps out a reply.

_—Heading there now. Do you need a ride?_

**Jannah:** _No, I'm on the train already. I need to talk._

_—Are you okay? Should I call?_

**Jannah:**_ I think I'm okay._

**Jannah:** _But I'm not sure I can talk about it over the phone. Not in public. I might freak out._

_—What's going on?_

**Jannah:** _I'll just tell you about it when we both get home._

_—Okay, sure. I'll be there soon._

Rey sets her phone down and turns the ignition. Jannah has broken the spell that has trapped her here. She is needed by someone else, and her concern for her friend is enough to get her to drive away from Han and Ben.

* * *

She gets home before Jannah does. Finn is the only one there.

Rey sets down her things and sinks down into the couch heavily, like gravity has become unbearable. She is worried for her friend, but the agitation just adds to her physical exhaustion rather than diminishing it. Finn looks up from the football game he's watching on Poe and Zorri's mammoth-huge TV.

"Bad day?" he asks.

"You could definitely say that," she sighs. "Where are the marrieds?"

"Out to dinner with Poe's parents." He kicks his feet up on the coffee table. "You need to talk about what's wrong?"

"No."

"Cool." He gives her a dubious side-glance, and after a second adds, "I'm not judgy, you know. You can tell me anything."

"Don't wanna talk about it, Finn."

"Okay, okay."

She stares up at the game too, but she doesn't take it in at all. Her eyes look right past it, her thoughts a swirling tempest of worry competing with her own problems, longing and reactionary anger a confusing blend inside her. Seeing Ben again and being unable to go to him to fix it has stirred up her irritation. If she sees him again, she doesn't know if she'll scream at him or sob into him, shove him up against a wall and punch him in the mouth or kiss him.

Wandering through these tangled thoughts, she jumps cleans out of her skin when Finn suddenly bellows in alarm and gestures violently at the TV. Some player has made a breakaway and is rocketing down the field by himself.

"Did you see that?" he shouts, turning to her with wide eyes and another demanding sweep of his arm.

Rey is about to reply when behind him, the front door opens and Jannah comes in. As soon as she turns around, it's clear how badly she is shaken. Rey bolts to her feet and hurries over.

"Are you alright?" she gasps. "What happened?"

Finn is distracted away from his game. He stands too, hitting the mute button. "Jannah?"

The other girl's umber skin lacks its normal luster, her warm inner glow replaced by ashen pallor instead. She lets her bag drop to the floor by her feet and shakes the rain out of her hair, her hands trembling with every movement. She allows Rey to take one of those quivering hands and lead her over to the couch.

"I'm alright," she says unevenly.

"Were you jumped?" Finn demands.

"No—"

"Did someone harass you? Say something?"

"No—"

"What happened?"

Rey kicks his shin as Jannah sits down, giving him a discouraging glare. "Maybe if you let her _speak_ we could find out!"

"Sorry," he says, lowering himself beside them.

Rey turns to Jannah and waits for her friend to be ready. She doesn't let go of her hand, giving it a little squeeze instead to let her know she isn't alone.

Eventually Jannah draws a breath and says, voice breaking, "She's looking for me."

Rey gasps. "Phas?"

Jannah looks at her hands. "My boss said a woman called asking if there was an employee there by my name."

"How do you know that was her?" Finn asks, his voice urgent but slightly less insistent. "Did she give her name?"

"No..." Jannah shakes her head. "But I know it was her anyway."

Rey does her best not to let her own alarm seep into her voice. "What did your boss tell her?"

"I told D'Acy about the situation when she hired me, so she knew to be wary. She told her no."

Rey and Finn both sag in relief.

"But how did she figure out you are here in Seattle?" Finn asks after a moment of thought. "You said you changed your number and deleted your social media accounts, right? Did you ever talk about coming here?"

"No," Jannah says, her voice a soft, frightened whisper. "I don't know how she found me."

But there is something else, Rey senses. She can see it in the flicker of her friend's face, the nervous darting of her eyes. Something she isn't saying. Rey touches her shoulder lightly and presses.

"What is it? What are you afraid to say?"

"It...might be my fault."

"What do you mean?"

Jannah sucks in another long breath of air, cringing even as she confesses. "I logged into my HoloNet account a couple days ago."

"You did?" Finn asked, his voice knife-sharp. "Why?"

"I just — I just wanted to check on Phas. I needed to know if she...killed herself...like she always threatened she'd do if I left. I needed to know. Or if she hadn't, I needed to know where she was. You can't see when people are looking at your profile, so I thought there was no way she'd know. She's so bad with technology anyway. It's not like she could figure out that I logged in at all, let alone where from — right? Only HoloNet has that data. I didn't even post or anything. I just looked at her profile, confirmed she was alive and still posting from home, and then I got off rightaway. I would have even used a VPN, but I was on a work computer. I didn't think anything of it, but...now? This doesn't seem like a coincidence."

No, it doesn't.

Rey chews her lip. She can't blame Jannah for being unable to resist a quick check-in. After all, she'd been with her partner for a long time and it was only natural that she'd want to ease her worry that the woman was dead. Phas could not possibly have gleaned Jannah's whereabouts from that...but still...

Rey doesn't really know too much about HoloNet logistics. It is the current dominant social network. Years ago Facebook and Twitter became overrun with neo-nazis and incels, and people with better sensibilities began to slowly migrate over to the newer, nicer HoloNet. The user interface was fresh and fun, far more friendly too, and within a few years both Facebook and Twitter had followed Myspace into the graveyard of utter obsolescence.

But HoloNet is a trap everyone had willingly walked into. It is owned by Empire, and they mine their users' data mercilessly. They are constantly in trouble with the FTC over their abuse of power, but everybody has become far too dependent on the social network to carry through with their threats to quit it, and so no real punishment is ever meted out.

Rey doesn't have an account, which is why she doesn't know too much more about it than its history. Mando absolutely forbade her from ever making one, and she didn't challenge him on it. She was one of the only people in her whole high school who didn't. It was just another thing that made it difficult for her to fit in.

"Are you sure Phas is as bad with tech stuff as you believe?" Rey asks after a moment.

Jannah looks around helplessly. "I thought so! She was seriously so useless. I had to help her with everything! Even sending a file to the printer. But maybe she was faking it? She _was_ really manipulative. Or maybe she's desperate enough to figure it out?"

"I mean," Finn mutters, clearly disturbed, "I don't know how someone could just _figure out_ how to access your data like that without working for Holo or Empire directly. Or maybe knowing someone who does."

A light clicks on in Rey's mind and her body goes very still. She knows someone who works for Empire. Someone who doesn't just work for Empire, but is ranked so high up there is certainly no information that is not accessible to him. He would probably know how data is processed and who can view it.

She feels sick at the thought of contacting him. Her heart is instantly in her throat, a lump of lodged emotion, humiliation and anger and hunger and sorrow and _need_.

"I don't know what she'll do if she can confirm that I am here," Jannah says softly, fearfully.

It's enough. If it'll help Jannah be safe, Rey will set aside her own feelings and reach out to him.

She stands up and drifts away from her friends, scrolling through her contacts. Her finger hovers over Ben's name. She grits her teeth, shoves down the choked sound threatening to gurgle from her, and taps it.

Even as the sound of the other end ringing echoes in her ear, she wonders if it would have been easier to text him. No, she _knows_ it would have been easier to text him. Dammit, why didn't she think of that? Why was her first thought to call him?

Maybe he won't pick up. After all, he's probably even more angry than she is about what happened yesterday.

He picks up.

"Checking to see if I'm still here?" he asks without greeting, and his voice washes over her like rich and warm dark chocolate, answering her question about why she wanted to call.

She almost gasps at the physical reaction it evokes in her. Instead she grips the phone a little tighter and swallows. "What?"

There's a pause on his end, and then he says flatly, "I saw you."

"Saw me..." It takes her half a second, but then she remembers Han's apartment. "Oh."

"Don't play dumb. I know you saw me too."

"You chose the wrong car to try to blend in."

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm planning to be here all night if I need to."

"That's..." she sighs. He sounds so hostile. She can't blame him. "Thanks for the heads up."

"Are you going to back off?"

"I'm not coming back tonight. But I take it you're not just talking about that. The answer is no." She sits at the counter, dropping her head into her hand. "You know why I can't."

"And you know why I can't either."

Rey wants to throw her phone across the room. She wants to scream. The urge to throttle him is back. Why does he have to be so difficult? Why does he have to act like they didn't spend a really good day together, skirting around something they were both drawn to but afraid of?

Because she hurt him, she realizes.

"Why did you call, Rey?" he asks coldly.

And she resents the way her heart skips a beat at the sound of her name in that melted chocolate voice of his, even if he is being icy and distant.

"I need your help."

"With what?"

"I need some information about HoloNet data usage."

"Better get a lawyer."

That throws her off, and her head jerks up from her hand. "I'm sorry?"

"Are you really _that_ disconnected from the news? HoloNet data usage is a hot button issue right now. And I don't think it falls under your purview as a pseudo-law enforcement agent."

"It doesn't." She frowns, glancing at Finn, who has gotten up to heat up some water, no doubt in preparation for some sort of tea to comfort Jannah. Finn is thoughtful like that. "I just need to know about something specific."

"So this isn't an emergency?"

"Emergency?"

"You're not in trouble?"

"No! I'm fine, I..." she shakes her head. "It's not an emergency."

"So this is just a favor? I didn't realize we were doing favors for each other now. You made your opinion of me pretty clear."

"Don't do that," she growls into the phone, her heart throbbing with a flare of pain. "I'm not interested in hashing that out right now. Can you help me or not?"

"You still haven't said what you need help with."

"You haven't given me the opportunity!" she bursts, drawing a concerned look from Finn. She takes a deep breath and steadies herself, saying very calmly and deliberately, "I just need to know how the average luddite would be able to see someone else's login data, like location."

There's a long silence. She doesn't know what it means.

Eventually, Ben says with bemusement, "You don't have an account. I don't think you need to worry about anyone tracking you."

"I — how do you know I don't have an account?"

"Rey."

So she's not the only one who did a little googling when they first met. She pushes this information, and whatever implications it might have, aside and forges ahead. "Okay, well it's not for me. It's for my roommate."

"That's not really enough context for me to be useful."

"But it's not really my story to tell."

There's an exasperated sound on his end. "I'm not asking for the story, just enough so I know specifically what you need."

Finn leans against the cupboards as the tea kettle heats up behind him, folding his arms and staring at her. Jannah is also watching, apparently tuning in. Rey blushes and looks down at the counter as she quickly gives Ben the barest of bare-bones explanations.

"Who?" Finn mouthes.

Rey shakes her head at him.

Finally, after she finishes and another long pause blooms between them, Ben says, "I'll look into it."

She exhales in relief. "Thank you."

"Rey..."

"What?"

"I shouldn't, but I will trust you if you say I can go home tonight. You promise you're not coming back?"

A beat, an ache, and then, "I promise. He's safe tonight. Go home."

"Okay," he says. And then, awkwardly, as if he doesn't know how to end it, "Bye."

"Bye," she whispers.

And then he is gone again, slipped away like sand through her fingers.

She doesn't even have time to mourn the loss when suddenly Finn and Jannah are both on her with questions. Chief among them: Who was that?

"It's..." she stumbles over her answer. "That guy, the son of my fugitive. He's an exec at Empire. I thought he could maybe figure out if Jannah's login was the thing that tipped off Phas."

Jannah's brow furrows in confusion. "You think he'll help you?"

"He said he would."

"Why?"

That was too hard to explain, so Rey glances at Finn, who is giving her a crazy look. "What the hell, Rey? How are you meeting these people? Luke Skywalker? Empire execs? How do you have these influential connections and you've only been here for less than two weeks?"

"It's a really small sphere of people who all happen to be connected to each other," she admits. "It's not that crazy."

Jannah is quiet. The tea kettle starts squealing so Finn quickly preps her tea and brings it to her. She leaves it to steep while she looks at Rey and says after a moment, "Thank you. For trying to help."

"Hopefully he can at least learn enough to take that worry off your mind," Rey says. "And if Phas figures it out and shows up, we'll deal with it."

"You won't be here," Jannah observes, and it sounds like a reproach.

The truth of that lands with sickening impact, and the air leaves Rey as if she'd been punched in the gut. She isn't really part of Jannah's life at all. She's merely a temporary visitor, here and gone again like the fleeting days of autumn.

"But I will be," Finn says. "And so will Poe and Zorri. We won't let anything happen to you."

Jannah gives him a small smile.

He tosses his head towards the TV. "Come on, let's get our minds off of it. The game is no big deal, let's pick a movie instead. Something light-hearted and funny?"

"Yes, please," Jannah says with relief, her smile widening into a grin.

Rey follows them numbly. There's so much she doesn't want to think about, and all of it sits heavily on her chest. The rest of the night does little to ease it. They pick a new comedy about some quiet scientist guy and the fiery spy girl who is forced to work with him, and it doesn't matter how wrong they are for each other, their outrageous hijinks do the work of wooing them and they end up together by the end.

It's funny enough to be distracting, but Rey doesn't feel any better by the end of it.

* * *

Two days later, her reluctance has finally solidified into terrible resolve. It's time to take action. She wakes up early, showering and heading out the door before anyone else is even up. She is afraid of accidentally running in to Ben again, so she limits her wandering to only a couple stops — a cafe for breakfast, and a little international market where she picks up some candies that remind her of Dyn and Mando. After that she heads to Han's shop to sit and wait for him to arrive.

It's a long wait.

Unlike the last few days, the weather looks promising, like it'll be another bath of sunlight. She can't decide if that's better or worse. The rain was so stupidly cliche. But the sun makes her think of Ben and his luminous smile and the warmth of his jacket under her as they roared through the streets.

On the water, fishing boats are returning from the pre-dawn expeditions, the ferries haul their commuting passengers, and huge cargo ships are maneuvering in and out of the docks. Life here has begun for the day.

Rey sinks into the calming rhythm of this morning bustle, breathing deeply the smell of the salty sound and distant trees mingled with asphalt, trying to clear her mind. She hasn't heard back from Ben yet. Part of her is relieved. She wants to make sure Jannah is safe, or do as much as she can before she has to leave, but since the threat doesn't seem imminent, she'd rather not salt the tiny cuts she still wears from what happened in his office.

In the meantime, she has decided to stop agonizing over the Han situation. She's been half-wishing Ben would just get over his issues with his father and tell him — _warn him_ — about Rey. To give him the chance to run. But apparently that hasn't happened, because every day Han is still there at the shop, greeting her with affectionate, dry humor and whatever tools she needs to work on the van. He isn't running away, and so she has continued to delay. But she's done with that now. She has to just _do this_. Han's court date is looming and if he misses it and she fails to bring him in within the grace period, Griff will be out all that money and then both she and Mando will be in huge trouble.

And besides, as she told Ben, she has to do this. Because of her goal. Because of Mando.

"You okay, kiddo?" Han asks a couple hours later when she finally crosses the street and starts working on his car again. Chuy is there, as he always is, but she wasn't planning on ending this that very morning. She has a plan.

A terrible act of betrayal, but a plan nonetheless.

She glances up, pulling herself out of her own head and glancing at Han. He leans against the back of the car, looking down at her.

"Yeah," she says, rallying an unconvincing smile. "Sorry. Just lost in thought."

"You seem to be doing that a lot lately," he observes. "Something on your mind?"

She clears her throat and looks away. "A bit, yeah."

"Come on, then." He sighs in a big exaggerated huff, as if this is _such_ an inconvenience, drawing from her a more genuine smile. He shuts the rear hatch leading to the engine block. "Let's get this over with."

Rey laughs, and it feels good. She follows him up the steps and into the shop. Chuy is there, his big meaty fingers tapping slowly over the keys on their office computer. He munches a bowl of popcorn and hums a tuneless thing, eyes barely flicking up from the screen when they enter. He gives her a nod.

"Don't mind him," Han says dismissively. "Just dealing with some of our suppliers. I told him I'm a much better negotiator, but he's insisting on doing it himself. I just hope he doesn't cost us."

Chuy barks a sardonic laugh. "You're a terrible negotiator. I always have to fix up your messes."

Han's chest puffs in indignation. "I am not! And no you don't."

Chuy chuckles.

Han pulls over a couple stools on wheels and snags two sodas out of the mini-fridge behind the front desk. He motions at Rey.

"Sit down and tell me what's bugging you. Trouble at work?"

"Sort of," she says as she sits.

"Hear that?" Han says to Chuy, his eyebrows lifting. "She's unhappy. Maybe now is our chance to poach her and bring her on board."

She grins, but a flash of guilt and pain flicker through her and it falls away again quickly. Han is so frustratingly likeable. He's not making it any easier for her to betray him. She bites her lip as everything she's keeping bottled up inside pushes against her ribs, trying to erupt past the lump in her throat and come spilling out in full confession. But she can't do that.

She can, however, give him pieces of the truth.

"I'm sort of stuck," she says with a slow release of air. "I'm supposed to do something, but I know it will hurt the people I've grown to care about. It doesn't feel right to go through with it, but I can't go back on my word either. I'm not sure where the high road is here."

Han nods. "Yep, I've been there before. Sometimes there is no damn high road. Sometimes either way you go sucks."

"Yeah," Rey says softly. "That's what this feels like."

"So I take it from your vagueness that you aren't interested in giving me details."

"Not really. It's so complicated."

"Okay, well without knowing your situation here, my advice for you kiddo is that you should honor your word. You're young. You might be able to get away with a few mistakes. But it's important to establish yourself as dependable and honest, before you become a corrupted old scoundrel like me."

He laughs. Chuy laughs.

Rey wants to, but her laughter has sputtered out into a thin wisp of smoke. Han wouldn't be giving her this advice if he knew that it meant his own undoing. "You think I should, even if my word will hurt someone I care about?"

"Is it the right thing to do?"

"I don't know! I thought we just covered that in the whole thing about high roads. I think it is, but it feels wrong."

He rubs his stubbly chin. "I'm really not an expert at these things. In fact, I'm probably whatever the opposite of an expert is. A total ignoramus, maybe. Now Leia, my wife, she always seems to know what the right thing to do at any given moment is. Strong moral compass, that one."

It's the first time Han has mentioned his wife by name, even though she heard it from Luke already. Rey looks at him in surprise.

He offers a gruff laugh of acknowledgement. "Yeah, yeah. I got a wife. She doesn't like me too much, though. We haven't spoken in a while."

"Why not?" Rey asks, confident that he won't be offended by her prying.

He isn't. "Oh, you know. People grow apart. Love stories don't end at _happily every after_ in real life. You gotta keep living together and annoying the bejeezus out of each other."

It's as obvious a deflection as Rey has ever heard, but she won't call him out on it. She doesn't feel the need to ferret out Han's secrets the way she does with his son.

"I'm sorry," she says instead.

He waves her off. "Not your fault, kid, and it's not important. Leia would definitely tell you to stick to your word. And she's probably right. Whatever it is, Rey, you'd better do it. If these people care about you as much as you care about them, they'll understand."

Rey's gaze drops to her lap and she scrubs at her eyes with her heels, sighing wearily. "I don't know. I have a tendency to get more attached to people than they are to me, so I doubt it."

Chuy makes a low growling sound of disapproval, chiming in. "You should not be throwing your heart at boys who don't treat it well."

"Boys? Who said anything about boys?" Han shoots his friend a wild look. "When did this become about that?"

Rey does laugh then, because it catches her off guard. "I wasn't exactly talking about a boy, Chuy. But I guess you're intuitive because there is one. I haven't exactly thrown my heart at him. But I did think we understood each other. Turns out I was wrong."

Han points at her and his eyes narrow. "Be careful. Men are pigs. Take it from me, _I'd know_. I am one."

She laughs again, and the perpetual knot in her chest is momentarily forgotten. Chuy agrees that Han is a pig, but _he_ is much more respectful. Han argues. They bicker good-naturedly for a moment, and then Chuy starts regaling them with the story of how he wooed his wife. The mood lightens considerably.

By the time Rey is ready to leave, she has almost forgotten what was weighing so heavily on her when she got up this morning. But it comes crashing back down the moment Han asks if she'll be back tomorrow.

"I..." she pauses, and her hearts thuds rebelliously, furiously, against her ribs. "Actually, I was wondering if you could meet me tomorrow before my shift. I saw a little shop by my apartment that sells different kinds of bobble toys. You can't have a sixties Westie without a hulu dancer or some other kind of bobble on the dash. But it's your car, so you should pick it out."

Han gives her one of his crooked grins. "Okay, deal. Where's it at?"

"Here." She finds a notepad and scribbles down her address. "Meet me out front and we can walk together. I have other questions I could use your advice on."

"Chuy can't come," Han warns, "if you're hoping for his advice too. He's got to be here in the morning. He's more romantic than I am, if you have questions about the boy."

"No," she says. She knew Chuy wouldn't be. She knows their routines very well by now, and she knows that Chuy receives and sends shipments every morning. "They're not. And it's okay if he doesn't come."

He chuckles. "Alright then, you got it."

"Meet at ten?"

"Sure."

Rey chews the inside of her cheeks briefly, stifling the overwhelming urge to take it all back and tell him the truth. But she doesn't. He will know the truth soon enough — tomorrow. And by then, it will be too late to run. For all of them.

* * *

**A/N:** Big long chapter for today! Next update will probably be Tuesday or Wednesday!

Comment replies:

Kitty Star Shipper: omg thank you so, so, so much! That made my whole week. There will be more reylo fluff ahead too, even if the ship has hit some rocky shoals at the moment :)

Hartmannclan: Aww, haha I'm sorry to break your heart! But yes, I promise that everything will be fixed.

Guest1: Thank you! I'm pleased it worked on the emotional level. All your questions will be answered, and we will see happy Ben again! They've both got to sort out their nonsense and then they'll be fully ready for each other.

Guest2: Haha! Your review came in right as I was proofing this chapter! Sorry to keep you hanging a little longer, I was going to update yesterday but work needed me to do some weekend hours and I was brain dead by the end.


	15. Chapter 15

**a/n:** it's a long one. buckle up.

* * *

chapter fifteen: see you around

* * *

That night Rey returns to the apartment and announces to her friends that she will be leaving in the morning. Finn and Poe both react with dismay and protest. Zorri immediately declares they will be going out to a nice dinner all together to make her last night memorable. Jannah hugs her tight and says nothing at all. The evening is wildly fun, even with Rey's heart still caught in a vice, even with the reproachful looks of regret she keeps getting from everyone now and then. Zorri skillfully crafts a night of revelry in which nobody has too much time to think about the bitterness of an impending goodbye. She even manages to get Rey to think about something other than Ben and Han, which feels like nothing short of a miracle.

In the morning, Zorri and Poe get up extra early to make a lavish breakfast for everyone. But the carefree feelings from the night before are gone, and Rey's eyes well up with tears when she emerges from the room, packed and ready to go, to see the beautiful spread. She can barely eat what they've made, with her stomach full of knots. Still, she loves them for having done it.

And the worst part of it comes when Jannah leaves for work. She hugs her and says that she loves Rey, that she always will, that she doesn't want Rey to go but that she hopes they can see each other again soon.

The only person in Rey's life who has ever said the word _love_ to her is Dyn. It's all she's ever wanted, and now, realizing that she has it with this woman who has become something like a sister to her, breaks her. It's worse a few minutes later when Rose sends her a goodbye text and says the same thing. Rey wants to throw all her belongings back in her shared room with Jannah and tell Mando she's never coming back. The impulse is so strong, she almost, almost does it.

Leaving is a terrible mistake.

A mistake Ben tried to get her to realize a few days ago. But the pull towards her family, the people she wanted to _be_ her family anyway, is still tugging at her. And she needs to hold Dyn again. As much as her friends love her, they can't fill the void where Mando should be.

When all is said and done, Rey finds herself once again sitting on the boulder outside the apartment building, waiting for Han. Her belongings are in her car, and her mind is occupied with the memory of sitting in this same spot the morning Ben came to pick her up. It aches, so she tries to set it aside. Her heart feels like a lump of cold iron in her chest.

Getting back to Mando and Dyn will be a relief. All of this will fade into a surreal memory, and life as she's known it for the last ten years will resume. As complicated and dissatisfying as it was, it isn't as difficult as all of this.

The day is sunny and beautiful yet again. A fine final morning, whispering to her of ferries and forests and bookstore coffee shops. And of a boy with dark eyes and a shy smile.

And then Ben is there. Not just in memory, but really there. Like her thoughts can conjure him. His car pulls up, purring in that deep, throaty way it has, and he gets out.

Rey _panics_.

She scrambles off the rock. Han is due any second, and she does not want Ben here for this part. The betrayal. Did he know? Is that why he came? Is he here to stop her? _How_ did he know?

He seems surprised to see her. When he approaches, a pale yellow file folder in his hands, he says with mild amusement, "Do you actually live in this building, or do you just hang out homeless outside of it?"

Part of Rey wants to smile. Even to laugh a little at the quip. But an icy hand is squeezing her heart and her breath fails her when she tries to make any sound.

He lifts a brow. "Are you alright?"

"Uh-huh," she manages to gasp.

"You sure? You've gone really pale."

She swallows, her glance falling to the folder in his hands instead of his face. "What are you doing here?" she asks softly.

"I have the information you wanted." He hands her the folder. "About your friend. Turns out her ex _does_ have an insider doing her dirty work. She's been involved with Hux in a really twisted on-again-off-again relationship for over a decade. Even while she was with your roommate. I found some of their emails." He grimaced. "And now I'm scarred for life. But the point is, he's been pulling data at her request and feeding it to her. When your roommate logged in, he saw immediately and sent her the information. I've compiled everything I found and included a sworn affidavit that I believe them both to be a threat to her safety. That should help her get a restraining order, if she wants it."

Rey stares at him, her mouth parting in shock, and very quickly it becomes impossible to see him for the tears welling in her eyes. Whatever control she's barely clinging to dissolves and she launches herself at him, pressing her face into his enormous chest as she wraps her arms around him.

He stumbles a little at the force of her embrace, his body going rigid beneath her, as if he doesn't know what to do with himself.

"Thank you," she says into him, her voice breaking around a choked sob. "Ben. Thank you."

Carefully, gently, he takes hold of her shoulders and pulls her away from him, pushing her back a step. His narrow face, beautiful and sharp, softened only by those lips she so badly wants to taste, stills in a look of concern.

"You're not alright. What's going on?"

She wipes at her eyes and shakes her head. "Sorry. I'm sorry. I really appreciate this. You didn't owe me this favor, but you did it, and I —"

_I don't deserve it_. The words die in her throat before she can say them. She opens the folder, flipping through the pages, her hands shaking. She doesn't want this white flag right now. She needs him to be angry and hostile so that the part that comes next will be easier. His kindness has pierced right through her.

A flutter of movement catches her attention, and she glances down the sidewalk. Her whole soul drops out of her body in absolute horror when she sees the familiar figure walking towards them, his crinkled hazel eyes widening as he takes in the scene.

She shoves the folder back to Ben's hands and seizes him, turning him so that he is facing away from his father. "Go," she says urgently. "I need you to take this upstairs for me. Take this to apartment 1138."

"What?" he says, baffled.

"Zorri is there. She can hang on to the folder for Jannah."

But it's too late.

"Ben?" Han says in frank surprise.

God, no. Not now.

Ben's whole body jerks immediately at the sound, like lightning has cracked through him. He stiffens and turns, his face flickering through a myriad of emotions as he observes his father materializing here beside them.

"Rey?" Han looks to her for explanation, since his son seems shocked into silence.

But Ben isn't too shocked to realize what's happening. He turns to Rey too, but she doesn't know what horrible thing has taken hold of his expression because she can't meet his eye.

She looks at Han instead. "H-hi," she says miserably.

"What's going on?" Han asks. "Ben, what are you doing here?"

But Ben ignores his father. "Really?" he says to Rey, low and chilly.

"I'm sorry," she whispers again. "I'm so sorry."

"You're a traitor."

"Ben," she pleads, but doesn't know what she wants from him. Maybe for him to understand. She must follow through on her commitment. He's always known that. Whatever has changed between them, this hasn't, even if it feels like a wretched choice now. A monstrous choice. The wrong choice.

"No," he says harshly. "Don't do that. Don't say it like that. You can't manipulate me for sympathy points."

She flinches. "I'm not trying to. I know this hurts you, and I wish there were another way."

"There is. You could forget it."

"If it's not me, it will be somebody else, Ben. Stopping me doesn't stop what's coming."

"I don't care. At least it won't be _you_ who's done it. You could walk away from this."

"I can't!" she cries, frustrated now. "I'm not like you. I can't just turn my back on everything!"

"He doesn't deserve your loyalty," he snarls. "Your failed father figure. You think you need him, but you don't. Cut him off. Be your own damn person."

"Me? What about you? You rip out every person who cares for you, like they're weeds. You're running away from their expectations and hiding in resentment instead of becoming who _you_ want to be."

"Hey!" Han barks, cutting into their increasingly emotional argument. It's starting to play out like what happened in his office again, and Rey feels like she's falling to pieces. "Son, tell me what's going on."

Ben steels himself and finally faces his father. "I'm here to protect you."

"From what?" Han asks, a single brow lifting as his gaze darts around in bewilderment.

All the kindness is gone from Ben now. When he looks at Rey again, all she can see is a stranger. Furious and hostile.

Shebattles back another wave of tears threatening to break through the cracks in her hastily build shield of anger. She isn't angry at all, really. She can't be. Not at him. She's guilty and hurt and all of it is so unbearable she wants to flee.

"Wait," Han says, glancing between them and their mutual deadly glares. "You two? Rey, _he's_ your boy trouble?"

A hot breath of air bursts through Ben's nose and he steps between his father and Rey, pushing Han back a little. "Dad, she isn't what you think she is. She's been lying to you."

Han leans around his son and points at Rey. "I _told_ you men are trouble. And somehow you went and got all involved with this joker? Of all the people in the whole city?"

Rey sucks in a draught of air, trying to get a hold of herself, trying to reel in her heaving emotions. "Han," she starts.

But Ben cuts her off. "Dad, you're not listening to me."

Han looks back at his son. The child with whom, by their own mutual admission, he's not had much of a relationship in years. His face softens and his shoulders fall. "Alright, son. I'm listening. Tell me."

"She's a bounty hunter. She's only been getting close to you so she can get you away from Chuy and arrest you."

Rey's stomach clenches and she can't remember how to breathe at all. This is the moment she's been dreading for weeks now. Her hand strays to her taser, the pain in her throat sharpening. She doesn't want to take Han by force. She doesn't want to put electric prongs into Ben's chest and send him spasming onto the ground. She doesn't want to see him like that. This can't end in such an ugly scene. But she will if she has to because she's come too far to turn back now.

But then a strange thing happens. Han gives Ben that crooked little smile that is so characteristic of him.

"I know," he says.

Ben jerks backwards as if his father had just slapped him. "You do?"

"You do?" Rey echoes, aghast.

Han chuckles. "You kids think this is my first time around the block. I've been at this game longer than either of you have been alive."

Ben is looking at his father like he's suddenly a stranger. "How long have you known?"

"The whole time. Since she followed Chuy and me to the old tunnel," he replies easily.

Rey makes a choked sound.

"Why," she asks helplessly, "Why did you let me hang around so much?"

Han shrugs. "I liked you. You're not the normal types they send after me, not by a longshot. So you were a curiosity, for one. And two, your talent with the cars is not an act. That's real stuff. I figured I'd let you get your fill of whatever it is you needed, and then when you were ready, we'd do this."

He motions in the air between them.

Rey gapes, speechless.

Ben stares too, though his astonishment quickly becomes tinged with outrage. "You came here today knowing what she planned to do?"

"Sure."

"Why?" He sounds both suspicious, and somehow, lost and childlike. "Why wouldn't you run?"

Han smiles now, soft and rueful. "Do you know why I came back to the country?"

"You always come back eventually. I just assume you make more money here."

"Nope. Actually Russia is a much better market, believe it or not," Han laughs. "The pay is way better. I've always come back for you. And this time, I decided to come back for good."

This blow sends Ben reeling, and he inhales a sharp, unsteady breath.

Han continues. "I want to be here for you. I'm sorry I didn't do that before. I failed you by being so absent. I know I can't make up for any of that, so I haven't pushed you to have a relationship with me. But I'm not going anywhere now. I'll be here whenever you're ready."

He touches Ben's cheek briefly. And then his hand falls away, and he gently moves Ben aside, coming up beside Rey. He holds out his loose fists, ready for her to cuff him. "Let's go, kiddo."

Rey stares at his face, searching, astonished, wanting to know so much more than he's saying. Dazedly she pulls the handcuffs out of her back pocket and flicks them open.

"No!" Ben says sharply, reaching.

But Rey anticipates him this time and yanks them just out of his grasp before he can snatch them with those giant lightning hands of his.

Han turns to Ben with a discouraging look. "Ben, you have to let it happen."

"No I don't," Ben snaps. "You won't be here for me if you're in jail."

"I'm not going anywhere while I'm in there," Han says simply, that sardonic smile returning. "You could come visit if you want. I'll have all the time in the world."

"I can't let her take you," Ben says, quieter now. And Rey stares at him, trembling, because there is a hitch in his voice, furious at it is, and his eyes are suddenly glistening.

"I know, son," Han says gently, giving him a pat. "Rey needs to do her job. It's okay. As soon as I get out, I'm coming right back here. If you want, we can try to rebuild what we broke a long time ago. If you don't, that's okay too. I'll still be right here."

"Dad," Ben says miserably.

Han turns back to Rey and lifts his hands again. "We're burning daylight, short stuff."

Rey's own tears are spilling generously and traitorously as she puts the cuffs back in her pockets. She doesn't even try to wipe them away. "If you're coming voluntarily," she manages to say, "I don't need to put them on."

Han's arms drop to his sides and he nods. "Okay then. Where's this hunk of junk car you've got?"

"It's in the lot," Rey motions.

"And you're _sure_ it'll make it all the way?" Han teases.

She nods, the faintest, weakest of smiles coaxed out by his attempts at light-heartedness. But then she glances at Ben again.

He looks like a man who has just watched his dog get run over. She's never seen him so stricken. Another overwhelming urge to comfort him rises up, but she can't. She can't do anything for him at all.

"Rey," he chokes. "Please."

She wants to put her lips to his cheek, to reassure him, to remind him that she cares. But it would be the kiss of Judas, and so she doesn't. Instead she just looks at him in anguish, her lower lip trembling, and whispers, "I'm sorry, Ben."

Then she and Han are walking away from him, and every step further tears away more pieces of her soul and leaves them drifting behind her.

* * *

xxx

* * *

Han sits in the front seat.

Rey knows he isn't going to be violent, so she doesn't make him get in the caged back. She shouldn't have wasted the expense of having it installed, but then, she hadn't known he would surrender himself so easily. And since this will be her life now, she will inevitably pick up a few uncooperative skips in the future.

They do not speak for the first hour of their journey. Rey is still rattled from the scene outside the apartment building, haunted by the expression on Ben's face and the knowledge that she'd just left him there in that devastation. She doesn't really know what to say to Han now.

As for Han, he sits there comfortably, like he's perfectly at ease, just casually pondering the city as it falls away. But he is never this quiet, so she knows he must have more on his mind than he's letting on.

Finally, when she needs to escape the wretchedness of her own head, Rey asks softly, "You really knew what I was the whole time?"

"Yep," says Han. "Don't let it kill your confidence. I've had a lot of practice spotting your kind. Though you were kinda different, I'll admit."

"Did you know Ben was keeping an eye on you too?" she presses, disregarding his commentary. She'll have to process the implications of being found out later, when a little self-reflection is in order. Right now she loathes herself too much for honest assessment.

"Now that one _did_ come as a surprise to me," he admits. "How'd he do it? I never saw him hanging around."

"He has cameras."

Han whistles. "Wow, the kid was motivated, huh?"

Rey doesn't know what to say to this. Thinking about Ben brings a fresh wave of sorrow to this car trip, and she doesn't know what to do with it, so she sits in silence and watches the road dip into open countrysides.

"So how did you two meet?" Han asks. "Because that was also a big surprise."

So Rey tells him. More or less. She tells him the basic timeline, about the tunnel and the alleyway, about the impromptu rideshare, and running into him at the market, and Ben coming to the shop for a windshield repair. She even tells Han about Empire, and how she thought Ben was ready to break away, to make his own future. Her voice wavers when she tells him about that part. She keeps back the most personal details. The coffee shop. Their conversation in the woods. Ben's muddled confession at Empire. There are things she doesn't want to share with him. But they ring in the empty spaces between her words anyway, and she's pretty sure Han can draw his own conclusions from what she doesn't say.

She also tells him about meeting Luke, and the hostile relationship between nephew and uncle.

Han sighs heavily at that part.

"Yeah," he admits. "Sending him to Luke was a mistake. We thought it would be the best thing for him. Leia and I were struggling to know how to help him. He was just angry all the time. And Leia, she loves him so much, but she's bound to her duty and honor in a way none of the rest of us can compete with. It's not selfishness, really, or career-obsessed. I don't know, it's hard to explain. But Ben needed her, and she wasn't there for him. She tried to make a place for him in her world, but he didn't go for that. And I didn't know how to be a father, really. It was easy when he was little, but as he got older…"

Han trails off, shaking his head. "I didn't know how to relate to him. Leia and Luke were determined to bring him on board, and I figured I'd only corrupt him, because I am the wrong person for that kind of life. So I stepped back and did my own thing. That is my fault. I thought he'd be better off without me."

"He isn't," Rey says softly.

Han sighs, rubbing a hand through the stubble on his cheek. "Yeah well. You can come in and see that as an outsider, but it took me way too long to figure it out. I really thought Luke would be a better example than me. He isn't as directly involved in the day to day operations of their business, so Leia and I figured he'd have more time for Ben. He was totally open to it when we asked. Excited, even. But I don't know what happened. It just fell apart, year after year, getting worse and worse. Finally after graduate school, Ben cut us all off completely."

Rey wishes they'd stop talking about this, because it doesn't make her feel any better. In fact, it makes her feel worse. Her eyes sting with tears _again_ and she is angry at herself for how much she's been crying today.

Han looks at her, and she knows he can see it. He shifts uncomfortably in his seat. "It's okay to talk about what you're feeling, kiddo. You'll get no judgement from me."

As if her heart had just been waiting for the permission, all her emotions boil into an eruptive rage.

"You want to know what I'm feeling? You want the truth? I'm trying to convince myself I don't hate you," she breaks, fire gushing out of her at the words, rising like flames over her skin. "Screw all of you. You all have the thing I've been wanting all my life. Do you know how long I've wanted a real father? God, a _mother? _I can't — and there are more of you than that! An uncle. Grandparents. I've wished every single day of my entire life for a family who loves each other. But you all just threw it away, each of you, treating each other like acquaintances you can just pick up and set down again at your leisure, playthings when you want them, nuisances to discard when you don't. You're all so focused on your own shit that you don't _see_ each other. You stayed in your own worlds, instead of making one together. And you taught Ben to do the same thing, so that's what he did with you. You're all trash, Han. All of you. You're all garbage and I don't want what you have. I don't."

She's shaking with anger and suppressed sobs by the end, and she feels absolutely stupid for getting so worked up. She wipes her eyes furiously, trying to maintain focus on the road. It's the only thing she can do to hang on to any sense of reality.

Han doesn't say anything, and she doesn't know if he's offended or not.

The minutes tick by in extended silence. He stares out the window. Rey feels no impulse to put him at ease or soften the lash of her words. Let him stew in it. She lets her emotions flow until they are spent, and then slowly gets a hold of herself. The silence goes on and on, so she flicks on the radio to fill it. She lands on an 60's/70's station, and settles in to the bittersweet melody of Diary by Bread, nursing some measure of comfort out of the wrenching lyrics.

Han snorts softly. "Your taste in music is kind of dated, pup."

She shoots him a look and turns the volume up.

He chuckles and falls silent again.

After they stop for lunch and get back on the road, he finally addresses her rant. He clears his throat and says, "Turns out you're right."

It's been so long, Rey isn't even sure what they're talking about anymore. She licks the salt from the fries off her fingertips. "About what?"

"My family. Ben. He's a good kid. We all failed him. We're all complicit."

She nods. Then concedes reluctantly, "What you're doing here is a good first step to healing."

Han smirks. "You couldn't have caught me if I hadn't let you, you know."

She wants to argue that point, but she's pretty sure he's right. If he's had her pinned from the very beginning, she probably isn't much of a skiptracer.

"How long do you think they'll lock you up for?" she asks instead.

"Hard to say," he says with a nonchalant shrug.

"I mean, it'll look good to the judge that I'll be able to say you surrendered yourself willingly." She's not sure if she's trying to make him feel better, or herself.

He laughs gruffly. "A small reward for doing the right thing, I suppose."

It is difficult to maintain raw emotion for long, and once it begins to wear off, the trip becomes almost pleasant. Eventually Han takes a turn for the social, becoming downright chatty. Without pretenses between them, he opens up about several previously untouched topics. He talks about the other aspects of his business that he wouldn't share with her before, for one. Turns out that along with smuggling electronics, he sometimes smuggles humans out of indentured servitude in massive Empire factories overseas and brings them to family members in the US. He buys girls and children from traffickers and sets them free into support systems when they arrive. He _does_ do other things too, like exotic animals, which are far less noble causes, but Rey realizes that most of Han's illicit activities are a benefit to his fellow humans. It makes her feel worse about taking him to jail over it.

She remembers the boxes of smuggled goods in the tunnel, though, and remembers that Empire was not the only company being robbed from. "But why SI electronics too? That's your own wife's company."

Han picks his teeth from the beef jerky he'd been snacking on. "Leia does what she can to minimize the corruption of a massive corporation, but once you reach a certain size, corruption sneaks in anyway. Letting me skim a little product here and there helps ease her conscience, I think. SI products are priced out of reach for a lot of people. So I siphon off a little bit and make them accessible to a strata of consumers that she and all her bigwigs can't accommodate."

"So she knows?" Rey's eyes widen.

"Kinda. It's sort of a don't-ask, don't-tell scenario. She knows that she doesn't want to know."

Rey thinks about Ben and his willful ignorance to Han's smuggling of Empire products too. He doesn't look the other way to mitigate some sense of corporate guilt, she knows, but rather a more personal motivation.

"Leia must care about you," she says softly.

"We drive each other crazy," Han chuckles. "For better or for worse."

Rey smiles fleetingly at this. "You know, I've met your whole family now except for her. I'm incredibly curious about her."

"She'd like you," he says confidently. "And if you can get along with Ben, you can handle her. The two of them are a lot alike. They're crazy motivated, with a drive and intensity I don't understand, made even spicier by a hot temper. They're both scary smart, too. And they both have an undeniable soft spot for gutter rats like us."

Some of the residual ache in Rey's chest diminishes a bit at this assessment, the way Han claims her as being like him, invoking their shared orphaned pasts. And it comforts her a little, how he thinks they can still deserve the love of these two creatures of royalty.

Love. Why did she think that word? That isn't right for what strange forces are at work between herself and Ben...is it? Surely not.

"She resisted it at first," Han is busy saying, caught up now in the throes of memory. "That soft spot. She hated me at first, pretty sure. Luke and I met, and he hired me to come work at SI on some automotive projects. That's when I met Leia. She was gorgeous, but oh boy, she was a prickly one."

Rey doesn't dare interrupt him as he lapses into comfortable storytelling mode, painting for her the illustration of a man struggling and failing to fit in with a corporate world, earning the distaste of the heiress of the Skywalker fortune. He told her about the truly spectacular arguments they would get into, the names Leia would call him, the sparks that always flew. Until one day he kissed her, and then all the defenses crumbled and they fell heedlessly into a probably ill-advised love affair. A wild love, not tame enough to keep them together, but strong enough to linger even into today.

"Yeah. We still feel it," he says ruefully. "Even though I left SI, and things with Ben got tough, and I checked out. We grew apart, but it's still there. Maybe if we both committed, we could make it work again. The fire hasn't gone out. That's why we don't get a divorce."

Rey doesn't want that kind of love. She rejects it. It's sweet, she supposes, in its way. But it isn't enough to fill the void in her heart. It isn't strong enough to keep a family glued together. So she wants none of it. Almost unwillingly, her thoughts are pulled back to Ben. Did he too want better than what his parents had?

They don't stop for the night. Rey drives as long as she can, but when her mind begins to slip into dream states while she's still awake, she announces her intention to find a motel. That's when Han takes over, insisting she sleep while he drives. She tries to argue. He says he slept the last couple hours before, so he's pretty well rested.

Rey looks at him like he's crazy, volunteering to drive himself to jail. But she's too tired to figure out if this is the dumbest idea ever, so she gives in and lets him drive until morning.

It's extremely comforting. She feels safe, and childlike. It reminds her of being on the road with Mando, listening to him crunch ice and tune in to late night AM radio programs about the paranormal and metaphysical, chuckling softly to himself about people who think they've been abducted by aliens. Han finds the same program and keeps the volume on low so as not to disturb her. He snickers a quiet cadence of laughter at one caller who claims he's married to a 500 year old ghost. Rey smiles lazily in her sleep and drifts off again.

In the morning, she takes over after they stop for breakfast at a diner. Han is chatty again. Apparently he thought of a lot more things he wanted to say during the night. He tells her about what Ben was like as a child, and about Chuy's family, and about Luke as a young man. When he's exhausted that topic, he starts to tell her about some of his strange adventures when he's gone traveling abroad — anything he can think of, really. Rey sends a quick text to Mando to let him know she'd be home in a few hours, and then they get back on the road.

The minute the car starts humming over the highway though, Han zonks out and snores for the rest of the trip.

When they finally drop out of Wyoming and into Colorado, familiar cities and open farmlands leading them steadily on to Denver, Rey can't help an overwhelming surge of relief. Almost there, she tells herself. Almost.

Han wakes up when the traffic gets gnarled and congested right before the city. He stretches and looks around.

"Well, looks like the end of the line is near."

As much as Rey wants badly to be home, she still experiences that lurch of unpleasant realization. The moment is nearly upon them, the one where she'll take Han into the police station and leave him there. Dread coils in her stomach.

"Han..." she starts, but she doesn't know what she wants to say. She grasps for anything to make this feel better.

Han points at her. "Hey, none of that. We're not gonna spend my last few minutes of freedom moping about my fate."

Rey nods, sucking in a deep breath. "What do you want to talk about, then?"

"How about what you're doing with my kid," he says, grinning. "You told me the academic stuff about how you know each other, but I'm no dummy, Rey. I notice how carefully you talk about him. So, tell me the other stuff."

Her face warms and she throws him an incredulous look. "We've managed to drive for twenty hours without talking about that, and now, in the last twenty _minutes_, you want to bring this up?"

"You thought you got away with it, I know. But don't worry, twenty minutes it plenty of time."

Rey has to break to allow a merging car to sneak in ahead of her in the traffic snarl. Han has picked his moment well. She can't easily escape this. Still, she dodges. "Well, you're wrong. There isn't other stuff to tell."

"Yeah, I don't believe you. You're not a great liar, Rey."

Her eyes widen at the road. "It's not a lie! Nothing happened between us!"

"Now see, that's a little different. And I can believe that, no problem," Han says, chuckling. "I know my son. He has zero experience with girls. I'm not surprised he was too shy to ever make a move."

Rey's mouth slants in thought, her nose wrinkling. Ben's smile was shy, definitely, but he didn't give off any insecure, afraid-of-girl vibes at all. She wouldn't call _him_ shy. Just comfortably introverted.

"He made some moves," she says, thinking about how deftly he undid her jacket in that first meeting. Her cheeks heat again. With hindsight, she could admit it was kind of sexy, even if it did freak her out at the time. But then again, on the island he was different. He acted like he was nervous to touch her. She adds after some thought, "He could have been really obvious about it and I could have missed it. I'm not great at picking up signals."

He'd told her he liked her, and that it scared him. She doesn't know how far that feeling goes, because they hadn't dared explore it.

"Nah, I doubt he made it obvious. Trust me, that kid is terrible with women. You should have seen him in school. If he had a crush on a girl, he'd sit in his room and write love poems about her. But try to get him to talk to her? It was like he swallowed his own tongue. Drove me crazy."

Rey can't help it. She laughs a little, thinking about charming, charismatic Han trying to give quiet, introverted Ben advice on his fits of puppy love. And there's something irresistibly sweet about the boy he presents, secretly pining and hiding behind his pretty words.

"I never had a crush on anyone," Rey reflects aloud. "I went to a school with a bunch of rich kids. I have no idea what my type is, but it isn't that."

"Y'know, Ben is a rich kid," Han observes.

"Yeah...he is..." she considers this. The Skywalkers have more wealth than all those snobs at her school combined, but if Han is right, then Ben was really different from the stereotypical spoiled asshole white guy she had been surrounded by every day. And she already knows that he'd been quietly suffering his entire adolescence, as she did. Maybe they would have been friends. Maybe they would have been more than friends.

The traffic inches along, a motorcycle weaving deftly through the clogged lanes, and Rey remembers riding with Ben. She glances at Han. "Okay, well here's some evidence that he might not be as inept as you remember. He has a second helmet for his motorcycle. It's smaller, like for women. And his riding jacket has handholds for a passenger."

Han snorts. "Look, I'm not saying its _impossible_ that he's had a girlfriend between the last time I saw him and now, but I'm really not buying it either. I know my son, even if he thinks I don't. I'd be willing to wager my van that the kid is still a virgin. I bet he's never even had a girl on the back of that bike before."

Rey blinks, startled by the forceful assessment. "But then why does he have those things?"

"You rode with him?"

"Yeah."

"Was it a planned event, or impulse?"

"I didn't know we'd be on the bike, but yeah, it was a planned meetup."

"Okay, well that's the answer. I bet he got those things just for you."

Rey wants to stop the car. She wants to stare at Han and demand that he admit he's kidding. But she can't get off the road, so she barely flashes him an outraged look. He has to be messing with her, because if he's not, and if Ben really did do that...

She remembers the tag still hanging in his jacket. A funny feeling squeezes low in her stomach.

"But," she says helplessly, "he said — he said he's been riding since he was —"

"A teenager? Yeah, that's true enough." Han drums his fingers on the arm rest, huffing a soft, gruff laugh in memory. "One of our few good times after he got to be a hormonal mess was when the two of us fixed up his first bike together. Took us a few weeks, but they were good days. He even got his mom to ride with him several times, and trust me that was a _huge_ deal because Leia hates motorcycles. You know, that might've been our last actually happy time as a family."

The last person Ben had on the pillion might have been his mom? Rey can't process this information. She can't even feel a proper pang of wistfulness for the melancholy story he just told. All she can feel is a light-headed sort of desperation.

"So unless he's a completely different person from the kid I know, he doesn't go around with girls on the back of his bike. It wouldn't surprise me at all if you were the first." Han holds up his hands innocently. "Again, I could be wrong. But I doubt it."

He's so cocky in his certainty. But he can't be right — can he? Oh god. And what if he is? What does that mean for her? Some painful, horrified emotion shudders through her that she left Ben standing there, quaking in grief for his father and hurt at her betrayal. She has the terrible, sinking sensation that she has broken something that can't be fixed again.

Something priceless she didn't even know she had.

Han watches her, a brow lifting. "I'm guessing by your silence that you don't have much experience in this arena either."

Rey shakes her head, expelling a breathy, faltering reply."I don't have any at all."

He grins. "Two peas in a pod."

Rey changes lanes and tries to push away the surge of regret and longing. She resents Han for turning the conversation to this, for the strange emotions he has stirred up in talking about his son like this. She grips her steering wheel tighter. "It doesn't matter. None of it. Whatever we were circling, it's over. I'm pretty sure he's never going to forgive me for being the one to take you away."

He shrugs. "We'll see. A lot more experienced men have forgiven a lot less for a pretty face."

They're approaching the exit now. She feels like there are miles yet to go, inching towards it as slowly as they are. "I don't think so. This is a pretty big slap in the face."

"Did you ever lie to him about your purpose in Seattle?"

"No. He figured it out immediately."

"And did you ever tell him that you'd changed your mind?"

"No..."

"Then he's the fool, not you, for assuming a couple nice dates would make you change your whole life. It does sound like Skywalker ego though. And Solo, for that matter," he laughs. "But he's a smart kid in the end. He'll figure it out. I'm sure it'll be fine. If you're the first girl he's ever felt brave enough to put the moves on, you won't be easy to forget."

"Look," Rey says, trying to drag the conversation back in to a place that makes sense. "There's nothing between us, okay? I don't even know if what we did could count as a date. Maybe one time. Possibly two. But still, it's crazy to catch feelings for someone that quickly — isn't it?"

"No. It's not. And you don't have to actually date someone to fall in love with them," Han observes with amusement. "Trust me, I _do_ have experience in this area."

An impatient sound escapes her. If his goal in this conversation was to ease the difficulty of dropping him off at the station, he has succeeded because now she just wants him gone already.

"Since when did you become a romantic anyway?" she mutters.

He laughs. "Hey, forgive me if I have a vested interest in who my kid dances the tangled tango with, especially if he might decide to make her a permanent part of the family. You gotta vet the potential in-laws, Rey. You don't wanna get stuck with someone terrible."

Her face gets so hot that she feels like she's about to burst into flame. She rolls down the window for cool, fresh air as they finally get off the freeway and start winding through the city streets towards the police station, knuckles white on her steering wheel, staring ahead in blank silence.

Han snickers softly.

And then they pull up, the conclusion of their journey arriving abruptly. She leads him inside, still unable to think of anything to say. Han has no trouble, talking genially about how this experience compares to another time when he got arrested in Nevada for stealing from some small, backwater casino. He's an old pro at this, and is nothing but charming to the officers who come to escort him away while Rey fills out the paperwork.

Despite her mortification, it is really difficult to say goodbye. She worries for him, stuck in a cell he willingly walked into.

"Thanks for the ride, kiddo," he says warmly. "It's been fun. I'll see you around."

She almost gives him a hug, but hangs back, uncertain and unhappy. "I really hope we do. I mean that."

"I know you do. And we will." He flashes her his crooked, cocky grin. "Sooner than you think, I bet."

Rey nods, her gaze falling away as the officers lead him out.

Just like that, he's gone. Rey squeezes her fists tight and finishes the paperwork, not allowing herself to think or feel anything about that. It's done. It's over.

And now, she remembers with relief, it's time to go home.

* * *

**A/N: **Things will turn from here on out, climbing back up to our happy place. Hang in there!

Also, I'm sorry I didn't have this up on Wednesday. I got busy writing a couple Valentines-y things that I'll be posting in an hour or two. Just two little one-shots, one as a standalone kind of thing and one as a follow up to my Shadow and Shine story. One is suuuper steamy, borderline smutty (sorry, I generally try to steer clear of that but this particular one-shot begged to be lemony) and the other is tame and sweet.


	16. Chapter 16

chapter sixteen: vetting

* * *

Holy smokes, Rey is _tired_.

She feels it in every cell of her body as she drives the familiar streets out towards the highway, postponing her requisite visit to Navarro Bail Bonds until tomorrow when she has the mental and emotional capacity to deal with Griff. Griff, and the rewards, or punishments, for succeeding in her task. All she wants to do after dropping Han off is go home.

So that's what she does.

The weariness seeps into her very bones, and honestly her heart feels like it's been put through a meat grinder. She doesn't want to think about any of it anymore.

So she banishes from her mind any thoughts about Ben, or her friends. She only has trouble with Han, because regret sits hot and sickly in her gut, making her wish that she had hugged him before they took him away. She'll probably regret that forever. It doesn't matter how much he annoyed her there at the end, there are still all the other days, those good days hanging out with him while she worked on his van. There are the times when he talked to her and she got the peaceful, calm feeling there _here_ is someone who could be the father she's been seeking.

What kind of person is she, to let that go without even a hug?

None of it matters, she tells herself. Seattle was merely a fever dream, and now she is home, waking up into comfortably familiar reality. Back to the only two men whose love she needs.

Finally, after what feels like hours, the little RV park comes into view. There are no travelers staying there, only the three permanent residents. The only change from when she left is that the wide open fields around around it have become crowded with congregations of geese, vast flocks that come every year this time to ride out the winter. Rey can hear them gossiping to one another before she even gets out of the car, and smiles with the fond nostalgia of someone who has been away much longer than a couple weeks. She feels as if she's lived a lifetime away.

As soon as she turns the car off near the old familiar camper, her heart squeezing in her chest at the sight of home, the door bursts open. It flings out so hard it smacks against the side of the camper and immediately swings right back, closing abruptly on the grinning face of Dyn.

It rattles open again and he comes barreling down the steps. Rey barely has time to scramble out of the car before he's hurling himself into her arms.

"Rey!" he squeals. "Rey! Rey! Rey!"

She wraps him into her embrace tightly, so tightly, fitting his little body into her and burying her face into his curls. She laughs effervescently, overflowing with relief and so much love.

"You came back!" Dyn exults. "Rey, you were gone for _so long_."

"I know," she says, setting him back down again. "I'm sorry, buddy. I didn't mean to take that long."

"Yeah, because I missed you for too many days," he says mournfully. "So that's why you had to hurry."

She grins and gently ruffles his hair. "I missed you too. So much."

A creak on the camper steps draws her attention up and onto the worn but warm face of Mando descending from the trailer and coming towards her.

She straightens, holding herself back from the sudden mad impulse that rises up in her to run hug him. It's not hard. She's well practiced at stifling that particular urge after all these years. Still, she _is_ glad to see him.

He folds his arms over his chest and gives her an appraising once-over. "Well, you seem to be in one piece."

She nods, a half-smile daring to form. "I am."

He mirrors it with one of his own, and her heart thuds with relief. "Welcome home, kid."

Dyn wraps his little arms around her and pushes his face into her stomach. "Don't leave again, Rey. Never ever go away again."

Her arms enfold him again, so natural. When she left, it was with the quest of finding a way to make herself indispensable to this trio. Her absence alone convinced Dyn, but then she's always known she could count on his hopelessly pure love.

"I won't," she promises him softly. And she means it.

"So," says Mando. "Did you come back alone?"

Rey shakes her head. "No. I did it. I dropped him off. It's done."

Mando's expression is impossible to read, as usual. His face is implacable, lined and worn, his jaw working over some opinion or another which she knows he will not voice. She wants to ask if he's pleased or disappointed that she succeeded. Has she passed his test of adulthood? Surely she has. This was a truly gut-wrenching choice to make, between duty and her heart. Mando's people value duty above all else — the whole reason he agreed to take Rey and Dyn was out of a sense of duty — so surely, surely she must have earned his respect in this.

But instead of giving her any insight into what he's thinking, he just nods and says coolly, "Well done."

Rey draws in a deep breath, trying not to be disappointed or frustrated. Not right now, when she's just glad to be back. She doesn't have the emotionally energy to be annoyed by Mando's predictable nature right now.

Dyn tugs on her hand. "Come on! Come inside! Papa made s'ketti! We were waiting for you, and I am _so hungry_, and we made it just for you, and now you're here, and so come onnnnn. Let's go!"

Rey laughs and winces. "Uh-oh. Mando cooked? Are you sure it's gonna be any good?"

Mando makes a good-natured grumble of protest as they head inside the camper. Spaghetti is one of the few things he does make fairly well, though it is a rare occasion that can persuade him to do it. Rey tries not to be too touched that he did this in celebration of her return, if Dyn has understood the situation correctly. But she can't help it. She _is_ touched. And her emotions are raw and close to the surface, so her eyes blur with tears when Mando puts a plate down in front of her and Dyn snuggles into her side on the bench.

"We're both glad you're back," Mando explains a little awkwardly as he sits at his own side of the table.

Rey nods, swiftly wiping her eyes.

"Are you okay?" Dyn asks her. "Are you crying?"

"I'm fine," she gives him a reassuring smile. "Sometimes people cry when they're happy. And I'm happy, because I'm home. I missed you guys. That's all."

"My tears only come out when I'm sad," Dyn reflects. "Are you sad, too?"

"I feel a lot of different things, buddy."

He thinks about this, puzzled, then shrugs it off and attacks his plate of food.

Mando clears his throat. "Did you go by Griff's yet? He's going to be incredibly surprised to see you."

"Why incredibly? I was obviously going to come back at some point."

Mando grunts in acknowledgement. "Sure. But this was a big job. Your success will please him."

"I didn't feel like going by tonight. I'll do it tomorrow."

"Mind if we tag along? I need to see the look on his face."

"I don't mind."

The silence that settles over them after that is like an old familiar blanket, a little threadbare and moth-eaten, but warm nonetheless. She feels mostly comforted by it, back in the environment she knows, cocooned in this strange little assembly of people. The silence is full of things that ought to be said, but aren't.

Vaguely Rey wonders if Mando is glad she's back merely for the convenience she brings to his life. She can cook better than he can, she can fix his car or camper when things go wrong, and she takes care of Dyn before and after kindergarten, and any time Mando wants to be away. He probably had to figure out childcare arrangements for him while she was gone, like they used to do when she was in school.

Or did he actually miss her because secretly he really does care?

She doesn't ask. That isn't their style.

Something inside her, almost drowned by her contentment at being home, whispers a dissatisfied note. The silence shouldn't chafe, it says. This disgruntled voice stays with her for the rest of the evening, scraping at some painful place inside her. They fall back into old routines and get ready for bed. Dyn chatters about school and about the afternoons he spent with Cara while Rey was gone. He's his normal self, of course, and so is Mando. Rey isn't, and the more the minutes tick by, the more she feels it.

Why is it so hard to talk to Mando when it was so desperately easy to talk to Ben about all these deep, vulnerable feelings? Mando is the one who needs to hear them, because he's the one who can actually solve the problem. But communication between them always skids to a standstill the moment it has barely begun, and that stings more than normal tonight.

Probably she's just tired and emotionally exhausted from everything that has happened.

Jannah texts Rey late in the night, asking if she got home alright, confessing that the room felt weird and empty without her. Rey replies to reassure her. She lays there in the gloom, listening to Mando read Dyn a book in the bunk beneath her. She usually did that, but apparently her absence has shifted the arrangement. Its weird and a little difficult to hear Mando being so downright fatherly. Her thoughts drift away from that, careful to avoid it, instead flickering images through her mind of the new faces she'd come to value. She tries to sort her feelings into tidy little boxes in her head so that she can put them away, but it's impossible. It's all strewn about in chaotic disarray on the floor of her heart.

* * *

xxx

* * *

Mando was right. Griff is absolutely astonished the next day when Rey turns up in his office, Mando and Dyn trailing behind. He stares at her like she's a ghost. She doesn't really know what to make of it.

"I thought it was some kind of joke when I got word last night that Solo had been turned in," he confesses, wide-eyed and incredulous.

Like Han was some overdue library book. Rey rolls her eyes. "I'm starting to think I should be really offended that neither of you thought I could do this."

"No, no," Griff hurries to correct. "It isn't that — I'm just — I'm impressed." He pushes back his chair and stands, leaning over the desk to shake her hand. "Well done!"

She smiles now, and it's real, despite everything. "Thanks."

He motions her into a chair, and she sits. Mando drags another over and sits next to her. Dyn plops down on the floor with Mando's phone, just like the last time they were here. Griff resumes his seat too, and spreads his hands inquiringly.

"So, Rey, tell us the story! Did you have to use force to finally snatch this guy?"

"No," she says simply. "He surrendered."

"Voluntarily?" Griff's eyes widen all over again.

Rey laughs. "That is what surrender implies."

Mando makes a low sound beside her, and she glances at him. He's got that look on his face that he wears whenever she's done something to creep him out, like know things she shouldn't know. He hadn't asked about how she'd managed to bring Han in last night, so this revelation has caught him off guard. She smirks.

The piece of her that is still chasing her plan to become his partner in this work wants to point to this moment as evidence for why he should let her. But she doesn't. Because there are other things inside her now than that single-minded goal, and she isn't sure what to do with it.

"Mando said you got a knack for talking people down," Griff says, leaning forward, face alive with interest. "Guess it's a bit more than a knack, huh?"

"I mean, it was a little more complicated than just talking him into it," she hedges.

"Hey, I don't need to know the whole process to see that it works." He shakes his head and chuckles. "I'll have a lot fewer lawsuits on my hands with a silver-tongued sweetheart persuading fugitives to just turn themselves in peacefully."

Mando frowns. "Griff."

"Now, now, don't go getting jealous, Mando," Griff chides, cutting him off. "You still have a job, I'm not replacing you completely. But I am thinking the kid needs to be my new number-one, and you can be her partner to play backup in case things go sour."

Rey shifts in her seat, drawing a measured, careful breath. This is exactly what she wanted — not necessarily to be Griff's number one, but the part about working with Mando — it's all her hard work paying off. So why doesn't she feel the surge of victory she expected?

"So, brass tacks, I can offer you fifteen percent of every bond," Griff explains. "That's way more than my other agents get. But I'm willing, because I want only the best for my pied piper."

"The best? Mando gets twenty-five," Rey observes, lifting a brow.

Griff grumbles and shoots Mando a begrudging glance. "Fine, fine. You drive a hard bargain, but alright. I'm willing to go to eighteen, but that's it. Mando gets ten for anyone he helps you bring in."

He looks at her expectantly, awaiting either further bargaining or her acceptance, no doubt. But Rey doesn't answer. Her gaze drops to the desk, to the grain of the wood. She ought to jump at this opportunity. It would make everything she went through in Seattle worth it. All the heartache. This success was hard-won and exactly what she set out to accomplish. So why does it feel hollow now? Why does her prize seem small and cheap?

_It's the promotion you don't need. The biggest advancement in a career you don't want_.

Mando glances at her. Her mind his blank. She grabs for the edge of the decision, but she can't find it. She is drowned in the keen sensation that she'd standing in the deep woods on Bainbridge island, staring at a fork in the trail with no map or guide, no idea which way she's supposed to go. Like she can't remember.

"Thank you," she finally struggles to say after a moment. Her voice is soft but sincere. "Griff, thank you for the offer. Will you give me some time to think about it?"

She can't think straight right now. She needs a few more days to come to her senses, to recover from the strange fever dream that was her whole experience in Seattle.

Griff stares at her like she's just asked for a hippopotamus for Christmas. "To..._think_ about it?"

"Yes. Just a few days, that's all."

His eyes narrow and his mouth pulls into a firm frown. "Okay, okay, fine, you got me on the ropes here. Twenty percent. But you're killing me, kid."

"No, it's not—"

Mando interjects when she falters for what she wants to say. "Come on, Griff, a few days isn't a big deal. This is her career we're talking about. You can give her that."

Griff cuts him a sour look. "You have your own motives, Mando, don't pretend otherwise. But fine. A few days. That's it."

Rey nods, trying not to feel too relieved. "Thank you."

"In the meantime, I'll cut you a check for _fifteen_ percent of Solo's bond," he says, arching an eyebrow as if to dare her to argue.

She doesn't, just nods again.

He sighs heavily, muttering a few half-spoken curses under his breath, and cues up his computer. He quickly inputs the necessary information to process her payment. When it's done, he prints it and hands the check over to her.

"Don't take too long, eh, darlin'? I have a lot of people I need brought in, and I could use your special talent in doing it."

Special talent. She _does_ have a knack for talking people down, usually. But nothing that happened in Seattle has anything to do with that. Han's surrender was about his own relationship with his son, not Rey or her persuasiveness.

Still, she gives him a weary smile. "Got it. You'll hear from me soon."

And she means it. She's confident that as soon as life returns to normal, her old determination will flare back up and she'll be elated at this prospect. Soon.

* * *

xxx

* * *

Except _soon_ doesn't turn out to be all that soon.

The few days stretch into a full week, and then two weeks, and still nothing inside her resolves. In fact, it only seems to get worse.

Her friends text her daily, keeping in touch with tidbits about their lives, updates about what's going on. They reach out to her unprompted, and she wonders how they can still think of her as part of them when she was only there for such a short time. Their persistent friendship over this long distance burrows down deep into her heart, soothing something within her. Knowing she isn't easily forgotten heals the hurt and makes it worse at the same time. She feels so far away from them.

Finn is worried about finals coming up. Rose says Plutt is an even bigger asshole since she left. He didn't remember that he didn't hire her, and now he's just angry she left. Poe even texts her to tell that Zorri has been moody since Rey left and so will she please come back? Jannah loves her job more every day. She says she officially got a restraining order, that Zorri gave her a folder with all kinds of information, and would Rey please thank her friend for helping out with that?

That last revelation is a punch to the gut, and she leaves Jannah on _read_ for days after.

The person Rey most wants to hear from doesn't text her at all. She knows why, and she doesn't expect it. Still, every time her phone buzzes, she experiences a brief flash of hope. If he was willing to still give the folder to Jannah, maybe...

But she doesn't dare reach out to him. She doesn't have the courage.

Mando is back to his old self with her, a comfortable cohabitant, withholding in his judgements about her life and in his affections also. He doesn't pester her about her decision. She wouldn't expect him to, but what does surprise her is how he steps in to deflect Griff's growing impatience. He seems determined to give her as much time as she needs. Probably he's hoping she'll change her mind, and that alone should make her decision easier. She's always had a penchant for doing the opposite of what he wants her to do.

But it doesn't make her decision easier.

Mando goes to work while Rey shuttles Dyn to and from school. While he's gone and she's alone, she wanders alone through the fields or drives around the city delivering food for quick cash, trying to find whatever part of her is missing.

One day she's lying listlessly on the couch, Dyn quietly coloring at the table, her mind absently flickering over the image of Ben in the coffee shop, scratching that content little cat-loaf behind the ears, when she hears the telltale crunch of tires pulling up outside the trailer. She sits up quickly. Mando isn't supposed to be back until evening, and they never have visitors except for Cara sometimes.

"Who is coming?" Dyn asks, lifting his head from his paper.

"I don't know," Rey mumbles, swiftly moving to the window to peek out.

A Tesla Model X with a small, almost inconspicuous rental sticker on the passenger window sits beside Rey's grungy little car, contrasting so sharply with its surroundings that any onlooker could be forgiven for thinking an alien spaceship had just touched down. A woman is getting out of the front passenger seat.

Rey lunges for the door, quickly carding her fingers through her hair to tame any flyaways and tugging her t-shirt down in a vain attempt to make herself less frumpy. She has no idea who the woman is, but it doesn't take a genius to recognize her as someone _Very Important_.

"Who is it?" Dyn says, standing up on the bench, reacting to her sudden flurry of movement.

"I don't know!" she says again as she yanks the door open and steps down to outside.

The woman looks around the shabby little RV park with its three whole residents and the vast sea of geese marching around the open fields. She is older, maybe in her fifties or sixties, with well-groomed brown hair now streaked with gray, pulled back into a stylishly loose bun. Her clothes are really nice, though Rey is hopeless at recognizing brands, so she can't begin to guess how nice, exactly. She pulls off her sunglasses and tucks them into her purse, approaching as Rey steps down and out of the trailer.

Her eyes are dark as night, and Rey staggers at the way her heart pounds in recognition.

She already knows who this woman is.

"Are you Rey?" she asks, lifting a brow.

Rey nods.

The woman extends a hand.

"Hello, Rey. It's great to finally meet you. I'm Leia, Han's wife."

Han's wife. Ben's mother. Rey squeaks an incredulous breath as she takes the other woman's hand and tentatively shakes it. "H-hi."

Leia's smile is a cheeky thing, warm but full of some secret amusement, some private knowing. "I've heard a lot about you."

"From who?" Rey asks, bewildered.

"Everyone, it seems. My brother, my husband—" her eyes flash to Rey's, her mouth curling a little at the corner, "My son. You're a curiously invasive presence in my family, aren't you?"

She doesn't say it like an insult, so Rey doesn't take it that way. She swallows a little too audibly and rubs one of her arms, half in self-consciousness, half in chill. The autumn day is just a little too nippy for a mere t-shirt. "Oh," she says haltingly. "I've—heard about you too."

"Hm, I don't doubt it," Leia hums. She glances at the trailer behind Rey. "And who is this?"

Rey whirls. Dyn stands in the doorway, looking at Leia with wide, curious eyes.

"Oh, um..." Rey stammers.

Dyn is already bouncing down the steps, as if his acknowledgement is an invitation into the conversation. "I'm her brother!" he announces, grabbing Rey's arm and hugging it to him. "Who are you?"

Leia crouches down to his level. "My name is Leia. What's yours?"

"Dyn."

"Nice to meet you Dyn. Are you and your sister going to invite me in?"

He cocks his head to the side, studying her. "Well, we don't really know you. Are you friends with Papa?"

"No," she shakes her head. "I know some of your sisters' friends."

Rey shoves Dyn behind her and clears her throat. "Uh, sorry about him. Do you — will you come inside?"

Leia straightens again and smiles. "Yes, thank you."

Rey turns, cringing a little at the sight of their camper, an embarrassed blush rising in her cheeks. If there were anywhere nicer they could go, she'd take that option in a heartbeat. Inviting a woman as wealthy and famous as Leia into a small house with wheels on it seems like a ludicrous thing to do. But there is no other place. And she still has no idea why Leia is here. So she's helpless.

Dyn holds Rey's hand and swivels his head back to look at Leia. "Is she nice, Rey?" he whispers too loudly.

"Yes," Rey says, even though she doesn't actually know it for certain.

They lead Leia up the steps and into the camper. Her heart trips a nervous rhythm. Has she come here to confront Rey about what she did to her estranged husband? Has she come to serve her with litigation over the matter? If Ben had good lawyers, Leia probably has even better once. And if it's not that, what could she possibly want?

Leia looks around the camper appraisingly, but doesn't offer commentary. Dyn climbs on the couch until Rey shoos him back to the table and offers Leia the couch instead, desperately grateful that today isn't one of those days when Dyn has eaten something crumbly and messy on it.

Leia sits, and Rey hovers nervously until she eventually decides to sit too, perched precariously on the edge, like she's ready to run away if she needs to.

"Rey," Leia says, and her voice is rich and warm. "I wanted to come here because I had to meet you for myself."

There's a beat, and then Rey, incredulous, asked, "You flew in from Washington just to meet me?"

Leia laughs lightly. "No. I came here for Han. Seeing you became a secondary goal."

"Oh." Guilt twists in her belly. Here it comes. Leia's wrath. Her blame.

But the woman is watching her without any hint of anger. Only that same vague amusement sparkles in her achingly familiar eyes. "You're nervous," she assesses.

"No way," says Dyn from the table. "Rey is brave. She's not nervous."

"Hush," Rey hisses at him. To Leia, she says, "I've done a lot you could be really angry at."

Leia nods once, her sly smile returning. "True. But you don't need to be nervous. I'm not angry. Actually, I believe I have a lot to thank you for."

"Thank me?" Rey blurts, startled right out of her anxiety.

Leia nods. "I know that you know the troubles which have plagued my family for many years now. You've heard it from all three of my men, and seen three very different perspectives. I imagine you got some conflicting stories, but they all conclude the same way. We have been in a stalemate for a long time. But now, I believe because of you, the stalemate is broken. We are talking again."

"What did I have to do with that?" Rey ventures cautiously. Her thoughts fly to Ben. She wants to ask about him, but she doesn'. She wants to know if he is included in those that are talking again.

"More than you think," says Leia. "Luke came to me a few weeks ago, all flustered and frustrated that this young girl he'd met at a bar was hanging out with both Han _and_ Ben, and that you kept ignoring his advice to stay away. He said he thought you were maybe some kind of corporate spy. But that you were trying to get Ben to quit Empire, so maybe you weren't our enemy. And anyway what did we want to do about you? Because he had a feeling you weren't just some nobody who started hanging around. You certainly got him all worked up." She chuckles. "But I'm glad. It was the first time Luke and I talked about something other than business in years."

Rey shifts uncomfortably. "I'm sorry about Luke. He was right about me, though. I did have ulterior motives for hanging around."

"Rey, don't apologize," Leia says sternly. "You did what you had to do, and now I'm doing what I have to do. You need to know that Han is being released today."

"What?" Rey cries, her whole body stiffening.

Leia nods once. "Amilyn Holdo one of the best attorneys in the country, and I have her on retainer. She's settled everything. Han will be coming home with me, free of all charges."

Relief so enormous and so overwhelming it actually makes her choke washes over Rey, and she immediately buries her face in her hands so Leia won't see how quickly she wells up in tears.

"Don't be scandalized," Leia chuckles, misunderstanding. "Or, on second thought, be scandalized. That's your choice. It is actually pretty scandalous who completely corrupt the justice system is here. People with the resources I have can get away with just about anything. Isn't really fair, is it?"

But Rey doesn't care about the fairness of the system right now. She's just so desperately glad that Han won't be stuck in a cell anymore because of her. That he gets to go home to start healing his relationship with his son. That her choice did not wreck everyone's chance at happiness forever.

Dyn climbs down off the bench and comes over to her, touching her hand. "Are you okay? What's wrong."

Rey wipes her eyes hastily. "Nothing. I'm okay." She pulls him into her lap and looks at Leia. "Han said you two still loved each other. I can see that's true, if you're willing to get him out after what he's been smuggling."

Leia holds up her hands in an expression of innocence. "I have been very careful to avoid any knowledge of that information, and I would appreciate it if you didn't tell me. That is between Han and Holdo's team. As for me, I've always been ridiculously helpless where that man is concerned. What can I say? He brings out the worst in me."

She laughs. Rey gives the woman a tentative smile. After a moment, she says, "I am glad. That you got him out. I didn't want him in there."

Leia bobs her head once. She pulls her purse around to her lap and rifles through it, withdrawing a little roll of Smarties candy. She extends it to Dyn. "Are you allowed to have sugar?" she asks, and the cheekiness in her face says she knows perfectly well that the question comes too late.

His eyes light up and he snatches it from her hands immediately. "You have _candy_ in your bag?"

"Moms always have snacks in their bags," she says, giving him a wink.

He wriggles happily on Rey's lap and carefully opens the package.

Leia draws a deep breath and levels Rey with another look. "So Han is coming home again and we're all recommitted to mend what is broken. To turn over a new leaf. There's something else I wanted you to know, primarily because I believe you are the one responsible. And that is that Ben has quit his job."

It's like being shocked by a live wire. Her body jolts, sending Dyn's candies flying. He hollars in protest and immediately gets off her lap to gather them up. Rey sinks down onto the floor to help him, her heart gone absolutely still in her chest — or maybe it's flying at an impossible pace. She can't really tell because the words Leia has said are failing to compute.

"What?" she asks breathlessly.

Leia observes the clamor with a private little smile. "He quit the morning after you and Han left town, and came to me immediately afterward."

Rey can't see the smarties anymore. Her eyes have welled with tears again and she feels like such a crybaby. She can't help it though. She puts her head down so Leia won't see.

"We all have a lot of healing to do," Leia explains heavily. "We've all been foolish and selfish. Me most of all. But I think we're ready to start the process."

Dyn shoots Rey an irritated look and skulks off to the table with his handful of recovered candies, leaving her alone in a puddle on the floor.

Ben did it.

"I'm..." she flounders for words, her voice much shakier than she wants it to be. "I'm so..."

Happy. Jealous. Wistful. Longing. Sad.

"I'm glad too," Leia says, supplying her a woefully inadequate word. "I love my son more than he can possibly know, until he has a child of his own one day and can feel that fierce, powerful need to provide and protect. I have always loved him. But I fell into the trap of thinking I could steer him into the best life _I_ could imagine for him. I thought I knew where he would thrive. And when he got angry with me, I thought he needed more space, so I gave it to him. But that was the wrong decision, I think."

Rey finds her way back onto the couch, nodding a little in acknowledgement. It was wrong.

Leia chuckles a little. "We're definitely going to need some type of family therapy."

"I want the best for all of you," Rey says softly. "I know you can heal."

"Ben told me about Han turning himself in, and why he did it. That's when I knew it was time."

The need to see him again swells within her so fiercely and unexpectedly that Rey struggles to contain it. She needs to talk to him. She wants to know what's in his heart, and in his head now.

"So thank you for being the catalyst that forced this change, Rey," Leia says with a sudden effusion of warmth. She takes one of Rey's hands. "None of us knew how to climb over our own obstacles until you gave us a push."

Rey's gaze fall to their hands. "I was just trying to do my job. I don't know how it got all so mixed up along the way. But I am relieved some good came out of it, after all."

"What about you?" Leia asks. "Did any good come of it for you? Are you happy?"

Rey produces a strangled, breathless laugh. "I've been asking myself that question for two weeks. And I don't know the answer."

Leia bobs her head in understanding. She pulls a small business card out of her purse and hands it to Rey. "This has my personal cell on it. If you ever need anything — a job, a letter of recommendation, just advice, anything. However I can help you out, I will."

"Thank you," Rey whispers, touched beyond any other words.

Leia gives her arm a little pat and stands up to make ready to leave. "Ben told me you were the first person to really listen to him. Thank you for being there. For listening."

There's so much more Rey wants to ask, but it all sticks in her throat and she can't speak at all. The cold, aloof, exacting mother Ben painted in his story doesn't jive with the lively, mischievous, warm woman before her. Looking at her, she can see Ben. He is there, in her eyes, in the amused twitch of her lips.

In the end, Rey can only nod helplessly.

Leia moves towards the door. "Goodbye, Dyn!"

Dyn waves at her from where he's sorting his candies. His grin is wide and genuine. "Goodbye — what was your name again?"

"Leia."

"Goodbye, Leia!"

The older woman smiles and turns back to Rey. "I hope we get the opportunity to see you again. Preferably under better circumstances this time."

Rey follows her to the door and opens it for her guest. She steps outside after Leia descends.

A man gets out of the driver's seat, thin and reedy with a sparse scattering of gray hair cut short around his oval head. He says in a nervous English tremolo, "Ms. Holdo just called, Ma'am. She says we may pick up Mister Solo at your earliest convenience."

"Wonderful," says Leia. "Let's go there now."

The man nods and gets back in the car.

Rey experiences a brief moment of panic. She needs to know at least one thing. "Um," she ventures hesitantly. "Ben. Is he...?"

Leia's smile is reserved and again full of knowing. She speaks gently. "Yes, he's good. A little shaken up, I think. But he's finding his footing."

"Is he back at Skywalker with you and Luke?"

"No. I think he'll be forging his own way from now on. As I should have allowed him to do from the beginning." She extends her hand. "Goodbye, Rey. Again, thank you for everything."

Rey looks at the hand, a bold impulse rushing through her. "Actually, I'm more of a hugger. Do you mind?"

Leia laughs lightly and opens her arms instead. Rey dives into them, embracing her tightly, awash in her comforting presence.

When she's gone again, Rey drifts back inside and stares at Dyn for a while, not really seeing him. He demands to know what's wrong. She can't really answer, instead going to climb into her bed, bury her face into her pillow, and burst into overwhelmed tears. Her heart aches, and the decision of what to do about Griff's job offer feels further away than ever. All the pieces of this dispirit family she found in Seattle are coming back together now. Their story is drawing to a close. And she is happy for them. But her story is still a big gaping wound, no closer to resolution than it was before she began. In fact, it is further from it, because at least when she started, she knew what she wanted. It was a clear goal. Now she doesn't even know that much.

No, she know one thing that she wants at least.

She wants to talk to Ben.

But's pretty sure he doesn't want to talk to her.

Still, in a flash of courage, or perhaps foolishness, she pulls out her phone and fires off a quick text.

—_I know we can't be friends after what happened, so I understand if you don't want to answer. But if you're willing to talk, I could use some advice._

* * *

xx

* * *

**A/N:** Sorry for the minor cliffhanger. Teehee. I'm going out of town today so my next update might be slightly delayed. It'll be Sunday at the latest, but if I can get some downtime hopefully I can have it up on Friday or Saturday.

((Also I haven't proof read this chapter, yet. I just want to throw it up while I get the chance, I'll scour for typos tonight. Sorry if it's messy!))


	17. Chapter 17

chapter seventeen: the whole is more than the sum of its parts

* * *

Something is wrong with Rey.

Mando knows her too well to pretend he doesn't see it. He has witnessed all of her many moods over these last nine years, becoming particularly well acquainted with them during her tumultuous adolescence.

She didn't become one of those wildly effusive teenagers who wore their hearts on their sleeves, but when her moods were tossed around by those hormonal teen squalls, she stewed in stormy silence and grit her teeth and curled in on herself — and she argued a lot more. It was as if resentment for him had suddenly built up out of the blue. Those had been rough days. Mando knew it could have been worse if she'd been the loudly emotional type, but even still he felt as if he'd been saddled with some unknowable creature. Fortunately those moments dwindled as she grew, and then she mellowed out again, her simmering anger seemed to fade. She didn't become cheerful after that, exactly, but she was quiet and steady and self-sufficient.

It's not like she's reverted to her adolescent self now. He can't really compare that to her current state. This is different. He's learned to recognize the signals of her changing emotional tides, but he doesn't recognize anything about this at all.

It's so subtle, for starters. She easily slips back into the natural rhythm of things, acting her part largely the way she did before she left. Anyone who didn't know her extremely well might miss it. But she smiles a little less. Her laughter is brief. She loses focus on any given task after a few minutes. She goes on jogs more often and spends even more time by herself than she did before. And she doesn't argue with Mando — about anything. No quips, no snark, no passing passively aggressive comments. And that is one of the biggest tells of all.

Dyn senses it too. One morning while Mando gathers his things in preparation to head to work, Dyn leans against the window the camper and watches the distant figure of Rey running along one of the hiking trails.

"What's the matter with her?" he asks.

"Not sure," Mando says, glancing out at her too.

"Is she sad?"

"Maybe."

Dyn considers this for a while. Then he nods and says softly, "Yeah. I think she's sad."

It's not really any of his business, so Mando doesn't let himself give it too much thought. But Dyn's assessment does puzzle him. What would she have to be sad about? She's been fighting for this idea of her future for so long, going to battle against Mando about it over and over in the same rehearsed argument for years. Now she has it in the palm of her hand, and this is her reaction?

Mando is perplexed.

Griff is annoyed.

"When is your daughter gonna let me know about the job, Mando?" he grouses later that same day.

Mando doesn't look up from the folder he's rifling through. "You'll hear when you hear. And she isn't mine."

"Bullshit. I'm so sick of your bullshit with these kids," Griff snaps, shaking his head. "What's taking her so long anyway? I thought she wanted this."

"I'm not gonna rush her through the decision. You already know my thoughts on it."

Griff gives him a scowl. "You're right. It's your fault. This whole thing was your idea."

"But somehow, we all got what we wanted, didn't we? You got your highly valued, highly difficult skip, Rey got to prove herself as a capable and competent adult, and I got her reconsider her plans for the future."

"Oh really? If that's what we all wanted then why aren't any of us happy about it?" Griff arches a brow.

"I don't know."

Because none of this feels good. But Mando isn't one to examine situations of emotional complication too closely. He likes to keep moving forward and see how things shake out.

Griff grunts. "Well I do. If she just took the job, it would solve everything. I'd be happy, she'd be happy, and your guilty conscience for trying to hold her back would be happy too."

"Leave her alone and tell me what I need to know about this guy," Mando sighs, motioning at the folder.

Griff isn't ready to let the matter drop though. He points a damning finger and growls, "Get your house in order, Mando."

The words hang over him for the rest of the day, circling like a vulture.

He resists them. Honestly, whatever's up with Rey might not even be a problem. She's working through something, that's obvious, and he trusts her to come to her own conclusion. She's a good kid. Level-headed. Smart. Adaptable. The only dumb thing he's ever seen her do is want to be a bail bond agent like him. And if this is her process for second-guessing that decision? Good. He'll leave her to it.

So there's nothing to get in order. Everything is fine. It's different from before, but it's not like strained, complicated silence is anything new for them. It's the same old song, just a slightly different tune.

But it keeps niggling at his mind, scratching at his conscience. Whatever happened up there, Rey has not come back from Seattle the same person. And it might be his own fault, for refusing to help her or give her much advice. She did what he'd hoped, though — she'd figured it out herself, relied only on her own skill and ability. That was the whole point. But she's home now, victorious. There's no reason for him to make her go through the rest of it without help.

It's just that he doesn't know where or how to help her.

When he gets home he finds her sitting astride the old motorcycle she'd been fixing up before she left. Her tools are in hand, but she's just sitting there, frowning at them like they've offended her. Her hands aren't greasy. There's no evidence she's worked on it at all.

Dyn is near her, playing with his toy dinosaurs in the grass. He is quiet, and every once in a while glances towards her like he's waiting for her to do something.

Rey hasn't worked on much of anything since she got back. Her previous projects are all abandoned.

Mando doesn't like it.

He won't tell anyone, but he secretly worried himself into frustration every day that she was gone. It was a strange and admittedly terrible time. He'd not anticipated how much he would miss her. How it would feel like part of his chest had gone wandering off without him, leaving the rest of him anxious and unsettled. He hadn't gone a single day without seeing her since she was ten years old.

He'd regretted making Griff find her a hard target. He wondered all the time if it would prove too much for her. If it would, in fact, be more dangerous than she was prepared to face. After she'd called, he stayed awake hating himself for leaving her with nothing to work with, no advice to make it easier. But he didn't try to fix it by reaching out either. It did surprise him how deep his attachment to her ran, but he'd known for a long time now that her transition into adulthood would be complicated and difficult. So of course he felt bad pushing her to be better. It was pushing her right out of the only home she'd known for the last nine years.

But he's been preparing her and him for this all along. Autonomy and independence. He hasn't let her make a father out of him, because he wanted her to always be able to stand on her own two feet. To maintain that fiercely independent spirit that had kept her alive on her own for two years. And all that had paid off. Rey returned from Seattle in arguable triumph, swathed in grit and strength and a whole lotta luck, and Mando is ridiculously proud of her, even if he fears that her success means she will sell herself into this soulless career for his sake.

But so far, she has surprised him.

Looking at her now, though, he thinks that she looks just as lost now as he felt while she was gone. Like part of her has gone missing.

"Hey, kid. What are you up to?" he asks her.

Rey looks up from the tools and levels him with a wary eye. As if the question alone has made her suspicious. Finally, though, her shoulders lift. "Not sure. I was going to work on the bike, but..."

She trails off, and her shoulders fall again, punctuating the end of a helpless shrug.

Dyn glares at his dinosaurs and stabs at the grass with one of the tails. "Papa, fix Rey. Make her better."

The girl scrambles off the bike in a flash, crouching down next to him, giving him a wide smile and a reassuring tousle of his hair. "What are you talking about, buddy? I don't need to be fixed. I'm fine."

"Nuh-uh. You stare a lot now," Dyn says, his expression sullen. "That lady came to visit and it made you sad."

"What lady?" Mando asks.

Rey's body tenses, but she ignores him and addresses Dyn again. "I'm not sad. I'm happy to be back with you."

Dyn gives her a dubious look.

_Get your house in order._

He sighs. Time to bite the bullet.

"Come on," he says abruptly. "Both of you, in the car. Let's go for a drive."

"A drive!" Dyn jumps to his feet. "Where are we going?"

"Don't know yet. Let's just drive."

Rey stands too, frowning a little. Still, she doesn't make any sounds of protest, just drops her things back into her tool box and then silently goes to her car to transfer Dyn's booster to Mando's back seat. Mando unscrews the containment cage partitioning off the front from the back while Rey helps Dyn get buckled. Finally she slides into the front passenger seat.

Mando takes a deep breath before getting in too. He knows what must be done — is long overdue, actually — but he has no delusions about the necessity making it any easier.

He stops at a fast food drive-thru and they all get burgers and milkshakes. Dyn softly proclaims it is the best day ever, which draws a little smile from Rey. Mando takes a route that leads them into the mountains. He still doesn't have a specific destination in mind, so they travel the winding roads and sit in ruminating silence. Dyn is familiar with the group dynamic, and even he doesn't disturb the stillness. He knows that quiet, private thought is the norm here, so he just stares out his window and munches on fries.

Unlike Dyn, Rey never had to learn introspective behavior. Mando found her that way.

Even in the earliest days, when he was still awash with hidden panic about what to do with this wild child stowaway, she was extremely quiet. She sat in the passenger seat, as she does now, looking out at the road before them, very much withdrawn into her own secret thoughts. In town, she'd been this tiny shadow, following him around, but not chattering at him. He'd chase her off and she'd always reappear eventually. She reminded him for a stray kitten. Aloof, skittish, but persistent and hungry for affection. Sitting there in his RV while they got further and further away from where she was supposed to be, she had relaxed a little. A very little. He couldn't forget the way she sank against the seat and breathed this tiny, soft breath. The sound of it, so innocuous, had gone straight through his heart.

He didn't protest _that_ hard when they told him he had to keep her. Sure, she could be a pain in the ass and he'd definitely resented the loss of his bachelorhood, but reluctant compassion had arisen in him for that scrawny little slip of a girl, that skittish shadow. He wanted a good life for her. Better than anything he could give. A real father, a real mother. They couldn't be that kind of family, and he knew it wouldn't be enough for her.

It wasn't.

He'd watched her grow, indomitable and resilient, determined to thrive in whatever hostile soil she was planted. Her life with him wasn't as harsh as surviving alone on the streets, and it allowed her to grow in other areas, but still. He saw that need in her face, and he didn't know how to fill it.

It was much easier with Dyn. Dyn came with no expectations. He was so young. He didn't have memories or trauma or demands. He was just pure innocence and pure love.

Rey was hurt and hunger. She needed someone to bind up her emotional wounds and fill her cup with unconditional acceptance. Mando had been so scared of that. He kept her at arm's length.

And here is the product of this fear. A young woman who is as strong and every bit as prepared to face the world as he could have hoped for, but who also still retains a semblance of that shadow kitten, needing more than she is willing to admit. Silent in her hurting because she knows she will find no comfort here.

Would it really have been so hard to let her love him?

Mando tamps down a wave of self-loathing. No use thinking things like that. He could only deal with what was before him, not behind.

Eventually he finds a parking lot with a scenic overlook. There are benches seated a little ways back from a sharp drop-off, and a wide vista of snow-capped peaks.

"Lets go take a look," he says, turning the engine off.

Rey puts whatever food remains back in the paper bag and leaves it by the foot of her seat. She gets out without a word. Dyn unbuckles and scrambles after her, grabbing her hand. He's been glued to her side ever since she got back. Mando's noticed, but he doesn't say anything. It's good for both of them.

They all sit together on one of the benches. A chilly autumn breeze flirts with them as it passes, cooling their cheeks with kisses that promise imminent winter. Dyn snuggles into Rey's side, and she puts her arm around him. Mando thinks about snow with distaste.

"So what are we doing here, Mando?" Rey asks softly after a couple more minutes of silence.

He nods at the sprawling mountain range before them. "I thought you could use a different scene. Fresh air clears the mind."

To this, she says nothing.

"So you wanna tell me what's going on?" he asks.

She frowns. "Is that what this is about? We're going to sit up here and have a big heart to heart?"

"Don't you think it's a little overdue?"

She cuts him a resentful look. "And whose fault is that?"

"I mean, I'll own my part, but it's not like you've been a fountain of conversation either," he observes. "Neither of us is good at communicating, kid."

She sighs through her nose and purses her lips, but she doesn't refute his point. Instead, she says stonily, "It's fine, Mando. I know you don't really want to know what's wrong, you just feel like you have to ask. So consider the obligation fulfilled."

"This isn't about obligation. You are not the same as you were when you left. I know I'm not the easiest person to talk to, but since you won't talk to anyone else, I'm the best you've got. And you're wrong, I do want to know."

She snorts.

Over the years, they've not had many confessional conversations like this, and he isn't sure how she'll react to his prying now. But he hopes she'll remember that they _have_ had them, a few, and that they've always gone well. Like once when she was sixteen, and she finally opened up to him about how she didn't feel like anyone else at school. She struggled so much, and Mando couldn't understand it. Rey was like living sunlight wherever she went. He didn't know how she didn't attract a huge group of admiring friends all around her. But she said she felt like she had missed out on what it was like to be a kid, and she couldn't relate to anyone because of it.

That had been a good conversation. He had just listened while she talked and cried a little.

But he doesn't know if things will go that way now. She's a lot more hostile and guarded this time.

He prods. "Come on, Rey, I know you. I know you've wanted to become an agent since you were thirteen years old. You did it. You got what you wanted. But now you're not jumping after it. Why not?"

Rey glares out at the mountains, but her expression wavers a little, like a candle flame sputtering in a breeze. Mando isn't great at reading people. Not like she is. He can't begin to guess what the look means.

"I don't know if I want it anymore," she finally says after a long, heavy silence.

Mando stifles the urge to celebrate. Instead, he just nods and says carefully, "Okay. No big deal. You're allowed to change your mind."

"I said I didn't _know_, not that I for sure don't want it," she says, flicking him an irritated look. "I already know what you want me to choose."

"But what I want isn't important. It's your life. The choice needs to be yours. I don't have anything to do with it."

"Except you do," she snaps. "Of course you do."

"How?" he asks, frowning.

Rey's head tips back and she expels a long, exasperated exhale. "God, Mando, can you just own your influence in my life for one second? Just for once can you pretend that this thing we have here, this relationship, means something to me? Can you pretend to care?"

"Of course I care, kid, but I'm trying to understand. I'm trying not to impose my will for your future on you. That's not my place."

"You didn't have a problem telling me what you thought before," she says, her voice colder than the breeze toying with them. "For years you've been trying to talk me out of going into bounty hunting with you. That I was wrong for it. That you don't want me as your partner at work. You didn't have a problem making my future your business then — and even though it stung that you thought so little of me, at least I could sort of pretend I had a parent who cared enough to tell me their opinion."

"Rey," he starts, but she forges ahead, cutting him off.

"And now when I really could use some guidance, because you're not wrong, I need to talk to someone, you sit there and tell me it's my decision and you have nothing to do with it. But of course you do, because it's always been about you. About staying close to you. But what if you were right in the end? What if I'm all wrong for this job? What if I'm a terrible bounty hunter? And what if I never want another assignment again?"

Her voice breaks and Mando glances at her, alarmed to see the telltale glisten in her eyes, the wet clinging to her lashes.

Dyn shifts on the bench, laying his head on her lap and putting one of his hands on hers. He doesn't say anything. Perceptive, empathetic. He's a lot like Rey in that regard. They can both sense what others need.

Mando wishes he had that instinct. Maybe it would tell him how to help Rey feel better, instead of making it worse.

"What happened in Seattle?" he asks in a low voice.

Her breath shudders through her and she closes her eyes for a moment. And then, surprisingly, she tells him. She talks about the friends she made, the side job she picked up, the ruse she employed to get close to the fugitive, and how much that association meant to her. How much she liked him. And then she tells him about some guy, the skip's son, the same one she called him about. The kid with all the lawyers. She admits to hanging out with him. Her voice gets all thick and shaky when she talks about him, like she's just holding back from bursting into tears.

"But I screwed it all up," she grieves. "We understood each other, and he...was...he was so kind, and I just hurt him. And now I've lost him forever. It was such a huge mistake, going there. I got way too close to all of them. I loved them. My friends. And Han and Chuy. And Ben. I got all tangled up in this pretend life there. It was so stupid of me. So unprofessional. But it felt so good. I felt happy. And it killed me to throw all of them away just for a contract. Especially Ben. God, if you could have seen the look on his face. It was awful. His mother says he's good now, but I can't forgive myself. Because I didn't throw them all away just for a contract. It was for you too. To try to stay close to you, even though you don't want me to. And I hate you for it, but mostly I hate myself for it, because I knew that coming back here, everything would be the same. It's what I wanted. But now it feels so empty and bad. I just want it to be enough, Mando…"

He's quiet throughout it all. Flickers of emotion briefly filter through him. Glimpses of his own failings when she talks about the affectionate regard of Han. The old, old echoes of his own traumatic childhood when she talks about connecting with this Ben kid over mutual loneliness. The satisfaction that she at last found friends. The shock and guilt that she thinks he doesn't want her. It all goes through him and out him like water. He can't look too closely. It's more than he's prepared to face.

He knew. He's always known.

"So maybe I'm an awful bounty hunter," she concludes so softly. "And maybe I don't want to do this at all."

Here at least is a safe entry point, and he gives her a mild half-smile. "I mean, you're not awful. That _was_ a pretty gnarled mess you got yourself into out there. Not gonna lie and say you did it all right. But Rey, it was never about not wanting you to stick around. I didn't want you following me into this job because of all of this." He waves his hand vaguely at her. "These feelings. You care about people. It's good — it's definitely a strength, don't get me wrong. But you can't really care this much in my profession, and I didn't want to see you shut yourself into this limited box. I didn't want to see you shelve your feelings just because of me."

Rey presses the heels of her hands into her eyes and crunches over Dyn. "I hate so much that I was wrong and you were right."

"Why? It's a really good thing you're not a crusty and jaded old curmudgeon like me. Your heart is what makes you unique."

"I just need you both. I know that you don't like it. I know that you wish you could be free of me. But I need to keep you, because...because I can't let you move on without me. So I thought if I worked with you, if I made myself an inescapable presence, you would eventually decide you wanted me after all."

Mando's heart sinks. He still doesn't want to face it, but it's staring at him, obvious and bold. His failure. Just how badly he has failed this girl. "You're right," he says with some difficulty. "I wish you didn't need us. But I don't wish I could be free of you. I...the girl who climbed into my trailer and into my life was this incredibly strong little survivor, and I was afraid. I didn't want to ruin you. I didn't know how to be a father, so I thought it would be better if you never saw me that way. Then I couldn't contaminate your light."

"That's so stupid," Rey says, her voice hitching.

"It was. It is. I'm..." he frowns. The words are painfully inadequate, but he says them anyway, "I'm sorry."

They're silent for a while, Rey sniffling as she wipes the tears that won't stop coming.

Mando clears his throat and offers softly, "Those two weeks you were gone were empty ones. We could never move on without you, Rey. You are part of us. Both of us."

Rey's shoulders shake as she cries harder now. Dyn has wormed his way fully onto her lap and wraps his little arms around her neck.

"Don't cry, Rey. It's okay. We love you."

"We do," Mando agrees, putting a tentative hand on her back. "I do."

Touch has never really been a big part of their relationship. They don't hug. He quickly learned that this feral child who came into his life _did not_ like to have anyone try to hold her hand, so even when they went places when she was young, Mando respected her aversion to touch. When Dyn came along, she discovered how much she liked giving and receiving hugs. But by then it was too late for her and Mando. It would have been awkward. They did not express affection beyond the occasional word of approval from him, or smirky grin from her.

So he doesn't hug her now.

"How long have you known?" she chokes. "How long have you known that you loved me?"

"All along," he admits quietly. "Though I've tried not to. I thought it would hurt us both."

"I wish you would have said something a long time ago."

"Yeah...me too."

She leans into his shoulder and takes one of his hands. Dyn cuddles in between them both. Mando swallows hard.

He draws a deep breath and asks, "You want to know my vision for your future? What I've wanted for you, instead of bounty hunting?"

Rey drags her free hand over her face, pulling herself back into composure, and nods.

"I want to see you do something you love, something you're good at. Like cars, if that's what you want. Or anything that lets your wings unfurl. I want to see you settle somewhere beautiful, where you want to be. Not something anyone else has chosen for you. A permanent home. I want to see you in your own house, someday. A real one. With a yard and a kitchen and a big nice bathtub — and no wheels. I want you to have lots of friends around you. I've always thought that one day you'd find love, something so great it fills your cup to overflowing. And I want you to make the family you've always wanted and never got."

"You are my family," Rey says, the word falling from her mouth like a prayer.

"Yeah," says Dyn, looking up at them. "We are a family!"

Mando doesn't correct them this time.

"But we're not whole," he says, looking at Rey. "And you said yourself, it's not enough."

Rey's gaze meets his, and she nods. Her eyes are soft and sad and still shining. "I wish it were."

"Nah," Mando scoffs, even though he wishes it too. "If we were enough, you'd never strike out on your own. Everybody's gotta follow that restlessness inside them to find their own path. So, kid, what's yours? Doesn't sound like it'll be fugitive recovery."

A slow, reluctant, relieved sort of grin stretches over her face and a breathy little laugh escapes her. "No...it doesn't."

Some of the tension eases.

He cocks an eyebrow at her.

She shrugs. "I don't know. I won't accept Griff's offer, but what should I do instead? Just go back to the garage?"

"Whatever you want. These people you left behind in Seattle, do they still keep in touch with you?"

"Some have, yeah," Rey says.

"And this boy?"

"Um..." she draws her bottom lip between her teeth, brow furrowing a little. "No. He's...silent."

"Do you have feelings for him?" he asks, even though he already knows the answer based on the way she was talking about him earlier.

"I think I might have more than just feelings." She almost whispers it, like the confessions scares her.

Mando's brow shoots up in surprise. Good grief, her first time out on her own as an adult and she manages to get herself a whole complete life?

"Are you in love with him?"

She exhales shakily. "It doesn't make sense. Can it happen that fast?"

"I am the wrong person to ask about that," Mando chortles incredulously. Because he definitely is. He's never been in love like that. Maybe if he had, Rey would have grown up with a mother. But no. Cara Dune is the closest thing he has to a romantic attachment, but he's perfectly content with what they have. "But someone once told me that falling in love isn't an event that happens to you. It's a choice you make over and over again. Like, mutual respect and wanting the best for each other. That sort of thing. Too cheesy?"

"No." She smiles tentatively. Fleetingly. "I miss him. And I — I tried to text him, but he didn't answer. I don't know if he can forgive me. So it might not matter what I feel. His mother, she's the woman Dyn was talking about before, she came a few days ago. She talked to me. She said he's finally taking control over his life. I'm happy for him. I want him to be happy. But...I wish I could talk to him."

"Rey," Mando says abruptly. "Do you want to go back to Seattle?"

Her head jerks up and her eyes widen. "What do you mean?"

"Move there. Permanently."

"What? What would I do there?"

"Get your job back. The one you actually like. Be with your friends. Make something happen with this boy. Get him to talk to you again."

She stares at him for a long minute, her face more open and alive, even in surprise, than he's seen it in weeks.

"Yes," she gasps. "Yes, I want to go back. But — I don't want to leave either of you."

"No, no, don't worry about that," he says dismissively. "I've been restless anyway. We've been in the same spot for too long, and you know how I feel about that. Dyn needs to experience something else. So we'll take you there. We'll all go."

"Mando, are you serious?" She extricates herself from Dyn and stands up.

He laughs gruffly. "Sure, kid, of course. For too long it's been about me and where I want to go. You're an adult now. It's time you get a chance to helm our family's ship. Take us to a new destination."

"Where are we going?" Dyn asks, perking up.

Rey is crying all over again, and this time she flings herself into Mando's chest. His reaction is immediate and instinctual, wrapping her up in the kind of hug he should have given her years ago, when she was still a kid.

"You can live with us," he says quietly, "or you can live with your friends. Either way, we'll stay nearby. We're staying with you."

"Hey, where are we going?" Dyn cries, louder and more insistent.

"We're gonna move, buddy," Mando tells him. "We're finding a new place to live. A new school for you."

"Oh, okay!" Dyn jumps off the bench too. "When are we going? Right now?"

Rey pulls out of the hug and fumbles for her phone. "I gotta tell Jannah and Rose."

"And what about the boy?" Mando asks.

Color rises in Rey's cheeks, but she winces too. "I told you, he's ignoring me."

Mando decides not to opine on this any further. He just shrugs instead and looks at Dyn. "We'll go in a few days. We gotta get some things in order. So maybe a week, or two."

Rey finishes sending her messages and puts her phone away again. She picks up Dyn in a squeezy-tight hug. Her smile is radiant, the way Mando has never seen it.

"Did you hear, Dan? We're a family," she whispers.

"Yeah," Dyn agrees, as if it's obvious. "I know."

Her gaze flits to Mando. He chuckles and gives her a brief nod. "You win. We are."

Rey laughs. The autumn wind sweeps away the sound and scatters it across the mountains.

* * *

**A/N**: Poor Mando. He resisted me on this one. He didn't want to open up. But I'm back from my trip! The updates will speed up now, from here until the end. We're getting so close! Also there will probably some bonus chapters (like those Ben POV ones and maybe some epilogue-type updates, we'll see.) I'll work on the next chapter today to post either tomorrow or the day after, and then another update at the end of the week!


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: **You guys are such a great mood-boost! Haha I'm happy you liked the Mando stuff so well. Sorry this one is a lil' shorty short chapter, but the next one will be bigger, I promise. Look for it near the end of the week!

* * *

chapter eighteen: in a perfect world / colgando en tus manos

* * *

It takes them two weeks to move to Seattle.

Two weeks which are really nothing at all when it comes to moving a family of three 1,300 miles away.

But they are the longest two weeks of Rey's life.

Also some of the happiest. There's a new current of energy running in the background of all their dynamics now. The day to day behaviors don't change much. It's not like their little confessional on the mountaintop has got Mando acting all fatherly and sweet now, or made Rey a loving, doting daughter. Their conversations are still sparse and utilitarian, but they've lost the stilted, bladed edge to their tone and the silences that lapse between them are no longer filled with complicated, unsaid things. There is warmth in their home for the first time ever.

This gesture to keep them together even as she seeks out a life of meaning has done a great deal to soothe her fractured heart. They want her. Enough to follow her to a whole new life.

Her friends are ecstatic she is returning. Jannah says Poe and Zorri would love it if she came to live with the four of them again, and Jannah herself would love to have her roomie back. Rey tells them she isn't going to move in right away, she'll stay with her family — _family! — _for now. Rose says Plutt will take her back in a heartbeat because he's become convinced she was the best mechanic they ever had, on account of the one time she brought in a Maserati.

They all text her almost daily.

The only one who still hasn't responded at all is Ben. Even after he ignored her first message, she rallied enough courage to send him another, informing him that she'd be coming back, for good this time. His read receipts inform her that he saw both messages, but he never did reply.

Still angry, then.

She tries to pretend this doesn't hurt, even though it does. In every other way she is happy. She feels at peace about her decision, even if Griff is decidedly _not, _especially when Mando gives notice himself a few days later.

But the closer they get to actually leaving, and indeed when they finally do pick up and haul out, the more Rey's mind keeps turning back to Ben. During the long stretches of quiet as Mando drives the RV through wide, empty country, towing their two cars behind, she feels it.

The flutter. The breathlessness. The twist in her gut.

She remembers Ben's huge hands on her waist, pushing her up onto the desk. His face close to hers. His touch. His shudder when she brushed her hand to the side of his cheek.

The prospect of being in the same city as him again has stirred up the feelings she's been trying to shut away ever since she left him on that sidewalk. Feelings that run deep, so deep. They thrum softly in the space between her heartbeats.

Maybe Ben can never forgive her. It is possible she has lost him forever. The thought knifes through her, raw and unbearable, but she swallows it back. If Ben is not part of her future, or any of the Skywalkers, she will stay in Seattle with her friends for a few years until eventually her life takes a new turn, and she'll follow her restlessness elsewhere.

These are the kinds of things she tries to tell herself as they make the long, slow trek across the western states.

"I heard you went to visit that weird little psychic granny," Mando remarks to her as the sun begins to set over the highway.

Rey glances at him. "Where did you hear that from?"

"People." He shrugs.

She _had_ gone to see Mama Maz, it was true. This move to Seattle had her all excited, but these incessant thoughts of Ben drove her to do the irrational — seek advice from a self-proclaimed clairvoyant. Rey knew better than to believe, but somehow, everything Mama Maz had said to her during their first meeting had proved accurate and useful. She wanted the reassurance that everything would work out this time, that she could fix what she broke.

But the old woman hadn't been particularly helpful. She just smiled enigmatically and told Rey that all the pieces would align, though perhaps not the way she expected.

"Yeah," Rey finally says. "She's still as weird as you remember."

"What did you go to her about?"

"Just...everything."

He looked over at her with a raised brow. "Well what advice did she give you about _everything_?"

"She said the healing that I've given and been given in return will magnify tenfold."

"What the devil does that mean?"

"I have no idea." Rey laughs. "Like I said, still weird."

Mando drives long into the night, and when he gets too tired, he pulls over so they can get some sleep. They arrive in Seattle the next day in the afternoon. Their preparations ahead of time lead them to a modest RV park a few miles outside the city itself, with a handful of permanent residents. The park is lush and green, filled with mossy maples, golden aspens, and fat happy evergreens. It also sports a big glimmering pond. The whole thing is so different from their spot in the fields outside Denver, it feels like they've entered another world. A dreamlike world. Dyn is ecstatic. Not even the light misty autumn drizzle can keep him from bursting out of the camper the moment they slide into their assigned spot, his tiny legs pumping fast, carrying him off and into the trees.

Rey laughs.

Mando shakes his head. "Poor tyke. He hasn't gotten to see the rest of the country like you have."

Poor indeed. She rolls her eyes. "As if a handful of western states constitutes the rest of the country."

"That's a handful more than he's experienced."

It's a fair enough point. The two of them go to the rear of the camper and dismount the two cars from the towing racks. Mando begins hooking up to the park utilities while Rey checks in with Rose and Jannah.

"So what's the plan?" he asks her.

"I'm going to go see my friends and get my job back. Today."

He nods in approval. "And when do I get to meet these new friends of yours?"

A spark of surprise catches in her, and she gives him a curious look. "You want to?"

"You've never had friends before, for one. I'm interested to see what sort of people you've found. And second of all, didn't we all move here for this? If you're building a life and we're part of it, shouldn't we be part of it all?"

Rey can't help it. She grins. "Yeah? Okay. Can we all go out to dinner tonight, then, so I can introduce you?"

"Just text me when and where."

"I will!" The excitement in her is palpable, and strange. She never could have imagined before a scenario in which she got to introduce her friends to her...well, her family.

Dyn comes stomping back over, his cheeks flushed, his face brimming with glee. "Guess what? This place is _awesome_!"

Rey laughs, scooping him up and hugging him tight as he throws his head back and howls in protest. "I'm happy you like it. Do you want to meet my friends tonight?"

"Uh, okay," he says when she sets him back down. He looks at Mando. "Papa, do we get to stay here now? For always?"

"Who knows how long," Mando replies coolly. "We want to be with Rey, and she wants to be here, so yeah, we'll stay here now."

"Yes!" He bounces on his toes. "I love it here!"

"Hey, I'm gonna go for a little while," Rey tells him. "I'm gonna find a job, and you and Mando are going to find you a new school."

"Okay," the kid chirps. "But you're coming back today, right? Are you going to sleep at home?"

"Yes, I promise."

"Good."

Satisfied, he runs off again. Rey feels a lot like him at the moment. She wants to take off into the trees and maybe climb to the highest branches of one. But she doesn't. She glances back at Mando, who watches her with a funny expression.

Her phone buzzes, and she snatches it out of her pocket with the fleeting, silly hope that it might be from Ben.

Instead, she frowns, surprised. "Whoa. Rose just said she quit Niima yesterday."

"She's just telling you this?"

"I asked her what her shift was so I knew when to go in. She said she's at a different shop." Rey is puzzled.

"Didn't you say the boss was an asshole? Sounds like it could be a good thing."

"Yeah...maybe..." she taps in the new address Rose sends her into the GPS. It's a few blocks away from Niima, nearer to the ferries and still by the water. Not a huge difference in commute time, then. It doesn't matter, she decides. She's confident that she could carve out a job for herself just about anywhere, and right now she wants that job to be with Rose.

"What about you?" she asks, her gaze flicking back up to Mando.

"No need to worry about me." He's pulling a couple of camping chairs out from one of the RV's exterior storage compartments and setting them up. "I'll do what I always do when I get to a new place. Probably have a gig by the end of the day. You go get your stuff done, and let me know about tonight."

"Okay." She darts inside to grab her keys and then she's gone, navigating her little Rocky out of the RV park and on to the route into Seattle.

When she starts recognizing the neighborhoods and city streets of the metro area, Rey's mood begins to bubble up in fizzy wonder. She was just here barely a month ago, but the circumstances are so different now that everything feels new again. This is her home. And it feels right. It's a funny, paradoxical feeling, because half of the people she wants to see here do _not_ want to see her, and she has no business calling up any of the Skywalkers right now to ask if she can see them, to apologize, to clear her conscience in regards to them. But this doesn't trouble her at the moment. Not as much as it should, anyway. Because right now she only has room for eagerness. Right now, she's glad to be laying in the coordinates for a new future.

She decides to visit Rose first, partly so she can secure a job first thing, and partly because she wants to linger at the apartment with her friends for an indefinite amount of time. The GPS leads her to a place called HUNTER RESTORATION. The sign looks shiny and new. Rey tingles with anticipation.

A restoration shop is way better than Plutt's tire and repair gig. Rose couldn't have landed in a better location. She pulls in and unbuckles, practically leaping out of the car.

There are no vehicles waiting in the lot, though she can glimpse a couple occupying the two bays, and vague figures moving around them. Otherwise, it seems completely empty. Rey heads into the office first, a little glass door with the business name written across it in blocky vinyl letters and a little bell a lot like Griff's tinkling overhead both greet her.

Rose is there, sitting at the front desk, focused on the computer. She looks up when Rey walks in, and her whole face illuminates in unabashed glee. She jumps up and scrambles around the desk, attacking Rey in a ferocious hug.

"You're back!" she cries delightedly. "And you found it! I'm so happy to see you! Everything was so weird after you left. It sounds crazy, doesn't it? It sounds crazy to me. Like, you were only here for a little while — days, really! — but somehow everything felt all wrong when you went away again. And then Plutt got all psycho. And Paige kept asking me what was wrong and I didn't know. Yikes, it was all so weird."

She's jabbering a mile a minute, and Rey loves it. She squeezes her friend a little tighter.

"I'm happy to see you too," she says warmly when Rose finally pauses and lets her go. "And I'm surprised to find you here! Tell me about Plutt."

"Yeah, that was a sudden change, I know. It just went down yesterday."

"Did something happen?"

"I got poached. With another offer."

"From this place?" Rey looks around. The office is small and shabby, definitely in need of some repairs, but the chairs look new and the computer is definitely new. SI branded. "How did they know about you?"

"Friend of a friend," Rose says, her grin growing wider. "It's a funny story, actually. But basically this is my first day, and it's kind of a trial day. One of the owners wants me for the job, but he's waiting to see if the other will approve me before we can make it official."

Rey lifts a brow skeptically. "Seems a little cruel to offer you the job if it isn't guaranteed you can have it."

Also, though she does not add this, it makes her own life a tad more complicated. She can't very well bluster herself into a position here if the hiring decisions are split between two people.

Rose just laughs. "I'm not too worried."

"So will you get better pay here?"

"Yeah, better pay and a _way_ better work environment. No more Plutt and his customers that always smell like swamp-ass."

That draws a laugh out of Rey too. She leans against the desk, looking around again. "Do you think they'd hire me too? I'm not going back to that place if you aren't there."

"Oh, don't even worry about that," Rose assures her. "I already talked to them about you. You love restoration work, right?"

"You could say that, yeah. It's my favorite thing."

Rose smirks. Her eyes glitter with something unspoken. Rey still has a thousand questions, but that look makes her forget them.

"Come here, then," says Rose. "I think you're gonna be pretty jazzed about the two projects we just got in today. One is a total overhaul, the other is almost done."

Her tone is conspiratorial. She hooks her arm through Rey's, steering her around. They move behind the desk and out through the side door which takes them directly into the mechanical bays.

And there, Rey stops dead in her tracks.

Sitting in the bays, occupying each one with their squat, squared cylinder bodies, are _two_ VW buses, both with a Westfalia trim, both from the sixties with those highly valuable split windows, mirrored like wonderful little twins of each other. One, however, is markedly less shabby, with absolutely no rust, a shiny new sunset orange paint job, restored trim and a glimmering new nose badge.

That one isn't just any Westie. It's Han Solo's Westie.

"Rose," Rey says helplessly, a strange little plaintive noise stuck in her throat.

And then, impossibly, Han is there. And Chuy too. They look up from where they were standing behind the unfamiliar van, that one a faded, rusty green. When they see her, they immediately exchange a grin and head towards her.

Han looks exactly the same as he did a month ago when he left him at the station. The same cheeky, crooked grin. The same mischievous flash in his hazel eyes. He's even wearing the same stupid jacket he had on when she walked away.

Rey can't help herself. Everything she felt recently crescendos and she rushes to close the distance between them, embracing Han in a ferocious hug as a hysterical little laugh chokes into a sob.

"Han," she gasps, "Han, I'm sorry."

Though it occurs to her that she might not be as sorry as she once thought. Her actions have led to the astounding consequence of being here, in this city, with Mando and Dyn. If she'd simply ignored her contract, that wouldn't have happened, and someone else would be after Han instead. Still, she's sorry for her role in his arrest.

He pats her a little awkwardly, but his chuckle is warm. "I know you are, kiddo. We're all good. It's okay. You did the right thing. Water under the bridge, I promise."

"What about me?" Chuy complains. "I don't get a hug for all the trouble you put me through, kidnapping him like that?"

"As if we weren't prepared for it," Han grumbles, shooting his partner a sharp look.

Rey laughs and puts herself into the enormous man's embrace next, his long meaty arms and massive body encircling her as if she were the smallest of children. "I'm sorry, Chuy."

"Don't worry, mija, everything is fine now."

When she finally steps away from both men, she turns to find Rose grinning like a damn fool. "Did you know about this?" she demands.

Rose laughs. "Of course I did, dummy."

Rey looks around the bays, addressing Han. "So what are you doing here? Is this shop yours too?"

"Now it is. It's a new business venture." He stuffs his hands in his jacket pockets and shrugs. "Whaddya think? Can I pull off a respectable restoration business? Leia made me promise to clean up my act a bit, ease off some of my other...activities."

"It's the least you could do for her, honestly." Rey flashes him a grin. "But I don't know. I think you can only do it if you bring me on board too."

"Well, I was kind of hoping you'd be up for that. Because I have a proposition for you." He looks at Chuy, who just smirks. Turning back to Rey, he gives a little chin thrust. "Chuy here is gonna keep managing the chop shop and our other investments. My time might be kinda divided. So I need a partner. Someone to oversee this place. Someone I trust, who always keeps her word. That's the only kind of person I think can handle something like this. So, kiddo, whaddya say?"

Rey gapes at him, any hope of reply completely stunned out of her.

"I thought she would say yes right away," Chuy says, cocking his head to consider her.

"Give her a minute," dismisses Han.

Rose giggles. She nudges a still speechless Rey. "Are you saying yes? Cuz I'm going to need your decision, boss. Can I have the job?"

"Me?" Rey finds the words suddenly, incredulous and breathless. "I'm the other partner?"

"Only if you want it," Han adds.

"Of course I want it!" Tears are springing to Rey's eyes again. "Are you kidding?"

"Good," Han says without fanfare. "I have a bunch of things for you to sign. And then I have a hiring bonus for you. Sort of an incentive, I guess."

"I don't need an incentive," she trills helplessly. "This is more perfect than I ever imagined. Definitely more than I deserve."

"Well, you get one regardless. You might not be that grateful, though. She's gonna take a lot of work. Even more than mine. You'll probably be here day and night to get her working." He jerks a thumb at the rusty, faded lime Westie behind him.

And Rey breaks.

She laughs.

It's loud, and a little mocking, because there's no way. There's _no way_ that he's serious, or that any of this is real.

"Well, she's cracked," Chuy decides.

But Han is chuckling too, and Rey realizes he _is_ serious, and she can't handle this much generosity. Suddenly her laughter is choking, her breath hitching while tears swamp her vision. Rose pushes her towards the van, and she goes to it, running her fingers reverently along the split window, down the sharp V of the nose. She can barely see it for how she's crying, but then she's laughing again too, and it's all too much to take in. She opens the door to look at the cracked material of the seats, the dusty interior, the perfection. It's exactly the sort of thing she would have picked for herself. It's exploding with potential.

"It's too much," she says accusingly to Han when she finishes her inspection, wiping her eyes dry.

"Honestly, I wish I could take credit," he says. "The job, yeah, my idea. But this? It wasn't all me."

"So," Rose asks teasingly, "Do you think we can get her operational, squeezing in the time between the real customers we get? We've already had some calls. We're probably gonna be real busy real soon."

Rey grabs her hand and gives it an incredulous squeeze. "Rose! Rose. We'll do it together. Did Han poach you? Is that how you're here right now? My head is spinning. I'm trying to understand..."

"Yeah," her friend says comfortingly. "It's okay. I know this is a lot. It was Chuy, actually. He came to Niima. I was totally freaked out at first. I thought I was in trouble with the mob or something. He is super scary at first. That was a good thing, though, because Plutt was way too intimidated to argue with him when he started offering me this job. He said the plan was for you to come manage this place. And how could I say no after he told me that?"

"But how?" She looked between Han and Chuy. "How did you guys know I was coming back? I only told Rose and Jannah, and you didn't know either of them."

Rose and Jannah and...

Han opens his mouth to answer, but Rey doesn't know if he says anything because like someone else has hijacked her body, she's suddenly sprinting away from them, weaving around her Westie and dashing out of the open bay door, skidding to a stop in the parking lot. Her heart practically explodes into a frantic, desperate cadence because she heard it the moment it approached — that deep, throaty rumble of a very expensive, very familiar engine.

The Maserati glides to a stop in the empty lot, threatening and predatory next to her quirky little Rocky.

Rey's whole world slows to an impossible halt.

Han comes up next to her, Rose and Chuy drifting up on her other side. He slings an arm over her shoulder. "Damn. The kid's got a knack for timing, huh?"

The car door opens and _Ben_ gets out.

For weeks now, the image of him struck hopeless and speechless on the sidewalk has haunted her, plagued her waking and sleeping hours. But other images too, softer ones, hotter ones, flickers of their encounters before have also surfaced. None of them do him justice now, real and in the flesh. Gone is the man from that terrible final scene outside the apartment. Here instead is the man who smirked at her in the alleyway, so cocky, who confidently introduced her to his favorite little restaurant, who coolly explained his honey preferences, of all things. The man who swept her off on his bike to another world across the water.

His dark blue sweater hugs his broad chest, his three-quarter sleeves revealing thick, toned forearms. And his hair. Oh god, his _hair_. By far his best feature, in Rey's opinion. It is long and lush and perfectly quaffed in nonchalant tousled waves. The misty weather doesn't seem to bother him, or frizz a single black strand out of place.

He leans against the roof of his car and their eyes meet.

"To answer your question about how I knew," Han says, low and amused at her side. "Ben told me."

Rey tears her attention away from the son to glance at the father. There is distinct mischief in his face again, and he gives her a wink. Her cheeks warm at the memory of some of the things he said in the car. He nudges her. "Go on. You guys need to talk. He won't bite."

"I don't believe you," she says softly.

He laughs.

Rose nudges her from the other side too, pushing her in Ben's direction. Her eyebrows waggle and a grin dimples her cheeks. "We'll see you later, okay? Take as much time as you need."

Then the three of them melt away, going back into the garage, leaving Rey alone to turn and face the figure who has haunted her at the edges of her thoughts, constant and merciless, since she left him.

She sucks in a deep breath and slowly makes her way over to him.

He watches her for a moment, his gaze weighty and unreadable, but when she's close enough to greet, he silently moves around to the other side of the car and opens the door.

"Get in," he says.

His voice, dark and velvety and laced with a firm command, sends chills up her arms. But it surprises her too, and she stops. "Where are we going?"

His gaze flicks to her, and something works at the corner of his mouth. "Somewhere else."

She can't help herself. Bizarrely, and contradictory to his silence in response to her texts, Ben doesn't seem angry at all. Emboldened by this, she hazards a touch of playfulness and rolls her eyes. "Wow, that's very specific and definitely helps me be less suspicious of you."

"We can do this dance again, if you want," he says, "but we both know I'll just win in the end."

"Wow." She stifles a laugh a cocks an eyebrow. "You're a little arrogant."

"Not a little. Extremely."

His smirk makes her heart trip all over itself and coaxes a full fledged smile of her own in response.

Shouldn't they be hemming and hawing in awkward half-started sentences of apology or reproach or...something? This isn't exactly what she imagined when she pictured reconciling with him. He isn't acting like someone she betrayed and hurt. Then again, nothing about this day has been what she imagined.

He's watching her still with those perceptive onyx eyes, and she is blindsided by realizing now how much she'd missed them.

His brows lift expectantly. "So? Are you going to get in or just stand there being difficult?"

"Fine," she says at last, skirting past him to climb into the car. "Even though I shouldn't. I like being difficult."

"I know," he replies.


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N:** Buckle up, this gon' be a long one! We're clocked in at just under 9k words, so double a normal chapter. But I thought we could all use some fluffy goodness after several chapters of angst. Enjoy the sweet reward.

* * *

chapter nineteen: truth is

* * *

They sit in silence for the first five minutes.

Rey was determined to make him be the first to speak when she got in. She wanted him to be the one to explain himself without her having to ask, or maybe be the first one to bring up the elephant in the... car.

But he doesn't.

And after only five minutes, she can't bear the awkwardness anymore. At least, it's awkward for her. She has no idea how he's feeling about it because his face is hard to read and his body language is just relaxed enough to be amiguous.

So she props her elbow up on the side of the door and says, "So is this going to be another one of those times where you just kidnap me and take me to eat somewhere small and obscure?

This wins her the smallest of smirks.

"I never kidnapped you. You always came willingly."

"If you say so. But in all these excursions, you've never asked if I had plans, you just hijack my time willy-nilly."

"Did you have plans for this evening?" He glances at her, a single brow lifting.

"Little late to ask. But yes, I did."

"Well, now you don't."

His rich voice is mild and casual, but she could swear there's a hidden chuckle in there somewhere. She angles her body towards him and squints suspiciously.

"So that's what's happening now, then? The kidnapping and eating thing?"

"Something like that," he hums. "Except the eating part."

"Too bad," she decides. "I could eat."

She _does_ feel a little hungry — her last bite was while they were still on the road to Seattle — but more than hunger she feels a twinge of disappointment. Her favorite times have been when he shows her his secret places. But she can't complain too much. She's here, with him, when she didn't expect to really ever see him again. And he's not acting like a man she betrayed and hurt. He's acting like…Ben. Like the man who showed up at Niima and insisted on sitting there while they fixed his car. Strange, implacable, desperately magnetic.

And his car smells even better than she remembers. There's the buttery new car smell of his fine leather seats, but also the subtle notes of whatever cologne he's got on. Probably expensive, because Ben doesn't seem to do anything by half. It's working for her. In a big way. It keeps lulling her into a sense of pleasure and comfort, even though her mind is fighting to remind her that they haven't spoken since everything fell apart, and there are _a lot_ of other feelings she should be having instead.

"Probably best if you don't tell me that," he rumbles. "I'm likely to cave and get you food, and they made me promise not to."

"Who's 'they'?" Her eyes widen.

"Your friends." He gets this sly sort of look that makes her suspicious all over again. "Or Rose, rather. On behalf of your other friends."

"What?" She scoots against the seatbelt, shifting uncomfortably. "You've been talking to Rose?"

"She has been my useful liaison, yes. Although I wouldn't call it _talking_ so much as _conspiring_."

"Conspiring!" At this she bolts upright. "No, wait, hang on. No conspiracies. No, no. No more surprises, Ben."

That _does_ make him chuckle then, and the sound is so warm and delicious it makes her breath catch for more reasons than just his little revelation.

"Why no more surprises?"

"First," she says, "You don't reply to any of my messages, so I come here with no expectation of seeing you, yet here you are, acting like everything is normal. That's already a pretty big surprise. And now I find out you're scheming with Rose for some nefarious purpose? That, after that stunt Rose and your father pulled with the shop, and the car, and you showing up. It's all wonderful and amazing and I can't even begin to express what it all means to me, but forgive me if I'm a little overwhelmed."

He pulls into a parking lot and shuts the car off. She looks around for the first time. They're at a marina. The fanciest boats she's ever seen occupy the several dozen slips, and there is a guarded gate allowing access to the dock.

He unclips his seatbelt and turns to face her. It's awkward with how big his body is in this sleek, trim car. Still, when he levels her with those fathomless eyes, she forgets how cramped it is and feels like she's being pulled into some infinite cosmos.

"You're right," he says softly. "It's a lot. Would you like me to tell you what happens next?"

She nods. "Please."

"You and I are going out there," he points out to the docks. "To my boat. If you're not scared, I'll take us out onto the water, to a scenic spot. We will…talk. Or not. Whatever makes you more comfortable. I don't intend to force you to clear the air if you don't want to. Afterwards, I might take you somewhere new to show you something, if you want. When Rose and I collaborated, I told her I wanted you for the afternoon. She told your friends, and they decided to use the opportunity to surprise you. So I'm supposed to kill time until evening. At six, we're going back. You should send the address of your new shop to your guardian. Rose said he and the kid were coming with you. Tell them where it is and when to be there. Your friends are putting together a…a barbecue, I guess. An asado? A cookout. I don't know, they're bringing food and grilling it there."

Rey blinks at him, lips parting in disbelief. "What?"

"Dinner at the garage. With your friends. It wasn't really my first choice, but they were pretty eager." Ben's eyes roves her face, assessing her reaction. "Is that okay?"

"Um.." she says softly, a little dazed.

Quickly and deftly, as is his style, he's taken one of her hands in his, enormous and hot against her skin. They haven't touched since his office, and it feels…like coming home.

"Rey, we didn't mean to overwhelm you. When you said you were coming back...I knew you'd probably told some of your other people too. So I found Rose, and she confirmed it, and said everyone wanted to do something special for you. We just figured it out together. Your news kind of had this effect on everyone. And I…"

He trails off.

She looks at their hands. His milk pale skin. Her golden tan. His enormous, thick fingers gently wrapped around her slender, angular ones. She wants to know what he was going to say next. But his mouth closes and traps whatever it was inside him.

"It's okay," she breathes softly when he doesn't go on. She looks back up at him, and he is watching her still, so intently. She smiles. "Yeah. It's great."

"Are you glad I told you? Or sad the surprise is ruined."

"No!" She shakes her head and laughs a little. "No, I am not sad. Thank you for telling me. I'd rather know, and be excited as well as prepared. I really don't think I can take any more shocks to the system today."

He grins fleetingly. "Noted."

"I was excited to see everyone, but I didn't think I would get this kind of reception."

Ben's expression softens, and his voice drops too. "Your friends love you. They were eager to show it. And…my dad too."

"Will he be there tonight?" she asks. "Will you?"

"That was the plan."

"Good." She grins. "I meant for Mando and Dyn to meet them all today anyway. I guess that means he'll get to meet everyone, you and your dad included."

Ben blinks at her, and she has no idea the meaning of whatever expression just flashed momentarily in those opaque eyes of his. Then he pulls the key from the ignition and gets out. She follows suit.

The marina clearly caters to a wealthy breed of mariners, she decides as they check in at the gate house and then walk out among the covered moorings and big flashy boats. Rey trips along after Ben, a step behind because she can't stop looking around at the gleaming yachts and big meaty trawlers. She doesn't know enough about boats to identify them the way she can cars or motorcycles. A couple of employees in crisp white uniforms come out of an office and greet Ben. He issues a few quick instructions Rey doesn't catch.

"You said _you_ have a boat?" she asks him as he leads her down a particular row of sparkling prows.

"I do. I sort of grew up on the water. My parents have one, and they thought they could persuade me to branch out a bit if I got into sport boating in high school. It didn't take. I never competed or anything. But I guess some little bit of it stuck with me because one of the first things I bought after starting at Empire was my own pocket cruiser. I think I planned to take it to far-flung places, but it didn't happen. Still, I enjoy getting out on the water from time to time. It's something I can do alone, and you know how I feel about activities that facilitate solitude."

She grins. "Yeah, I do."

He stops suddenly and motions. The boat in the slip is much, much tinier than the behemoths around it, but it bears a resemblance nonetheless. It has a sleek black hull, from the keel to the gunnel, where it then switches to white, and a jutting, upthrust prow with a chrome railing wrapped around the deck. The cabin looks spacious, despite the small size of the vessel, and when Ben hops up onto the stern, Rey is surprised to find even _he_ doesn't look too large for it.

He holds out his hand to help her on. When she takes it, he gives her a smile that is so soft it makes her breath catch in her chest.

"Welcome aboard," he says gently, not letting go even as he backs towards the cabin.

She doesn't want him to let go of her. She never wants that again.

But these are things she can't or won't say out loud, so instead she ventures a shy grin. "Thanks? I've never been on a boat this small before. Only big things like ferries."

He gives her hands reassuring squeeze. "Tell me if you hate it and want to get off."

"Okay."

There's so much they need to talk about. _Clear the air_, he'd said. But right now, for whatever reason, none of it seems to matter. The wrongs, the hurts, it's all faded to a background breeze while an overwhelming feeling of rightness sweeps into ever other nook and cranny of her mind and heart. She wants to be with him like this always.

And it doesn't scare her this time.

She watches him move about the boat, making preparations, taking a seat across from when he settles at the helm and the dock workers untie them. The boat shudders awake and the engine gurgles behind them. Deftly they glide out of the slip, out of the marina, out into open water. The slower speeds rock them subtly side to side with each rolling wave, gentle like a bassinet. It's more movement than she's ever felt on the water before, and even though it kind of makes her a little dizzy, she finds it an almost pleasant sensation.

"Doing okay?" Ben asks, glancing over at her.

He looks ridiculously attractive with the gray sky and churning slate water out of the open window behind him, running off towards the distant mountains. A breeze slipping in plays with his hair, scattering it over his cheeks when he turns his face towards her.

Rey feels a little silly admiring him like that, but grin anyway. "Yeah."

"Can I open her up, then?"

"Yes."

His mouth spreads in a wild grin of his own, and he eases the throttle forward, standing so he can see as the bow lifts. The engine roars louder behind them and they rocket forward, faster and faster, and Rey feels like she's going to topple backwards until with another push of speed the bow drops and they're level again, positively flying now, skimming over the surface of the water in a sleek line of spray.

She hangs on to the handholds in front of her and revels in the salty sea breeze rushing through the window.

The waves that rocked them before have now become jolting bumps they crack against, but she doesn't mind this either — in fact the speed, the smack of hull against water, and the swirling, foggy sky hanging low over them, blurring the edges of reality, they all give her such a thrill that she laughs, the joy of every moment of this day so far bubbling up in her like little bursts of light, scattering through her laughter.

Ben glances at her again and it's there — one of his rare, glorious smiles.

It makes her laugh more. Every bad thing that came before is washed away. Every good thing left back on shore can wait. Right now, she feels utterly perfect.

* * *

Ben crosses over to where the water winds into the forest, in little bays and coves. There, with absolutely no one around to disturb them, he cuts the engine and lets them drift freely in the water. They're still several hundred yards off from shore, but it feels more protected here than out in the middle of the Sound. Protected, and very, very private. The only things around them are silent trees standing guard along the pebbled shore, the vague cry of seagulls coming from somewhere, and the wet sound of water lapping at their hull.

Rey pokes her head out of the window beside her, peeking out at the foamy sea and the big cargo ships beyond. She can see a ferry too, moving between the city stretched out along the opposite shore, and an island she doesn't know. From this vantage, she feels like an observer of human industry, and not a participant in it.

Ben touches her shoulder, and she jerks back inside. "You don't have to hang out the window," he chuckles. "We can go out there, if you want."

He motions to the bow deck.

Rey's eyes illuminate and she nods. "Okay. No horns to scare us this time?"

"No," he snickers.

They go out the back door and around to the side. Ben shows her how to hold the sports rack on top of the cabin and cross the gunnel, scooting heel to heel, until they come to the bow. It isn't hard, but Rey thrills momentarily with the fleeting fear that she will lose her grip and fall backwards into the icy water. As if he knows, Ben puts one of his hands on her lower back and maneuvers with only one of his own, far more comfortable than she is, apparently.

When they're standing there on the flat foredeck of the boat, gently rocking back and forth with the waves once more, Rey experiences another swirl of dizziness and reaches out for something to steady herself. Of course it's Ben who catches her, taking both her hands and leading her over to the railing. He is attentive and aware, and she melts a little at each anticipatory gesture of comfort. This new experience is made infinitely nicer because he is there.

They sit at the edge of the deck, both of them dangling their legs off the side.

They don't say anything at first.

It's beautiful and peaceful here, and Rey doesn't feel anything but comfortable now. Even the silence is fine. Just being with him is enough. The things they need to address still don't seem as important as they did a few days ago. The forest lining the near shore looks breathtakingly green against the misty gray sky. The boat bobs beneath them and she swings her feet back and forth, perfectly at ease.

Eventually, though, Rey breaks the stillness to say softly, "I met your mother."

"I know," he says, his gaze flicking to her as his mouth twitches in vague amusement. "She told me."

Her cheeks warm and she wonders what Leia had said about her, and about their meeting. But she doesn't ask, because it feels childish, and maybe also she's a little afraid of knowing the answer. So instead, she dodges. "She said you quit Empire."

"I did." Now his attention wanders away from her, out towards the trees. "It was a painful moment, but I realized you were right. My promotion wasn't going to change how happy I was there. It wouldn't to fix anything. I was only at that company because I was running from issues with my family. I figured that if my dad could decide to stop running, maybe I could too. I kept asking you to throw away your family like I had mine, but I realized I hadn't at all. They were still influencing my every move. I still wasn't my own person."

"And now you are?" she asks, barely daring the question.

"Starting to be." He draws a deep breath. "Or at least starting the process."

"Yeah…" She looks at the rippling, choppy dark water beneath them and thinks about her own career pivot. "It's going to be a process for sure. But I am really happy you're starting."

He bumps his shoulder against her in a touch of acknowledgement. And then he says with a hint of mischief, "She liked you, you know."

"What?"

"My mom. She liked you."

Rey wrinkles her nose and knows she's blushing again. "Oh. But how did she even decide that? It was a short visit, I made a fool of myself getting emotional about every little thing, and she mostly did all the talking. I was way too intimidated to say much of anything."

He chuckles. "Well, whatever you said was enough. She has this sense about people. I don't know. It's hard to explain. But she can usually tell right away whether someone is worth her time or not. When she got back, we had a family meeting. After, she took me aside and said she talked to you, and she thought you were great. She really liked Dyn, too."

Warmth fizzles pleasantly in Rey's chest. "Dyn loved her. But she did give him candy, so it was an easy victory."

Ben chuckles and she can see a fleeting glimpse of a small boy in his face. She remembers Leia's eyes, and how they were exactly like her son's. That fizzy warmth glows brighter.

Eventually he leans back on his hands and says, "What about you, though? She said you seemed lost when you two spoke. But you're here now, so what changed?"

Rey shifts, drawing her legs up under her, turning around so she's facing the other way now, her back leaning against one of the vertical rail posts. "I _was_ kind of lost. What happened with your father — Ben, I'm so sorry—"

"Don't apologize," he says immediately and firmly, cutting her off. "I don't want you to apologize."

"I need to."

"And I need you to not do that. Please don't." There's a little bit of an edge to his tone that stymies further argument. He gives her a hard look. "I asked what brought you back here, not what took you away."

She lets out a little frustrated sigh. "Okay well…what happened with your father really messed with me. And what you said too. I couldn't bring myself to become a bounty hunter, and since I didn't have that, I felt like I had nothing. But Mando and I talked, and we worked through some things. He admitted that he _does_ want me. Actually, he said he loves me. And we are a family. He just sucks at knowing how to deal with that."

Ben's brow lifts and his face opens up into something sweet and marveling. "Wow. That's…huge."

"It was. It was everything I've needed to hear from him. And he asked me if I wanted to come back here, and as soon as he said it I knew. I _knew_ I did. Even if you were still angry at me. Even if I'd never see you again. I felt more at home here than I ever have, anywhere else. And there were my friends to consider. So he offered to come here, he and Dyn, so that we could still all be together. Because I'm not disposable."

Her voice wavers, so she stops talking before her emotions overwhelm her.

Ben sneaks one of his hands over hers, curling his fingers around hers. When she dares to look at him, he's giving her one of his intense sort of states. "No one who knows you, Rey, can dare to think of you as disposable."

She shivers and leans into him, putting her head against his shoulder because she can't look into that face anymore after he's said something like that. Not without wanting to..do something about it. Or spill out a confession that is altogether much too premature for whatever this thing is between them.

They're quiet again for a while after that.

And then Ben says in a soft murmur, "I'm sorry I never responded to your texts."

She lifts her head. "Why didn't you?"

"At first, because I was angry."

"Yeah…" her voice drops to a whisper, because she knew he was, and she knows why he was, but it still stings a little.

"At you, before, but by the time you texted me I was mostly just angry at myself. Angry and ashamed. And I didn't know what to say. You asking me for advice seemed…ridiculous. What kind of advice could I possibly give? I was a huge mess, and I didn't want to be a toxic presence in your life. And then you said you were coming back, and I _really_ didn't know what to say because..."

He stops, his words cutting off abruptly. She turns to look at him and his throat bobs in a hard swallow. He stares at the water below them.

Rey needs him to go on, but she doesn't press yet.

Ben frowns, his expression distant. "This has all been so confusing, you know? I mean really, Rey, do you feel how crazy this all is?"

When he looks at her for an answer, she nods. "Yes, I do."

He shakes his head. "After you left, I was _furious_. I blamed you for having the audacity to judge me for my decision regarding Empire, for being weak and bound by your childhood trauma, for having the job you had, for—"

A pink glow rises inexplicably in his cheeks

"—for leaving me, even after we basically bore our souls to each other. I blamed you for a lot, none of which you deserved. It was so stupid. I don't even want to tell you these things, because I know it reveals me for the asshole I am, but you deserve to know. And I hated that even then, it was hard to hold on to my anger. You _arrested my father!_ I had every reason to be outraged. And I tried to be. Even though he turned himself in because of some bullshit about wanting to be here for me — only it turns out, it wasn't bullshit, because ever since he got back, things have been so different."

He's a runaway train now, but she doesn't want to stop him. She _won't_ stop him. He needs to get it out, and she needs to hear every word of it.

"He's actually taking an interest in my life. We talk about things. And he's crazy about you, which also completely sucked, because it was already hard enough to keep you out of my thoughts, and then he got back and started talking about you, bringing you up all the time. Seriously, it started to feel like he had some kind of agenda. So you were fresh in my mind every second and it was pure torture. I wanted to forget you. I needed to forget you. But I couldn't. So when you said you were coming back, I just…"

He pauses, takes a deep breath, and then concludes softly, "Suddenly I wasn't confused anymore."

Rey's heart stops, it _stops_ in her chest. She swears it does, because suddenly she can't breathe and everything is still and silent inside her. The look in Ben's face is incomprehensible, and it makes a sharp, fluttery pain zip through her stomach. She doesn't have to have any special insight into him to know what that look means. He lifts his head and his eyes meet hers, and she exhales a shaky little breath.

He shifts, moving his arm over her, setting his palm against the smooth deck on the other side of her hips, angling his body over her. With his other hand, he traces a knuckle up her arm, his glance flicking from the skin beneath his touch to her face.

"As soon as I knew you were coming back, everything made sense in my head again. And I'm still scared," he admits. "As scared as I was that day on the ferry. Maybe even more now. But I can't — I can't waste even a day. I know what I want. And I think...maybe...you do too."

"I do," she manages to say breathlessly, her heart beating _so hard _against her ribs, rebelliously trying to break free of her and storm into his own chest. She wants to touch him, to trace the constellations of small moles over his porcelain skin, but she can't actually remember how to move right now.

So he moves instead. He takes her chin, his fingers light and so gentle, his thumb caressing along her jaw.

"It this okay?" he whispers.

She nods, not trusting herself to speak. She is trapped in his ink-dark gaze, and she never wants to be set free.

His attention falls to her lips, and he swallows hard again. Then leans in, his breath just ghosting over her mouth, his nose brushing against the side of hers.

"And this?"

"Yes," she breathes, trying not to tremble.

Then the faintest touch, the lightest feeling of skin meeting skin as his lips just graze hers. "And this?"

"Ben," she gasps in protest, because she's absolutely going to fall over the side of this boat and die if he keeps going like this.

He ends her agony.

Finally the kiss lands. His lips are so soft and gentle, but they're firm too in their resolve, boldly capturing her own. And it's a burst of cold fire that rakes through her, igniting her heart. The hand that had been holding her chin moves now, sliding to the back of her head, to the place where it meets her neck, bracing her so he can kiss her even more insistently. Now her own hands are suddenly in his hair, pulling him against her, and she gasps into his mouth at the shock of what profound certainty moves through her. This is right. This is exactly right.

She can't stop kissing him, ever, because nothing in her whole life has ever felt this right.

At her next breath, his tongue teases into her, and she jolts with the surprise of it. At this he pulls away, despite her squeak of protest, because he is laughing too much to continue.

"Are you alright?" he chuckles, searching her face.

And god, his smile is _so_ _beautiful_.

"'M wonderful, don't stop," she mumbles, tugging him back and kissing him again, needing to devour that glorious smile. This time when he asks entry, she allows it, and shivers under the foreign feeling of him tasting her in a way that is so intoxicating she can't figure out why she didn't just jump into his arms and kiss him the first time she ever saw him in that tunnel.

When she has to break away for breath, she finds herself laughing. "And to think your father said you didn't have any game."

"What?" he says in sharp dismay, jerking his head back.

"He told me you're shy, bad at flirting, a virgin, and that you hide and write poems instead of making real moves on your crush."

The blush that flushes over Ben's face at that is so fierce it just makes her laugh all over again.

"Oh...great," he mutters.

She kisses his nose. "It's okay," she whispers. "I love that. And for the record...me too."

"Really?" He blinks, a single brow lifting. "I find that hard to believe."

"Why?"

"You're…" he frowns in confusion. "You're luminous. You're like a sunbeam that tried out being human for a day and stayed."

Rey dips her head to hide from the praise in his neck. "Ben."

"I'm serious," he says. "How have you not already had a dozen boyfriends?"

"I'm difficult," she reminds him, laughing. "And I've never been into anyone. Ever. No crushes. I don't have any secret poems hidden in my sock drawer."

He groans. "I'm gonna kill him for mentioning that."

Rey sits back up but doesn't go far. She can't get enough of touching him, so she keeps an arm propped on his shoulder so she can play with the hair near his neck. He's got a hand on her waist now, and she loves it there. She grins. "Really, Ben, I think it's sweet. You don't need to be embarrassed."

"But it is embarrassing. I'm almost thirty and I've never had a girlfriend. That's pathetic, isn't it? I thought women preferred men who knew what they were doing. Men with experience."

"Maybe," she says, shrugging. "I have no idea what the norm is. I just know what I like, and apparently that's you."

This elicits a grin, a hungry growl, and another kiss.

Rey's head is swimming.

"You make me feel whole," Ben whispers. "I've had crushes before, but I've never felt anything like this. It's not a crush. It's so, so different. A crush is someone you think is beautiful, or fierce, or funny, or magnetic. It might have started that way for me, I think the second time I met you, but by the time we left Bainbridge it was all of that, or more than that, it was…it was…"

Whatever he was going to say, Rey doesn't get to hear it.

Because before he can decide which words he wants to use, their boat shudders with a distinct _thud_ and a loud expulsion of air and water erupts across the bow.

Rey jumps, and Ben jumps, and suddenly they're both on their feet. Ben takes her hand and pulls her across the deck, and there, over the starboard side, a long black dorsal fin juts up out of the water attached to a sleek black body just breaking the surface. A white eye patch breaks the darkness of the body sweeping in beside them.

"Orcas," Ben breathes, his eyes lighting up.

And now Rey can't breathe for a whole different reason. Mingled awe and excitement and just the tiniest trace of fear surge up in her chest as two more — three more! — orcas skim the boat. A couple others join them, and another members of the pod bumps against the boat curiously.

"The engine," Ben chokes in realizaton, and suddenly he's gone, dashing away from her, vaulting himself up and sliding on his hip over the roof of the cabin until he drops out of view back onto the stern. Rey tears her attention away from the whales just long enough to see him through the window. He's at the helm again, pressing some kind of button that makes some kind of noise.

Another whale ejects a spray of seawater from its blowhole and Rey gets _showered_. She squeals and laughs, ducking as if that will somehow minimize the damage.

Ben is back a moment later, grinning like a boy.

"You're soaked," he says.

She laughs.

The orcas investigate the boat a little more, and then take to playing around, rolling just under the surface, flashing their white bellies and smashing their tails against the surface, chasing one another under and around and everywhere. There are five big ones and one baby, and the sight of it tagging along next to its mother makes Rey want to melt into a puddle right there on the deck. She and Ben watch them, transfixed. Ben moves behind her and cuddles up close, his hands on either side of hers on the railing, pressing his chest against her back. It's silly and also intimate and Rey loves it. It makes this impossible moment better.

"People pay a lot of money to go on whale tours without the guarantee they'll actually see any," he says, his deep voice rumbling through his body and hers.

"Did you know they'd be over here?" she asks.

"No. I just came to this spot because I like the view."

"I guess they do too," she laughs.

The pod moves a few meters off, still messing around like they've got nothing important to do.

"You were worried they'd damage the engine?"

Ben leans a little, resting his chin on the top of her head. "I was worried they'd hurt themselves on it. The prop is sharp and they were bumping around, I didn't want them to get cut, so I lifted it. We're not allowed to turn it on until they're at least two hundred yards away anyway."

"They're beautiful," Rey says reverently. And unexpectedly, her mind turns to the cat that doted on Ben in the coffee shop, and how gentle he was with it. He cares about animals. And that, she thinks, it's a very good omen.

The orcas stay nearby for almost an hour, so Rey and Ben are stuck, but it isn't an unpleasant sort of stuck. They settle in and watch the whales and hold hands and pointedly not bother trying to figure out what this shift between them means or what they should call it. It doesn't matter.

Finally the whales swim far enough away that they can go, and then Ben is eager.

"I wanted to show you my new office before we go meet everyone for dinner, so we'll need to hurry."

"Okay," she says, following him back inside. The clouds are thinning by the time they make it back to the marina, and sunlight is _almost_ threatening to break through. Maybe it'll be nice for their cookout, or whatever it is her friends have planned. She is excited to see them, though at the moment it all feels distant and irrelevant. Like the last time she spent the day with Ben, everything that isn't just _them_ fades to the background.

Though when they're back in his car, it occurs to her that even though they know each other in this deeply emotional way, they don't really know each other on a normal acquaintance level.

She settles in to her seat and into a game of questions. "So, now that I let you kiss me, I guess I should probably know more about you."

The way he blushes and grips the steering wheel a little harder is unbelievably charming. "You already know more about me than just about anyone. What else are you missing?"

"Hmm. What's your favorite color?"

"Indigo."

"Indigo!" She laughs. "What kind of answer is that? Who says indigo? Why not just blue?"

"Firstly, because indigo isn't blue. Everywhere you read about it, or try to search it, it comes up differently. Some people think it's purple, some think it's blue, some think it's almost black. It's enigmatic. It's somewhere in the blue-violent range, but everybody has a different idea of what it looks like. And secondly _blue_ is a wide spectrum, and if I say _blue_, people might think I mean cobalt. Or teal. Or navy. Or sapphire. Or—"

"Okay, okay, I get it, you've got a thing for colors like you've got a thing for books," she grumbles good-naturedly. "Okay, Mister Indigo. What kind of music do you like?"

"Wait, what's your favorite color?" he protests.

"Oh. Umm…I like all colors. But probably something in the green range. Or blue-green range."

He chuckles. "Okay. I can see that."

"Can we move on to the music question now?"

One of his hands flits from the steering wheel to the back of his neck in a gesture that seems oddly self-conscious. "Um, I…like eighties stuff. Don't judge."

She grins, delighted. "No judgement, I promise. I am surprised, though. You kind of seem like you have a strong inner emo."

"Oh, I did." He nods, eyebrows lifting in emphasis. "Middle school and high school? Yeah. I worshipped at the altar of MCR like the best of them."

"You 2k kids and your emo phase," she teases. "Did you go full eyeliner and everything?"

"Hey, I don't have to self incriminate like that."

"I bet your dad will tell me."

"That," he growls, but there is no heat in it, "is not fair."

It's a wild fantasy, the one where she persuades Han — or even Leia, if she ever meets the woman again — to show her pictures of Ben in middle school, but she revels in it anyway. She is absolutely certain he'll look exactly like she expects.

"But you're into eighties stuff now?"

"Yeah. I dunno. A lot of the new music is…boring. It all sounds the same." He shrugs. "But the eighties were so _dramatic_, you know? Like the music goes so hard. It isn't ashamed to be completely over the top. Guess I'm an old man."

"Well if you're an old man I'm positively ancient, because Mando raised me on a steady diet of sixties stuff, and I still prefer it to anything on the radio now."

They're at a light now, so Ben takes the opportunity to give her a surprised, and then pleased look. "Huh. That's…unexpected."

She grins sheepishly. "Kinda weird, I know."

"My kind of weird," he says with unveiled affection.

She blushes and takes one of his arms, pulling his hand into her lap.

"What is your favorite poem?" He asks her softly.

"Poem?" she snickers. "Who has a favorite _poem_?"

"I do."

"Of course you do. What's it called?"

"If Everything Happens That Can't be Done, by E.E. Cummings," he says, a grin toying at his plush lips. "And you should really have a favorite poem. I can help you find one, if you want."

She ignores this offer and whips out her phone to googles the title. She taps the first link and reads over it, then frowns and reads over it again. "This poem is nonsense. I have no idea what it means."

He laughs. It's even better than his smile, she decides, the sound of it wrapping her up in a warm blanket. "It's how I feel when I'm around you."

"Crazy?" She wiggles her screen at him. "Because this poem is crazy."

"It's ecstatic," he says. "Deep in the high that does nothing but fall."

She really, honestly, has no idea what to make of that, so instead she peppers him with further questions — about movies and TV shows, learns he likes sci-fi and fantasy and horror, but not sports movies, and surprisingly, absolutely no animal movies. She already knows that he has an affinity for the creative pursuits, but it still makes her laugh when he says he likes seeing any performance, adapted or traditional, of any Shakespeare work.

They park in a structure underneath a beautiful white and glass high-rise right in the heart of downtown, 5th Avenue. It looked new from the outside, and Rey can't even begin to imagine what having an office here would cost. As they park and walk in, locating the elevator, she finally asks the question she should have asked when he told her about leaving Empire.

"So what are you doing now?"

"Walking you up to my office."

"No," she rolls her eyes. "I meant since you quit. Have you decided what to do? Or are you still just living off your investments?"

"Yes," he says.

She shoots him a confused look.

He grins. "I _am_ living off my investments, and will continue to do so indefinitely. I decided to become a venture capitalist. I've got the money to do it, and I love small businesses, so why not?"

Her eyes widen. His passion for his favorite little spots definitely should have clued her in to how perfect he'd be for that sort of thing, but still, this surprises her. "Don't you have to be kind of sharky and ruthless to be a venture capitalist?"

"You don't think I can be?" He smirks, and it's so cocky it's almost pure Han. "I told you, I can be an asshole."

"Yeah, no kidding. I've seen that side of you. But still. I'm not convinced. I've also seen you with those small businesses you love. You're a total softy."

"Don't tell anyone."

She laughs. "My secret."

The elevator arrives and they get in.

"I can be sharky and ruthless with those startups and ideas with high growth potential. For these little ma and pop shops? They'll be my pet projects. Not really money makers, just feel-good money sinks. For those who want to grow, I'll help them succeed, and try to help them preserve their souls while they're at it. And the best part is that it has nothing to do with either of my parents."

That is probably a very good thing. But still, it surprises her.

"Really? You didn't give your dad the startup funds for this new garage?"

"Definitely not," he says. "That was my mom. Sorta. I think she went through a few different channels so she could preserve legal distance from him, but yeah. Part of that family meeting we had was my mom lecturing my dad on cleaning up his act. He's been trying to figure out what he wants to do. When you said you were coming back, I wanted to make sure you had something good to come back to. Something better than that little dive you were working in with Rose. I went to talk to Rose, because I figured she'd been in better communication with you, and she confirmed that you weren't returning as a bail bond agent. My dad said he wanted to give you a job. So we came up with this idea, and my mom figured out the logistics. I think it's the first thing we've tackled as a family since…"

He searches for an answer.

"Since the motorcycle you built with your dad?" she supplies softly.

He looks momentarily surprised, and then thoughtful. "Yeah. Wow."

Rey can't really think of anything to say after that, because she feels curiously close to tears again. That this family she double crossed would pull together in their time of newborn reconciliation to do something this monumentally _nice_ for her? She can't process it. Can't begin to understand why.

As if he can read this thought, he takes her hand and gives it a squeeze.

They get out on the topmost floor. It's a short walk down a little hallway, and then they stop. One of the sets of doubled doors, stainless steel and opaque glass, bears the name SOLO VENTURES in black letters. Rey smirks at it.

"I see whatcha did there," she remarks, tapping a finger to his name.

He smiles a little as he unlocks one of the doors and pulls it open. "Works out nicely, don't you think?"

The office is small, but it is _very_ nice. It smells new, but not like paint. Like fresh carpet and new leather. A deep blue (indigo?) accent wall is the only splash of color in a sea of white and grays. There is a tiny little lounge area with a coffee machine, a couch, two arm chairs, and a coffee table. After that there are two doors across from one another, one to a closed room, one to a clearly visible conference room. The wall between them entirely made of glass, looking out over the city and the water beyond. It faces away from Empire, Rey notes. Behind them, from the other side of the building, they'd be able to see the towering black structures with their red eyes. But Ben has picked his spot strategically so he doesn't have to look at it every day.

"Someday, when I've grown enough to need it, I'll have a desk put in for a receptionist," he's explaining, drawing her out of her thoughts. "For now I'll handle my own affairs. This—"

He walks her over to the conference room. There is a long table with several chairs and an enormous TV screen hanging on one of the walls at the end of the table.

"This is my pitch room. Entrepreneurs can tell me about their ideas here. And over here—"

He opens the door to his own office. And it couldn't be more different from the last time he showed her his workspace.

This one is _full_ of books, she notices immediately. An entire wall is seemingly made up of them. There are plants and pieces of art on the walls, a record player in one corner, and one of those fancy desks that can lift to standing position or lower to accommodate sitting. There's even a succulent on his desk, next to a slim, trim laptop that isn't Empire or SI branded.

Rey drifts among his things, touching everything. Seeing this — that he's made something of his own here — fills her with inexplicable happiness. It is distinctly, wonderfully, _Ben_.

"It's perfect," she sighs happily, alighting in his chair and giving it a spin, like she did before. The window behind her has the same view as the other — the city and the water in beautiful array.

"It is now," he says contentedly. "It's been missing something. But now I know what it was."

She watches him pick up the laptop and move it to a sideboard. He also picks up the succulent and moves it away as well, tidily putting post-its and pens back into their drawers. "And what was it?"

He holds out his hands to her, and curiously, she puts hers into them. He pulls her to her feet, nudges the chair away with his knee, and then steps into her, and for a wild second she thinks he wants to dance, but then he's pushing her backwards until she bumps into and sits down on his desktop.

This is familiar.

"You," he rumbles, leaning in to capture her lips again.

Rey _melts_ into him, into his kiss, holding his face on either side, lest he try to pull away again. He doesn't though, one hand sliding around the curve of her ribs from her back to her front — his paws are so huge it feels like he's holding half her torso — while the other moves into her hair.

This is so much better than she ever imagined. It's overwhelming and perfect and as easy as falling. She holds onto him for dear life as that last sensation pulls her down into a free descent into something a lot like bliss. Suddenly his poem makes more sense. That high that does nothing but fall. The breathtaking, brilliant assurance of _alive we're alive! _The deliriously euphoric leaps of her heart make her want to string happy nonsense together too.

_Love,_ she thinks with a faintest thrill of fear.

But Ben must feel something too, because a moment later he breaks away, panting a little, and she startles to see that his eyes are glistening.

"Ben?" she barely whispers.

He leans his forehead against hers, closing his eyes. "Everything was so bad for so long. I just…it's hard to believe this is real. That this isn't just in my head."

"It's real." She brushes her thumbs along his cheeks.

"I don't want to scare you," he murmurs, so softly, sounding positively terrified himself. "And I don't want to ruin this. I know it doesn't make any sense, and I've tried so hard to reason myself out of it but I have to — I can't — I need—" He shifts, nudging apart her legs so he can move all the way between them, stepping in against her, pulling her in tighter, and lets out a little shuddering breath.

And then he speaks again, his voice thick and halting.

"I think I'm in love with you."

It's silent in Rey's head. It's roaring in Rey's head. It's thunder and snow and music and stillness and everything, everything at once.

His words etch themselves across her heart in deep letters of white light. She gasps. It feels like a wound. It feels holy.

"I know," he says, cringing, misreading her shock. "It's too soon to say that. You're only just back, and the last time we talked was so bad, everything was so bad. It was hell while you were gone. I've never felt like that before. And I know, we haven't known each other that long. It's so crazy—"

She stops him with a fierce kiss, yanking him to her and devouring his senseless, nervous words. And it works, because he relaxes against her, and when she finally pulls away with a wet smack of sound, he's not trembling anymore.

"It doesn't," she agrees breathlessly. "It doesn't make any sense. But I feel it too. I didn't think you wanted me to say it, so I was going to wait until you were ready. But I…Ben, I love you too."

"Rey," he invokes, so soft, so reverent.

And then he's kissing her again, deep and hungry and wanting. She wraps her arms around his neck and leans her whole body into him, fitting her thighs to his hips, just like the motorcycle but in reverse now. He holds her to him, and she has never felt so safe, nor so _wanted_.

* * *

xxx

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**A/N:** Coming up next, Ben meets the formidable Dyn. Oh, and everyone else is there too.

(Probably Wednesday the 4th!)

Also, click thru to my profile with a link to a moodboard with the vehicles of this fic (except the motorcycle and the RV because I didn't like how they fit lol). Or go to: /a/idakruw

**Update 3/03/20: **hey guys! I don't know if I'll get chapter 20 up tomorrow (the 4th) or not because work just heaped a couple of huge deadlines on me so I might be tied up with that. I will try to update but it might not come until Thursday or Friday. But I promise it will come!

* * *

Comment replies:

Guest 1: Haha you're timing is always incredible! You always anticipate the next chapter right before I'm about to post it. It's fabulous. And don't worry, I promise not to abandon this fic!

ldyjaydin: Yes! Haha I've loved following your comments as you work through the chapters. So happy you found my fic and thank you so much for your kind words.

Pipin101: I promise I won't abandon it! The "official" story is almost done, and when that ends I'll work on my time travel fic a bit more, but I'll still be posting bonus chapter updates on here too.

sunnygeek: Thank you so, so, so much! You're so sweet. I've loved exploring these characters in this way. I'm happy they're working for you too.

Guest 2: Haha yes!

Guest 3: Hold on to your hat, haha that meeting is up next!

Guest 4: Yesssss men can be perfect in fiction, and they're harder to find that way in real life, for sure. I love that you're enjoying this!

Hartmannclan: Friiiend, the goodboi sweater *sob*


	20. Chapter 20

**Author's Note:** Hey guys! Sorry this is so late. This chapter was harder to write than any other, for some reason.

This is the official "end" of our fic, and the end of my exclusive attention to it. I have bonus content in the works, as promised, including Ben POV chapters, so this isn't the last thing you'll read in this fic! But I'm going to work on a couple other things in tandem with those chapters. I still need to finish that SAS follow-up chapter (it's mostly written, but I need to tweak some things) and also it's trying to expand itself into a mini-fic, so we'll see what happens there. I am going to continue the time-travel canon fic, Meet Me in a Memory. I also have a one-shot that will be posted later this week as part of a Happily-Ever-After reylo collection, and I'll finish my TROS fix it. Lol, I wonder if I'm ever going to get back to writing my original works again. My novel is sitting there waiting for a second draft and has been since December. :P

Oh well. SW is too much fun right now.

Also I saw a Maserati Ghibli in real life the other day going down the street, and I literally snuck a second glance at the driver just to see if it was him before I realized what I was doing. Haha so dumb, but it made me laugh.

Moving forward — I think most of my readers like T-ratings, yeah? Meet Me In A Memory will keep going with both the clean and explicit versions (identical except for the smut) but as far as future fics go, do you guys like me keeping it clean or do you want to see more heat?

Thanks so much to everyone who has stuck with me through this! You regular commenters made this process so fun, and I've loved sharing it with you. Come find me on Twitter little_womp_rat.

Okay, I think that's it! Let's do this!

* * *

xxxxx

* * *

**chapter 20: home**

* * *

"We should probably go on an actual date."

They're back in Ben's car now, the office building and the desktop make-out session behind them. Rey has lowered her window halfway, flushed a little too hot from their activities, and seeking the cool air against her skin. They are both reluctant to leave _all_ of it behind, though, so he maintains a firm hold on her hand, their fingers laced together and their forearms resting on the center console. He drives with one hand high on the top of the steering wheel.

Rey is still sort of reeling from this abrupt, wonderfully delicious change between them, and she almost misses Ben's remark as they make their way back to the new garage.

She shakes her head, trying to find some mental footing. "Sorry, what did you say?"

He glances at her with affectionate amusement. "A date. A real one. Where you get the chance to say yes ahead of time."

This wins him a surprised laugh. "Oh, wow, I don't even know if I can imagine that. Where would we go?"

"I was thinking one of those paint-and-sip glasses where you drink wine and paint along with an instructor."

"A painting class?"

For all his big brooding mountain body and intimidating demeanor, Ben is such a damn _softy._ Rey can hardly reconcile these versions of him sometimes. This artist is the one who likes cats, she understands, but how he relates to the cocky alpha male she saw so many times before Bainbridge is a mystery.

She considers the idea, though. "Honestly, I've never held a paint brush in my life. At least not one to be used for art. I've painted walls and stuff, but that's it."

"A new experience, then," he says, flashing her a stifled grin. "It'll be fun."

"Or it will be a disaster."

"Which will also be fun."

"Yeah, okay, fine," she finally says, coaxed into a ridiculous grin of her own.

"Great." Ben says excitedly. "I've always wanted to try one but it seemed pathetic to go alone."

She gives his hand a little squeeze. "Honestly, I'll go with you anywhere. Don't worry about being alone anymore."

It's an intimate promise. Perhaps too intimate. But after what they spilled into confession up there in his office, it doesn't feel wrong to say.

Ben slowly exhales a shaky breath and his grip on the steering wheel tightens visibly.

Someone has strung a web of lights between the two micro-buses, both pulled out of the bays and parked a modest distance from each other. The lights are small, fashionable Edison bulbs, their inner coils glowing a brilliant yellow and casting warm illumination over the space between the two vans. Under them, someone else has arranged a couple grills.

Rey gasps in disbelief when they pull up. It's such a pretty, idyllic little scene. The sun is sinking, clouds thin enough now to allow glimpses of a sweet pink-and-lavender sky, drawing out the shine of the lights over a scattering of her favorite people. She and Ben arrive a little after six, late because they definitely lost track of time, and it seems like everyone is there already, except Mando and Dyn. Mando's not known for being punctual, though, so she doesn't worry about it.

"Wow," Rey breathes.

"Huh. The place cleans up nice, actually." Ben parks and shuts the car off, looking over at her with a curious expression. "Are you pleased?"

"Yes, I am. It's beautiful." She laughs softly. When she looks at him and meets that familiar gaze, her whole body warms with secret delight.

He smiles. "Good. Ready to see everyone?"

With a full, unabashed grin, she grips the door and gives him a nod before opening it. As soon as she's out of the car, Jannah breaks away from the others milling around the grill and bee-lines straight for her. She's splashed in clothes of brilliant scarlet and dark charcoal, gold bangles and earrings contrasting with the fabric and bringing out the gold undertones of her flawless skin, and Rey is struck by how _happy _she looks.

A far cry from the frightened, harried girl at the gas station in nowhere Idaho.

It's a quick thought, though, because a moment later she's being crushed in the arms of her friend.

"You made it!" Jannah cries. "I'm so relieved to see you!"

"Me too!" Rey hugs her back just as tightly. "I'm glad you're still safe. You look great!"

"Life is good," Jannah assures her, cracking a wide grin that flaunts the cute gap between her front teeth. "I know it's only been a month but it feels a lot longer, doesn't it?"

"Yes," Rey says emphatically. "It does."

"Come on." Jannah takes her hand. "Zorri needs to be reassured that the decor is good. She's been dissatisfied with it."

"What? Are you kidding? It's beautiful!" Rey is dimly aware that she's lost track of Ben, and glances behind her quickly as Jannah leads her away.

He's standing there leaning against his car again, a lot like he was a few hours ago. His mouth works into a reserved, amused sort of grin, and a blush rushes through her face at the memory of how that mouth feels and tastes. She turns around quickly again and smiles privately to herself.

Jannah looks back too, calling over her shoulder. "Didn't mean to be rude, my guy, sorry! Come join us so we can make proper introductions!"

A moment later Rey is swept into that comfortable, cozy crush of people who took her in and treated her like family even when they had no reason to do so. Zorri is the picture of grace, as usual, and Rey makes sure to complement her excellent taste so thoroughly that Zorri's eyes sparkle and she gives Rey a genuine embrace. Poe asks her if she's going to come live with them again, which she declines — _for now_, she says. Finn is a bouncing ball of exuberance, wanting to know everything about her life since she's been away, acting absolutely disappointed when she doesn't have a whole lot to report.

He has noticed Ben, though, who followed Jannah and Rey over at a slower, more reluctant pace. Finn's energy temporarily curbs, hidden behind a sudden attitude of caution.

"So are you the guy?" he asks, giving Ben a chin thrust of acknowledgment.

Ben towers over Finn and Poe in a way that is almost comical. He's got at least four inches on them, maybe more. He looks over Finn with a look of detachment that Rey hasn't seen for a while. "The guy?"

"You know, _the guy_. The one Rey asked for help with Jannah. The one who gave Zorri the dossier from Empire. The one Rose has been telling us about for two weeks — that guy."

"Oh. Yes, that's me."

Poe sticks out his hand with a lopsided grin. "Great to finally meet you, man!"

Rey wants to pay attention to this exchange — the first time he's meeting the rest of them, apparently, but she can't because suddenly Rose is there too, pulling on her hand and whirling her away from the three men.

She's changed out of her work coveralls and into a soft turquoise sweater. She looks adorable.

"Rey! Come here, I want you to meet my sister, Paige."

Rey finds herself face-to-face with a woman who she would not guess was Rose's sister. She is taller by a lot, her body long and sinewy where Rose is short and compact. She has a slow, graceful kind of smile as she gives Rey a quick, feather-light embrace of greeting.

"Hi. It's great to finally put a face to the name Rose keeps talking about. Hope you don't mind me crashing the party."

"Not at all!" Rey reassures her, smiling brightly. "I've heard a lot about you from Rose."

Zorri and Jannah join them. A cool wind sweeps in off the water and sets the lights to bobbing, but Rey almost doesn't even feel the chill because she's surrounded by friends who are genuinely happy to see her. She thinks, for just a moment, that if she could go back in time, she would show this scene to her ten year old self. That little girl crying in the husk of a gutted junkyard car, curled around a hungry gnawing stomach and an even hungrier, lonely heart, needed to know that someday in her future, she could have everything she'd dreamed of. A community. An overflowing abundance of love.

Jannah links her arm through Paige's, and this subtle action startles Rey right out of her nostalgic thoughts.

The two women notice, and Jannah grins bashfully. "Oh. Yeah...remember that co-worker I went out with a few times?"

It wasn't Paige, Rey knows, since Rose said her sister worked for SI. She tries to remember. "I do...was it Tally?"

"Yep, that's it. She's great — super nice, we had a lot of fun, but it was pretty clear we were never going to be more than good friends. So she introduced me to her bestie, Paige."

Rose giggles. "Small world, isn't it?"

"Smaller all the time," Rey marvels.

Zorri grins. "Fate is funny like that."

The smile that Paige gives Jannah is exactly what it should be. Adoring. Gentle. Playful. Just the way that Jannah deserves, especially after all she's been through.

"It's still new," she says. "We're feeling it out. But so far, it feels..."

"Pretty good?" Jannah supplies.

Paige nods. "Pretty good. Very good, I'd say."

"I'm so happy for you," Rey gasps, and she means it with every fiber of her soul.

"Thanks to your friend," Jannah says, "I have everything I need to keep Phas away, if she ever shows up."

Rose pokes Rey in the ribs. Her eyebrows bounce suggestively. "Speaking of! What about you? Prince Moneybags whisked you away in his mean black chariot and you were gone for hours. What happened?"

She throws a nod towards Ben, who, along with Poe and Finn, has now drifted over to talk to his father. Han is sitting in the open side door of his van, nursing a coke. Finn is animated again, addressing Han with wide, emphatic gestures.

Rey smiles. Ben looks more comfortable now. He glances up and catches her eye, and she can feel his affection even from this distance. It makes her toes curl in her shoes.

"Um..." she starts, not sure how she wants to answer Rose — and the others curiously awaiting her response.

But she's saved from having to answer when Mando's car finally pulls in and parks next to Ben's Ghibli.

"Hold that thought!" she tells them, dashing over to it eagerly.

Mando emerges and looks around. Rey brushes past him to open the door for Dyn. "You guys made it! Little late, but you haven't missed the food yet."

"I wasn't worried," Mando says mildly. "Surprised, at first, but then I figured it would be like every asado I've ever been too — late getting started. It's an interesting set-up you've got here, though. A little more festive than what I was expecting."

Dyn hops down out of the car and immediately starts jumping at the sight of the lights. "Wowie-wow! This looks like a party!"

"It is," Rey says happily, taking one of his hands. It's so weird to have them here, suddenly. The collision of these worlds feels like an episode of the Twilight Zone. For a while now the Seattle group has existed in a separate compartment in her mind, not intersecting at all with her little micro-family in Colorado. But now it's a convergence, and she feels excited and nervous and all of the feelings a person can have at the same time.

"Come meet my friends," she tells them.

Mando motions to Ben's car. "Clearly someone here has good taste."

"You'll meet him too," Rey laughs even as her stomach gives an anxious lurch. She motions to the shop. "I have a lot to tell you, but the short version is that I got a job here."

"Good," Mando says approvingly.

Rey feels like she's glowing.

"Oh my _goddd_, Rey!" Rose squeals at their approach. "Is this your little foster brother? He's so cute!"

Dyn draws behind Rey's leg, half-hiding himself in a sudden fit of shyness. The others gather around too.

Rey squeezes Dyn's hand to reassure him. She introduces both of her guys to the group of friends, and it is only then that she feels the night properly begin. Poe and Finn join them, and everyone is gracious and enthusiastic. They sweep around Mando and Dyn like a blanket, welcoming and warm. They ask Mando about bounty hunting, and about what Rey was like as a teenager. Mando answers their questions with his usual taciturn formality, but it doesn't come across as stand-offish. In fact, it only seems to encourage them, and pretty soon they're talking over each other trying to learn more. Zorri is really good with Dyn, it turns out, and eventually lures him from hiding. She, Paige, and Jannah engage him in a silly little game of tag.

Rey catches Ben's eye across the party again. He's watching them all interact, his expression difficult to read. His father says something to him, and he nods. It's strange and nice to see him hanging out with his dad like that.

Mando nudges her and asks in a low voice, "So which one is the kid of your skip?"

The enthusiastic conversation has finally abated, she realizes, and everyone is splitting. Poe has wandered over to help Chuy at the grill. Finn and Rose have fallen into some kind of giggly conversation. It's a good moment to finish the rest of the introductions.

"He's over here, come on," Rey says with a small smile. She takes Dyn away from Zorri, Paige, and Jannah.

Han stands up when they approach, setting his coke down and giving Rey a crooked smile.

"Finally get to meet the fam, huh?"

She grins. "Yeah, guess so. Han, Ben, this is my foster father, Mando. And this is my kid brother, Dyn. Guys, this is Han, my fugitive, and Ben...his son."

Ben shakes Mando's hand, and then Han does, his grip firm but his face screwing up into a perplexed look. "You seem sorta familiar there, Mando. Have you come after me before?"

"Not that I can recall," Mando says. "I saw your file when Rey was assigned the case. I'm pretty sure I would remember you."

"Yeah, you definitely would," Ben remarks.

Han laughs. "Can't argue with that. It's probably for the best anyway." Here he cracks a cocky smirk. "That would make things pretty awkward when we become in-laws."

"Han!" Rey squeaks, her whole body instantly engulfed in the fiery inferno of living hell. She's got a full-body blush going on now, she just knows it, and she doesn't know if she's going to combust or lay down and give up the ghost right there on the spot.

Mando laughs. "Oh? Is that the situation here?"

"Pretty much the gist of it," Han says with a nod.

Ben has turned away in a barely disguised cringe. It's hard to tell in the light, but his cheeks seem as flushed as Rey feels right now. He composes himself and clears his throat. "Please ignore my father," he tells Mando. "He's punishing me for being an ass, by being an ass himself. He likes making people uncomfortable."

Mando assesses Ben with a shrewd, appraising eye. "So you're the one I've heard about, then. The one she was all worked up over when she got home."

"Oh my god." Rey really wants the ground to just open up and swallow her whole.

Ben glances at her, and she could throttle him for that tiniest of smirks he's wearing.

"Do we need to have a discussion about your intentions with my kid?" Mando asks Ben.

Han nudges Rey. "Hey, this was a great idea, pup. I'm having a wonderful time."

"This wasn't my idea," Rey mutters. To Mando she pleads, "Stop. Stop talking to Ben."

"What?" he asks, lifting a brow in feigned ignorance. "You're the one who asked me to be more of a real dad. Isn't this was dads do? Embarrass their kids?"

"This is _exactly_ what dads do," Han confirms.

And then — much to the mortification of everyone watching — the two of them actually _fist bump_.

Rey can almost hear the groan from a live studio audience. She buries her face in her hands, letting go of a quiet Dyn to do it.

Han laughs. Mando grins.

Dyn uses his newfound freedom to step away from Rey, tapping on Han's arm. "Is this your car?" he asks softly.

Han fluffs Dyn's curly hair. "Sure is, little man. Your sister helped me make her all pretty."

"Rey, you did a good job," decides Dyn with wide eyes. He climbs inside. "It's so cool."

"You're a bit younger than me," Han says to Mando, patting the top of the van. "Did you grow up with these babies running around or were those ugly eighties models on the road by the time you were getting your license?"

Ben shifts to Rey's side as the two older men launch into a discussion about the various eras of micro-buses. One of his hands finds her hip, sneaking around to the small of her back. He bends his head to the side of hers, keeping his voice low and private. "Are you okay?"

"Fine," she says, still a little flustered.

"Sorry about my dad," Ben says, his glance darting to the others.

"Mando's guilty too."

"Pretty sure mine's the one who started it."

Rey can't help it. She smiles a reluctant smile. "That's not the first time he's made jokes that like to me. I swear he does it because he likes the reaction he gets."

Ben chuckles. "Of course that's why he does it."

His fingers find hers, lacing into them nice and snug. She looks at him in surprise. He shrugs. There's no reason to hide their regard if they're going to get mercilessly teased for it anyway. Might as well lean in and take their lumps like good sports. He clearly doesn't care who sees it, so Rey decides not to either.

_Dyn_ sees.

He's hopping out of the van again when he spots them. His little face furrows into a confused frown and he darts over immediately.

"What are you doing?" he demands.

"Waiting for the food to be ready?" Rey replies, surprised and confused by the confrontational tone.

"No, I mean why are you guys holding hands?"

"Oh." She glances at Ben, smiles, and then mimics his earlier shrug. "Because we want to, pal. Ben is my special friend. I like holding his hand."

"I like holding yours too," Ben murmurs.

"I don't," Dyn says sourly. His frown has turned into a fierce glare, which he throws at Ben. He seizes Ben's forearm, tiny hands grasping in futility at those huge muscles, and tries to pull it away. "Stop it. You can't do that."

Surprised, Ben lets go of Rey and lets Dyn bat his arm away. He crouches down to the boy's level. "Why not?"

Dyn takes Rey's recently vacated hand, still scowling. "She is _mine_, not yours. You can't hold her hand. That's what only I do."

"Whoa," Rey says, genuinely surprised, crouching down as well. "You're being kind of mean, Dyn. What's gotten into you?"

The child has his occasional bad moods, of course, but he's never been deliberately rude to anyone before. He doesn't have a mean bone in his whole body. Normally he's the picture of kindness, winning everyone over with good will and an easy smile. Rey has never seen this side of him before.

He gives Ben another dirty look. "You just came back. An he wants to take you away from me."

"No he doesn't." She looks at Ben for help here, but he's regarding Dyn with this funny look. Like he's a little bit fascinated, or appreciative, or something. At least he doesn't seem offended.

Dyn rushes into her, burying his face into her neck. His voice warbles with distress. "You can't go with him, Rey! You said you would never leave again. You have to stay with me."

"Hey, hey," she says softly, her instincts to soothe overriding her surprise. "It's okay, buddy. Calm down. I'm not going anywhere. I'm with you. Always. That's why we moved here, remember? So we can stay together."

Dyn doesn't say anything. He's not crying, but he doesn't leave her embrace either. She can feel every frantic beat of his tiny heart thrumming through his body like the flutter of a bird.

To Ben, she gives a helpless shrug. "I'm sorry. I don't know why he's acting like this. Normally he's a really easy kid to love."

"You don't have to apologize for him," he says gently. His attention flicks away from Dyn, burrowed in her arms. "It's okay."

Mando notices and breaks off from his conversation with Han. "So what's happening here?"

"Dyn's just acting weird," Rey tells him. She pulls the child away from her and brushes hair out of his face. He's giving her a troubled, accusatory look. She kisses his furrowed brow and gives him a little push to go back to Mando. "He's being rude to Ben for no reason."

Ben unfolds, standing back up. Rey does too. He shakes his head. "He has his reasons. It's fine. We were all just getting to know each other a bit better." He gives Rey a reassuring grin. "Obviously you two are very close. You told me that before, but I see it now."

Mando nods. "She's basically been his mother. Or the nearest thing to it."

"It's okay, short stop, you can be mean to that big guy," Han says, leaning in to Dyn. "When he was little like you, he could be plenty mean too. He can take it."

"I can take it," Ben agrees.

A smattering of Spanish erupts behind them, Poe and Chuy falling into some heated argument, and Mando's attention immediately zeroes in on them. He perks up, and as always happens when he hears the call of his people, he excuses himself to go join them. Dyn follows, shooting Ben a little glare over his shoulder as he does.

"Okay, so spill, Ben," Han says, sitting back down in the open side door of his van. "What did you do to the kid?"

"He didn't do anything," Rey says immediately. She steps over to him and pokes Han's shoulder. "But you! You're a different story. You have to stop with your shenanigans."

Han lifts his hands innocently, grinning. "What'd I do?"

"You know exactly what you did."

"Hey!" Rose pops up beside them. She looks flushed and happy. "Can you spare your giant hunky strong boyfriend for a minute? Finn wants help getting the tables out of Poe's truck. We could all help him, of course, but I think either he's a lowkey misogynist or he wants to size Ben up because he said it's a _man thing_."

She rolls her eyes and laughs.

Rey's laughs too, but she gets caught up on the word Rose used. "He's not—"

"I can help," Ben says swiftly, cutting her off. "The old man can too."

Han grumbles in protest.

Rose giggles. "Great! Thanks."

Before he goes, though, Ben pauses and gives the little engineering student a small smile. "I think we did good here, by the way. You're an excellent co-conspirator."

Her eyes widen along with her grin. "You aren't kidding! It all worked out so perfectly. So seamless. That never happens."

Han stands up, still grumbling. "What am I, chopped liver? I helped too."

Rose pats him. "You did," she says consolingly. "You gave Rey and me a place to come work."

Ben huffs a low chuckle, gives Rey a passing significant look, and then he and his father step away to help Finn.

Rose rounds on Rey, hands going to her hips. "You were _not_ about to feed me some BS about that man not being your boyfriend."

Rey opens her mouth to protest, but Rose overrides her.

"—Because I've been talking to him for two weeks now, since you announced you were coming back, and I'm pretty sure he's halfway to putting a whole ass diamond on your finger. And I saw the way you lit up when he pulled in here. You're halfway to accepting the rock, aren't you?"

Rey flounders for something to say, but words slip away in all her fluster. "We didn't — we aren't—"

"Tell me nothing happened this afternoon." Rose raises an expectant brow. "Go on. Try to tell me that nothing at all happened."

Orcas. Orcas happened.

A breathless little laugh escapes her, and Rey feels like the blush in her cheeks will never get a chance to cool again. "Okay, then I won't."

Rose grins, her eyes illuminating with excitement. "I knew it!"

"_Something_ happened, yeah, but we didn't — we didn't really label what this is or anything."

Yes they did, she realizes with a lurch. They did give it a very significant label. They'd both said _love_. But Rey would feel like a lunatic admitting that to Rose, and besides, it is too private to share with anyone else right now. Ben has been dragged into the same senseless feeling right along with her, the two of them caught up in this mysterious connection that runs so much deeper than a few interactions and a few meaningful conversations. It feels primordial. Like it has existed long before they ever met.

Rey does _not_ believe in soulmates or any dreamy nonsense like that. But this...feels...about as close as she is willing to admit. Certainly there is something at work here greater than herself or Ben.

"The boy would move heaven and earth to make you happy." Rose motions to Rey's faded green-blue Westie. "He got you a rare classic because he knows you love them. He asked me not to tell you he was the one who bought it, which was so stupid because _of course_ I was always gonna tell you, but what that tells me is that clearly he's not just doing nice things to get into your pants. It's really obvious how he feels about you. And you're not real subtle either. So you'll label it soon enough, and when you do, I won't have been wrong about calling him your boyfriend. I just better decide if I'm gonna hook up with Finn or not or else all you couples are gonna leave me in the dust."

Rey seizes this last thing to rescue her from having to address the rest of what Rose has said. "Really? You're thinking about it?"

"I am, actually. He clearly wants to, but I'm trying to decide. Are we really becoming _that_ friend group?"

"I guess we are," Rey laughs.

Rose grins, her cheeks dimpling. "Mostly I'm just glad you accepted that ride from Ben when we were going to meet up with everyone that first time. Because then we got to work on his car together. And because of that, he came and found me and offered me this sweet new job in a way better place."

"One where we get to work together restoring cars," Rey agrees.

"Best turn of events ever." Rose beams, and Rey feels transcendently happy. Like nothing can ever get better than this night, right now. It's that soul-deep conviction that she is in the midst of a memory.

Chuy announces that the steaks are about done, so the rest of the preparations kick into overtime. Ben and Finn get the tables set up, and then part. Finn goes to pump some music through Han's van, and Ben jumps into help Zorri set out the dinnerware. Jannah and Paige have resumed their game with Dyn, and his happy squeals ring out through the night in concert with Finn's music. Rey helps Rose haul out the other food dishes from the back of Paige's car. Mando, Poe, and Han keep Chuy company, apparently all engaged in some kind of vehement debate.

They all sit down to eat, and the conversation swells to include everyone. Zorri wants to hear about Han's arrest and everything surrounding that, so he regales them a more comedic retelling of the events than what actually happened. He manages to embarrass Rey and Ben a few more times, much to his great delight, and then he and Mando are exchanging wild stories about strange arrests, and everything seems to move in double time.

Everyone is in high spirits. They laugh easily. Even Ben, the self-proclaimed introvert who dislikes crowds, seems at ease here in this company. He's not quite as relaxed as he was in the coffee shop, but still, his smiles come more frequently and more easily. And he keeps giving her these looks that make her heart fly into an erratic rhythm and she could swear the ground beneath her rocks a little, like a boat adrift.

But Dyn proves to be a formidable opponent.

After dinner, everyone mills around in pockets of conversation, reluctant to pack up and leave. If Ben ever gets too close to Rey, particularly if he ever takes her hand, Dyn is suddenly there, transformed into a little ball of fury trying to wrench them apart. He shoves against Ben's legs, completely unaware that he looks like a mouse trying to push down a redwood.

Rey keeps trying to pry him off, shoo him away to go play, but he reappears again and again, any time Ben tries to initiate a little physical contact. Finally, when Rey starts to grow genuinely frustrated, Ben decides to address the situation.

In one fluid movement, he's caught all of Dyn's wrists and ankles in one of his gigantic hands and hauls the tiny kid up like a hog tied to a roasting spit. He peers into Dyn's upside down face.

"You and I need to have a conversation, sir," he says firmly.

Dyn snarls and squirms. "Let me go!"

"I will," Ben assures him. "But you have to agree to talk to me. Do we have a deal?"

Dyn scowls. "Deal."

Ben lets go of Dyn's ankles and sets the boy back down onto his feet. He keeps hold of one of Dyn's hands though and snags one of the camping chairs Poe and Zorri provided for the evening. "Okay, then, come on."

They start off towards his car. Rey follows, but before they even get a few steps, Ben turns around and shakes his head.

"No, sorry, Rey. You have to wait here. This conversation is man to man."

Dyn's chest puffs out in pride and he lifts his chin high into the air. "Yeah, Rey. Wait here."

Startled, Rey stops and watches them walk away. This was...unexpected. She's not sure how to feel about it.

"Rey!" Han calls, waving her over to where he and Mando are sitting at one of the tables.

She hesitates. Dyn isn't in any danger, of course, and there's no reason she should be worried. But still. This moment unsettles her. She wants to know what Ben will say to him. By his own admission, he's not had much — or any — experience with kids. Will he know how to talk to Dyn? And what does he want to talk about anyway? Is he trying to tell the kid to cool it?

This is an uncomfortable feeling. It's a greater collision of her two worlds than anything that has happened so far.

Ben puts Dyn on the hood of his car and then unfolds his chair, sitting down in it. The two of them regard each other warily.

"Come on," Han calls again. "They're fine."

So finally Rey goes, plopping down on the bench next to Mando. "Dyn is okay," she reassures him. "Ben wasn't too rough when he picked him up like that."

"I wasn't worried," Mando says mildly.

"I've never seen him be this jealous before." She picks the pecans out of the salad leftovers.

Mando grunts in acknowledgement. "He's never seen you pay attention to someone the way you do to Ben before either. And neither of have I. It's new."

"Yeah, it is new," she says a little too defensively. "I don't really want to talk about it."

Han chuckles. "It's okay, we don't have to talk about you and Ben. I just wanted to know if he'd told you about dinner on Sunday yet."

"Sunday?" Rey blinks. "No?"

"Too busy with other things, then," Han teases.

"A bit." Rey gives him a prickly look.

"Well, my family is tryna get past the past, we're tryna resolve all our issues. It's a lotta knots to untangle. Leia thought it would be a good idea to establish one night a week where we all sit down at the same table for a meal. If that's the only thing we can stand of each other, that's fine, but at least we have that. Anyway, she wants you to come this week."

"Me?" Rey's eyes widen and her pulse quickens at the memory of the woman who definitely did not belong in her camper. "Why?"

"Why?" Han snorts. "Come on, kiddo, weren't you listening to what I said when we were stuck in traffic?"

"I have tried to forget it."

"You know what I'm talking about though? Vetting?"

"Yes, yes," she says heatedly. "I know. But she already did that when she showed up to talk to me that day she was springing you from jail."

Han chuckles. "I heard something about that. I guess maybe she did learn some things about you that day, but I guess she wants to know more. Maybe. I'm not sure, to tell you the truth. She doesn't really elaborate her motives to me. But Luke is coming too, so maybe it's got something to do with burying the hatchet."

"I don't have a hatchet," Rey protests. "I'm fine with Luke."

Then again, Luke was in the dark about what she was doing in Seattle — she _had_ technically lied to him, and he'd no doubt learned the truth by now, so it is entirely possible that he does have a big beef with Rey, but if that's the case, she isn't eager to step willingly into that confrontation.

"It'll be the first time he and Ben sit down at the same table in forever," Han sighs. "Could be a lot of fireworks. Apparently you've been a good influence on both of them in turns, so maybe it's a good idea to have an outside party. Do Leia and me a big favor and be there, huh?"

Rey exhales in defeat. "Okay."

"Ben will pick you up," Han says brightly. He glances at Mando. "Sorry I can't extend the invite. My wife will probably want to meet you and the little guy soon enough."

Mando waves him off, completely unconcerned about the snub. He looks around at the group, Poe now breaking down the grill, the others laughing and talking. He gives Rey a surprisingly soft look.

"You've done well here. These seem like good people."

Rey smiles. "I think they are."

"Most of 'em," Han agrees. "Chuy and me might not qualify."

"You do," Mando says with amusement. To Rey, he adds, "This is exactly the kind of thing I hoped you'd find someday. A group of friends like this. A life that suits you as well as this one does."

"I'm happy," she admits. "This was definitely the right decision."

Han lifts his can of soda in a toast, and they reciprocate.

After that, the party starts to wind down. Everyone starts cleaning up. When Ben and Dyn return, he immediately helps Finn pack the tables back into Poe's truck. Dyn asks Han if he can play in his car again. Rey wants to ask him what Ben said, but Mando discourages her.

"He's fine now," he says. "Don't drag it all up and get him stirred up again."

So she doesn't. But the unbearable curiosity lingers with her.

Eventually everything is put away and people begin to trail off with lingering, reluctant goodbyes. They joke that they should have a cookout every weekend here. Han and Chuy put Rey's bus back in the shop bay, and then get in his own, trundling off into the night without any adieu. Rose locks up the shop, tells Rey to let her know what time she should show up in the morning, and then heads off hand-in-hand with Finn.

Rey follows Mando and Dyn to his car. She helps Dyn get buckled, and thinks that is probably the extent of their parting, until Mando pauses before getting in and gives her a strange look.

"What?" she asks.

"I'm trying to figure out what I'm supposed to do in this situation. Do you want me to play the protective parent role and lecture you about curfews and being careful when you're alone with a boy, or do you want me to let you be an adult who can make her own choices?"

She laughs. "Uh, the second one, please."

"Okay," he nods, obviously relieved. "Just be quiet when you let yourself in. Dyn will be exhausted and I don't want him waking. And if you decide not to come home tonight," he throws a look in Ben's direction, "let me know that too, huh? Just so I don't worry."

"I'm coming home," she says quickly, flushed hot again. "I promise."

He nods, gets in his car, and then they're off, slipping away into the night.

And all that is left is Ben.

Rey draws a deep, steadying breath and turns around. The lot is empty now. All the evidence that there was a party here is cleaned up and gone. It once more looks like the husk of a darkened auto shop with a nearly-empty parking lot, the moonlight reflecting off the Sound across the street. The clouds have cleared now, leaving the night sky on full resplendent display. Well, sort of resplendent. The light pollution from the city has shielded all but the brightest stars. Still, it's beautiful.

Ben is on the hood of Rey's car, lying back and looking up at the cosmos. She drifts over to him. He scoots a little to make room for her, and she does climb up next to him — the Rocky's hood holding firm under their weight stretched out across its surface.

"There were more stars at our trailer park in Colorado," she remarks softly.

He hums. "In the summer, I'll take you camping in the Cascades. Then you'll see what a night sky is supposed to look like."

Rey shivers, and even though it is growing quite cold now, she isn't sure it's only from that. The idea of being in the mountains with Ben is a tantalizing image, as is the thought of what sorts of adventures they might have all throughout the winter leading up to it. Happiness trickles through her, drawing a sublime smile.

"Thank you for doing this," she says to him after a minute. "All of this."

He turns his head to look at her, but she keeps her attention on the stars.

"Did you enjoy your day?"

She laughs a little. "Of course I did. It was all so perfect."

He doesn't move, so she finally does look because she can _feel_ his smile. And yep, it's there. Full and dimpled and more beautiful than the sky by far. Impulsively, she props up on one elbow, tilts in towards him, and takes that smile for her own in a soft, chaste kiss.

A low hum of pleasure rumbles through his huge chest. His hands come to clasp her face gently, holding her there so he can taste her in return, the brush of his lips light and exploratory.

He's warm, so she cuddles into his body, resting her head on his chest while his arms engulf her.

"It's funny how this all worked out," he marvels.

"The strangest," she agrees. "But now, seeing the results, I don't think I would have changed a thing."

"Me neither."

Lying here like this is extremely intimate, and Rey's mind does flit uneasily over what other sorts of things they could learn about each other, physically speaking. She's not ready to plunge headlong into _every_ aspect of a relationship yet. But lying here is also extremely easy and not at all fraught with expectation. Ben is relaxed. His touch is gentle and unassuming. It's not hard to let the worry drain out of her and just enjoy this moment.

"Your friends are an interesting group," he remarks with amusement. "Poe and his wife were particularly intriguing to talk to. They're thinking of starting a spin-off company focusing on outdoor experiences for kids, and I'll have to take a look at their plans, but it might be something I want to jump in on."

Rey laughs. "You really managed to talk business at a party like this?"

"It came up organically, and it was more interesting than listening to Chuy and the two old men talk."

Rey rests her chin against his chest. "At least they seemed to get along pretty well."

"I wondered if things would turn sour when my dad learned about Mando's religion." Ben chuckles. "Funny that an entirely different bounty hunter in a different state who did come after him was part of the same religion. Are they all bounty hunters?"

"Bail bond agents," she corrects playfully. "And no, they're not. But duty is a huge thing to them — the biggest thing of all, maybe. So a lot of them tend to find their way into careers that reinforce some sense of duty and purpose."

He gently tucks her hair behind one ear, letting his fingers linger along the curve of her jaw. "Interesting. Do you think Dyn will grow up with that too?"

"I don't think so. Mando has never pushed his beliefs onto me, and it doesn't look like he's going to do with Dyn either. We'll see, I guess." And then, remembering, she props herself up again. "Wait, what happened with Dyn? He was fine the rest of the night — what did you say to him?"

"We just talked," he said, shrugging. "He was clearly positioning himself as the gatekeeper to you, so I figured I needed to get his permission if I wanted to actually date you."

Rey laughs at the image of her tiny, angry guard pitting himself against a mountain like Ben. "Did you promise him you weren't going to take me away? I can't believe he was worried about that. I wonder what put that idea in his head."

"No," says Ben. "I didn't."

That...catches her off guard. She sits up, giving him a confused look. "You didn't promise him that?"

"I did not," he affirms, following her up. "Your little brother is a bright kid. I didn't want to lie to him. He'd see through that. If I'm going to be in your life, I need to be in his good graces, and how could I do that by making him a promise I might break?"

"What? What do you mean you might break?" Rey wants to laugh, but honestly she's just too baffled. "Are you planning on kidnapping me and hauling me off to Canada or something?"

He chuckles. "No. But I suppose we should talk about this, after what happened in my office."

Does he mean the hot and heavy kissing on his desk? Or the fevered, senseless confessions of being incomprehensibly in love?

"Okay...?" she says uncertainly.

"Come here." He takes her hands and pulls her off the hood of the car, guiding her around in front of him while he stays seated. They're faces are level now, and it's easier to gauge each other's reactions like this. He keeps her hands engulfed in his own. His lips are full and tempting, and for a moment she forgets everything except a sudden urge to kiss him again.

She doesn't.

He draws a breath and speaks carefully. "Maybe I should have warned you about this before what we said in the office. It's not really fair to spring it on you now. But the thing is, you need to know that I'm in this for the long haul."

Her heart skips. "The...long haul?"

He nods. "I'm not the kind of person who dates around. I know my dad told you some things about me, but his perception of me isn't entirely accurate. I _was _really shy with girls, it's true. And I haven't had a lot of experiences. But it's because I'm not interested in casual dating. I don't like the games that come with it. I guess I'm just a foolish romantic, but I've always just wanted to commit myself to one person, whole-heartedly, with forever in mind. I had started to think that would probably never happen for me. But then you came, and before I even realized what was happening, I was falling. What I feel for you now is scary, and intense, but because I feel it, I can't promise your brother that I will never take you from him. Because I can easily envision a day where I do. Where I ask, anyway."

Halfway to a diamond, indeed, Rey thinks deliriously. Her heart is flying _so fast_ in her chest, like the boat over open water.

"Do you remember that day on the island?" he asks softly. "Do you remember what you told me, about wanting to be a mother?"

Oh god, that memory. She hopes its too dark to see how hard she blushes from embarrassment. That admission was far, far too personal. She shouldn't have said it at all. Now he's pulling it back up out of the ground where she tried to bury it, and she doesn't want to look out of fear.

"I remember."

He holds her hands a little tighter. "Don't be ashamed, Rey, please don't be ashamed. I told you then and I'm telling you now, there's nothing wrong with that secret wish. In fact, it's something I want too. I didn't think I could say it out loud until you were brave enough to do it first. I want that, and the whole cheesy package. The house, the pets — yes, a cat, but also a dog — the van-full of noisy, chaotic kids, the wife, the _life_. Something better than what I had. Something better than what you had. Watching you tonight with Dyn...god, Rey, you're going to be a great mother. And I want to be part of that."

Rey's head is spinning. She grips him unsteadily lest she fall over.

He hurries to fix whatever this confession has induced in her. "I know, I know, it's too much right now. I'm sorry — this is — this is way too much. I'm not asking for any of that now, because I know it's too soon. There are still things we need to learn about each other, still a lot of ground to cover. We've rushed this far into this thing so fast, and I'm not trying to accelerate things further. If it doesn't work, it's okay. If we try, and a few months in, or a year, or in any amount of time, we decide it doesn't work for us, we can part as friends."

Why is he talking about breaking up when this thing is barely begun? The idea of that is unreasonably upsetting.

His hands transfer to her waist and he scoots to the very edge of the hood, pulling her in closer. "But you need to know that I'm going into this with a goal in mind. With that specific dream. Not now, but someday. For now, I just want you to be my girlfriend. It didn't feel right to ask you for it without letting you know what you're getting into. Are you — are you okay with that?"

It's probably a healthy conversation to have. This setting of expectations. This clarification now will save them from being blindsided in the future. No one can claim they didn't know what the other person wanted for their end game. Ben is apparently a traditionalist. He wants it all. And he's asking if she does too.

Rey can't remember how to breathe. However healthy and rational this is, she feels like she's about to fly into a million pieces and go drifting off into the atmosphere. She holds his face in her gaze, his deep, dark eyes full of tenderness and fear, nervous that she will freak out. It _is_ too soon, but her heart doesn't seem to know that. It throbs with yearning.

Of course she wants the same thing. She always has.

"Yes," she breathes, so soft she has to swallow and try it again. "Yes. I am. Ben, I — I want all of that—

Before she can really even figure out what to say, he is pulling her into him, snatching her words away with hungry, desperate lips against her own, reigniting that white fire again, consuming her in the depth of his relief.

Rey lets go.

Drowning in this feeling of him, in this feeling of _them_, she can almost see it. That vision of a shared future, building something together that would go on for generations after them, founded on love and something do much deeper. Mutual respect and understanding carrying them through all the natural turmoil of a shared life, keeping them as happily bound to one another then as they are right now. A family of their own, better and more real than anything she has ever dreamed of. Partners and lovers and unrecognizably _happy_.

It's so real that the next kiss is absurdly wet, and she realizes that there are tears in her eyes, and maybe they are in his too because everything tastes salty now and he's holding her so tightly against his trembling body.

It might be too soon to throw themselves headlong into that wild unknown, but Rey recognizes that these are their first steps. And it feels right.

Being here tonight, after all that has happened, Rey finally feels what she has been missing her entire life.

At long last, she is home.


End file.
